So I don't know about you guys but I hate seeing those anti-Princess articles that try to pick out and isolate things from DP films and show them out of context to be negative messages for young girls. I absolutely adore the DPs (big surprise!) and love all of the different types of positive messages that you can find in each. So I wanted to do some articles based on positive messages from each film/princess to counter all of the DP hate out there. ;) The first topic I'd like to choose is ❤ romantic love ❤ because it's the one I see presented negatively the most. So without further ado, here is some positive romantic advice from every single Disney Princess:
Snow White: A Happy Person Is An Attractive Person- If you find the positives in life then the positives are likely to find you.
Snow White was made to live as a maid in her own castle since the Evil Queen hated her. Instead of complaining and being corrupted by this, Snow White consistently and proactively chose to keep her spirits up. She chose to sing about her dreams of finding love one day instead of just giving up on what she wanted most out of life. Thanks to this, the Prince was able to hear her beautiful voice while he was riding nearby and it enticed him to meet the source of that positive and pleasant sound. So ultimately, it was Snow White's ever positive attitude that brought a positive love into her life. Besides, most people agree that a person is at their most attractive when they're smiling and happy. :)
Cinderella: Don't Let Your Competitors Convince You To Give Up Opportunities- If an opportunity for love presents itself, seize it! (Modestly, of course.)
When Cinderella realized that the ball would be open to all eligible young women in the kingdom, she stood her ground to get to go to the ball. While her stepsisters tried to tell Cinderella no, she insisted that "every eligible maiden was to attend" and that included herself. As the mature and smart adult, Lady Tremaine could not fight her on this and instead had to add new obstacles. Some have heard the phrase "Where there is a will, there is a way". If Cinderella had not been willing to take advantage of the opportunities presented to her, both with the initial ball conversation as well as with the Fairy Godmother, then she may very well have spent her entire life as a servant in her home which is exactly what her sisters/competitors wanted. The main reason why they didn't want Cinderella to go to the ball is because they knew, even better than she did in her modesty and humility, what would and did end up happening.
Aurora: Don't Be Afraid To Explore A Romantic Spark- Not everyone is lucky enough to find love, so be open to seeing where things can go before jumping in or out.
When Aurora first met Phillip, she was clearly torn. On one hand, she had just been singing about her loneliness and longing for romantic companionship. (Which is completely natural and nothing to be reprimanded for.) On the other hand, she also was a respectful and classy young lady who knew that she "really wasn't supposed to talk to strangers". In balancing out these factors, she came to the conclusion that she might never really have another chance at love like this so she decides to take it. In life, we will just about all have to make some risky decisions at one point or another, and one of the most risky decisions will always be those that include our hearts. So Aurora was being very brave and strong in deciding to take this risk for her heart but she also did so with class, grace and dignity. She didn't throw herself at Phillip, she let him know where she stood and why, to see how he responded which was in a gentlemanly and romantic way. After a dance and walk through the forest, she makes plans with him to meet her "aunts" or whatever she was calling them so she could introduce him and get their opinions. She gave this new flame it's best chance while maintaining her inspiring feminine mystique.
Ariel: Love Happens When You Least Expect It- So don't try to force it by throwing yourself at someone!
Although Ariel was on a time frame with the spell, trying to force a kiss on Eric was never going to work as an act of "true love's kiss" because as far as he knew, he's just met this girl that he knows nothing about other than that she keeps trying to kiss him. He found her to be very physically attractive, no doubt, which is why he was tempted to kiss her but the gentleman in him wanted to know her name first as well as more about her. [A key difference between a gentleman and a non-gentleman, that level of respect.] When Ariel first met Eric, it was totally unexpected. She saw the ship and happened to get to watch and learn about him seeing that he was a brave, handsome, humble and loyal guy. Similarly, when Eric first met Ariel, it was totally unexpected. He woke up and here was this beautiful woman, singing him back to consciousness after presumably saving his life. He could see that she too was brave and beautiful as well as nurturing. Both of their love was triggered unexpectedly, when they weren't trying to attract each other at all because that's when you know it's genuine. <3
Belle: Judge All Potential Mates Inside And Outside Before Choosing- A balanced relationship requires balanced partners.
