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posted by panther-jewel
I often read that a former Stelena fan becomes a Delena fan, and I never heard of a change the other way around.
Elena says that she feels safe with Stefan, but Damon makes the decisions that keep her safe, and Elena herself starts being the "bad one" to protect the ones she loves – and becomes more like Damon with it, who is willing to let her hate him as long as she is safe. Elena says that she is happy with Stefan, but Stefan always deals with his guilt and self-hate, while Damon makes Elena laugh or they laugh together and have much fun. Elena says that Stefan makes her happy to be alive, but Damon saves her again and again, she has most fun with Damon and the love that she shares with Damon is a love that makes one feel alive. And Elena has to realize all of that sooner or later, while there is nothing hidden that could "push" the Stelena relationship. The only thing that you could admire in the SE relationship is their stubbornness to stay together, what by far most of us don’t agree with – and only understand it for perhaps reasons of fear and guilt.
The clear and outright majority wants Damon and Elena to end up together, and I only hear extremist SE fans speaking against it (but they only use opinion that close to everybody disagrees with, and they have no real reasons), impatient DE fans that lost their faith spreading pessimism, or fans, that don’t bother to take a closer look, not understanding the story.

In love stories, there are normally problems that a couple has to overcome before they can finally be together. Stelena got together right away and never had to fight for their love, while Delena seems to have only difficulties in their way and still get closer and closer. The story deals mostly with the development of the relationship between Damon and Elena so that Stefan seems to be the obstacle for the Delena love story – and not the other way around. It seems that almost everything stands against Damon’s and Elena’s love, and Delena still get constantly closer and their relationship always deeper; just think about HOW STRONG their mutual love is to overcome so many and so serious obstacles.
A fan said: "If you truely love someone, you don’t fall for another person." When you develop feelings for somebody else, while you are already with someone, the first CAN’T be your true love. And another fan said: "That is what true love is about: the capacity of being the best of someone’s life or the worst." "Always good" can NEVER be that; it has NO chance to become no. 1. And Elena’s reactions, feelings and so on towards Damon take place in their extremes, they are more powerful than everything else that she does or feels.
Elena only SAYS all of the things that she feels for Stefan, she is used to being with him and her friends tell her that she should stick to him. But she FEELS everything that she has for Damon, and all of that always becomes deeper and stronger despite the obstacles that stand in its way, and it even has an effect on others – inside of the story as well as outside. You should rather listen to Rose who has experience in life and can see everything from the other side – and looks at the relationship with both brothers – than to Caroline who is only eighteen (died with seventeen) and represses her own feelings for Klaus. And what Delena have is interesting and deep and meaningful, the main focus and attention of the show is on DE, and Damon and Elena have love and passion and just EVERYTHING together. "Every time they touch sparks fly" and "You can almost hear the crackles of electricity in the air" are two fan quotes that describe the fire and tension between Damon and Elena pretty well.
So, Elena and Stefan have the "saying without feeling", while Damon and Elena have the "feeling without saying" (in the TV show [Elena admits her love for Damon in the books]). And feeling is more important than saying so that we get the best; or to be more accurate: We Delena fans CHOSE to ship DE because of that; the HEART is more important than the MIND. Damon thinks in "The Return: Midnight", chapter 2 "Now he could sit and let bitterness gnaw at him, while this pure spirit followed her conscience.", after he pushed Elena away from him because they got very close again. He doesn’t mention it, but it actually means "while this pure spirit followed her CONSCIENCE instead of her HEART". Because everything that comes from Elena’s heart leads to Damon: for example "It was what her heart always yearned for." (when Elena kisses Damon) [The Return: Midnight, 28] and "And her skyrocketing heart brought a name to her lips. ’Da - !’" [The Return: Midnight, 42]. A fan said: "It’s time Elena listens to her heart … that screams ’Damon, Damon, Damon …’."
When I hear somebody describing love with all of its aspects, it is exactly what Delena is about. Several of you around here have told us about your experiences, and everybody with age and experience came to the conclusion that the Delena love is real love; nobody got older and suddenly stopped believing that. So, to those who can’t believe that that is true love: "You’re still young. You don’t see what we see." I personally prefer everything planned and controlled in my life – just NOT love. Love needs to be overwhelming, uncontrollable and consuming, love should be powerful and it shouldn’t be possible to shake it off. But it was very scary and took much time for me to get to that conclusion – given my usual need for safety –, but the happiness is always stronger than the fear.

