Hello everybody! I am back with a loooooong chapter, I am sorry that I just updated now, but I didn't really have time for writing. Hope you will like this! Hugs and kisses ;-) (L)
2 months later
- Hey, honey!
- Yes? – Hugh looked up from an American tabloid.
- I thought about going to the theatre tonight… what do you think?
- Ok… sure but you don’t have to ask me for permission, you know – he said absentmindedly.
- For permission??? Hugh, I want to go with you! It was an invitation! – Jo said in astonishment.
- Oh… well, I am not really in the mood…. – he said uncertainly, not wanting to have another argument. Since he was back in London, he felt like as if they were just arguing non-stop.
- I see. I don’t even know why I am surprised anymore. You don’t want to do anything. You hardly talk to me or anyone for that matter. You haven’t even stepped out of the house since you came back. What the hell happened Hugh? I mean I thought you would be happy, that you could finally come home to me and our children but it seems to me that you would rather be anywhere but here. I know you miss the show and your friends but this is your home Hugh. We could hardly wait for you to come home and now that you are here… You are further away from us now than when you were in America. I would like you to think about this. I will go to the groceries now. – And with that she turned on her heels and walked out of the living-room, leaving Hugh to his thoughts.
- Great…- he murmured to himself throwing the tabloid on the table with an angry sigh, rubbing his face with his hands. He heaved a sigh than picked up the paper unable to resist looking at a beautiful woman who was caught by a paparazzi walking with her boyfriend. – At least you are happy. – He said to himself.
He stood up, put the traitorous paper on the table and went over to his piano. He hasn’t even had the energy to play. He didn’t have the energy for anything really. When he came home, he thought that finally, he could put his life back in order, as it was supposed to be. However, the minute he stepped through the threshold and laid eyes on his wife, a terrible feeling came over him. He promised himself that he would come back and try, but it seemed impossible, as he couldn’t even find it in himself to feel anything for Jo.
He missed her terribly. He tried to banish her from his thoughts, thinking that it was for the best, but for who, he thought bitterly, because he felt like crap, to be honest. Of course, he was happy to spend time with his children but even they could feel that something is wrong with him, and he couldn’t blame them. Jo was right. He is further away from them than he was ever before. And he very well knew why. He left a part of him there with her. A part he had no idea how to get back, not even sure he wanted to.
He placed his finger on the keys, and started to play and sing softly, knowing that nobody is at home, and he doesn’t have to be afraid of someone overhearing him.
I ignored the signs
I chose to be blind
Now I seek redemption
Kneeling on the floor, practicing remorse…
- Come on! You have to taste this, it’s delicious! - Lisa insisted with a big smile on her face.
- Oh nooo way. I am a man, I don’t eat rabbit food, and you should know it by now. – He said with a grin.
- Don’t be ridiculous! It’s not rabbit food. It’s healthy, and you won’t die if you taste it just for once. – She said scowling.
- Well maybe I won’t die, but still what if I am allergic to this thing… - he said with a somber expression, pouting and trying not to laugh at Lisa’s disbelieving face – would you take the chance?
- Allergic? To tofu? Seriously? That’s your argument? Sorry but you have to try harder than that if you want to avoid eating this – she said while getting closer and closer to his mouth with a fork of tofu. He tried to avoid it by turning his head, smirking triumphantly at her, while she just glared at him.
- No, no, thank you but I am perfectly fine with my steak over here, and I wouldn’t want you to stay hungry, so please just eat it without terrorizing me with that stuff – he replied smartly.
- Well smart-ass let me tell you one thing, you will have a bite or you are going to be in big trouble. – She said innocently.
- Really? Well bring it on Lizzy – he said, while waggling his eyebrows, and using the nickname he knew she hated.
- That’s war, you know. And I hope you are prepared to get your ass kicked by a girl – she told him smugly, and without waiting for a come back she attacked him and started tickling him anywhere she could reach him.
- Hey, that’s… not ….fair, L-isa, s –t – op. – he could barely get out a sentence.
- Well do you surrender? – She asked mischievously.
- No way in hell. – He said then grabbed her arm and pulled her out of her seat determined to tickle her back, until she started to have her giggles.
- Hugh, no no noooooooo – she said alarmed, knowing he will have no mercy.
- Well? Are you going to give up? – He asked her, his hand inches from her side.
- Yes, yes I give up - she said between laughs, even if his hands weren’t even touching her. – Just please let me go – she said pleadingly.