Some people like to see Belle as someone who doesn't judge. I don't agree with that. I see Belle as someone who quite oppositely does judge but does so correctly and not prejudicially. I think this was part of Belle's unique charm, her good judge of character. While Gaston was clearly the most eligible bachelor around, as even her father Maurice innocently pointed out to her, her response is "He's handsome, all right, and rude and conceited and... Papa he's not for me." That sounds like a judgement to me and a very accurate one at that. Belle knew her worth and she knew that Gaston did not fully respect her as he clearly did not respect her mind or choices. Fast-forward to the Beast/Adam who completely respects Belle's choices selflessly, to the point of his own detriment. This is something that Gaston would have never done for Belle. When Belle was describing Beast/Adam to Maurice and the villagers later, she used words as "kind, gentle and different" to describe him, showing that she judged him as a man worthy of change with good character deep inside. So to me, this shows how accurate
judging is really important, especially in mate selection.
Jasmine: Don't Let Bad Past Experiences Define Your Romantic Future- Remember that not all men are the same, just as not all women are, and some are more mature than others while some even mature faster than others.
It is implied that Jasmine has not had a good history with men. Her father is not very bright or understanding, Jafar is despicable and the potential suitors/Princes that she meets are pretty similar to Jafar. So by all means, Jasmine has had no reference for a really great guy as well as a lot of negative reinforcement when it comes to males. On the other side, Jasmine is a woman who also wants to be taken on her own merit and not for what others are used to. This is why it was so important that she hold onto that realization and find it in common with Aladdin later so that she does not hinder a chance at real love. It was very important that she was open to Aladdin so that she could get what she always wanted, to marry for love and by choice, which is very admirable. Unfortunately, she was not open to this with Prince Ali which almost lost her Aladdin as he may have given up. However, she was very lucky that she recognized Aladdin through his disguise which saved their love.
Pocahontas: Great Love Often Comes With Great Sacrifice- Be willing to pay the costs, both foreseen and unseen (especially before committing).
Pocahontas is, in my opinion, the wisest of all of the DPs. We get to see her make multiple big decisions regarding love and romance and with each one, she carefully weighed the consequences. Her first big decision came with the choice on whether or not to marry Kocoum and she objectively looked at where both paths would lead. She knew that saying "No" meant she would have no idea what lied ahead or how it would play out (sacrificing a sure and positive husband and potential family) and she knew that saying "Yes" meant she would have a stable and sturdy home with a good, strong and respected man (sacrificing future potential opportunities). Her second big decision came with the choice on whether or not to keep seeing John Smith. Initially she had run away when he convinced her to stay a bit longer. She stopped and took a moment to sense what would be the right decision. This was indirectly linked with love as she didn't know she'd fall in love but that was an unforeseen consequence/result of choosing to stay in his company. Another unforeseen consequence of this was the death of Kocoum, which she admitted was partly her fault. Her third big decision came when she put herself in between her father and John Smith to challenge her father's stance and reason for John Smith's life as well as peace and balance between the two groups. Before she had decided this though, she asked for advice from Grandmother Willow, just as she had about Kocoum, to get a better insight into the results of her potential choices. And her final big decision came when she decided to let John Smith go while staying behind. Whether she had chosen to go or stay, either one was calling for a great sacrifice on her part. While we usually won't have to make sacrifices quite like that when it comes to love, the message is still relevant and applicable that we should be confident in our romantic decisions and aware of potential results so that any sacrifice as a result will have been worth it. This is further symbolized in the song "If I Never Knew You" which showed that the sacrifices had indeed been worth it for Pocahontas.
Mulan: Romantic Tastes Are Supposed To Be Varied & Unique- So don't let it bring you down too much if you don't meet someone's standards, they're probably not the one for you!
When Mulan went to the Matchmaker, she was so nervous about making a good impression and being matched with someone that would bring her family honor. However, a cricket got involved and she was heavily reprimanded as not being worthy of an honorable match. Then when posed as a man, Mulan got to hear a range of the soldiers giving their opinions of "a girl worth fighting for". When she offered a suggestion of a girl just like her, "who's got a brain and always speaks her mind", it was turned down by the 3 army friends. This could've really let Mulan down, thinking no man would be interested in her unique personality (especially relative to her time and place) but what she needed to realize is that as much as she wasn't their type, they weren't her type either. The one man who was Mulan's type, was Shang and he did appreciate "a girl who's got a brain and always speaks her mind"
. He respected Mulan and appreciated her in a way that the 3 army soldiers didn't, even though they did respect her as well, though not as much. (He was even the first to bow down to Mulan after the Emperor and his advisor did, initiating all of China to bow to her.) Similarly, Mulan had more respect for Shang than any of the other army soldiers, though she too had respect for them as well. So ultimately, she didn't need to be insecure or worried about not meeting someone who would appreciate her, she only needed to make sure she was able to recognize when she did meet such a man. :) Luckily she did and he was the most honorable catch that she could've gotten, so it worked out that the Matchmaker was wrong!
