Requested by: Sasha/Alphawhitewolf.
*Laughs* SERIOUSLY?! HAHAHA THAT WAS SO TERRIBLE! JESUS I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!!!!!
*Breathes* Seriously though guys, there is a saying, "Be careful what you wish for, because it just might come true."
I wasn't kidding, I am reviewing a Sonadow fan fiction. And since you guys liked seeing me in pain the last episode, (You sick bastards...)
Let's take a look at the Fanfiction called Faker.
While not as bad as the atrocity Creation Of A Dry Bones, this is one of those Fanfictions so bad it's hilarious.
Believe me though when I say it's miles better than the last one though.
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'LL GO EASY ON IT. *Grabs Napalm Flamethrower* IT'S TIME TO LOOK AT TOXIC FANFICS! Episode 2: Faker.
By the demented TRUEBLUETEAM, you can read it here. link
So without further delay, let's start. o___O
By the way, since the page won't copy and paste, I have to type this.
I will still leave the errors in, but that makes this review a lot harder to do.
"On the ARK, Shadow had invited Sonic to the ARK."
Who SAYS it like that? You don't say, "I am going to eat a banana because I like bananas."
Who says the same word twice in a sentence? What a Buko.
"To watch a movie."
So there is television on the Ark?.......
Alright T.V. in space. SCREW THE LAWS OF ELECTRICITY!
"The movie was all about killing, and it was Shadow's favorite movie."
BECAUSE OF COURSE IT WAS. How cliche, the cool guy likes action movies. BOO! *Throws Popcorn*
"Sonic and Shadow were wearing clothes. Sonic was wearing a Levi's logo T-Shirt, Levi's relaxed straight jeans big and tall."
How exhilarating! Sonic is wearing clothes, UNBELIEVABLE! I thought they'd be off already!
"Shadow was wearing pajamas since it was his place,"
SO THE GIGANTIC ARK BELONGS TO SHADOW. WOW THAT MAKES NO SENSE. We're off to a great start!
"He was wearing Stafford Woven Sleep Shorts and a tank white male tank top."
This is boring. And lame. Kind of like the writer is!
"They were both eating popcorn"
So Shadow has the Ark which apparently belongs to him, and is in space for a sleepover with a T.V. and popcorn!?
WHAT THE HELL!? Screw it, this Fanfiction is lazy and makes no sense. And it gets worse.
This is where the LLOOVVEE begins, ugh.
"And so Shadow and Sonic accidently-"
Accidently what? DON'T TELL ME.....THE WRITER WOULDN'T! HE WOULDN'T!
REALLY!??!?! SERIOUSLY!??!?!? THAT IS SO FUCKING CLICHE! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! UGH!
"And Shadow blushed, got hard, and moved hand away fast."
Wow, Shadow got hard from touching a males hand. WOW SHADOW, you have issues! And the writer has shitty grammar!
I SWEAR I DIDN'T EDIT THIS GUYS! Read the source, that's how he typed it. Moved hand away fast, WOW.
"Sonic: *Smirks* What's wrong? You don't like this popcorn?"
Maybe you burned it Sonic, you sick twisted gay evil bastard.
Oh wait, that's the writer, not you.
"Shadow: *Blushing real hard and was annoyed by that comment, then he poured the popcorn all over Sonic's head then walked off*"
Man Shadow, that was a waste of good popcorn!
Since your in space, I guess that means your out of food.
And don't even ask how Sonic got on the ark, IN SPACE, WITH A T.V, AND POPCORN.
"Sonic: Hey! Was it something I said?"
Maybe he really did burn the popcorn. It's fun to think about things like this in a Fanfiction. ^___^
"Shadow had got to his room, but forgot to lock the door."
OH SCREW ME THE SEX SCENE IS COMING.....I HATE YOU SASHA! (Not really. :D)
AND FROM HERE ON, "Some viewers may find this disturbing, viewer discretion advised."
