posted by delenasalvatore
WARNING...If you ship Bamon, do not read! I repeat, DO NOT READ!!!
*This article deals with Show Bamon, not Book Bamon.
I nearly didn't publish this because I was worried that it might instigate a shipper war and that's the last thing I want. I've found that Bamon can be a bit of a smoking gun in DE's fanspot, and Bamon shippers have sometimes wandered in of their own sweet will and read things about their beloved ship which were intended for Delena fans, and as you can guess, the results weren't pretty. I was also a bit scared in case I turned the presence of Bamon into a bigger deal than they are by publishing an article about them. This article does not discuss why Bamon won't work, because I think most DE fans know all the reasons why. Instead, I'm going to try and find out why 'Bamon' provoke such a negative response among the DE fanbase. You might think we don't like Bamon because we don't want to see Damon with anyone but Elena. That's one of the reasons, but it's not all of it. It's not just Bamon - it's everything else that seems to come with them. I don't want you to think that we should be worried because Bamon will happen one day - that's not my reason for writing this. I think Bamon can sometimes be a problem for us. People can get angry, annoyed, intimidated or scared, and that doesn't help the fanbase any. Perhaps discussing Bamon in more depth will help.
I normally love relationships which start with one party hating the other. So technically, I should ship Bamon. Isn't that The Reason why people ship them? Because of the hatred and the 'fire' which exists between them? But I don't ship them.
I think that DE shippers could tolerate Bamon a bit more if every little 'moment' they had wasn't over-hyped and blown out of proportion. I wasn't even aware that a Bamon fanbase existed until I happened to stumble upon an innocent webclip of them. I just didn't get it. I couldn't see why so many people were so excited about them. Bamon fans might not be aware of it, but the hype which surrounds any scene of Damon and Bonnie doesn't do them any favours.
Take the spell scene in 'The Sacrifice' for example. You can find it on YouTube entitled 'Bamon Scenes 2x10', which is a bit of an exaggeration, to say the least. Perhaps it's understandable why Bamon fans get excited when Bonnie is standing in the same room as Damon; they share so few scenes together. Perhaps it's natural for them to put two and two together and come up with six. Most of the comments that accompanied the spell scene were so feverish you would think that Damon was about to do a strip-tease and Bonnie was only minutes away from declaring her eternal love for him. If Damon and Bonnie as much as glance at each other, it's declared 'eye sex'; if Damon thanks Bonnie for her help, it's proof of how much he cares for her; and if Damon mentions Bonnie by name at all, then it's evidence she's on his mind day and night and Elena should be jealous of all the attention Bonnie is apparently getting.
I think everyone who ships a couple has had that moment when they saw something special in their scenes together, something natural and right which made them go 'Those two should be together.' But when people are getting near-hysterical over something you can't see, it makes it very difficult for you to warm to them. I think DE shippers wouldn't mind Bamon as much if their fans enjoyed their scenes for what they are instead of some sweeping romance that was about to start any minute.
I've read comments from one Bamon shipper who apparently accused DE fans of 'denying' that Bamon have chemistry. This is untrue. DE shippers would be a lot more generous towards Bamon if we could see that they DID have chemistry, but that's the problem - we can't. It's not because we don't want to - I rewatched the spell scene on YouTube three times to make sure I hadn't missed something - it is simply not there. I think people who are adamant that Bamon chemistry exists are confusing the hostility which governs their relationship for sexual tension. The truth is, a couple need to have more than hatred before they can be defined as having chemistry. Damon has never made Bonnie smile. He's never made her laugh. They've never had a moment which showed they understood each other. These are the things that really make a couple's chemistry convincing. It's fair enough if people find Bamon interesting because they hate each other - but they are barking up the wrong tree if they think that blind hatred alone qualifies as attraction.
I suspect a big reason which accounts for Delena shippers distaste towards Bamon is this: their fans are already assuming Bamon will happen and are planning to do a dance on Delena's grave when it does. DE has suffered a massive set-back this season, so to hear that some Bamon fans are waving their 'Bamon Are The Future' flags when DE are barely up and running - and when we've still got the entire series to go - is greeted with incredulity. OK, I'm not going to lie and pretend that DE fans aren't going to be happy when SE break up, but SE have at least been together, whereas DE haven't. It's like saying that whatever Damon feels for Elena right now won't last, and doesn't matter. Moreover, I find it unbelievable that they can be so sure when all the evidence points to the contrary. Heck, I have the best faith in DE in the world, but even I don't take it for granted that they will be endgame; I can't think that far ahead at the moment.
Maybe I would be more accepting of Bamon happening in the future if we had a good three and a half years of Delena's relationship first, and they weren't as exciting or as good as they used to be. (Perish the thought.) Maybe then I would think it was time to pair Damon with someone new and I would be OK with it, because at least DE were together for three Seasons. But we don't know what will happen. It could take DE until Season 5 before they become a couple. I know that everyone thinks DE will have their first real kiss this season, but when have the writers ever done what we expected? I hate the fact that those BD shippers are dismissing what's really happening in front of them right now: Damon loving Elena enough to let her go, willing to do anything to protect her, even if it means losing his life, intervening before she 'sacrificed' herself...the list goes on and on. Damon's only nice to Bonnie when she's got something he needs (like Emily's crystal), or when she's done something to help him, (like helping to kidnap Mason or casting a spell that will incapacitate Katherine). In other words, he's only her ally when it suits him. I find it repugnant that some Bamon shippers blatantly overlook this, and shrug off DE as 'no big deal' when Damon has never done anything for Bonnie. I find SE the dullest ship ever created but to say that they don't love each other would be untrue. So why can't some Bamon shippers acknowledge that Damon loves Elena, and that it's just not in his nature to fall madly in love with a different girl every 2 years?
However, it's arguably not just the fans who over-hype Bamon. Probably, DE fans would find it easier to live with Bamon if certain media sources didn't persistently hint that Bamon might have a chance instead of viewing them for what they are: an AU couple, something that is firmly lodged in fantasy and not likely to become a reality any time soon. In some circumstances, I've felt that some interviews might be guilty of even promoting Bamon. In interviews with Katerina Graham or Ian Somerhalder, the question 'What about Bamon? Will Damon and Bonnie ever hook up?' has cropped up on more than one occasion. This is a ridiculous question when Damon and Bonnie don't even LIKE each other, and it has nothing to do with what's being presented on the show. Will Bonnie be able to forgive Damon one day for everything he's done? That would be more appropriate for their 'relationship'. Although these questions are asked as well, it seems that certain sources are intent on pursuing the Bamon question, or at least want to make us think that romantic intrigue could be on the way for them. But there's absolutely no evidence to suggest such a hook-up could be possible. So what's really going on?
I think it's obvious that the majority of the media are rooting for Delena. Maybe a small portion are interested in Bamon because they're intrigued that a Bamon fanbase exists. Maybe it's because they know Delena have the most fans on the show and suggesting that Bamon could be romantically linked will naturally provoke them. Maybe it's scare-mongering. Whatever it is, pushing the Bamon hook-up question in interviews is very misleading. It gets Bamon shippers all excited for nothing, and makes Delena shippers angry. It really does no good for anyone.
Bamon fans have sometimes accused DE shippers of being mean and aggressive and demanding. In fact, somebody posted on our wall recently that we have the meanest fans. I hope this article doesn't come across as mean. I also hope it doesn't detract from Delena, because I really don't want it to. Of course there's nothing stopping Kevin and Julie from writing a Bamon romance if they think it would make a good story, and people can ship Bamon if they want to. But why they can prefer Bamon over Delena will always remain a mystery to me. But sshh! Just don't tell them that.