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posted by Hades332
Family Guy Script
Episode: ###
Stewie Quagmire
Summary: When Stewie gets a cold, Lois is forced to take him to the doctor, where his birth certificate shows up, revealing that he’s Quagmire’s son.

Key: ( ) = location
{ } = info
[ ] = Action
/ = commercial break
(Griffin house)
(Living Room)

[Family sitting on couch watching TV]

Dianne Simpsons: In local news the, a cold academic has swept through Quahog.
Tom Tucker: Well, Dianne I’m not sure if it’s an academic. It’s just a cold.
Dianne: Do you really have to contradict everything I say?
Tom: I’m just saying, it happens once a year, it’s...
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posted by bratzdolly11
Peter: What the hell is he talking about?
Englishman: Oh, it’s Cricket. Marvelous game, really. You see, the bowler hurls the ball toward the batter who tries to play away a fine leg. He endeavors to score by dashing between the creases, provided the wicket keeper hasn’t whipped his bails off, of course.
Peter: Anybody get that?
Cleveland: The only British idiom I know is that “fag” means “cigarette.”
Peter: Well, someone tell this “cigarette” to shut up.
-Family Guy
Tonight there’s a new reality show on Fox: “Fast Animals, Slow Children.”
-Peter Griffin
When I stick this...
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posted by Mingsunchao1824
Look Meg's my 3rd favorite character in the show after Peter and Stewie. However, her fanbase on websites such as DeviantArt.com and fanfiction.net has gotten way out of control for the past decade and so on. I'm really starting to dislike her because of her overrated fanbase. It's way too toxic. The Meg bashing has died down over the years but the hate art and revenge fanfics of her killing her family has gotten worse to the point of me to almost not care for hér presence on the show anymore. The Meg bashing wasn't as bad as her fans made it out to be. Yes the infamous episode that everyone...
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• Third dimensional qualities – Emotions, thoughts, attitudes and spirituality.
• Fourth dimensional qualities – Time. Their past history, the present and the future. The writers seriously need to fix everything on the show and reinvent the character's growth in development. Seth should get rid of all the worst writers on the show and hire new writers with updated storytelling and quality structure. The characters deserves original elements and arcs in the show. He needs to fix every single flaw 100% of his content. Serializing the show would be refreshing change. The writers need to...
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posted by Mingsunchao1824
This is one of my newest fan fiction stories about redeeming Peter and Meg's relationship. The synopsis is about Peter Griffin tries his hardest to help his daughter fight against her hatred towards her awful fanbase which concerns her father who goes through massive amounts of character development and continuity arcs of rebuilding his role as a father with his children especially Meg. Meanwhile the rabid Meg fans go out of their ways to destroy Peter Griffin while Meg creates her own anti fandom against them. What will happen? Will Peter Griffin redeem himself as a person, will Meg get revenge on her own fandom who gave her a bad name, or will the Meg fans kill them both? Find out and enjoy.
link Review by Connie Norberg

Surprises come in small packages when Brian does not receive his invitation to his ex-girlfriend, Jillian’s wedding. In fact, the entire Griffin Family receives an invite to her wedding including the extra invite for a B. Ryan who happened to be staying at the Griffin’s house for a few weeks. This sends Brian in a downward spiral in denial. So Stewie offers Brian a lunch date to meet Jillian’s fiancé, Derrick. This is where Brian ultimately discovers he is no match for the new man in Jillian’s life. He seemed rather competitive when her fiancé read the...
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The fanbase: Like any long running tv show Family Guy's fans are very unpleasable because the older fans over praise the first 3 seasons while the newer fans praise the later seasons while both sides bash each of Family Guy's season eras.

The characters: I love all the characters despite their drastic over the top character flaws and dynamic changes, but most of the fans have a hard time accepting those changes because they feel that all the characters should've remained the same since the late 90s based on overrated nostalgia.

