posted by FreeAwesomeness
(This is actually something that has happened to me at school. For those of you who have been through bullying or are going through it right now, I understand how you feel.)
“Just move to the back of the line, where you belong.”
The words you told me slowly began to rip me apart. I hung my head down in shame, knowing you were right. I DID belong at the back and the bottom of everything. I turned around, and went to where you had ordered me to go. I know I wasn’t supposed to let the opinions of others define me, but I think it’s a bit too late for that. Every opinion of every other person I would be better off not knowing has already defined me. As much as I am sick of it, I also don’t think I’m able to stand up to it. “The only one who can make you feel small is yourself” someone once said. Oh, thanks for pointing out some more of my flaws. Makes me feel so much better.
Once I reached the back of the line, I took a deep, quivering breath. I wanted to break down, and burst into tears, but…I did that a few days ago. One of friends stood up for me. She stood up to the person who had just told me to move here. My tears where half sad, and half happy then. I was delighted that I finally had found someone who was willing to help me in my time of need, and who saw what was happening to me. I was also sad that she was the first one who had ever had the confidence to do that. As much as I’ve wanted to scream for help, I know that I am a powerless child.
For most of my life, I’ve felt like I’ve been drowning in a vast ocean, and someone is standing up in a boat a metre away, shouting “learn how to swim!”. I’m gradually beginning to swim, pulling myself up for a breath every now and again. Then, before I tire out too much, someone jumps in and helps me. But they can only help me for a certain amount of time before they end up tiring aswell. They left after a while, and I continued by myself.
As the class began to move forward, I hesitated. I didn’t feel like walking. I didn’t feel like doing anything. I just wanted to run off. It’s not like anyone would care that I was gone. I’d be surprised if anyone even noticed. And if they did, they’d all be delighted I wasn’t around. I’m sure of it.
But I walked with everyone anyways.