posted by MJ_Fan_4Life007
A/N: My sister and I made these up at the local pool. We like to pretend that Bernie Bernstein is the director and we're shooting the movies. Then we decided to take the movies we made up and put them in a fanfic. Enjoy!:)
One day, the Eds were walking down the street slurping jawbreakers when they ran into Bernie Bernstein, the director from the Powerpuff Girls.
Bernie: "Hi there!"
Eddy: "What do you want?"
Bernie: "I just wanted to let you know that I'm releasing a series of three movies to celebrate the Summer. They're called Screaming Nelly", "Surfin USA," and "My Cousin Goggles."
Eddy:(sarcastically)"Wow, I'll be sure to see them."
Ed: "Mike Sciosca!"
Bernie: "And guess what?"
Bernie: "You get to star in my new movies!"
The Eds faces lit up.
Edd: "Us? Star in three movies?"
Eddy: "Well it is about time. We are the most famous trio around."
Edd: "Except for the Powerpuff girls."
Eddy: "Shut up!"
Bernie: "Anyways I'll see you boys tomorrow in my studio!"
Bernie walked away.
Eddy: "Oh man, I just can't wait to see my name in lights!"
Edd: "I've been waiting all my life for this moment."
Ed: "I can show everyone that I can suck my foot!"
Eddy: "Oh Ed."
Ed: "Yes Eddy?"
Eddy: "Shut up!"
Later that night...................
The Eds were in Eddy's room.
Eddy: "This is great! We're going to make a lot of money!"
Ed: "We could buy pineapples to protect ourselves from the Insane Wagon Wheels from Montreal!"
Eddy: "Ed, we could use the money to buy jawbreakers."
Edd: "After these movies come out, I'll have more girlfriends than a man could have."
Eddy: "Oh, yeah. I can imagine it."
Eddy had an image of him and Ed running away from a crowd of girls who love Edd.
Edd: "Well, we better get some sleep. Our fame awaits us tomorrow."
Eddy: "Good idea. I'm getting tired anyway."
Ed: "We better get to sleep before the Time Squad and Milo Thatch hijack the Titanic and send Regis Philbin to Philadelphia in a box of rats!"
Eddy: "Shut up Ed."
Eddy and Ed went home and went to sleep. All three Eds dreamed of becoming stars that night.
The next day........................
Bernie: "All right everyone! Time for dress rehearsel!"
Things were pretty busy at Bernie Bernstein's studio. Mole was talking on a cellular phone and Vinnie was going over his script. Spongebob and Patrick were talking about the movie and Zim was trying to think of a way to invade the planet while GIR was being an idiot. Dib was keeping a watchful eye on Zim while Gaz was eating some pizza.
Eddy: "So Bernie, what movie are we going to do first?"
Bernie: "We're going to shoot "Screaming Nelly" first."
Edd: "What's it about?"
Bernie: "It's about a screaming shark that lives in the ocean."
Bernie: "All right, let's get ready for shooting!"
All of the cast and crew walked outside. They were going to shoot the movie underwater in the ocean.
Bernie: "Okay, boys. Here's the plan. First, you and a bunch of other people will be loaded into that submarine robot over there."
Bernie pointed at a huge robot that looked like one of the statues from Atlantis.
Bernie: "Then, the robot will dive underwater and you'll encounter Screaming Nelly. After she attacks, you'll release the sub pods and fight her back."
Edd: "Sounds excilirating!"
Bernie: "And finally, the pods will go into the closing gap that leads to an air chamber where me and the other guys will be."
Eddy: "Did you say a closing gap?"
Bernie: "Oh don't worry. You'll be safe."
Eddy: "All right then! Let's do it!"
The Eds put on some army commander hats and Bernie and the filming crew were ready to start shooting.
Bernie: "Lights, camera, and action!"
The camera started rolling and the movie began. The movie started with a bunch of people loading the robot submarine. Commander Rourke from Atlantis was showing the Eds around the robot.
Commander Rourke: "As you see, every part of this robot is self controlled.Even the fingernails are controlled."
