She totally did!
Robin knew Ted would have to leave soon, but she wished he wouldn't. She had been holding back tears all night and she knew that once she was left alone, it would be impossible to prevent them falling.
Finally, the moment she was dreading arrived. Ted downed the last of his beer and sighed. "Well, Robin... I've got to get going." He said, getting up.
Robin smiled at him, never mind the uncomfortable lump in her throat that always preceded crying.
"Okay," She said, praying her voice remained steady. "See you later, Ted."
Ted scrutinized her with concern. "You gonna be alright?" He asked.
She was prepared for this question. Ted always said she couldn't lie without laughing, but when it really mattered Robin could be as good as Barney.
She waved his concern away. "Yeah! I'll be fine!" She was proud of the nonchalance in her voice.
"Alright," Ted said. "See you tomorrow, Robin."
Robin smiled again. "Yeah. See you tomorrow." She called as he walked away.
Robin took a deep breath and a drink of scotch as she willed the tears not to come. They blurred her vision anyway and as she blinked, a single insolent drop rolled down her cheek. She felt like an idiot for getting this way over Simon of all people.
She looked up and to her horror saw Barney walking toward the booth. She really didn't want him to see her crying over Simon. She hastily wiped away the tears.
"Alright! I can't find your video!" He griped, sitting down across from her. "I've wasted three days-" He broke off, catching her wiping her eyes. "What's the matter."
Robin shook her head slightly. "Uh... Simon dumped me in his van after the show."
Barney looked at her as if she were insane. "Yeah. Robin, that was like 10 years ago." He said.
Robin smiled at him coldly. "No, tonight."
"Ohh-h-h..." Barney said, not able to completely stifle his laughter. "Really?"
Robin knew he wasn't laughing at her, but it made her cry anyway. She put a hand to her forehead as she let the emotion out. She was heartbroken, embarrassed. She wished that Barney would be more sensitive. Sometimes she wondered why they were even friends.
"Ohhh! Oh, come here!" She heard him say as she cried. "Come here..." And suddenly he was next to her on the bench. And his arm was around her. She began crying in earnest now, resting her head on his shoulder.
She barely had time to marvel at the fact that BARNEY STINSON was her crying shoulder before she started talking.
"When I was young, I was so vulnerable and... and open to things, you know?" She looked up at him and thought she could see the faint smirk of a dirty thought on his face, but he stayed silent and sympathetic.
"I guess I just wanted to feel that way again," She continued. "I wanted to be 16 again."
After a moment Barney said, "Robin, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth."
Robin laughed. As if she didn't know she was being completely idiotic.
"You want to be sixteen again??" Barney continued. "I have watched your first Robin sparkles video 1000 times, and it's not because I'm proud of you as a friend... It's because you were totally, totally LAME back then."
Robin laughed again. Like she didn't know that either. There's a reason she kept that part of her life a secret.
"But now, come on! PA-KOW! You're the most awesome person I have ever known. Well... second most awesome."
Naturally. Robin thought. "Right," She laughed. "Of course, the first being you."
"No... no."
Robin knew better than to be surprised by this answer. She just waited for it.
"The first is this guy who lives in a place called THE MIRROR! What up!"
It was incredible how easily he could make her laugh...
"I'm saying that you are way more awesome than Simon ever will be!" Barney shrugged like he was just stating a fact as obvious as the color of the sky.
Robin was amazed at how truly awesome Barney was being. She never expected that he would be the one to genuinely comfort her and let her cry on his suit. And she knew the perfect way to thank him.
"Barney, do you want to come back to my place?" She asked him.
Barney raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Your place?"
Then Robin leaned in and whispered one little thing into his ear: "Robin. Sparkles."
Barney's eyes widened and the next thing Robin knew, they were sitting together on her couch. An awkward silence thickened the air around them.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Barney asked.
Robin nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure." She said. "Just don't tell anyone about this."
"Of course." Barney agreed immediately.
Another awkward silence descended. Again, Barney broke it.
"So, should I just... put it in?"
Robin almost laughed as she thought about what this conversation would sound like to someone who didn't know what they were talking about.
