I'm like, 18352 million times sorry!
My computer crashed and it erased the Find your way back fully D<
and I can not bring it to the end.
I am so sorry and you have no idea how pissed I was when that happened.
I hope I make it up to you by writing this one shot. I just needed to write it, I felt like it was so long since I posted anything :P
Anyway, I hope you enjoy :)
Lisa started at her mobile phone for over an hour, trying to figure out what to do.
She missed him, so much... and yet, she knew calling him wasn't an option. She was involved with someone else... She had no right to call him, especially since she was the one who wanted to end their re-... thing.
She couldn't refer it to nothing more than a thing. It hadn't been a fling, since she was, in fact, in love with him, and it hadn't been a relationship either, well, not a real one, since they couldn't let anyone know.
It was... just as she said, a thing.
She didn't care, she had moved on, she'd gotten with another guy... and yet... she was in her living room, staring at her cell, trying to figure out why on Earth she had an urge to call him.
It had been almost five months since she'd ended their relationship. She just couldn't take it anymore.
All the hiding, all the lies... and all the frustration of not letting anyone (but close family and friends) know that they had been together.
After weeks of talking to her psychiatrist and him telling her for more than 4 years, which they had been on off and on relationship, that the whole situation hadn't been healthy for her, she'd finally come to the turning point where she realized, she needed to tryto press him... again.
However... she'd figured, it wouldn't work, like it hadn't worked dozen times before. He would have never left his family to be with her, well, he would have never left Jo, his kids were ok with Lisa, they knew, long before Hugh, that the marriage between their parents had been over. Over even before he'd gone to work in the USA. She'd never confronted him, she'd just left the things as they had been- an affair behind the veil of lies.... an affair consisted of love none the less, but still nothing less than affair and nothing barely similar to completely functioning relationship.
Then, one day, at some local party she had been 'forced' to go to, she'd met John... A handsome director who just happened to be British. (she refused to admit of having a thing for British men)
Before long, she'd find herself falling for him, his wit, his charm... and most importantly... his non existent marital status.
And before she'd known it, she had been having an affair to her affair. It had been actually really silly.
If anyone had been to actually know what had been going on with her love life, they would most probably, laugh. But to her, it had been frustrating.
On one hand, she had had a man that she loved, loved more than anything. A man who could match her where no man could (and no, not just in the bedroom and jacuzzi)... A man who was brilliant in so many different ways, a man that completed her and fulfilled her on peculiar levels some never ever dared to. A man... that was married.
On the other hand... she had had John. A man that she'd been just starting to really like and a man that had been trying to put a smile on her face ever since they had first met. A man that had not been married, or in any other kind of a relationship and a man that could love her freely.
Her heart had been telling her to stay with the man she loved, the man she couldn't imagine her world without. Her head had been telling her a different story. Leave the guy you loved, love counted nothing, go be with someone who could actually show the whole world he loved you.
In the end... her head had won. Unfortunately, it had the worst timing ever.
The man she loved, the man she had been about to dump, had told her he was getting a divorce.
And at that time, her mind had been made up, and she hadn't cared.
Left leaving him staring at her back, mouth wide open, being just presented with what had been going on behind his back.
Not in his wildest dream had he ever thought Lisa would cheat on him.
She had been hoping that he would get angry, try to blame it all on her. She had been hoping for his worst reactions just so she could walk away freely, knowing he'd tried to put all the blame on her.
But he hadn't. He had.. actually let her go. He had been hurt, deeply, but he couldn't blame her for anything.
He'd told her that he'd kept her waiting for too long and that he'd known that she could walk away any time on him.
And she had left. After everything he'd said, she'd left... with tears in her eyes, wondering if her head had been wrong.
He kept not wearing his ring and it hurt her every time when she saw him ringless. It reminded her what she could have with him, if she hadn't left.
So, she'd backed away. Tried to push him out of her mind, tried to travel and not see him anywhere other than work, because she knew she should have let her heart win.
And there she was, staring at her phone, struggling to find a solution to her... problem.
All her mind was bringing her back to was him and everything they had had. She knew she shouldn't have thought about it, but she just couldn't help it.
After another half an hour just staring at the phone, she picked it up. She tried dialed his number, but as soon as she pressed the last digit, she put the phone down, not even having pressed the call button.
She just couldn't do it. It was too much.
She went to her kitchen, and got herself a glass of water, she returned to her couch shortly after.
She breathed in a few times and took the phone in her hands once more.
Her head was telling her to put the phone down, that it wasn't right, but one other piece of her was telling her to go for it.
The only piece of her that he still owned.
'Listen to your heart' she said to herself as she wrote a four letter text and with still hesitant fingers pressed send.
He was reading a book when he felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket. He reached for it and stared for a minute as he saw who the text was from. His heart skipped a beat as he read
'I miss you, Hugh'
Without any hesitation, he texted her back and got back to reading his book.
Three minutes after sending the text, she heard her phone sound. She got a text message. She reached for her cell, which she placed back on the coffee table and stopped breathing for a second as she confirmed that the text was from him.
'I miss you too, Lisa' was all that the text said.
A tear rolled down her cheek as she got up from the sofa and headed to her bedroom.
The moment her head hit the pillows was the moment a smile appeared on her face.
Three words I live for