Rourke led the Eds to the cockpit where the eyes were.
Commander: "And this is the control room."
Eddy: "Makes me feel like I'm in a pair of goggles."
It was true. The vision from the robot's eyes was like how you'd see through a pair of goggles.
Ed: "This reminds me of the movie "Invasion of the Pee Wee Ants from Sector 9!"
Edd was looking at the controls.
Edd: "These seem pretty easy to operate."
Commander Rourke: "Good. I need to go now. You're in charge, so be careful!"
Rourke walked away.
Eddy: "Well, guess we better figure out how to control this thing."
Ed: "Can I mess with the controls Eddy?"
Ed randomly pushed some buttons and pulled some levers. The robot starting picking its nose and patting its ear. Some people who were inside the robot's head fell out of one of the ears when it happened. A guy who was piercing one of the ears noticed them fall out.
Piercer: "Wait! I still have to pierce it to the top!"
Then an alarm sounded off.
Eddy: "All right everyone! To your stations! Dive! Dive! Dive!"
Everyone frantically rushed to their stations as the robot submarine dove under the surface. The robot started swimming for while when it came across a screaming shark almost as big as the robot.
Eddy: "Whoa ho nelly! It's Screaming Nelly!"
The shark grabbed the robot with its fins and screamed in its face. Then it pushed the robot back.
Edd: "Oh dear!"
Eddy: "Fight him back!"
The robot tried to kick the shark. It just dodged the kick and rapped the robot with its tail.
Eddy: "That's it! Release sub pods!"
People were running everywhere to get to the sub pods. Doors all over the robot
opened to let all of the pods get out. Some of the pilots included Zim and GIR, the Time Squad, Mole and Vinnie, Spongebob and Patrick, Gaz, Dib, the Red Guy, and many of the soldiers.
In the Time Squad's sub.............
Otto: "Cool! This is the part where we get to destroy the giant shark!"
The Larry 3000 slapped Otto's hand.
The Larry: "Be quiet Otto!"
In Spongebob and Patrick's sub.................
Patrick: "Uh, Spongebob. How are we gonna get that shark?"
Spongebob: "We're gonna catch him with a net!"
Spongebob held a jellyfishing net above his head.
The shark easily wiped out most of the subs easily. Eddy was getting furious.
Eddy: "Fight the power!"
Edd made the robot try and punch the shark. The punch missed and the shark grabbed the arm and tossed the robot over. It then started to wap it real hard with its tail.
Eddy: "This is hopeless. We better get to the last sub pod!"
Ed: "Tideo to that!"
Edd: "Quick! This way!"
The Eds ran down the tunnel to get to the last pod. They were almost there when Ed noticed a fried chicken laying on the ground.
Ed ran up to the fried chicken and hugged it.
Eddy: "Ed! Hurry up!"
Then the Eds noticed a wave of water coming at them that had come through some big holes in the arm.
Ed: "Oh no!"
Eddy: "Quick Ed! Hurry!"
Ed ran with Edd and Eddy down the tunnel with the fried chicken in his arms. They got into a room where the last pod was. They got in it and took off.
Eddy: "Whew, that was close!"
The Eds' sub pod sped away as Screaming Nelly destroyed the robot submarine behind them. The remaning sub pods were heading torwards the closing rock gap.
In Zim and GIR's pod...........
GIR: "We're going through the gap!"
The pods just barely squeezed into the gap and got away from Screaming Nelly. Some of the pods were crushed by the closing walls however.
Edd: "Oh dear!"
Eddy: "Hold on boys!"
Ed: "Final Fantasy!"
Eddy pulled back on the controls as the sub went faster than ever.
Eddy: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JAMES, STOP THIS CRAZY THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The closing walls scraped off a couple of the pod's engines and it went spinning out of control. It just barely got away from being crushed by the walls and landed in a small air chamber where Bernie and the filming crew were. Only The Eds, GIR, Zim, Gaz, Spongebob, Patrick, Mole, Vinnie, Dib, and the Red Guy made it through.