"Shadow: Man, I'm such a loser! I can't get someone ever like him! And now I feel horny."
Good god. I am starting to wonder if this Fanfiction really IS as bad as Creation Of A Dry Bon-
"The throe of desperate passion gave the red turtle to strength for morally justified rape."
I take that back, how dare I say this stupid Fanfiction is worse than THAT atrocity.
"*Shadow goes in his closet, and gets his blue vibrating thrusting di**o and then pulled down his pants."
You know how in the newest Godzilla movie that one guy said that we were going to get sent back to the stone age?
WELL WE ALREADY ARE BECAUSE SATANIC PERVERTS KEEP ON MAKING BULLSHIT LIKE THIS.
"I hope no one eer finds out i have a crush on that faker."
GRAMMAR AND SPELLING DUDE! JESUS! And why do people make this crap?
What if hedgehogs made Fanfictions about us?
YOU WOULDN'T LIKE THAT WOULD YOU!?
Oh wait this writer is so perverted I think he would like to get fucked by a Black and
"Sonic was looking for shadow all over the ark"
The ark. In space. I will never let that go guys. POPCORN, TELEVISION, AND RAPE IN SPACE!
Just what I've always wanted!
"Sonic: Where is that faker? He can be such a bitch sometimes,"
I thought Shadow was supposed to be the one to say faker. And making sonic cuss only destroys my childhood even more.
"*Stopped from then noise and went to look for it*"
What is it with bad Fanfiction writers having bad grammar and spelling?
IT'S A CONSPIRACY!!!!!!
Are you ready to have your childhood ruined? Good.
Mine already was when I read Creation Of A Dry Bones.
"Being fuc*ed by the di**o on very fast, warm in his a**"
Be careful what you tell deathding to review, it just might come true. AND IT DID, I HOPE YOUR ARE READING THIS SASHA!
"Shadow: Oh yes! This is the ultimate satisfactory! Maria!"
Shadow never loved Maria you idiot, then again I am not expecting much from a perverted Fanfiction writer.
You were dead before you even wrote this TrueBlueTeam.
Go fuck yourself! Oh wait, I bet you already are! Because lord knows you'll never get a girlfriend, nobody will ever love you.
Nobody ever could, then when you find a job I hope they reject you.
I hope you get homeless writing this childhood destroying material!
How could you write this? How!? You deserve to be executed as slowly and painfully as possible.
I get that people write porn of everything, but CAN YOU AT LEAST throw in some good jokes, grammar, spelling, and references?
If you did I wouldn't want to burn you with my napalm flamethrower. >:(
"Shadow was on full on hard, gripping the bed moving feet and stuff blushing and drooling."
Chaos Control.....*Cries* What happened to Shadow? And once again, GRAMMAR!!!!!!!
"Sonic: Why settle from a fake **** when you can settle for a real one. *Smirks"
DADDY I'M SCARED!
"Shadow heard sonic's voice and blushed from head to toe. getting up taking the d**do out turning it off and covering is 5 inch p***s on hard"
Nothing I am not used to. Creation of a Dry Bones was 20 times worse.
I have to say writer, if you are trying to disgust me after I read that, you're losing your touch.
Here is where it gets creepy. So I will put this here.
*Some viewers may find this disturbing, (If the rest wasn't already...) Viewer discretion advised.
"*Grabs hold of shadows chin* why so scared? *Lays shadow on his back* I dont bite. *Rubbing on shadows naked a** rubbing it then slapping it hard."
Why do people find slapping so sexy? And why is this writer so demented?
READING THIS FANFICTION IS AS MUCH FUN AS LICKING A WITCHES CUN*! (Pardon the language)
"Ah! What are you doing?"
Why do people do NOTHING when they are being raped?
Instead of RUNNING THE FUCK AWAY AND CALLING THE COPS, all they do is say, "No! Don't! Please!"
That's always struck me as weird. Whatever. And Shadow is a guy.
