"It's like a sauna in here."
December 7th, 2010
2:12 a.m.
Things I DON'T want for Christmas:
- Pants that are too small
- Clock Radio
- Giant Earthworm
- Twins
- Herpes
- Portable Sauna, even though it looks really clever.
Whenever I'm in a Sauna, I like to say, "It's like a sauna in here." even when I'm by myself.
I once shared a Sauna with Ingrid Michaelson when we were on tour together in Sweden. The Swedish love Saunas. I don’t recall the Sauna ever getting hot and we ended up just sitting there in the wooden box talking about how boring it was.
Tonight I had a Sauna all to myself during a spontaneous spa visit. I decided to reward my body after sitting behind the wheel for 2000 miles. The privacy of the solo-sauna gave me an opportunity to sing and chant until I got dry mouth and shortness of breath. Apparently you lose a pint of water for every 20 minutes you spend in the heat. My masseur told me that. She was a wealth of knowledge and knew her way around the body. This made it easy for her to kick my ass and call it therapy. It was one of those rubdowns where you need a massage after the massage. So I got in the Sauna again thinking it would tame the charlie horse in my leg and/or calm the quivering in my left titty. It didn’t. Instead, all I got was a crispy case of Sauna hair.
The mountain spa also had a wicked outdoor hot tub, which was a wonderful opportunity to stare up at the Milky Way and catch accidental glimpses of old men’s asses, a preview of what mine might look like someday. It’s a good thing asses are behind us. I’d all be a lot more anal if it were up in the front.
As far as the stars, they’re all accounted for; even the tiny ones. I stayed in the water long enough to see them all while my toes shriveled up into raisins. And while it has nothing to do with the old men I shared a hot tub with, I will say from my observations that size matters.Check out this radical website that allows you to explore the relative size of things. I need reminders like this every now and then to lighten up and live it up. The music is RAD when it kicks in so have your speakers up.
(P.S. The Yoctometers would make a great band name.)
Here is it again: link
Either way, VOTE on November 2!!