Bernie: "All right! That's a wrap!"
All of the camera men and workers started packing the equipment up while the remaning sub steerers got out of their pods.
Eddy: "Uh, Bernie, was that a real shark that attacked us?"
Bernie: "As a matter of fact, it was! And it was a female shark!"
Eddy: "You mean we were being attacked by a girl shark?"
Bernie: "All right folks! Time to get ready for the next movie!"
Everyone left the air chamber and went back to the studio.
A few hours later...................
Bernie: "Okay everyone! Take your places!"
Everyone was getting ready for the shooting of the next movie. They were outside on the beach again and the Eds were getting ready for their big scene. Bernie walked over to them.
Bernie: "Okay boys, the next movie we're doing is "Surfin' USA, and you're the star Double D."
Edd: "Me? The star? Why that's wonderful!"
Bernie: "Why yes it is! Anyways, in the first scene, you're going to run torwards the ocean when you notice Blossom over there."
Bernie pointed to Blossom, who was wearing a bikini. Blossom waved at Edd. Edd just smiled.
Bernie: "Then you're going to paddle out on your surfboard and surf. Then you fall off and float on your stomach, and that's it."
Edd: "You mean al I do is look at Blossom, paddle out, surf, fall off, float on my belly, and that's it?"
Edd: "Well it seems kind of short."
Bernie: "The shorter the better! Besides, it's going to make you big!"
Bernie: "All right then! Let's get ready to film!"
Bernie walked over to the filming crew.
Bernie: "Lights! Camera! Action!"
The movie started with Edd running torwards the water. He turned around and noticed Ed and Eddy with Blossom.
Blossom: "Hi Double D!"
Edd blushed and smiled.
Edd: "She's hot! I'm gonna surf to get her attention."
Edd got on his board and paddled out on the water.
Eddy: "Go get 'em tiger!"
Ed: "Touch 'em all Kirby Puckett!"
Then a wave came. Edd stood up on his board and started surfing. Then after a few seconds he fell off and floated on his belly.
Bernie: "That's a wrap!"
Once again, the filming crew started packing up the equipment again. Edd walked out of the water hunched over because of a bad back.
Edd: "Uh, Bernie."
Edd: "I don't think I'm in good physical condition for acting right now."
Bernie: "You can't give up now! Besides, there's only one movie left to film!"
Bernie walked over to the place where the final movie was to be filmed.
Bernie: "Oh, and Double D, I need you to be in the last movie."
Edd moaned. Eddy and Ed came up.
Eddy: "What happened?"
Edd: "I threw out my back and Bernie still wants me to be the star!"
Eddy: "I know how you feel."
Ed: "I feel it every time I go to the bathroom!"
Eddy and Edd stared at Ed.
Edd: "Before Ed fills my mind with more disturbing images, again, We'd better get ready for the movie!"
Edd set his back straight and the Eds went back into the studio. An hour later, they were dressed in orderly tuxedos. Bernie and the crew had set up the cameras and microphones in th e backyard of a mansion. There was also a pool in the backyard. Bernie was showing the Eds around the mansion.
Eddy: "This is a pretty nice place!"
Ed: "My place is the cat's tuxedo!"
Bernie: "By the way, a couple of kids from your neighborhood will star in this movie too!"
Eddy: "Really? Who?"
Bernie stepped aside. Nazz and Kevin stood in front of them!
Kevin: "Hi dorks! Ready to make some movie magic?"
Bernie grabbed a loudspeaker.
Bernie: "All right everyone! Listen up!"
Everyone turned torwards Bernie.
Bernie: "In the first scene of this movie, you're all going to be celebrating the wedding of Nazz and Kevin."
Eddy:(whispering to Edd)"Who'd want to celebrate that?"
Bernie: "Then in the next scene, Jonny's going to run up to Double D and tell him that Cousin Goggles commited suicide. Double D will run out to the pool, jump in, and save Cousin Goggles."
Edd: "Well that's seems pretty easy."