"Yeah, why not?"
Barney hesitated for a moment and then eagerly opened the tape box and pushed the black rectangle into the VCR.
The video flickered into life, showing Robin Sparkles in all her 80s-esque glory slowly walking down a beach in a white sundress as a somber keytar intro played.
Met you at the mall...
Robin sighed. She hadn't even thought about this video in years. She'd grown very adept at repressing memories of her pop star days.
"This was my big artistic follow-up to 'Let's Go to the Mall'..." She said, looking over at Barney. His jaw was hanging open in amazement at the awesome horribleness of the video. "...it kind of tanked." Robin finished.
My friends said I was a fool (You're a fool) (Shut up!)
"Is that Tiffany!?" Barney said staring at the screen in disbelief. "Mmmhmm." Robin smiled.
Together we were gonna travel the globe, from Alberta to Ontario...
"It's everything I want it to be and more!" Barney said, the delight in his voice unmistakable. Robin smiled sarcastically at him. "Oh, I'm so glad."
They were both laughing now. Robin couldn't believe that watching one of the atrocious videos could be so fun.
"You know, if you re-edit this, there's a tampon commercial in here somewhere." Barney said, not taking his eyes of Robin Sparkles in her white dress on the beach. Robin sneered at him as she laughed internally.
On our favorite bench, we'd sit and talk and you taught me to French.
Robin and Barney giggled as 16-year-old Robin and Simon "kissed". They looked more like dogs licking each other's faces.
"Do you see how lame you were back then?" Barney laughed.
"Yeah, I was pretty lame..." Robin agreed with a groan.
"Totally lame!" Barney reiterated, the delight still apparent in his voice.
Robin had gotten much better at Frenching since then... It would blow Barney's min- NO!! Robin cut herself off in mid-thought. That scotch and beer from earlier must be catching up on her...
Barney nudged her. "And, of course, THE ROBOT makes a guest appearance in the sad love ballad..." He said, pointing to the screen as DNT-4GET the Robot consoled Robin Sparkles with a sunflower.
Robin smiled, fighting a giggle. "He was my sidekick, he had to be!"
The hours blurred together as the pair watched the video again and again. With each viewing it became funnier and the later it got, the more Robin's mind wandered.
Come back, please! I've changed my mind, let's go all the way!
She thought back to the first time he ever came over to her apartment. That night that she had been his bro and she invited him up to her apartment to play Battleship.
She left him alone for two minutes while she was getting the game from her bedroom, only to come back and find him in just his boxers with his shirt unbuttoned.
"What the hell are you doing!?" She said, nearly dropping the game box in susrprise.
"I'm birthday suiting up," Barney said casually. "I'm sorry, did you want to undress me?"
Robin could remember shaking her head in exasperation and setting the game box down as Barney got dressed.
"Okay, you and me? That's insane!" Robin said as Barney prepared to tie his tie. "If you even thought about it for one second-"
Barney cut her off. "But I have thought about it- for three seconds! And it makes a lot of sense. We both think the marriage/commitment thing's a drag, we're both looking for something casual and fun and we clearly get along really well." With that, he tied his tie with expert speed.
As Robin thought of that night, nearly two years later, her thoughts about Barney's reasoning were the same. "Wow, that actually did make a lot of sense."
Sandcastles may be cute, (I'm on the pill now)
Robin bit her lip and turned to look at Barney. He was still watching the video intently, eyes glued to the screen. Even though Robin hadn't really drank all that much that night, she felt drunk. Her heart raced as she tried to consider the circumstances and the consequences of what she was thinking about doing.
But she couldn't concentrate. Her mind kept returning to thinking about how nice Barney was being to her... his reputation... how good he looked in just his boxers... God, she must be drunk!
But now, all they do is remind me of you
Barney turned to her. "You know, even after the 15th time," He said with a laugh. "It's still just hil-" Before Barney finished his sentence and before Robin even knew what she was doing, she grabbed his tie and pulled him close to her, her lips colliding with his.
Let's go all the way, you said it'd be okay...
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