- Okay. I will forgive you for your little stunt earlier.
- Thank you sir. – She stuck her tongue out at him. – Um Hugh, you know, I didn’t want to tell you this…. – she began with a nervous voice, sitting back in her chair – but I had a dream about you last night. – She barely looked up at him and he suddenly became anxious, although he had no idea why.
- What did you dream about? – When she didn’t answer just put some tofu on her fork with shaking hands he really started to worry. – Lisa, hey, what’s wrong?
- I…. we… okay, I will just get this out of my system – and with one breath she said – I dreamt that we had sex yesterday. – she looked up finally, just to see Hugh look like a fish out of water, and drop his jaw in astonishment. She couldn’t bear it any longer. She cracked a big smile but quickly showed the tofu in his open mouth. And started to laugh uncontrollably at his expression. Hugh had no other choice than to swallow the food.
- You evil, evil woman. I can’t believe that you just did that. – he said, trying to frown, but failing miserably when he see just how big of a smile was on her face.
- All is fair in love and war…. – she said winking, getting out of her chair and planting a kiss on his cheek, then leaving him with a surprised but not unpleasant feeling in his stomach.
The picture vanished in front of his mind’s eye. He never told her how much he really liked tofu after that. Starting another verse he closed his eyes and let another memory engulf him.
Your memories inside me
Tearing me apart
Even though I try
I can’t draw the line…
- Hey guys! What’s up?
- Nothing, we just thought about having a movie night. – said Jesse.
- Really? Well that’s a great idea. You were working really hard in the past couple of months. You guys deserve to have a break. – Lisa said with a kind smile.
- Oh you are coming as well. – said Hugh grinning at Lisa.
- Really? And how do you know that I don’t have any plans for tonight? – she asked challengingly.
- Well, first of all, you didn’t say anything about plans for tonight, and we all know if you had anything to do you would have already told us about it, you can’t really keep things to yourself if you are excited – he said ignoring Lisa’s scowl. – Secondly, having program with a new blind date doesn’t count, we are more important than that I hope you know. Thirdly, do not play hard to get we know you are dying to come. – Hugh said smartly while grinning broadly at Lisa, who just glared at him in reply.
- Well if you insist, I think I can make time for this movie night. So is it going to be the four of us or were you planning to invite anybody else?
- Well we should invite Jennifer and Omar, they shouldn’t be left out. – said Robert Sean Leonard.
- Good idea.
- Okay, I will ask them. – volunteered Jesse and set off to find the two.
- Well, I am going to practice my lines – with that Robert said goodbye as well, leaving alone the two of them.
- So tonight?
- Of course, as you have already told me that I have no other choice… - she said smiling softly at him.
- Have you read the script?
- Which part?
- Where Selah comes back.
- Oh, yeah.
- You are gonna have the scene you know. – she said a little mysteriously to him.
- What scene? – he had no idea what she was hinting at.
- Oh you know the bed scene.
- Ah yes. Why? Jealous? – he winked at her which made her blush a little.
- Nooooo I am perfectly aware of the fact that Cuddy would score in the end – she said confidently with a little grin on her face.
- Really? And how do you know that?
- Well, haven’t you seen their chemistry? And I have good instincts you know. – she was smiling widely now.
- That’s great I wouldn’t want to be with anybody else, I mean House, of course. – he said while getting up, ready to leave – tonight, don’t forget!
- As if I could – ha faintly heard her murmuring, although he wasn’t sure he heard her correctly, only hoped so.
It was a great night. Lot of laughing, everybody had a good night. That was the first night he thought about what it would be like to kiss her.
They linger everywhere
Where I can’t reach you
Running is no use
There is no place to hide from you
- Do you know what day today is?
- Umm… Wednesday, or is this a tricky question? – ha asked humorously.
- Noooooo. I mean yes, it is Wednesday but what else? – she prompted.
- Umm… we didn’t arrange anything for today, right? - he asked, while desperately trying to search his memory for any clues.
- Noooooo. – she said impatiently now. Tapping her foot on the floor a little.
- Oh… it couldn’t be, could it? I mean you suuurely wouldn’t be this excited because of a little kissing scene right? - he asked with a straight face but laughter in his eyes. She only huffed a breath then said exasperatedly.
- It’s not just a little kiss. It’s a whole scene; I mean they finally got together, even if it’s just a hallucination. – she glared at him, when his grin only got bigger and bigger.
- Fine. You can laugh all you want, but to Cuddy it means a lot.