Bernie: "Oh yeah, and you're going to be chased by a shark."
Edd: "A SHARK?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Bernie: "Well you have to make some sacrifices!"
Bernie: "Lights! Camera! Action!"
The movie started with everyone at a reception party. Ed was talking to Bubbles, Eddy was talking to Buttercup,Edd was talking to Blossom, and everybody was having a good time. Then Jonny and Plank ran up to Edd.
Narraotor: "Ah, isn't this nice? Everyone's enjoying the reception party and are having a good time. Nothing can go wrong!"
Jonny: "Double D! Double D!"
Edd: "What is it Jonny?"
Jonny: "Cousin Goggles commited suicide!"
Edd: "Oh no!"
Edd ran out to the pool and saw a pair of goggles floating around in the pool.
Edd: "Don't worry cousin goggles! I'll save you!"
Edd dived into the pool and swam over to the goggles.
Bernie: "Okay! Release the shark!"
One of the men opened a cage and let a shark out. It swam over to Edd just as he grabbed the pair of goggles.
Edd: "Don't worry I've got you now!"
Edd turned around and saw the shark swimming torwards him. He put the goggles on his head and swam as fast as he could to the steps of the pool. The shark approached him.
Edd: "Please don't hurt me! Oh the inhumanity!"
The shark just lightly bounced against him.
Edd noticed a tag on the shark. It said "Stupid Works" on it.
Edd: "Why this is nothing but an inflatable shark."
Edd: "That's it! You're going to show a movie of me being chased by an inflatable shark?"
Bernie: "Actually that was the dress rehearsel. We're going to shoot it again and this time you're going to be chased by a real shark!"
Edd: "A.......real, shark?"
Bernie: "Yes! Anyways, you just stand by the pool until we tell you to jump in."
Edd: "Okay then."
Bernie took the current roll of film out of the camera and put in another.
Bernie: "Okay let's get ready to start!"
Bernie sat in his chair.
Bright lights flashed in Edd's eyes.
A guy steering a camera on a little track spun around Edd.
Bernie: "And, action!"
A guy punched Edd in the eye and gave him him a black eye.
Edd dived into the pool and swam over to the goggles, again.
Bernie: "Okay! Release the real shark!"
This time, a man opened a cage and a real Great White shark swam out!
The shark ate Edd and spat him out. Edd just floated on the water.
Narrator: "Poor Double D. He risked his life for his Cousin Goggles."
Then the shark ate the pair of goggles.
Narraotor: "Well, maybe not."
Edd got out of the pool. He was panting for air.
Bernie: "All right boys you can go home now."
Edd: "What do you mean?"
Bernie: "That's it! We're done shooting all three movies!"
Eddy: "We are?"
Eddy leapt ten feet in the air.
Ed: "Be careful not to expose your fibula to harmful chemicals Eddy!"
Eddy: "Shut up Ed."
Edd: "I'm just glad it's over."
Eddy: "Me too. I was thinking that would never end."
Ed: "Just like when Sarah forced me to watch 8 hours of "The Pretty Pony Girls!"
The Eds went home tired, pooped, and exhausted. They couldn't have been more happy to go to bed.
Later that friday, the movie premiered. People from all over the U.S. had come to see the movie. Even all of the most popular critics like Roger Ebert were there. Tickets were sold out. The Eds and Bernie Bernstein came to the theater in a limo. A red carpet rolled as the door swung open and the Eds nd Bernie came out. As soon as they stepped out a swarm of reporters surrounded them with cameras flashing notes being written.
Reporter: "Of the three movies you shot, which one did they like the best?"
Bernie: "Well they seemed to like them all, but I'd have to say they loved "Screaming Nelly" the most."
Eddy: "What are you talking about? That was just a corny Atlantis ripoff. It almost got us killed! And I didn't enjoy a single one of those movies at all!"
Bernie: "Okay now, the adults are doing the talking here."
Eddy folded his arms and frowned.