The plots and cutaways: Alot of people always say that the cutaway...
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posted by Courtneyfan6
Goodmorning
Goodmorning
[Joe is at the Griffins' house, making his friends dance with hip. Cleveland is on the piano]
Joe: All right, we're gonna do it once more! [everyone moans in agony] And this time, NO MISTAKES! ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!
[Cleveland begins playing, while Peter, Joe and Quagmire dance]
Peter, Joe, and Quagmire: Good mornin', good mornin'!
Cleveland: It's great to stay up late!
Peter, Joe, and Quagmire: Good mornin', good mornin', to you!
[Joe sits on Quagmires lap as Peter continues dancing]
Peter: When the band, begins to play, The stars were shinin' bright!
Quagmire: But now the milkman's on his way,...
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posted by Courtney370
The Day All Began With Chris Waking Up In The Morning With His Alarm Clock Beeping. Beep! Beep! Beep! Chris Get Up Out Of Your Bed and Turn That Alarm Clock Off!! Said Peter As He Was In The Bed With Lois. Ok Dad! Said Chris. Chris Got Out Of His Bed and Went To The Living Room To Play Videos Games All Day. *In Meg's Room. Oh Meg Wake Up. Said Peter As He Put His Butt In Meg's Face Getting Ready To Let Out A Big Fart. What Dad? Today Is Saturday and We Don't Have To Go To School Today For Five Weeks. Said Meg. Yeah But Do You Know What Today Is? Said Peter. What? Said Meg. Fart Day!! Said Peter...
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posted by Robssesed
Peter: But there is one thing, Mickey, you knocked up my Mom and never called her again.
Mickey: Yeah, so what?

Peter: So what!? So let's dance!

Oh, he doesn't smell like Irish Spring,

And he never taught me anything,

But still I slap my chest and sing...

Of My Drunken Irish Dad.

Oh, his face looks like a railroad map,

And he never shuts his freakin' trap...

Mickey: But all the ladies catch the clap

From your Drunken Irish Dad.

Peter: Ask a Hennessey, Tennessey, Morrison, Shaughnessy, Riordan, and Rooney...

They'll tell you the same

McNulty, Mulrooney, and Carter and Clooney

All feel the same mixture of...
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What is the deal with the character from Family guy Stewie? Obviously he is a baby. A very intelligent and diabolical baby. This television program has raised more than a few questions, and supplied limited answers not to mention, quite a bit of controversy.

OK, we all saw the episode where Stewie turns a year old, so it is not a huge surprise that he speaks (even though he sounds more like a thirty year old), but why does he have a British accent, when the family lives in Rhode Island, in the United states? Anyone who has heard a Rhode Island accent, or for that matter any New England accent...
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Peter goes back to the year 1984 once again and reinvents his entire past, present, future, and indentity into a smarter, darker vengeful murderous anti-hero of justice plotting his revenge towards the Family Guy writers for nearly blinding his edge in the 17th season long arc full of self reconstruction, hatred, redemption, honesty, mass homicide, realistic background storytelling, and awesome character development. Karen, Mickey, Francis, and Thelma will be an epic family team who are seeking retribution for the writers actions in this action-packed psychological sociological adventure to redeem the show's name. It will one hell of an explosive season in 3D anime.
posted by Mingsunchao1824
Stewie goes back in time and works with his former self and conquer the entire universe. Meanwhile the rest of the Griffins meet their former selves and try to stop the 2 diabolical baby duo and save the universe. It'll be a long overdue sequel to the first Family Guy film. It will be three-dimensional, super clever, and edgier than ever. Epic fight scenes, intense interactions with both versions of every character on the show, and Stewie becoming his old self again as well as everyone else. Voice actors will bring the lost nostalgia from the old days of Family Guy lIke Norm McDonald, Lori Alan, Drew Barrymore, and Carlos Alazraqui. The subjective humor, heartwarming plot, and decent redeemable qualities the characters almost lost.
posted by Robssesed
Peter: Mr Booze
Audience: Mr Booze

Peter: Mr Booze

Mr B Double O Z E

Brian & Bruce: That sure spells booze

Peter: You will wind up wearing tattered shoes, if you mess with Mr. Booze

Brian & Bruce: Don't mess with Mr. Booze

Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze

Peter: Don't mess with Mr. B-Double O-Z-E

If you been so stiff they thought you died

You'll feel better once you've testified

Audience: Testify

Bruce: Oh yeah!

