The Key To Speed Dating
The key to speed dating is being honest and asking the right questions of your partner. What are some good speed dating questions?
The types of questions you ask depends on the type of person you are and the type of person you’re looking for.
There are a few unique questions that I’ve had success with, and work no who you are or who you’re looking for. Start out with some of these more generic questions before turning the conversation to your specific personality type.
“You’re cooking dinner for a friend and you burned the main course. What do you do?”
This is a coy way of determining if your speed date is down to earth or a wound-up manic type of person.
“If you could travel to your own past and correct a mistake you’ve made, would you do it?”
This question avoids asking about the specific mistake and instead will give you a general idea of the person’s attitude toward life.
“Who was your hero as a child?”
This question can tell you more about a person than it might seem — you may find out that someone is a religious fanatic, or that they have a political leaning that you don’t share. You may also find that this question leads to other interesting questions, or can really break the ice if someone is nervous.
speed-dating-questionsOnce you’ve asked a couple of generic information gathering questions, it would be wise to begin probing for your specific likes and dislikes. For example, if you’re an intellectual type, and are only interested in dating people with similar mental pursuits, tailor your questions to that end.
“What is the last book that you read?”
“What newspapers or online news sites do you follow?”
“Who is your favorite philosopher?”
These kinds of questions will let your potential date know that you are interested in smart partners, and could filter out many potential bad dates well in advance.
If you’re the adventurous type, ask questions along these lines:
“If you had a roundtrip ticket to any exotic location in the world, where would you go?”
“What is an extreme sport you’ve always wanted to try?”
“If you could be lost in the desert, the rainforest, or at sea, which would you choose?”
If the person you’re speed dating has no answer or seems disinterested, they may not be willing to kayak with you on the weekend, or visit a wartorn country that’s perfect for off the map snowboarding. You can decide then and there that they’re too boring for you.
Say, for instance, that you’re looking for long term love, not a flash in the pan romance. Get to the point by posing questions that relate to lasting relationships.
“What are your feelings on marriage?”
“Do you tend to be monogamous?”
“How many girlfriends/boyfriends have you had in the last two years?”
The answers to these questions, and the reactions to them, will let you know if the person across the table from you is in it for the long haul, or just looking for a one night stand.
Besides asking the right kind of questions, preparing for a speed date will help you in enjoying yourself on a speed dating expedition while simultaneously learning enough about someone to decide if you want to pursue a date with them.
1. Prepare A List of Questions Beforehand
If you’re worried you’ll “forget to ask the right thing” or that you’ll run out of time before you get the answers you’re looking for, there is nothing wrong with bringing a short list of questions, or even shorthand reminders of questions, to help you on the way. Preparing a list may even make you more appealing to certain kinds of people, who will appreciate your ability to plan ahead.
2. Try For Originality
Remember that your speed dating partners are meeting many people in one night. The more original your questions are, while still being specific and appropriate, the more you will stand out among the crowd.
3. Relax And Have Fun
Speed dating, as with all dating, is supposed to be an enjoyable experience. If you’re too uptight, you will be unattractive to most people.