Over near the box office, the whole Atlantis crew had come to see the movie too. Mole, however, was up to no good. When he noticed Tommy Lasorda walking by, he took a stick of dynamite out of Vinnie's back pocket and threw it at Lasorda's feet, knocking him over.
Atlantis crew: "MOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Mole: "I could not resist!"
Kida walked up to Mole and started punching him.
Joshua Sweet: "That's right, keep punching him and give him a good kick too."
Audrey: "Don't forget that!"
Kida punched Mole into the box office. The person inside it turned around and revealed to be none other than Mr. T! Mr. T picked Mole up by his neck.
Mr. T: "Pity the fool who hurts Tommy Lasorda!"
Mole: "Please don't hurt me!"
Mole started cryin.
Mr. T: "All right, I'll let you off. But not that easily!"
Mr. T poured milk all over Mole's head and pushed away, sending him spinning into a movie poster.
Edd and Eddy walked over to Tommy Lasorda and helped him up.
Edd: "Are you all right Mr. Lasorda?"
Tommy: "I'm fine."
Eddy: "Whew! Thank goodness that explosion didn't hurt you! I think Mole gets the point now."
Milo pulled Mole's head out of the poster.
Milo: "Hope you learned your lesson."
Mole: "Oh, I did!"
Then "One More Time" by Daft Punk started playing.
Kevin: "Why does Marshall put this stupid song in all of the fanfics?"
Nazz: "Because he likes it! And so do I!"
Nazz started dancing.
Up in a radar tower, three guys were watching the commotion in front of the theater. They were rocking their heads to "One More Time." However, on a screen behind them, a red dot appeared. The red dot was an unidentified ship that was shaped like a potato high in the sky. Inside it was the terrible, the unspeakable, the dreaded, the moldy Rotten Potato. He had also brought Bo Stupid and his Farfetch'd, Mr. Maverick, and his army of evil potatoes. He was watching the theater commotion on an even BIGGER screen. Bo Stupid, his Farfetch'd, and Mr. Maverick were sitting in chairs behind him. Bo was drinking a Corona and Mr. Maverick was twirling a Dallas Mavericks basketball. One of the potato soldiers walked in.
Potato soldier: "Uh, sir, shall we descend upon the theater?"
Rotten Potato: "Yes, and get the army ready, yuppers."
Potato soldier: "All right sir!"
The potato walked away.
Bo: "So, how are we going to harras those little monsters?"
Mr. Maverick: "Will we throw basketballs at them?"
Rotten Potato: "No, we will simply see the three movies they starred in."
Bo: "How are we going to bother them by doing that?"
Bo sipped his Corona.
Rotten Potato: "I can tell these movies are going to be bad. When the movies are over, we can harras them for eternity!"
Bo, Mr. Maverick, Farfetch'd, and the Rotten Potato laughed in a sinister way.
Mr. Maverick: "Michael Finley!"
Bo slapped Mr. Maverick.
Mr. Maverick: "Ow!"
Bo: "Shut up!"
Quickly, the ship aimed at the theater and flew down torwards the ground at full speed. GIR was having a lively chat with a squirrel in the middle of the street.
Squireel: "Cheep! Cheep!"
GIR: "I like squirrels!"
Zim noticed the potato ship was about to land on GIR.
Zim: "GIR look out!"
Zim dove and pushed GIR out of the way just as the potato ship landed.
Zim: "GIR you could have been killed!"
GIR: "Thank you!"
Everyone gathered around the potato ship. A large door opened.
Edd: "Oh no!"
Eddy: "Please don't tell me it is who I think it is!"
Ed: "Chipper Jones?"
The Rotten Potato, Bo Stupid, Mr. Maverick, Farfetch'd, and the potato army stepped out.
Eddy: "It's the Rotten Potato!"
Edd: "And Bo Stupid and Mr. Maverick too!"
Rotten Potato: "That's right! I've come to see how stupid you're gonna look in these movies!"
Eddy: "You just wait and see. We're going to be stars!"
Eddy flexed one of his muscles. Bo touched it with a pin and it deflated.
