One difference between a guitar and a fish is that you can't tuna fish. Posted over a year ago

Congress is like Christmas lights. Half of them don't work, and those that do aren't very bright. Posted over a year ago

What do you find in ancient Greece?

...

Ancient chips! Posted over a year ago

What did the blanket say to the bed? I've got you covered! Posted over a year ago

What did the person at the bridge tell the bell before the bell went under the bridge? "Toll, please!" Posted over a year ago

Two sharks are eating a clown fish. One of them says, "I don't know about you, but this tastes funny to me." Posted over a year ago

Knock, knock! Who's there? Ida. Ida who? Ida rather not be here. Posted over a year ago

A hamburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here." Posted over a year ago

What did the hedgehog say when he backed into a cactus? "Is that you, Mum?" Posted over a year ago

Why did the farmer stomp in his field and pour gravy on it? He was trying to grow mashed potatoes with gravy. Posted over a year ago

What did one eye say to the other? "Just between you and me, something smells." Posted over a year ago

Oh Latvians...stop making jokes...there not funny -_- Posted over a year ago

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He's not going to come. Posted over a year ago

Here is a funny joke oh no girl did u not know combs were Even ... Posted over a year ago

I laugh at everything!!!!!!!!!!! Lol!!! XD Posted over a year ago

a girl breaks up with her boyfriend others think she's bi
boy 1 wanna run for boys 100m dash? Posted over a year ago

Sam finds him a new one, and the chicken goes back out, book under his wing.Later,the chicken comes back!"Book,bookbook!" he says. He walks out after the Sam gets him a book.Sam follows the chicken.After a while, they end up at the back of a farm. He keeps following the chicken until they get to a pond with a large lillipad with a large frog on top. The chicken walks right up to the frog and hands him the book.
The Frog, astonishingly, shakes his head, and says, "Read it. Read it"!!!
LOL!!!!!! Posted over a year ago

PART ONE
A chicken walks into the library,up to the front desk. He says to Sam the librarian, "Book, book book!" So the Sam gets him a book. The chicken walks out with the book under its wing.Half an hour later, the chicken comes back. Again he says, "Book, book book!" and puts the old book on the desk.
END OF PART ONE
(Its too long to fit it in one post) Posted over a year ago

100 funny ways to answer your phone and they're hilarious!!
link Posted over a year ago

what did Dora and Diego say when they went to a hotel?
a: WE DId WE DID IT! u know like the song at the end of each show
like if u get it Posted over a year ago

Mum:What's the first thing you learnt at school???
Daughter:How to speak without moving my lips:D

Mum:What are you going to dress up in the school Halloween party???
Daughter:A pupil
Mum:A pupil??But pupil you are every day at school,aren't you???
Daughter:No mum at school i go as a tourist :D Posted over a year ago

Doctor: "Why should I examine you? You'll never pay me!"
Patient: " Why should I pay you?! You're completely incompetent!"
Doctor: "Good point"
( places stethoscope on patient's forehead)
Doctor: " Turn your head and cough" Posted over a year ago

i heared thiz from my friend at my school so i thought y not put it on here: wat do u call black people standing in front of white people = an eclipse.
again i got thiz joke from my friend at my school Posted over a year ago

I like jokes that are so awful, but are so funny 'coz they're bad. Posted over a year ago

what do you call 500 indians without titys? indian,nippleless,500 Posted over a year ago

my friend has a motorcycle made of 2 by 4s.when he starts it up it goes....wooden....wooden. Posted over a year ago

i like jokes whenever iam in a good or a bad mood..!! Posted over a year ago

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya buddy? I loled forever Posted over a year ago

thats ssssooooo funny :P Posted over a year ago

I am the 500th fan Posted over a year ago

How much cocaine can Charile Sheen handle a week?? Posted over a year ago

Ok....so the grandma thinks LOL means lots of love so she texts her grandaugter "my dog died LOL" haha Posted over a year ago

i have a joke for you if you read my comment
Posted over a year ago

Chris Brown
LiL Wayne, Chris Brown + J.Holiday just died.Lil Wayne choked on a lollipop. Chris Brown Had NO AIR and J.Holiday Suffcated.*

Posted over a year ago

Fluff
What is pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff!

Posted over a year ago

ketchup
there was a daddy tomato,a mommy, and a kid tomato. The kid tomato said”where are we going?” The daddy tomato said”chut up already, come on we don’t have all day”. The daddy tomato went over to the kid tomato and stepped on him and said KETCHUP!!!

Posted over a year ago

somebody read this

i am wee todd did
i am wee todd did
i am sofa king wee todd did

read it over and over till you get it u will probably laugh Posted over a year ago

Dear cosmetic companies,

Thanks for putting that, "For external use only" sticker on my lotion.

Sincerely, was definitely planning to drink it. Posted over a year ago

Another drawing competition, a participant came up to the referee and showed him an empty paper, the referee: What is on your drawing? The guy: A cow eating grass. Referee: Where is the grass? Guy: The cow ate it. Referee: Where is the cow? Guy: She went to look for grass in another place. Posted over a year ago

There was a competition for the fastest drawing, one guy drew a dot and said "finished!" The referee asked him :What is that on your drawing?" The guy answered "An elephant coming from far. far, far, far, far, far away" Posted over a year ago

the red man was in the shower when the green man knocked and his door, the red man quickly put a towel on and went downstairs but as soon as the red man opened the door his towel fell down. the green man ran across the road in shock horror and got knocked down by a car.

The moral or this story is to NEVER run across the road when the red man flashes :L xxxx haha Posted over a year ago

You peoples is just silly. Posted over a year ago

In Soviet Russia translator translates you!
Posted over a year ago

story of my life buttcrack on my knife but it keeps avoiding me story of my soul putting a hole in my story dnt think wrong i wasnt going to put wat u think i was Posted over a year ago

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky like chicken wings i could really use some sauce right now sauce right sauce right now can my friend said half of this lmbo Posted over a year ago

wat the most disturbing thing on earth?

answer:perez hilton Posted over a year ago

what do you call teeth you get for a dollar ? Posted over a year ago

what does the hillbilly call a deer with no eye ?
tricky one ? Posted over a year ago

Why did the cookie go to the doctor ? Posted over a year ago

why DID the chicken cross the road? Posted over a year ago