Tiana: Marriage Is A Mingling Of 2 Personalities That Diminishes Neither But Enhances Both- It's easy to be negative towards commitment while one is still single and/or immature but ultimately, it should be your most positive experience (when done right).
Tiana and Naveen were both suffering from negative connotations with romantic commitment. Tiana believed it would hinder her from achieving her dream of opening her own restaurant and Naveen believed it would hinder all of his freedom and fun. Both of them were confused in their immaturity and misguidedness. Both of them ran away from love not realizing that it was the "best thing [they] never knew [they] needed". Naveen turned out to be a source of comfort and support for Tiana's dream, immediately recognizing her talent upon tasting her swamp gumbo and encouraging her to pursue her goal. Tiana turned out to also be a source of comfort and support for Naveen's maturity and personal growth, eventually seeing the faults that had been enforced on him and helping him overcome his initial setbacks. In the end, they both balanced each other out and had enhanced each other's lives, quite opposite of diminishing each other as they had both feared to begin with.
Rapunzel: Real Love Results In Putting Them Before Yourself - When someone is truly in love, they put the well-being of that person before their own.
A common misconception about being in love is that one person can be in it with another person without that other person feeling the same. That's inaccurate. One cannot be in love with someone unless both are in love. Rapunzel didn't realize it but she didn't actually know what real love was before falling in love with Eugene, hence the song "I See The Light". Mother Gothel did not love Rapunzel though Rapunzel had affection towards her. It was the scene when Eugene cut Rapunzel's hair before
she could heal him, that she received her first act of true love, as it was a selfless sacrifice on his part. True love is putting another person before yourself and no one had done that for Rapunzel until the near-end scene when Eugene did.
Merida: Don't Get Married If You Know You're Not Ready- Sometimes rejection is the best gift that you can give to yourself and the other person(s) involved.
Obviously there is a balance to this as there is a difference between a little apprehension and knowing one is in over their head. Merida was not completely apprehensive towards marriage in general but she knew she was far too young and immature for marriage in the present. There is a time in life when we are younger where we get to be somewhat immature and selfish because it's part of growing up. We all just start at different points with some more or less mature and others more or less selfish. I don't mean completely selfish by the way but I mean the independent selfish, before marriage and/or a family. Merida seemed to be open to love, as shown by her perking up to the most masculine-looking soldier in the room when she thought he was one of the suitors, but she knew she wasn't ready for the commitment of marriage. Had she been forced into a marriage to one of those suitors, she and he would both be unhappy and suffering for it. So while it seemed like a totally selfish part on Merida, and in many ways it was, it was also the most respectful and honest thing to do which shows that she was maturing and proving that she could be ready someday in the future when she chooses it.
Elsa: Shutting Out Those Who Love You Will Only Worry Them More- While isolating can protect our loved ones to some degree, shutting off communication will often call them into action that might get them more hurt.
It's easy for one to get wrapped up in their own thoughts and/or actions and forget about the way others feel about us. When our loved ones see us in pain or isolating ourselves like Anna saw with Elsa, their devotion will often obligate them to figure out what's going on which might not end up so well for them. A lot of Elsa's problems with Anna could have been saved if she had at least been more honest and open in communication rather than just running away. It's important for us to remember how much we love those in our lives and what we'd be willing to do for them when trying to understand why they won't let it go when we're clearly bothered. This applies to all who love us, romantically or non-romantically, but it will apply especially with a romantic spouse who is with us more often.
Anna: Courting Is Essential For A Successful Romantic Relationship- Relationships grow over time organically and therefore should not be rushed.
It's painfully obvious that Anna should not have rushed that relationship with Hans as Frozen repeatedly made the point of. While there are a lot of people who look down on Anna and Kristoff's relationship, it was objectively one of the most organically played out relationships shown in a DP film. Neither Anna nor Kristoff were looking for love with each other, which is like the groundwork for a stable relationship as it makes it much more genuine. Additionally, they were both very honest with each other and found themselves in many teamwork-necessary situations which helps build up the trust and respect within a relationship. Furthermore, they spent a lot of time together and constantly helped each other out in the ways that they could. They both had their positives and their negatives exposed to each other and that is where their love was able to form. The most beautiful thing about their relationship, subjectively, is how it symbolically represented all of the stages of courting: They met and got to start knowing each other honestly, spent time together in a variety of situations building trust and love, met each other's family building respect and familiarity and then made it official. This relationship, without any pressures, was given everything it needed to blossom on it's own accord which is exactly how love should grow: organically.