Hear that? It's the sound of millions of wimpy teenage boys crying.
Now, you probably made about 50 sexual innuendos just from reading the title of that. Well, congratulations, your mind is in the gutter. Yay society. But I'm not talking about...you know... I'm talking about their ears. That's right. EARS. Now, we all know what makes hot guys, well, hot (and if you don't, happy anatomy lesson): their facial symmetry; the distance between their eyes; the color of their eyes; the length and size of their noses; the almost feminine lips; the whiteness and straightness of their teeth; the spectrum of facial hair; their gorgeous, wavy, hair, and the accidentally/on purpose casual messiness of it, whether it's short, long, or somewhere in between (we don't care how hot you are, a mullet WILL ruin any potential hotness you may have had); the rugged muscularity of their biceps, triceps, quadriceps, pectorals, abdominals, and a whole other mess of gorgeous, yummy, delicious man muscles that make girls melt into puddles of lovesick goo. And their asses. You can't forget their asses. Mmm.
But I have a theory. These men are the hottest things we've ever dared to lay our eyes upon, am I right? SO HOT that it makes the temperature of the sun look downright chilly? And can we all agree on the fact that these ridiculously good-looking creatures make every other man we set our eyes upon pale (figuratively and literally) in comparison? I mean, how can we like the guy that sits next to us in Algebra when we're bombarded with shirtless photos of Ryan Reynolds, Jensen Ackles, Zac Efron, and countless others? And of course, it doesn't help that the pictures we see of these bodacious beefcakes are probably retouched and airbrushed to make them look even hotter
than they already are (apparently such a thing is possible). So yes, we're all in agreement? These creatures are close to godlike with their physical beauty? Good.
Okay. Here's my theory: If a person is so gifted in any area, whether it be attractiveness, athleticness, intelligence, et cetera, et cetera, they can't be perfect. It just can't happen. Humans are flawed
, and I'm thinking these celebs that we worship would like us to believe that, and stop pointing out their every imperfection. Now, that's not entirely what I'm doing here, so don't blame me. I mean, they make millions of dollars being in movies, working with gorgeous actresses, and the whole world knows who they are...come the hell on, they can take a critique or two! But if a person is that
fortunate, there is no way they can be perfect. Nope.
Here is the proof. I have compiled a list of 21 guys, all who girls would all but sell their souls to marry, or even date, and I have provided pictures of how weird their ears are. It's as simple as that. No incredibly good-looking guy can be beautiful everywhere (okay, so Jared Padalecki, Ryan Reynolds, Leo DiCaprio (1997 version), Chace Crawford, Taylor Lautner, Kellan Lutz, Chad Michael Murray, and a few others did have pretty nice ears, so yay for them, they can continue to make the rest of the world's population of guys feel inferior in every way). And if you want to comment and add a celeb (with pic) of your own to this list, I'd be happy to see it and how weird their ears are!!
Here they are:
, this one was perfect, thanks TMZ! I don't think I'm going to sleep for a week!
11) the infamous link
and his crazy ears
20) your precious (barf) link
aaaaaand 21) link
(shout out to my girl Sara! Haha! No, sorry, it's not our
There you have it. Photographic proof that our boys are not as perfect as they seem. Keep on trying, all you average, not-famous boys, with your superior ears!!!
Note: I did not mean to offend anyone by saying that their favorite celeb guy has weird ears. Don't yell at me. Can you really deny the proof??
Congrats to celebs like Taylor Lautner and Jared Padalecki, for having decent ears.
Even this random male model has weird ears!! Though admittedly, an excellent bod.