Surprises come in small packages when Brian does not receive his invitation to his ex-girlfriend, Jillian’s wedding. In fact, the entire Griffin Family receives an invite to her wedding including the extra invite for a B. Ryan who happened to be staying at the Griffin’s house for a few weeks. This sends Brian in a downward spiral in denial. So Stewie offers Brian a lunch date to meet Jillian’s fiancé, Derrick. This is where Brian ultimately discovers he is no match for the new man in Jillian’s life. He seemed rather competitive when her fiancé read the menu in perfect French and caught the waiters’ wineglasses in mid-fall. So Brian attempts to cease a most opportune moment to prove himself by deliberately tripping the waiter. But of course, he does not catch the wineglasses; instead he catches a stem of a glass and falls to the ground with the waiter and all broken glasses. Naturally the waiter had a prior surgery on his elbow and wasn’t even supposed to be in work that day (according to him) so “Mr. Wonderful” (Jillians’ fiancé) offers to pull a “Mr Miyagi” hand massage on the inflicted area and voila – heeled better than before. Once again, this puts himself up on top in Jillian’s eyes without even trying.
Now much to Brian’s dismayed attempts to be Jillian’s hero, he finds himself incorrigibly talking to a woman he has never met, later at a bar. She seemed to really take to his slurring speeches like, “Hey blondie, you wanna get together with my dog-wood?” So she giggles and replies, “You remind me of my step dad.” Then they kiss - another classic, disgusting moment of the great Family Guy.
The next morning, Brian awakes to find himself in bed with her and realizes who she is. She is none other than Lauren Conrad from the very familiar hit Television show, The Hills. Instead of showing any signs of happiness, he leans more towards embarrassment as he tries to leave before being noticed. But as he walks out of the hotel, he realizes that Stewie has spotted him – he was shopping for hats. Miss Conrad offers them to come along with her to her shoot, and Stewie blurts out, “Do you need a gay friend on the show – a friend?” With the Stewie’s attention and excitement, he can’t wait to go with Lauren to see where she works. Stewie decides to wear one of the hats to the shoot. This is definitely a come-out-of-the-closet look for him!
Brian later finds that the entire world now knows about him and Lauren as he sits down to dinner with the Griffin family. Meg perks up to show him the interview with a “concealed” witness (Stewie) admitting he had seen the two of them together. So Brian decided to break it off with Lauren and goes to her home to tell her in person. But when he gets there, he finds her playing Mozart’s violin concerto 1 in B Flat. She admits she reads a lot to him but, tries not to let her reading interfere with her Bimolecular Research. In fact, she offers to let him see what she did. She leads him to her version of Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan. Even including the infamous line, “Can I cook, or can’t I?” You’ve got to love the imagination that incorporates Family Guy with Star Trek.
Meanwhile, Jillian and Peter discuss how he will be giving her away at her wedding. So Peter offers to sing at her wedding and with her approval he insists, “Sweet, and I promise you’ll be able to understand all the words. Not like Sting, where you can only understand the last 3.”
Now that Brian seems to be hitting it off with Lauren, he invites her to dinner; only to find that Lois really does not like her. Lauren even corrects Brian at the dinner table with his wrong pronunciation of Monet. Later that evening, Brian comes to realize that Lauren is smarter than him and begins to feel like Jillian. But Lauren figures that he is still in love with her and insists he tell her. He agrees that he must be in love with Jillian still and proceeds to stop the wedding and let her know. But at the wedding, while he pleads with her, she tells him that she thought he was her “Soul train” but he didn’t want her. And she is in love with Derrick now. So he finds himself listening to Sting at the reception, talking to Stewie about his loss. Stewie tries to assure him he can still call Lauren, but it turns out that Brian has given her worms. How enchanting and creative of the writers at Family Guy; always leaving us wanting more of the distasteful endings.
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