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1) Fetch it yourself jerkwad! YOU threw it, why should I have to go and get it?
2) Fetch this!
3) (after licking himself) "ha ha! you only wish you could do that!"
4) "That whole, 'Blame your farts on me,' thing is SO not funny."
5) Bacon, Bacon, I smell Bacon, Only one thing smells like bacon and it's BACON!
6) One of these days... I'll catch that $%#& Squirel
7) Who's the b*tch now?
8) What is the air-speed velocity of an unlden swallow?
9) Hey, zipperhead, clean my water dish and I won't drink from the toilet.
10) Why dont you fetch your own newspaper!?
11) Dude, that Evil Lawn Gnome is creeping...
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posted by laura1233214
It’s generally believed that Owney’s original owner was a mail clerk because, just as Bob the Railway dog was obsessed with trains, Owney loved the scent and texture of mail bags and followed them by land, train, or boat wherever they went. When Owney’s owner left for whatever reason, Owney stayed behind at the post office with his precious mailbags. After a while, Owney began to follow the bags, first in mail wagons and then on mail trains. He started to rack up miles, traveling through the county, then the state, and finally the whole United States. Mail clerks were happy to let him...
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posted by laura1233214
The Saint Bernard is a dog that was specifically bred for a single purpose—to search and rescue. Monks at the Saint Bernard Pass, a dangerous, snowy divide between Switzerland and Italy, bred them for hundreds of years—perhaps even as far back as 1695—to rescue travelers who got lost and buried in the snow. They traveled in pairs so that when they found a victim, one dog could dig them out and sit on them for warmth while the other headed back to the monastery for help. Which brings us to the second Saint Bernard on our list—Barry, who saved 40 people’s lives over the course of 12...
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posted by laura1233214
In 1966, the World Cup was being held in England which, to the English, was kind of a big deal. Maybe the reason they were taking it so seriously was because they had a feeling they might win—which they did—so you can imagine how bummed they were when the World Cup was stolen just four months before the matches started. There was a frenzy to find the cup and avoid international embarrassment, and it was eventually found by a plucky collie named Pickles. Pickles was being walked by his owner when he sniffed something out in the bushes—what Pickles had found was the missing World Cup.In...
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posted by laura1233214
Just one look at Bud Nelson is enough to tell you that he was the greatest dog who ever lived. He’s an old-timey dog wearing goggles in a scratchy black-and-white photo—if he hadn’t existed, he would have been dreamed up for a steampunk novel or Bioshock game. The human in the photo is Bud Nelson’s owner, a doctor called Horatio Nelson. Horatio was the first man to cross America by car in the year 1903, with his hilariously named co-driver Sewall K. Crocker and, of course, Bud. That made Bud the first dog to cross the United States by car.At the time, the automobile was still in its...
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posted by NCISGIBBS
Sitka at the animal shelter
Sitka at the animal shelter
Today I got an adorable dog. She is a fully white husky named Sitka. Sadly, she has had a tragic life. She was a stray at birth. Someone picked her up, and found that her eye was severely damaged. So the anonymous person took her to the vet. The vet did surgery and took her eye out. The person took her and put her on the street again. She was a stray for quite awhile. Someone else picked her up and took her to the vet once again. They found out that she is heart worm positive. The person didn't give her the treatment and instead brought her to a pound. No one had adopted her, so they were going...
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posted by nikaitla
You will need
-------------

* peanut butter
* savoury dog treats
* hard cheese (i.e cheddar)
* yoghurt
* apple of banana or carrots
* home-made chicken stock


what to do
-------------

when you have to leave him/her home alone,keep your dog harmlessly entertained (and out of dustbin) by filling a hollow rubber toy with some treats. try some of these.....

1. layer the toy with peanut butter and a small savoury dog treats and freeze overnight.

2. plug the small hole with a peice of hard cheese , then fill the rubber kong with plain yoghurt and small chunks of apple and banana or carrot . freeze overnight.

