A/N: Okay I totally LOVE Lily Allen's new song 'The Fear' so I thought I'd take lyrics from the song and use as a fanfic base for this one shot. I've taken a break from writing cos I've finished the Chuck and Blair Chronicles so I'm just waiting to post, But boredness+Me= Writing! :( Don't know if this style of writing suits me or not, So give me your opinion. Thank you. Hope you like it.
A/U: Okay so I read Lauren's (ChuckBlairLuvA) one shot fanfic the other day and I totally loved it and the idea of a future setting so this scene is set some time in the future, When Blair is leaving for Yale, and Chuck has to stay behind in New York City, In Blair's bedroom at the Waldorf Apartment.
"I don't know what's right and what's real anymore...Cos I'm being taken over by the Fear" - Lily Allen
Cross left, cross right, fold and pack. Over and over. Packing seemed so simple when talked about, Until the time came to actually do it. Cross left, cross right again. Blair thought she would never fit all of her beautiful clothing into these compact cases, She really should of considered a moving van. It would of been so much less trouble, And having to pack herself really wasn't what should of happened, Where was Darota when Blair needed her?
However she had more important things to worry about, And far more exciting things to prepare for. Yale.
She stopped packing for a few short minutes and shifted across her room to her bed, where she sat and fell backwards into a whirlwind dream of how her life would change once she would arrive at Yale. Top of the class. Graduating first. Yale's Queen B. All the things she was planning to achive would raise a smile onto her perfect face. Nevertheless, the other option seemed less blissful. Leaving New York City, Manhattan, The Upper East Side. Home. Leaving home, It wasn't a prospect Blair had ever wanted to face. Manhattan was her home, And the time had come to leave it. Leaving school, that didn't seem as much as a problem as leaving Serena. The smile on her face grew as she thought of all the things she and her best friend had been through. The squables, the jealousy, the compeating...But they wern't the important parts,
She loved her best friend so much, Everything that they had done for eachother is what made Blair elated at the fact that she had Serena, and no one else did. She was her best friend no one elses, and Blair could always look back on her teenage years and not reget a thing, because everytime she screwed up, who was there at her side? The one person who was always there, Serena.
The smile quickly vanished, when a loud yell came from downstairs.
"BLAIR! Are you nearly finished."
A yell from her mother.
Now that, Blair thought was one thing she would not miss, Her mother's constant yells. Disappointments.
Yes. That was one thing she would not miss.
She continued to pack, left, right, left, right.
Until a knock at the door distracted her. Blair slowly turned her head just enough to see in the corner of her eye who was standing in her door way.
After a fast flicker she turned her head back to gaze at her case and continue to fold the clothing.
The figue stood in the door for a few more minutes, Until a sudden noise of speech came from the figue's perfectly drawn mouth.
"You're leaving then?"
Blair continued to pack, evading the comment just made, She felt if she didn't answer the person would leave. She would not need to answer anymore questions.
The figure took a step into the room, closer to Blair. She took no notice. This was of no significance. She was indiffrent to this figue. Spoke again... "Without saying goodbye?" Blair felt the guilt rush down her spine. It was true. She was going to leave without saying goodbye to that person.
The most important person.
She tried not to show the guilt, her emotion. Feeling this way made her question why she was leaving. But she could not think that way. Yale was her dream, It's what she had always planned for her future. Yale was the dream. But there was another dream. A dream that, if Blair let it would take over her life, It would make her forget about Yale, About everyone else. Because this was the one dream in the world that she wanted to come true, And now was the time that she could let it.
Looking through her closet forced Blair to look back on her life. She saw the white eyelet dress, the one she wore to that wild brunch, See had caused Serena so much sorrow that day, Just for revenge. She had plotted with Chuck. She had tried to seduce Nate. She then slowly moved along the whole line of hanging clothing, she saw the dress she wore to the debutante ball and the pink dress she wore to Lily and Bart's wedding, All these dresses were perfect, And yet she had only woren them once, Continuing to tip toe down the closet she stopped when she saw that dress.
The one dress she wore that night. The night everything changed.
How she gone from being a girl to a woman, And it that was done at the hands of Chuck Bass.
Thinking of his name made her tingle all over. It even sent shivers down her spine.
She closed her eyes and thought of that night and all the nights they had together, and how she didn't regret one of them, Not a single one.
The figue again appeared at the door of the closet.
Blair, for the first time since his entrance spoke.
Her eyes fluttered.
"I don't have much time, I'm leaving tonight"
He walked closer to her and took her hand.
"You were going to leave, Without saying goodbye".
That feel of guilt returned.
She stopped to think and gazed at the carpet floor, to try and disguise her emotional face from his.
But there was no disguising the love that these two had felt for eachother.
She spoke again.
"I didn't know how to...How to say goodbye to you".
The same second as the last word left her ruby lips she rushed past him back into her bedroom. He rapidly followed.
Tears began to wellup in Blair's beautiful brown eyes. She could hear Chuck's footsteps walking up behind her.
"Is this right for you?"
Ofcourse it was! No question. Yale was right for Blair Waldorf. Yale was Blair. Blair was Yale. It's what she had worked for. But she thought, couldn't she have both?
"I don't know, I don't know what' right anymore".
Another clear tear fell down her rosey cheek as stood so close behind her, his arms wrapped around her waist so tight, she couldn't bare the thought of him letting go.
"Then what's real?"
He asked her.
"I don't know. I don't know what's right and what's real anymore. What is real?"
Chuck's twisted Blair around, Her face now facing him.
He gazed into her eyes.
She gazed into his.
They were both holding on so tight. Not letting go.
A smile then found it's way onto his face.
"I'm in fear of what's going to happen"
Blair muttered, Almost asif she didn't want Chuck to hear.
But he did.
"Don't let that take you over"
She then again stared at the floor.
"I have two dreams, and I can only have one".
He then took his hand and held onto her cheek and brought her face back to his.
"Do you know what is real Blair?"
She gives him that famous Blair Waldorf look, that only he could tell what she was thinking. As soon as Chuck saw that look he knew exactlly what to say.
And the smile that was there some time ago, came back to her face, And it was that moment Blair knew what was right and what was real, and that she had no need to worry about the fear no longer.
A/N: Okay I know not that great, Ughh, Just bored so, Hope you thought it was okay. Thanks to everyone who reads and comments :) and to anyone who hasn't head the song- Totally listen to it, It's awesome![/