__________________________________________________
Chapter 2
Valentines Day
Febuary 14- I sighed knowing this day would come in Lucas and my relationship. I yawned looking at the clock 5:00 am. I got up and started my yoga. Lucas wasn’t home and I truly had no idea where he was. After finishing my yoga I hoped in the shower with Rachel. Then I did my make up and blow dried my hair. At about 10:00 am I colored with Rachel, It was a Sunday so Rachel’s nanny wasn’t coming in. All the while I was thinking about House. I was glad he was with Wilson today. No one deserved to be alone on Valentines day, even an ass like him. Suddenly I heard the door open.
“Hey bitch.” I was Lucas
I sighed “Please don’t use language like that around Rachel.”
“Oh sorry” He walked up and kissed me lightly on the lips.
The feel of his lips on mine erked me. He was so young, so inexperienced, so naive. He was a party boy, I was when I was young, but I am not a girl anymore, I am a woman.
“Happy Valentines day” He said coming towards me with a single daisy.
“Oh, thanks babe…” I replied half heartedly and he kissed me again.
“Hey Lucas? Could you do me a favor please?”
“Well, I was going to watch tv….”
“I just wanted you to watch Rachel for me while I go get something from work. Will you please?”
“I guess”
“Ok I’ll be back”
I left. God I had to do everything! When I arrived at work I was surprised to see three roses on my desk. I eagerly opened the card. It read, “You know.~ your secret admirer.”
I smiled someone sent me roses. But I wondered who it could be. Who would write something like “you know” on the card? While I pondered this I retrived my gifts for Lucas and Rachel and left my office. On the way to my car I ran into House. So he was a work. He eyed the gifts and the roses and then said softly, “Happy Valentines Day” Then walked away silently. I was breathless at the sight of the small tears in his eyes. I wanted to chase after him and kiss him with every bit of passion my body held. But then the memory of his deep blue eyes, they were pools of pain. His mouth was a straight line of misery. He even walked as if he was withering in anguish. What was he doing in the parking lot anyway? I wondered suddenly.
I walked till I got to my car where I was greeted by 9 more roses and a vase. Again the card was signed your secret admire. But this time it had written in scribbly handwriting. “I love you.” My eyes teared up and I fought the urge to cry. I then got in the car when the realizations hit me. It was House who sent me the roses.
“Damn it!” I cursed loudly throwing the stuff down in the passengers seat.
“Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!” I was so mad. I was mad that he had that kind of effect on me. I was dating Lucas because I needed stability. I really couldn’t stand him. The ass got me a fucking daisy! And the man I was really in love with got me roses. At that moment my body and mind ached to be in his arms, kissing him, feeling his stubble on my face, feeling his cane near my body. Why did I let him do this to me? Why?
“Why? Why? Why?” I asked softly “Why?”
“Because you love him.” My mind told me.
“Shut up!” I replied to myself but I knew that what my subconscious was telling me was true…I did love him…I always had…and I hated that I couldn’t have everything that I wanted…Then I smiled…He got me roses…how sweet…
I sat in my car for a while trying to convince myself to not go and find House. To run to him and kiss him and tell him how much love him. After a while of just sitting there I started the car and said, “For Rachel.” And with that I drove away from the love of my life on Valentines day to go to a man I didn’t love.
All the way home I repeated, “For Rachel"
