1.Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as
if you were giving baby a bottle. Coo confidently, "Thats a nice kitty."
Drop pill into its mouth.
2. Retrieve cat from top of lamp and pill from under sofa.
3. Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold cat's front paws down with left
hand and back paws down with elbow of right arm. Poke pill into its mouth
with right forefinger.
4. Retrieve cat from under bed. Get new pill from bottle. (Resist impulse
to get new cat.)
5. Again proceed as in 1, except when you have cat firmly cradled in
bottle-feeding position, sit down on...
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