Audience: Testify

Audience: Testify

Bruce: I wanna testify, I wanna testify!

Peter: Well then cleanse yourself my son, cleanse yourself!

Bruce: One time I took a library book out and I fells...
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Season 2 - disc 1

1: Da Boom
2: Brian In Love
3: I am Peter, Hear me Roar
4: A picture is worth 1000 bucks
5: Fifteen minutes of Shame
6: Road to Rhode Island
7: Lets go to the Hop
8: Dammit Janet!

Season 2 - disc 2

9: There's Something About Paulie
10: He's Too Sexy For His Fat
11: E. Peterbus Unum
12: The Story On Page One
13: Wasted Talent
14: Fore Father
15: When you wish upon a weinstien


Season 3 - disc 1

1: The Thin White Line
2: Brian Does Hollywood
3: Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington
4: One If by Clam, Two if by Sea
5: And the Wiener is...
6: Death Lives
7: Lethal Weapons

Season 3 - disc 2

8: The Kiss seen Around...
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For the past few years Peter's been getting a massive amount of hatred especially from the Meg fans which became completely toxic. Peter deserves better stronger elements of four dimensional character development like emotional back stories, long term continuity, and massive amounts of redemption arcs to rehumanize his character. The Meg fans have gone too far with the massive hatedom against Peter. Peter needs to escape from the scrappy heap of hell from that hideous fandom. It's disgusting. The writers seriously should reinvent his character into something more unique and sophisticated than he ever was. He deserves the ultimate likable traits of rebuilding and fixing his image in a positive light. The show needs to follow the rescued from the scrappy heap trope with complex, inoffensive, and serialized. He needs more nuance personalities and become beloved again.
Did you noticed that? Here is my "philosophical" interpretation of this magnificent cartoon.
Peter is "Carefree", loves to have fun in the pub, outlandish business with friends, not thinking of anything problematic, good food and resting on the couch watching TV.But he's also "Authority",at the end all revolves around what he does. And when it comes to family and friends, is more than ready to lend a hand, sometimes with incredible steadfastness and affection.
Lois is "Responsibility",is a more attentive parent than Peter, strives to understand the children even when the views are divergent....
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posted by BrianGsBrother
Peter:Oh Yeah,I Know All About The F-C-C!()=not part of the song)
Bum Buh Dum Dum Duh
Peter:They Will Clean Up All Your Taking In A Menace Such As This-
Brian:They Will Make You Take A Tinkle When You Wanna Take A Piss
Stewie:And They'll Make You Call Follachio(i dont know what that is)A Trouser Friendly Kiss!
All:Its The Plain Situation! There's No Negotiation! Peter:With The Fellas At the Freakin' FCC!
Brian:There As Stuffy As The Stuffiest Of Speical Intrest Groups
Peter:Make A Joke About Your Bouls And They'll Order In The Troops!
Stewie:Any Baby With A Brain Could Tell Them Everybody Poops!
All:Take...
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posted by Mingsunchao1824
Lately Brian has been hated on for a while now that people want him dead again. If the writers want Brian dead again they should go for it again because his storylines are the weakest out of all the main and recurring characters in the show. Personally I feel like the writers need to replace Brian with another dog like they did 4 years ago. Brian either needs a season long plot of reconstructing his personality or slowly die in a hilarious way. I really don't mind if he dies again. Peter and Stewie make Family Guy better with or without Brian anyway. Brian is just trash now. I don't find him interesting anymore. His characteristics aren't exciting at all. It's time to bury the dog alive. What do you guys think?
posted by Mingsunchao1824
This story is the Griffins and friends confronting and comforting Mr Enter through this awesome admirable animation fanfic. It'll have more complex cohesive story lines and four-dimensional character arcs to re-humanize every Family Guy character that has been demonized over the years online and Mr. Enter by rescuing them from the scrappy heap of the infamous internet hell. Hopefully the war between Mr. Enter and Family Guy ends already. The whole war with the cartoon community has gotten out of hand needs to stop with harassing, insulting, and making people feel worse about cartoons that they like to enjoy.