3. plug the small hole with a peice of hard cheese , then stand at the kong in a cup or bowl and fill with home-made chicken stock and freeze overnight - this makes a low caloie ice lolly!


these fillings can be used in empty marrow bones too.
posted by NCISGIBBS
A few years back, some dedicated Animal Cops came upon a disturbing neglect case that took place in Texas. An animal owner tied their three dogs to a fence where they could not reach food or water. When the Animal Heroes came to the house, they found the three dogs tied up to the fence by a chain leash and were extremely emaciated. All of the dogs were puppies. They put 2 of the dogs in the car with food and water, but, sadly, as they came upon the third dog, they realized, help came to late for him. He had died because his owner kept the dogs outside in 108 degrees weather. They took the other...
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posted by kcano
my dog roscoe is a basset hound with 1 brown skin around the eye,black dots,brown dots and a pink spot on top of the nose dosent bark at all not fat and an eliphant but lol if u seen u would lol.spanky is a funny name but he is a surviver.he survived parvo.(a dog disese)and he is a rottrilier so thats all my dogs.my rats name is jerry.yes its from tom and jerry.thes a hooded rat,well my friend told me that,his head is black and he has black dots on him.he was my snakes food but she didnt eat him so hes r pet since he was a ratling.i have a snake thats named kristal and is a gray banded king snake(which is funny cuz my snakes a girl) anyways,thats all my pet.i had some dogs that died and coupil of iguanas some birds and some snakes 2 and a turtal named kc and a fish named kc also.thats all thx 4 reading if u liked it give me sime props plz thx
posted by 220340
people are so mean to dogs. lots of people kill dogs for meat. that is so cruel. people give dogs so little of food and not alot of space for them to run. people hang dogs till they are dead. that is mean! i love dogs and other people love then too! what do people think they are when they kill dogs!?! it is just so mean and cruel! who knows how many dogs people kill each day, mouths, and years! people should never never never kill a dog! it is just so mean and cruel! it should be a law that NO ONE can change! it should be PEOPLE SHOULD NEVER KILL ANY ANIAMAL! CATS, DOGS, FISH, WE SHAW NEVER KILL THEM! and if someone kills any aniamal, they should get arrested! i hate to see dogs die, or any animal die. it is sad, mean, and cruel to kill dogs! people should stop it right away! also people make them aggressive before thay kill them! SO MEAN!
cute and furry never kill them
cute and furry never kill them
posted by sarahplove
This is a picspam I created featuring my 20 favourite dog breeds.




20.Shiba Inu

19.Newfoundland

18.English Bulldog

17.Labrador

16.Alaskan Malamute

15.Akita

14.Shar-Pei

13.Siberian Husky

12.German Shepherd

11.Saluki

10.St. Bernard

9.Chihuahua

8.Borzoi

7.Dogue De Bordeaux

6.Irish Wolfhound

5.Boxer

4.Great Dane

3.Greyhound

2.Bullmastiff

1.Rottweiler
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posted by Katreader
If you're considering adding a dog to your family, please consider adopting one from a shelter. I found the following story written by Janine Allen and thought it very important to share. The following was written by Janine Allen, not me.

Her eyes met mine as she walked down the corridor peering apprehensively into the kennels. I felt her need instantly and knew I had to help her.