And although I would accept Damon and Elena as endgame because we have the clear and outright majority, because we Delena fans had to suffer through so much or because both sides get something if the SE fans get almost the whole show and the DE fans get the end, I would prefer that it is INTENDED that everything leads to Delena as endgame and that the show-runners UNDERSTAND the story in our way. But Damon and Elena can only get together close to the end, because the story has to be over soon after that; their relationship could shortly be shown and how Stefan deals with it; but there would not be much left to say and Stefan would probably leave. There can definitely NEVER be anything like what Damon and Elena have throughout the show with anybody else when DE will finally be together.
The success and the popularity of the books and of the TV show exist undeniable due to the devotion, commitment, precious time, money etc. of the fans, and the overwhelming majority are the Delena fans. One fan said: "The anticipation for a DE union keeps the audience watching." The real thrill of the story is how long the indicated and desperately desired uniting of Damon and Elena can be postponed and the way how the story gets there. The relationship between Damon and Elena is discussed most, the Damon-and-Elena-scenes move everybody, and the biggest attention and focus lies on Delena. I read "DE make the show" so many times; Delena is mostly dealt with and their relationship is most loved. Their relationship is the only one in the show with real depth, and they get the best scenes. Just look at HOW OFTEN Damon carries Elena, looks at her while she is asleep or unconscious, safes and protects her, HOW OFTEN only Damon’s reactions are shown when Elena arrives somewhere or when he realized that she died and moments like that in comparison to the frequency of such scenes for other couples. Therefore, the Delena love story is the true love story of the "Vampire Diaries" because of its journey, intensity and everything else that it has (like no other one).
I would feel betrayed if Elena choosing Damon in the end won’t happen because Damon or Elena dies or Elena will split into two persons (and I mean no doppelganger, maybe a spell going wrong) or something like that that makes a decision unnecessary. I DEMAND a sense for the development of the Damon-and-Elena-relationship, the heart-break, the pain etc., and I NEED the suffering of Damon and of us Delena fans to be worth something. I think that it is unfair to create something out of nothing in the SE love story to push Stelena in public (while the books and the TV show clearly lead to Delena), but it is perfect for the slow and beautiful build up of the DE love story, because it keeps us scared while all still leads to what we want.
In the books, Elena’s parents died YEARS before, and although I heard much about the differences between books and TV show, I have never come across the reason why they died shortly before Elena officially met the Salvatore-brothers in the show. Perhaps, and the idea suddenly hit me while working on this text, because Elena was thrown off her track by it and is affected by the severe psychological problems that it caused for her (what were three years for us were only MONTHS for Elena), she is influenced by pain and fear after losing her parents and has to still find a way to cope with that completely before being restlessly herself again. If Damon and Elena had gotten together first, – although that would probably also have taken its time – , there could NEVER have been something like the triangle is now the other way around; and as soon as Delena will get together with how things are now, Elena’s doubts and being torn will end for good, because DE are MEANT to be together. There shouldn’t be a different end with different courses of events; but the outcome can be postponed and the way can vary while the final destiny can’t be changed. (By the way: In the books, Elena also met Damon first – as a crow – right at the start of the story, so that it is almost the first thing that you read [The Awakening, 1]; the first scene ever written of "The Vampire Diaries" was the first encounter between Damon and Elena in human form [The Awakening, 10]; and Damon tells Elena, when they clean up the motel room, that he came to Fell’s Church before Stefan and only "lurked in the shadows longer" and watched Elena [The Return: Shadow Souls, 10].) A fan said: "It began with Damon and Elena and it will end with Damon and Elena." So, the accident that killed Elena’s parents only set her swinging for a while, but she sooner or later will tune back to her original way that leads directly to Damon.