Squealing like a girl.
Childhood ruined yet?
"You have been a bad ultimate life form shady, you even once tried to destroy the world. *Continuing to slap his a**"
2 things. One, did Shadow ever actually destroy the world? 2, It should be continued, not continuing.
GRAMMAR DUDE! GRAMMAR! IS IT REALLY THAT HARD TO DO?
Then again, when your so perverted school doesn't even accept you what do you expect?
"Shadow was yelping with each slap kicking his legs and gripping the bed"
RUN YOU IDIOT RUN!
It's like what you tell people in a horror movie to do, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!
Then again, Shadow likes it. No, the writer likes it. TrueBlueTeam you sick bastard.
"Few minutes later sonic finally stop"
WHY FOR ONCE CAN'T A BAD FANFICTION AT LEAST HAVE SOME DECENT.
I have seen Koopas with better english then this guy! YEAH I WENT THERE.
Then again, somebody should check who has better grammar. Read both reviews and read them carefully.
Screw it moving on to the nasty, or I'm sorry, what TrueBlueTeam thinks is the good part.
And fuck you writer, you aren't a "True Blue" Sonic fan.
Your a fucking pervert, and nobody likes you.
Get out your popcorn creator of creation of a dry bones! And TrueBlueTeam, get some soda!
This is the worst part guys. And like the other Fanfiction IT NEVER ENDS!
"But Shadow's butt was as red as an apple,"
Good grammar? WOW THAT SENTENCE IS PERFECT! Too bad it's perverted. Fuck you TrueBlueTeam. Or TrueBlueFucker as I'll call you now.
"And shadow had tears in his eyes"
Writer: AND THEN SHADOW BENDED OVER AND **** ********* *** **** SONIC IN THE ****** **** HEHEHE! *Drools*
"Shadow: *Choking on tears* Stupid Faker"
HOW DOES SOMEBODY CHOKE ON TEARS? ULTIMATE LIFE FORM MY ASS!
Uh-Oh. You know when Sonic Smirks things can't be good......
"Sonic: I'm the faker? Heh,"
He sounds like my rival from Pokemon.
SO I'M THE FAKER? HEH, SMELL YOU LATER DORK!
Oh wait, even my douchebag rival isn't that demented and he would never rape anybody.
I'll bet all my money that the writer faps 90
times a day. And animal abuser haters, LEAVE NOW.
"Sonic: Let's see can a faker do something like this"
Fucking Grammar, I miss you.
R.I.P. GRAMMAR. 0000-2013.
"Takes off pants and boxers exposing his 14 inch 12 width groin out gets hard then sticks it in shadows mouth."
1, I WARNED YOU SASHA
2, Sonic doesn't even have a d*** HE NEVER EVEN WEARS CLOTHES! NOBODY DOES IN SONIC X!
I AM THIS CLOSE TO-
"Shadow: *Blushes way more* Mmph!
Shadow gives sonic angry look then gets sonic on bed then closes eyes then enjoys it startssu cking on it shadow got hard sticks up"
FUCK YOU TRUEBLUEFUCKER! FUCK YOU! And for the people whose childhoods aren't crushed yet, THIS IS FOR YOU!
"Sonic sweating and smirks at shadows groin and plays with it as if it was a twat causing white stuff to come out giving shadow pain, but satisfactory."
Is satisfactory the only pleasure word this guy knows? Who says that in a porn Fanfiction anyways, satisfactory?
HAHA That is bad use of words. And the "White stuff" is called sperm you fucking idiot.
Even the author of creation of a dry bones knew this! USE BETTER VOCABULARY!
"Shadow was sucking faster holding on sonics waist and thigh sucking on it like it's is favorite popsicle."
I am the only person I know that complains about grammar, spelling, and vocabulary during a porn Fanfiction.
Can't blame me for wanting to talk about something else, I threw up twice when reading this and I DON'T WANT TO DO IT AGAIN!