I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she wouldn't be afraid. As she read my kennel card I hoped that she wouldn't feel sad about my past. I only have the future to look forward to and want to make a difference...
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posted by adavila
he looks like this only sadder
he looks like this only sadder
NOOOOOO my dog is very sick he hasn´t been eating since this morning and he vomited like 4 times so I took him to the vet the first time he vomited and he told me not to give him water nor food for 24 hours but he looks very very thirsty. The vet also told me to give him some medicine but the last pill my dog threw it up I´m very worried because my dog is like very cool and his like my companion you know I dont want him to die from dyhidration darn I have to wait until tomorrow to see what happens darn it
posted by laura1233214
Rolf was either the smartest dog in history or the center of a scam that fooled a nation—specifically Nazi Germany. Either way, then, he was pretty awesome. According to the Nazis, Rolf could talk. To put this into context, the Nazis backed a lot of hair-brained schemes during World War II, and one of the most hair-brained was trying to train an army of super-intelligent dogs to share their ideals.The smartest of these “super dogs” was Rolf. Apparently, Rolf was able to talk by tapping his paw against a board and using a sort of special dog Morse code to communicate with humans. It was...
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posted by laura1233214
In the 1860s, two stray dogs called Bummer and Lazarus were given the run of the city of San Francisco at a time when any other stray dog would have been rounded up and thrown in the pound. But Bummer and Lazarus were different—they were celebrities. The newspapers of the day reported their doggy exploits as if they were Posh and Becks or Brad and Angelina. If they got into a fight with rival dogs, the papers often printed an exaggerated account of it the next day, complete with eyewitness testimony and a dramatized cartoon of the event. Even Mark Twain took time out from working on Huckleberry...
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posted by laura1233214
Bob was born in South Australia in 1882, and for some reason he loved trains. He spent the early years of his life as a stray, following railway workers to work, until he was rounded up by a dogcatcher. It looked as if he was destined for the pound, but luckily for Bob he was bought by a kindly station guard who’d taken a liking to him. It worked out well, as his new master allowed him to ride the train with him in the guard’s van every day. But, eventually, his master got a promotion and he and Bob parted ways. Then Bob started to jump trains alone.Bob traveled up and down Southern Australia,...
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posted by laura1233214
Swansea Jack was a black retriever who lived with his owner William Thomas near the River Tawe in Swansea, Wales, during the 1930s. One day, Jack saw a small boy drowning in the river and ran in, pulling the boy to shore by the scruff of his neck. There was no one around to see it, and had circumstances been different, the boy would probably have spent the rest of his life telling the story to people who would never believe him. But Jack wasn’t done. Within a few weeks, Jack rescued another swimmer, this time with witnesses in attendance. And then another. And another. And so on. Over the...
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Dogs are abused every single day, why you may ask? Because most dog owners are evil adults who think they can get a dog to do whatever they want the dog to do. Well, i'm here to say that that we need to stop dog bullying! Dogs get abused over 71%! Don't you think that this is wrong? because i do. Dogs are not slaves, they are like us, free to do whatever they want (except going potty in the house of course) So we need to stop being mean to our beloved animals and treat them like friends. In our store called dog ......., some of the dogs are actually scared with the humans becuase they think they are going to get hit like the previous owner, but with our kind and loving employees they know that they will get loved and they become happy. we need to start filling this word with Happy dogs!!! give a big thumbs up and leave a comment below if you agree with this article!

(if you have a different option than go ahead and share it with us! i love hearing other's options in stories.)
There are many reasons why people abandon their dogs. Generally, it is not the dog's fault and often the decision to take a dog to an animal shelter is based not on emotion but on convenience. It is representative of a society lacking strong values--everything is disposable, including pets. People are encouraged to use excuses for their own behavior--it always is someone else's fault. In this case, it's the dog's fault!

Having a dog is a commitment to that animal for 10-15 years and should be a well thought out family decision based on a thorough investigation of the breed and breeder. Most...
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posted by RobinFan360
My name is Ace.
I used to be your dog.
I just wanted to tell you how I felt over all those years.
You were my best friend. You always let me sleep with you, and we would go for walks everyday. I always loved it when you got me a new toy, and treats would come daily. When I chewed up your shiny thingy that played music, you just chuckled and gently, but firmly, told me not to do it again. You would always say,"Well he IS a puppy." and everything would be all right.
I would always know when I shouldn't do something again because when I got in trouble you would lightly hit me on the head. That's...
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