In the books, Elena calls Damon her "best beloved" [The Return: Shadow Souls, 8], her "soul’s eternal mate" [The Return: Shadow Souls, 8] and her "twin-flame" [The Return: Shadow Souls, 38]. She says that she belongs to him [The Fury, 1] and he belongs to her [The Return: Shadow Souls, 8], that she wants to be with him forever [The Struggle, 16] and that she was born to be with him [The Fury, 1] – in moments when she is not affected by her guilt –, and she says that she is his [The Return: Shadow Souls, 17]. I once read: "People think a soulmate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soulmate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soulmate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake." That sounds EXACTLY like Delena; around here are several articles that show that Stefan could be Elena’s soulmate (what also relatives and friends can be), but Damon definitely is Elena’s "true soulmate", "soul’s eternal mate" and "twin-flame" – and that is who is really important in life –, like Elena is also Damon’s "true soulmate", because this definition works in both directions in the Delena relationship, "soul’s eternal mate" and "twin-flame" of course.
This is the short version of what I once read about twin flames: "The souls in one group are our soulmates. Then each of these souls is split into two, creating the twins. Twin flames are two people in two seperate bodies that share the same soul. When twin flames meet and are ready for each other, it is the most enjoyable experience on earth. At this point, twin flames are almost identical. They truely compliment each other and it is a hardship for them to be apart. They also have a very strong bond and often have telepathy with each other. Their lives even before meeting each other have many parallels. Meeting your twin flame is very rare on this planet. All other relationships through all our lives could be said to be ’practice’ for the twin, the ultimate relationship. Your actual twin flame is the other half of your soul. One can have some serious issues and be afraid to open up to the energy because the bond is so strong. It will be a direct bond with this person, so drawn that you can’t let go of the connection. The connection is very intense and you can feel what they are feeling even apart. Sometimes people can’t handle this deep spiritual bond with someone and block it, but the twin flame is never one sided, the feelings between those two will always remain and will find themselves some way back to their twin flame. Hugging each other is like coming home for nourishment. Well, clearly Damon and Elena fit perfectly well: difficult relationship, the deep connection since the first meeting and that famous understanding they can’t explain. It’s outstanding. It’s unbelievable." I also heard that two candles are sometimes shown at the beginning of a Delena scene or stand close together in the background or something like that in the TV show, although I haven’t looked for that myself yet, but there are definitely many DE parallels all over the show.
It is just NOT POSSIBLE for Damon and Elena to be without the other, they are under each other’s skin and they can’t change that despite fighting, resisting and denying; and even when Elena fought long and hard to save Stefan, what should normally make Stelena becoming closer, she fell more and more for Damon. Elena can’t imagine what she would do without Damon, and Damon promised to never leave her again in the TV show, while it is said in the books: "She could not imagine a universe, no matter how many dimensions there were, without a Damon in it. There was no world for her, if there was no Damon." [The Return: Midnight, 38]. A fan asked who wouldn’t in love prefer a hurrican that overwhelms you to faint drizzle that doesn’t make you feel emotions, and I also wonder who would not. And Elena is definitely a girl who wants fun and adventure in her life.
And the ritual in the books when Damon appears as Elena summons up her future husband [The Awakening, 11] and the vision that Bonnie has of Damon when touching Elena in the pilot of the TV show [man - fog - crow] already give Damon away as Elena’s destiny. It was probably not clear to everybody already at the start with things like Elena saying "I hate him, Stefan" (about Damon) and Katherine telling Stefan that "I hate you" sounds like the beginning of a big love story, but it became more obvious with time and with more and more hints, like that Damon and Elena change each other with their mutual love, that Elena can’t shake off Damon because she is really in love with him and that it consumes Elena to be with Damon while she wants a love that consumes her, until everything leads to Delena as endgame.

I also like the fan comments "When you love someone, you don’t necessarily have to shower them with words like ’I love you’ etc.; actions speak louder than words, and Damon’s and Elena’s actions SCREAM that they love each other with every fiber in their being." and "Damon and Elena don’t have to say ’I love you’. They actually PROVE it."; and that is what is really important. "It is visual story-telling, showing not telling the audience what is happening between two characters", as I once read. And Damon’s inner monolog "She's in love with you. […] She's never said so! […] She doesn't have to say it. She's showing it. Don't pretend you haven't seen it before!" in "The Return: Midnight", chapter 2 underlines that.