- But it doesn’t even happen to Cuddy, didn’t you mean House?
- Umm. Yes. Whatever. In the long run, Cuddy will benefit from it. That’s for sure. – she said with such determination, that he started to have a feeling they are not talking about their characters anymore.
- If you say so…
- Well, I certainly hope so – she said, and he detected something in her eyes, he didn’t see before. There was longing, pain, sadness and something he couldn’t put his finger on. She nodded and started to walk away from him, leaving him there, confused.
- This woman is going to be the death of me. And that is sure. – he muttered to himself.
It was not much later, that he realized that something in her eyes was love.
Every fiber of my body is longing, but no
It’s your turn to let me go
I was generous giving back your heart
But you broke the deal with keeping mine
- Hey, do you have plans for tonight?
- No, not really. Why? – asked Lisa with a smile.
- Well, I though we could watch some DVD and have dinner maybe. So, what do you think?
- Of course, it would be great. Only the two of us? – she asked as an after thought.
- Umm…. Yes. Is it a problem? – he asked in a surprised tone.
- No! Not at all. – she rushed to calm him.
- Are you sure? Is my wonderful company going to be good enough for you? – he asked mischievously.
- Believe me when I say that it’s going to be more than enough. – she replied with a laugh.
- Well then get going. I am starving.
- Tofu? – she grinned at him.
- I think I will pass but thank you. – he said while making a face at her, Lisa only laughed at his expression. – what about some Italian?
- That’s fine with me.
- Okay then. Let’s go to my house, and I will order on the way home.
- So is it home now? – Lisa asked when they arrived at Hugh’s house.
- You said that you would order on your way home. I just never heard you use the term home to your house even though you live here for more than 4 years now. – she said curiously.
- Well, LA became my home I guess, I just never dwell on the thought for long, you know, it’s still strange a bit. Calling home this, when my family is in London.
- Yes, I understand. – she said with a small smile. They settled into a comfortable silence, when they heard the bell.
- I am going to get it. – after a minute he came back to the kitchen and suggested that they should eat in the living-room while watching a film.
- So what do you want to watch?
- You can choose. Just not something girly. – he added as an after thought.
- You have girly films? – she asked with a wide smile, thinking she could tease him about it later on.
- Well, not me, but Rebecca, you know. – he said defensively.
- Yes, I would say the same if I were you, you big softie. – she chuckled.
- Pff.,, I am anything but soft.
- Really. Want me to prove it?
- Sure, if you can I mean. – she was openly laughing at him now. Seeing this, Hugh went over to her and picked her up in his arms without a thought and carried her to the couch while Lisa giggled uncontrollably.
- Now was that manly enough for you? – he asked winking.
- Yes, you have proven your point. – she said still smiling widely at him.
He had no idea what came over him, but in that moment he wanted nothing more than kiss her. And he did, for once in his life he did something impulsively. And it was the moment when everything started to go wrong between them. The kiss was soft at first. Tentative even. He could tell Lisa was surprised as hell, to tell the truth he was just as surprised at himself, he wanted to pull away immediately, but he felt that she was kissing back, and he soon found himself making out with his co-star passionately on his couch as if his life depended on it. He never felt that way before, his whole body was on fire, and he poured every hidden emotion in the kiss which they only broke when the need for air became unbearable. He would never forget those eyes. Filled with lust and love. But soon reality came crashing down on them, and the only thing that remained in her eyes was pain. And he knew for sure that he wouldn’t want to see that expression on her face ever again.
- I’m sorry. Jesus Lisa, I am so sorry.
- You don’t have to be sorry for anything Hugh.
- I kissed you for goodness shake!
- And I kissed you back if I am not mistaken. – she said in a small voice, full of sadness.
- Still… I shouldn’t have. I am sorry; I have no idea what cam over me. – he couldn’t meet her eyes after this blatant lie, after all he knew very well what came over him. He wanted to kiss her, it wasn’t an accident. He was attracted to her from day one, and even though he didn’t let himself acknowledge the fact he fell in love with her, somewhere along the way.
- Don’t worry, nothing happened. – she said, while he looked at her dubiously – I think, it would be the best if I go. Just promise me one thing.
- We are going to stay friends. You are not going to avoid me and wallow in guilt because of our little kiss. – she pleaded.
- I promise.
It was the second time that night that he had lied to her.
Let me go before I go insane
I taste your lips, your kisses I crave
Whispers on skin, never felt so real
Waking from this dream, I can’t stop the tears…