The Lord of the Rings

1. Offer him Visine at inappropriate moments.
2. Mock his choice in becoming an Eye. Wouldn't a Mouth or a Hand be easier?
3. Knock on bedroom doors around Mordor late at night and complain that you had a bad dream.
4. Train his armies to sing "The Ants Go Marching One By One."
5. During secret evil plotting meetings, raise your hand and ask to go to the bathroom in a whiny voice. Squirm a lot if he says no.
6. Tell Sauron "Wormtounge said you're looking fatter."
7. Tell Wormtounge "Sauron said you're looking fatter."
8. Then throw a party and force both to sit through it. Sitting next to each...