Everything that is said and done on the show leads to Delena, every touch and every look between Damon and Elena make us FEEL so much with them, and the song texts in the background make it all even stronger. Damon and Elena often use exactly the same words in similar situations, and those words are sometimes even used again in the songs; there are also lots of other parallels between situations with Damon and those with Elena involved, and also on whom the camera is in certain moments underlines things for Delena. A special atmosphere is created for the DE love story by all of that, and there are so many hints that lead to Damon and Elena as endgame; there can be found lots of amazing articles that show all of these hints in detail so that I won’t repeat everything here. Much is about words and phrases, but an important part are also the small things that Damon says and does that are all so MEANINGFUL and the only things that really count, but he very often hides them and steps aside again and again, for Elena, for his brother, or because he can’t bear to be hurt again.
One fan put it like this: "The beauty of Damon’s love is that DESPITE the fact that he is passed over, he still stays for her, protects her and puts her feelings and ease before his own." Devotion, unselfishness and sacrifice are usually used to describe what Damon shows when it comes to Elena.
Another fan said: "The fact that he’ll do anything for Elena, that’s true love. Saying he loves her but also saying he doesn’t deserve her, that’s true love." And that and everything else make it obvious for me that Damon and Elena have true love.
A fan wrote that she loved everybody who shipped Delena from the start, and I feel the same and am delighted to be loved for that, because we are the important basis of our fanbase. But I also like the fans who were convinced with time and understood the story after a while, because the Damon and Elena love story causes more and more fans to join the Delena squad.

There are way TOO many hints in the story that point to Delena to be unintended, although perhaps some are not deliberately put into the story and came up by the strong force of the DE love story, but Damon and Elena get so MANY of those hints (what no other couple has) that it can’t all be only one big coincidence. So much time has to be put into the creation of the Damon-and-Elena-scenes, they are so well thought out, much work is put into them, they require such a big thoughtfullness and they are minutely scripted with very much care to create the perfect foundation for a wonderful and legendary relationship. The original author, the producers of the show and everybody else responsible cause (with what they do) by far most of the fans to become Delena shippers – no matter if it is in the books or in the TV show. There are different forms of foreshadowing everywhere, and the presentation in public makes everything even more stronger. Neither Stelena nor any other couple EVER had something close to like what is created for Delena, so that a bad job would be done if SE is intended to be made big. It would be evil to give us such a build up of the DE relationship only for ratings; it is made hard and painful to ship Delena by all of the obstacles and setbacks, but we Delena fans STILL have the by far biggest fanbase, that doesn’t stop – or even slow down – growing and growing, because we made the right choice and everything leads to what we desperately desire. And how can what deals with the journey from point A to point B end in point A?
Elena may still be with Stefan, but the story shows the development of the Delena love story. You could call it "Vampire Diaries – The Damon and Elena story", because Delena and their relationship are dealt with most (frequency, intensity, depth, …), especially how Damon and Elena influence and change each other. The other characters don’t change that much and no other relationship has such a development or is described even close to how the DE love story is portrayed in detail. Elena and Stefan only have the ridiculously sticking to something that is already dead or even never was alive, and their relationship is usually about Stefan’s self-hate or about saving Stefan or about how to make Stefan control his "blood thirst". The Delena relationship deals with all aspects of love and it seems to influence all of the other storylines and relationships.
I hear over and over how people ask why Elena can’t see what she has in Damon and that they are destined to be together. I also wonder about that, but a while ago, I saw a list of things that Elena doesn’t know about. Those were only examples and there is even much more, and I was surprised to realize HOW MUCH Elena hasn’t seen or heard, because she wasn’t around, was asleep, was unconscious, was compelled to forget or couldn’t see or hear what was said and done. She will remember soon what she was compelled to forget, but there is still much more what the audience knows and what she has still to find out about. So, poor Elena is totally clueless in many ways, but even with what is already known to her and with all of the bad things that she knows about Damon and that he allowed her to see, she NONE THE LESS already fell in love with him.
I hope that Elena will remember step by step what Damon compelled her to forget, so that we have two (or more) "remembering scenes" and not just one.
But Elena has to stop taking Damon for granted and to learn that her actions have consequences. She seems to assume that Damon just gets over everything that she says, but she has to experience how her life would be without him. I myself wouldn’t mind seeing her consumed with heart-ache and jealousy because of Damon for a change, so that she finally can appreciate him and everything that he does for her.

