Cougar: Is that a nipple ring?
Puck: Yeah. I'm pretty rock 'n roll.
Puck: Dude, my bowels have better moves than you.
Puck: That Rachel chick makes me wanna light myself on fire, but she can sing.
Puck: It's my personal tribute to a musical Jewish icon.
Puck: Wanna make out?
Rachel: Sure!
Puck: It was a message from God: Rachel was a hot Jew and the good lord wanted me to get into her pants.
Puck: Know what the worst part is? It's not the burning in your eyes or how the slushee drips into your underpants. It's the humiliation.
Quinn: I don't care if my baby comes out with a mohawk, I will go to my grave swearing it's Finn's.
Puck: It would be pretty awesome if it came out with a mohawk.
Puck: I'm all about being a team player. But my family comes first.
Puck: I love the days when I don't wear underwear. Full commando!
Quinn: What are you doing Friday night?
Puck: Just the usual. Stand outside the 7-Eleven and look depressed until someone offers to buy me beer.
Puck: I'm gonna be a good dad. But I'm not gonna stop being me to do it.
Puck: I gotta go load up the guns for the football picture!
