What Klaus said to Damon in the cell during those two scenes really played on my mind over and over. The first scene was the one about what Damon says to Elena that's made her fall for him and the second scene being the one where Klaus was shattering Damon's heart about his fears of losing Elena to Stefan again and him not being able to live up to Stefan. In both those scenes I got really annoyed with Klaus but after watching them over and over I found that each scene could easily be used to mock and laugh at Klaus because of how incapable of love he is and how he can't seem to grasp the feeling of love, so who is he to sit and place judgment on Damon's feelings for Elena and also say what he believes is true love when he doesn't even know the full story or has seen what's been happening all this time. So I took advantage of all this and decided to write another mocking article but this time I've targeted our good friend klaus, whom I love but his character just pissed me off in 4x12. Anyway it's me writing as though Klaus is talking but It's my thoughts that are being written and I'm basically just making a huge joke out of Klaus and his logic. So enjoy :)

First Scene:
"So um Damon seeing as though I have to babysit you for god knows how long and there's still a good hour or so till I need to feed you your baby bottle of blood lets talk about love shall we. I'd like to think that it's an emotion I'm very much familiar with and seem to feel for so many people, including my dear mother whom I murdered years ago. May she rest in peace. Now Damon how is it that dear sweet Elena can overlook all your flaws? I mean you've done some pretty screwed up sh*t in your past but now you've changed for the better and you allow your humanity to dictate your life. Yet I still can't quite fathom how someone as handsome, honest, loyal, caring, protective, selfless and loving as you could land a girl as compassionate and as forgiving as Elena. Though I'll admit I am quite sure it has nothing to do with the sire bond. So did you manipulate her, compel her? Actually scratch that I'm just trying to get under your skin, but please for the love of god give me some damn advice on how you scored with her? What is it you say to her that keeps her around? I'll admit I'm envious of you both. I want Caroline and I to be just like you and Elena."

Second scene:
"Now I know I asked you for love advice instead of Stefan but your brother Stefan's love for Elena is stronger than yours even though he let her die just a few weeks back and now he can't seem to accept her as a vampire. You on the other hand would of saved her in a heartbeat had it of been you on the bridge that night and also you seem to accept Elena in any shape or form. Yet I'm still convinced Stefan's love is the strongest. I mean Stefan resisted compulsion so he wouldn't have to bite Elena now that's love. You however could not resist compulsion even though you begged Jeremy to kill you instead so you wouldn't have to kill him. You were willing to die then and there for Elena and Jeremy but no that love is not enough. Not nearly enough as Saint Stefan's. I mean Stefan let Elena die alone in a car at the bottom of a river but he was able to resist the urge to bite her for like 5 seconds until eventually he did so he must definitely love her more, don't you think? Being able to restrain yourself for a little while from feeding on the person you love is a much bigger declaration of love than saving them from dying, and willing to die without hesitation by the hands of the person you have been compelled to kill, true story look it up in the Klaus handbook of love, I wrote it. See Damon I know more about love than anyone else in the world. They call me Klaus Cupid Mikaelson because I'm like the angel of love baby. I've got all the ladies lining up even my current crush Caroline is banging on my front door at this very second hoping I'll let her in for some serious lovin. Oh and I know you're very much in love with Elena even though just a few minutes ago I was saying the complete opposite because you couldn't seem to fight the compulsion for her. But just so you know, Elena will run back to Stefan once she turns human because remember that time while she was under your sire bond influence you flat out told her in a clear concise way that the one thing that would make you the happiest man in the world is if she fell out of love with Stefan and fell deeply in love with you? Do you remember that Damon? I'm an expert in this field and I can tell you right here right now to just give up dude your fairytale ending ain't coming. I'm also a certified Psychic incase you didn't know, I can predict the future. Like remember all those times that I could foresee every disaster that came my way like when you all desiccated me, when Tyler was going behind my back and unsiring my hybrids. I could foresee it all. I'm Nostradamus the second. Now sit here and shut up while I go save my brother Kols ass from another crazy situation I saw coming from a mile away..."