Damon’s and Elena’s relationship is based on honesty and trust; Damon allows Elena to see everything about him (except for when he does good things) and to know especially all of his dark sides. On the other side, Damon tries to keep all of Stefan’s bad "ripper acts" from
Elena, but tells her that Stefan only saved Klaus to save his brother. Damon admits Stefan’s motives because he wants everything (and in that scene especially the kiss) to be REAL between himself and Elena, what he also says when Elena asks him why he didn’t compel her on the road trip to Bree’s bar ("When it’s real, you can’t walk away."). When Elena asks Damon how he knows Scary Mary, he doesn’t mention where he met her or who introduced them (what would be the normal answer to such a question), but instead he admits right away that he had sex with her. Damon needs Elena to push him for an answer before he declares that he doesn’t show the good in him because he doesn’t want to live up to expectations. Damon takes the memory of his first tearful love confession away from her and he doesn’t give away the good things that he does (when it isn’t necessary), and Elena STILL already loves him despite not knowing about so much of that. Damon and Elena are honest with each other and love each other for what they are ("I like you now, just the way you are."), and that makes their love and relationship honest, true, real, right and natural. I like the following comment of a fan about this issue: "Elena doesn’t love who Stefan is, she loves who she THINKS he is, to that she is holding onto. And as it seems, she doesn’t want to know and accept who Stefan really is, she refuses to, whereas with Damon she was intrigued to find out. That is one of the monumental differences between DE and SE and one more reason of why Delena are true and real."
The relationship between Damon and Elena keeps growing steadily throughout the show, and each setback only makes it stronger and deeper. There can never be less again between Delena, and although everything with their clothes on and without a confession of their mutual true love would be a step back now after three seasons – at first view –, you realize on closer inspection that what Damon and Elena built between them will NEVER disappear again ("DE and their mutual love always survive."). Delena have a connection, deep feelings, a strong friendship, mutual dependence, closeness, intimacy and trust between them, they feel truely comfortible with each other and are under each other’s skin, and all of that will stay for them and even continue to become stronger. "Don’t run from your feelings; if you keep surpressing it, it would keep growing and growing", as I once read; and that is what happens to Delena’s emotions.
As painful as it was, everything that happened made sense so far. Elena’s choice is understandable, considering that she still doesn’t know about so many things, but it is the wrong choice, with everything that we viewers already know, and that will continue haunting Elena until she will finally make the right decision. And it would make NO sense to keep messing with the audience; the development of the beautiful and unique Delena love story has to have a reason, and it would be PURE CRUELTY if all the pain is for nothing. Everything inside of the story leads to Delena, and the incredible and overwhelming build up as well as the whole presentation in public make that even stronger. It would be boring if the story will always be the same without any change (then, it could end now – or already at the start), and I like the comparison that watching Stelena is like watching paint dry (our favourite word for their relationship is still "cheesy").
But the Delena love story is exciting, hot, moving and so many other things. One fan said about DE: "The way he stares at her makes it seem like she is the only woman in the world." I personally never enjoyed watching somebody only looking at somebody else that much before (AMAZING job with facial expression [like always], Ian Somerhalder), and I often read comments like "I want a man to look at me like that", "I would like to spend just one day in her place" or "If she doesn’t want him, I’ll take him". I am very tempted myself, but would (or could) never get into the way of Delena’s amazing and epic love story ("It is because I love you that I can’t be selfish with you two."), although I agree with a fan who said about Damon: "He can look at me and make me do whatever he wants, he doesn’t need his vampire skills for that."

Damon and Elena go through a painfully slow but still steady uniting throughout the story, so that you feel like screaming "you two love each other" all of the time, but "there can’t be a rainbow without rain". And the development of the Delena relationship is so special and wonderful and their love story so beautiful and unique, what makes their unbelievable journey so overwhelming and unforgettable. I once read: "The more it is delayed, the more real it is."