Bo: "Ha! You'll only be famous for being losers!"
Eddy: "Wanna bet?"
Announcer: "Attention! "Screaming Nelly", "My Cousin Goggles", and "Surfin'USA" will begin in five minutes!"
Eddy: "It's about time already! I've been waiting an hour!"
Everyone went inside the theater. Ed walked over to the conncession stand.
Eddy: "Where are you going Ed?"
Ed: "I'm just going to get some snacks!"
Edd sighted Casey Adelman, Kate, Sabrina, Sheila, Megan, Double M, Little Tumptin, and all of Double D's girlfriends were there.
Edd:(sighs dreamily)"All of my girlfriends are here. I sure hope I don't look too silly in the movies."
Eddy: "I'm sure you'll be just fine."
Everyone went into the place where they were showing "Screaming Nelly","Surfin' USA", and "My Cousin Goggles". Even after everyone was seated, Ed still hadn't come back.
Eddy: "I wonder where monobrow is."
Then Ed walked in. He was wearing a beer sipper helmet and was carrying 2 extra large buckets of popcorn, 6 candy bars, 2 of which were in his armpits, 4 sodas, and 5 boxes of chewy fruit snacks.
Eddy: "Ed, you are sick."
Ed: "Thank you!"
Ed took his seat.
Voice: "Hello boys!"
The Eds turned and saw the Kankers sitting at the end of the front row.
Lee: "We can't wait for your movie debut boys!"
Eddy: "I can't wait to get away from you."
Blossom sat down next to Edd.
Blossom: "I'm so excited for the movies to start I can barely wait!"
Edd started to sweat. Then the movie started. The first movie that was shown was "My Cousin Goggles". At the part when Edd was being chased by the shark, Bo Stupid, the Rotten Potato, Mr. Maverick, and Farfech'd started laughing.
Bo, Mr. Maverick, the Rotten Potato, and Farfetch'd stopped laughing. After "My Cousin Goggles Ended", they showed "Surfin' USA". Everything went pretty well until the end when Blossom started laughing.
Edd: "What's so funny?"
Blossom pointed at the screen. It showed a surfboard floating on the ocean with Edd's hat on it. Then a shark came up and ate the hat. It turned out Edd's hair had just been shaped like his hat the whole time!
Edd: "Oh dear."
Everybody laughed out loud. Edd sunk into his chair. Everybody eventually stopped laughing. The final movie that was shown was "Screaming Nelly". The critics wrote their reviews and shook their heads. After the movie ended,Bernie stood up.
Bernie: "Well, what did you think?"
The critics looked at each other with confused faces.
Roger Ebert: "Those movies were ridiculous!"
Eustace Bad: "That was a bunch of hallabaloo!"
Goku: "That was stupid! I mean, a movie of somebody rescuing a pair of goggles? That's got to be the most retarded thing I've ever heard of!"
Cat: "I can't believe you talked me into seeing these horrible movies Dog!"
Dog: "What are you talking about? Those were great!"
Everyone stared at Dog. Then they started booing and threw garbage at Bernie Bernstein.
Eddy: "Our movie career is over."
Edd: "You said it."
Ed: "I wish people would not say that my head is stuffed with straw instead brains!"
Then everybody chased the Eds and Bernie out of the theater and into the street.
Eddy: "I hope someday I will forget this ever happened."
One night the Eds were stuck in Jonny's wall telling him a story again. As soon as Jonny went to sleep, the Kankers came in.
Eddy: "Oh no."
Lee: "What are three handsome movie stars like you doing in a place like this?"
Eddy: "Don't remind me. Those movies were awful!"
Lee: "No they weren't. We loved them! And we love you even more."
All of a sudden, the Kankers disappeared.
Eddy: "Where'd they go?"
Ed: "Um, my underwear's riding high guys!"
Ed was pulled away by May.
Eddy: "Not again!"
Eddy was pulled away by Lee.
Edd: "Please! Don't take me!"
Edd was pulled away by Marie.
Only the giggling of the Kankers could be heard.