"Deep throating it sonic was enjoying and moaning on it then he finally cum in his mouth a lot."
This Fanfiction is FUCKING DISTURBING!
HOW FUCKING DRUNK WAS THIS AUTHOR WHEN HE PUBLISHED THIS!?
MAN, we really ARE back in the stone age!
NO, we are in the Jurassic age, NO, BEFORE THE OLDEST OF CREATURES WAS BORN, BEFORE THE UNIVERSE EXISTED, HUMANITY IS DISGUSTING!
"Shadow swallowed the cum and stopped sucking and got on his back"
Scientists have proven that sperm tastes like play dough, I am not joking. So Shadow likes eating play dough, good to know!
"Shadow: I never knew something so good could happen! Sonic: *Smirks* it isn't over till I say it's over"
*Insert giant extremely grossed out and scared mad face here*
"*Lifts shadows legs up* *Noticing sonics dil** is way bigger then his groin, will this hurt?"
If you're a pervert, which you are, then no! Because you already fucked yourself, it shouldn't. :)
"No well maybe a little ok a lot. *Sticks it in him fast hard and firm*"
Why is it that my two Fanfiction reviews are just really bad porn? It makes ME seem like the pervert.
That will change in the next review before you guys get the wrong idea.
"doing the glowing triangle while shadows legs her up"
Glowing triangle? LEGS HER UP? I DIDN'T EDIT THIS! READ THE LINK I GAVE YOU, I AM NOT JOKING.
Better yet, stay away from the link and avoid vomiting for a 7th time. Lord knows I've vomited about 15 times in just 2 episodes!
"*Tears came out and he sceamed, but then started enjoying it*"
o_______O The Fanfiction is making the jokes FOR me now.....
"sonic starts to thrust fast, and shadow was moaning and groaning and enjoying it and stuff"
Author: WHERE'S THE EDIT BUTTON!? PRESS THE EDIT BUTTON! *Clicks publish by mistake* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
"after 5 minutes, sonic cum in shadows butt and stop as they both sleep"
Sex. Popcorn. Television. Shadow's Ark.
Space. This Fanfiction makes no sense.
And here is a quote by the author
"Just to let you know how much Sonic Seme Shadow I am."
You didn't have to make a rape story.
"It's lazy because I'm sleepy,"
I am writing this at midnight and my last review at 1:30, this is what is known as A BAD HYPOCRITICAL FUCKING EXCUSE.
"But I am going to make better stories."
No you aren't, you are going to keep writing stories about hedgehogs and ponies raping each other on the ark eating popcorn accidently touching hands watching television in space.
With terrible vocabulary, spelling, punctuation, and Grammar.
"Tell me how it is"
I just fucking did.
To sum it all up, it's boring, lame, lazy, cliche, disgusting, and short.
Now for the rant time.
THIS FUCKING GOD DAMN FANFICTION FUCKING SUCKS THE AUTHORS ASS!
I WOULD RATHER DRINK THE DIABOLICAL DIARRHEA COMING OUT OF AN OLD WITCH'S BLEEDING VA*INA! IT'S F**KING TERRIBLE!
IT'S LOGIC MAKES NO SENSE, HAS WAY TOO MANY CANONICAL ERRORS IN IT, IS WAY TOO MEAN SPIRITED, AND I HAVE SEEN PEOPLE STAY UP FOR 72 HOURS AND TYPE PERFECTLY YOU ASSHOLE!
This Toxic Fanfic one of the worst I have EVER read, therefore, my final rating for this Fanfiction, IS TWO MIDDLE FINGERS OUT OF 10!
Not as bad as Creation Of A Dry Bones, BUT REALLY ATROCIOUS. As I spent 3 hours working on this episode.
Now here is one thing. The author said in another one of his Fanfiction that he was going to keep redoing this story and "Keep on polishing out it's flaws" making it so that you can never read it twice.
WELL HE SURE GOT THAT RIGHT.
I hate my fucking life.