So, we have to stay patient; like it is mentioned in other articles, the love stories of other TV shows also sometimes took years (and those couples were not THAT special in comparison to Delena). We waited one and a half seasons for Damon to confess his love to Elena (although he made her forget it again); we waited two seasons for his next love confession (that she remembered) and for her to kiss him; we waited two and a half seasons [until the end of episode 54 (!)] for their first real kiss (especially without anyone dying or something like that) [Damon initiated that kiss, but Elena reciprocated it]; and we waited almost three seasons for their first passionate kiss [Elena initiated that kiss] that was really more making out heavily (and again nobody was dying). It took Damon all summer after Stefan left and 10 episodes to finally kiss Elena, and he almost left without doing it, and it took Elena 9 more episodes to kiss Damon back, and she also had an inner fight before actually doing it; but when they started, they were both really into it and WANTED it (what you can for example notice in the fact, that after stopping for a moment and looking deeply into each other’s eyes, they still went on just as passionately as before).
Delena have undoubtedly the most wonderful scenes in the show (and in my opinion also in history), and that we always have to wait that long makes them even more epic. My favourite episode after three seasons is "Heart of Darkness" [season three], my favourite phase the first half of the third season and my favourite scene still when Damon confesses his love to Elena before compelling her to forget it again WITH TEARS RUNNING DOWN HIS CHEEKS (and the best part is: "And it is because I love you that I can’t be selfish with you.") ["Rose", season two]. So, I hope that it will be just as good when Elena will finally confess her love for Damon (we can already notice her love, but she still has to admit it openly). It is hard but I can wait, we DE fans are used to being patient, because each special and moving scene between Damon and Elena was definitely WORTH waiting for; and Damon won’t push Elena, and that is exactly the right way for their unique and unforgettable love story. Whenever you build something quickly and without caring about details, it can be destroyed easily; when something is built with care and every detail in perfection, it becomes strong and can be everlasting.
I once read: "The most compelling love stories are the ones that take their time with the build up, the thrill of the anticipation, until there’s so much unresolved sexual tension waiting to boil over the brim. […] We are enjoying the build up to what is going to be an indescribable moment when it does happen. Good things come to those who wait." And that is SO fitting for Delena.
One fan said: "The harder and more epic the journey, the more epic and unforgettable the couple." And we already have the best journey and build up in history, we only still desperately need the Delena endgame to make it perfect; but no matter what, this beautiful and unique journey can NEVER be taken from us again.
Damon and Elena go through almost the same journey together. They have to learn to deal with their emotions, because Elena is still young and inexperienced and never had the kind of feelings that she has for Damon before, while Damon didn’t allow himself to feel for almost all of his undead existence until he fell for Elena. Their mutual love changes them (there are many articles that deal with these changes so that I won’t go into detail now), and both react differently in some ways than before they met, and they become more and more like the other with those changes. Damon and Elena go through problems and danger together and support each other during it, what makes them getting steadily closer.

Delena have a connection, they know and understand the other like nobody else even closely can, and they accept and even love each other exactly how they are. They touch something inside of the other and change each other, and there is chemistry, tension and fire in everything between them. Damon and Elena both REPEATEDLY risked their life against stronger opponents to save the other, and they always do everything necessary to protect each other (even against the other’s will). It is made clear several times in the show that love changes people, and Delena have the strongest influence on the development of each other. I heard that Elena is Damon’s connection to humanity, while Damon tears down Elena’s walls. I also read that Elena is Damon’s humanity, while Damon is Elena’s maturity. Damon represents Elena’s way to adulthood, he causes her to grow, grow up and move on. Damon is Elena’s adult love (with passion, with complications, but always true and real), and that is another reason why Delena should be endgame. Another good fan quote is: "Elena brings out Damon’s humanity and Damon brings out Elena’s passion within. Something that no one else can do for either one of them. They are and always will be each other’s perfect match."
But Elena also changed Damon, she tore down his walls, what not even Stefan could, and she needed only months to accomplish that. It is NOT an absolute change; Damon is no mean villain, he is the classical bad boy with a good heart. But Elena brings out the good in Damon, she redeems him; and feeling again is VERY painful for him, but he finally allows himself to feel – for her. It would make no sense to let Damon end up with somebody else after it was Elena who achieved all of that; there can never be another girl as a serious option for Damon ("I will always choose you."). Damon can only get true love and real happiness with Elena.
It is not possible for Damon and Elena to be without the other; I think that Stefan would leave to let them be happy (it was his idea that the one that is not chosen should go away). Stefan has to get rid of his guilt and self-hate to be happy, and his love for Damon is also important to him; Damon is the only one who can get Stefan even close to controlling his "blood thirst". Damon on the other hand finally regrets because of Elena everything bad that he did, but Damon forgives himself all of it because it led him to meeting Elena, so that he isn’t overwhelmed by his bad conscience. And Damon desperately NEEDS true love to be happy and he really DESERVES it after everything that he had to go through. Everybody chose his brother over him: their father, Katherine, at the start Elena, …; and their is a big emphasis in the story on the fact that Damon is always only second choice. But it is not enough for him to get along with Stefan, he badly needs to be loved for himself and who he is, and Elena is the only one who does that.
Damon is so tortured, he is heart-broken and hurt and suffers so ENORMOUSLY, so that he deserves to get his true happiness with Elena in the end. The fan comments "Damon needs that love from Elena to truely feel complete and his heart feel whole." and "Damon needs and loves Elena more than Stefan. Stefan needs and loves his brother more than Elena. It almost seems like it is Damon that is at the center of the triangle, rather than Elena." are fitting here. I never thought of the triangle like that before, but it is true in a certain way. Elena herself says, as she lies in bed with Damon, that it will be Stefan’s love for Damon that will bring him back to them and not Stefan’s love for her. (I would like to see more such Delena "bed scenes", by the way.)
So, what we DE fans have left is patience, optimism, confidence, hope, fighting, sticking together, trusting ourselves and the overwhelming majority and believing in Delena. I always like to read comments like "The love story of Damon and Elena will be imprinted in the hearts of every DE fan out there forever because they are and forever will be the true endgame." or "Delena is in our hearts. […] We love them through and through because we know that Damon and Elena are meant to be.". And we will continue fighting and hoping in patience und confidence, and I see it like a fan who said: "I will go down with this ship. I’ll proudly be waving my DE flag until the show ends." And I hope that we Delena fans would keep us above water even without a ship and that we will keep our shared obsession even after the end of the TV show in any case.

Damon is so unselfish ("It is because I love you that I can’t be selfish with you", "I want you to get everything you’re looking for", etc.) and very often steps aside, he knows that it is right not to push Elena, and he always puts her needs, safety and happiness above his own. Of course, Damon did some terrible things, but he did them to save and protect Elena or when he acted on impulses. He didn’t allow himself to feel for a very long time – and didn’t care about other’s at that time –, and when he started to feel again, he several times couldn’t HANDLE those emotions, what caused him to lash out. But these moments become less horrible and happen less frequently with time, because Damon gets more and more used to feeling and also closer to Elena who brings out his good sides and humanity (so, when Elena will be with Damon, she will make the world better [although that should only be an additional benefit and not her main reason to finally choose him – like their true love]).
Stefan (who by the way should have threatened to run the car with Elena into a tree or down a different precipice or something when he blackmailed Klaus, just NOT where Elena’s parents died when she was with them) tries to surpress his bad sides, what makes them and his guilt stronger, but he knows that he isn’t restlessly good. He thinks though that he is the "good brother", because he can’t believe that Damon could be redeemed, although Stefan saves Damon and is happy when he sees something good in his older brother; and I am sure that Stefan doesn’t think himself better than Damon to be mean and he witnessed many of Damon’s actions throughout many years. And Damon doesn’t pretend to be the "good one", but he step by step stopped acting out on his dark sides and started to feel guilty for his bad acts, without letting it overwhelm him; he accepts his dark sides and knows how to live with his bad conscience so that this darkness and his guilt can never control him completely.
And Damon is still the "bad brother", while Stefan is always the "good one" for the people around them, and Stefan hates himself none the less (like Damon is always second choice so far); and that does a SERIOUS damage on Damon’s self-esteem and makes it HARDER for him to be good [always considered the "bad one", always only second choice behind his brother, Stefan thinking himself a better person etc., even when Damon does good things], Damon can’t bear to be hurt much more and tries to protect himself from it, and that is another reason for him to lose it and lash out when his emotions become too strong and he is hurt again. But most of the fans prefer Damon – and of course Delena –, because Stefan was the "good guy" at the beginning so that every bad thing that he does hits us more strikingly, while Damon was introduced as the "bad guy" so that every good thing that he does draws more of our attention (and so many people have a thing for "bad boys", especially for those with good hearts). So, both brothers have their good AND their bad sides, but Damon often pretends to be evil and never to be only good, although he only does bad deeds with his emotions turned off or his feelings overrunning him, and he can stop that for Elena – although Damon will always do everything to keep her safe –; and he will always unselfishly put Elena first and he usually follows his good heart without bragging about it.

And the development of the show increases our hopes for a DE endgame. The Delena relationship went from "I wish Elena was dead" to "I will always choose you" and "I love you, Elena" and from "I hate him" to "I like you the way you are" and "I care so much about you", while the Stelena relationship turned from "it will always be Stefan" to "it is Stefan for now". So, the direction in which the story goes is what we all want, but we are worried and afraid, because one question still remains: Will the final step at last be taken?
Elena didn’t want to speak about marriage and starting a family with Matt, and she refuses to commit to Stefan forever. When Damon on the other hand speaks about himself and Elena (for example "I will always choose you" or "I promise I will never leave you again"), he uses words of eternity (always, never, …); and even Elena told Damon "We always survive" using "always". Elena said herself that she was too young with seventeen to know what love really is, and she isn’t much older now with eighteen. Combine the "not forever" and Elena’s inexperience so far with Damon’s "It is right – just not right now", and that makes us even more optimistic for a Delena endgame.
And how could there be an unDEad life together, an important DEal, DEarness, even one single DEcade, the final DEcision, DEdication, something really DEfinitive, something DElicious, DElight, clear DEmanding, mutual DEpendence, real DEpth, true DEsire, DEstination, DEstiny, a last DEtermination and DEvotion without DE? The DEvelopment DEmands Delena as endgame, it is only DElayed with a DEtour, because there needs to be DEliberating. But after all of the DEsperation, Damon, Elena and we fans DEserve our DEsired Delena happy end. And did you already notice that D and E stand next to each other in the alphabet, while S can be found almost at the other end? Or that there will always be Delena in "stefananDELENA"? (I know that those are no real reasons, but it is nice to know none the less.)
I can’t see how the story could end any differently than with Damon and Elena together. I hope that the show-runners are not too afraid to make a clear decision at the end, because we Delena fans haven’t had a strict Delena relationship so far and we deserve to get one after everything that we suffered through. We are not only the majority, we have such a BIG majority, and the ones responsible for the show should want to sell their TV show again – as DVDs etc. and when it is repeated on TV –; and some fans would only buy or watch it another time when it ends like they want it, and a few would stop at a time when they like the given status and pretend that there is nothing afterwards (FYI, I am not one of those), but we DE fans haven’t had such a moment yet where we would have wanted the story to end. And putting Delena together shortly without it working out would destroy everything that happened in the show. But would the producers really never give us what CLOSE TO EVERYBODY wants? Could all of the pain and heart-ache really be for nothing and the hints only be put in for ratings? Would they put such an emphasis on Damon’s suffering and on Delena changing each other and not let them end up together? Could the clear and outright majority really be wrong in its understanding of the story? All of the small but important things HAVE TO MEAN SOMETHING. The overwhelming majority and the foreshadowing make it clear for me.
I need to quote a longer comment of a DE fan after the end of season three: "With the way so many people were certain that Elena would choose Damon tonight, I was scared for my ship. I know there are going to be more seasons to come, so if she chose him now, that might just be the writers giving Delena fans what they want real quick before throwing SE back together for the endgame. That’s why I am happy that Elena chose Stefan instead. This way, SE is more of an obstacle to Delena’s true love instead of the other way around. The bigger the build up, the more angsty the story, the more likely it is that the couple will be endgame. If the story gave the majority of the fans what they wanted too quickly, then there wouldn’t be much more story left to tell. So, for the writers to continue dragging this out while giving us signs that DE are in fact destined (him meeting her first, her saying that he consumes her, etc.), they are building to the eventual endgame that is Damon and Elena, while still keeping their story options open. So, to sum it up: I’m glad we lost this battle because it means that DE is going to win the war." That is how we should look at everything, and it gives me so much hope.
I read: "Love in its most powerful form is all-consuming", and we agree on that. We have each other, we know that we are right and we still hope. And we all see Delena’s true love like Damon: "It is right."
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