This is such a kind thing of you to do, babe! Thankfully, I've been good lately. Just a few arguments with my family but beside that, I'm good. Thank you for making this and I'll definitely consider it if I go through shit or whatever.

Mira,this is really sweet and thoughtful for you to do.
I don't know where to start,I really don't want strangers to see my problems and I don't know who you're gonna invite here. But I guess that's the point (as long as it's not like a support group) First I wanna know,who answers our posts? Just you or can anyone?
This is really weird,so bear with me.
Um,basically I'm just really scared right now. I haven't gone to school yet but I'm afraid I will be bullied when I go next week. I was raped about a month ago and i don't want to go through that again,but basically I've been through so much since then. I've refrained from cutting again,but it's really hard sometimes. I have nightmares and depression and sometimes I want it to be over. Last Saturday,I dug my nails in myscars on my wrists and they started to bleed. And I wanted to start cutting again because the scars didn't bleed enough. I'm better than that,right? I don't know.
I'm feeling better now but I still take meds for my depression and see a psychiatrist but I have bad days so much now.

My LiamQueen <3, Omfg Mira I LOVE THIS!! I think its an AMAZING idea. For me personally, when I go through shit and stuff, I do write it down, becoz it gets rid of those feelings. Only problem I have is that I'm not always on this site nowadays (thanks to overload coursework >.>) BUT i will post I a link here to my online diary everyday, so at least its writen (Does that makes sense?)

... Mmm maybe not, okay basically I've always had my own "Dear Diary", but recently becoz I spend so much time on the laptop, I decided to do it on Wattpad, where I can upload daily entries. So everyday, I'll post a link here to my entry, if anyone of this beautiful family wants to read it :)

Heres the link!! link

Again, I love this idea!! <3 Love you my Liam <3

wow Thank you for doing this Mira it means a lot

First I'm always worried about my mum I always have been but now even more
since she almost died in hospital. I always try to do my best for her and look after her
but I never feel like I'm doing a good enough Job and sometimes it does get a lot for me
I don't mind looking after her because she is disabled but I do get tired and I just feel bad
because I want to take the pain away from her and I can't I hate to see her in so much pain

I'm going to start driving soon and I'm so scared because it looks so hard and I don't
think I will get everything I have to do and I'm worried that I will never pass my test or
learn how to drive

I'm going to start college next year and I still don't know what I fully want to do and
I'm worried about starting because I'm scared about meeting new people and getting
bullied I'm so awkward around new people I don't want them to think I am weird or just
not want to be around me. I'm also worried about people judging me or not seeing who
I really am

In the last few months my depression has gotten bad and still is at the moment because
I can't take the tablets to help it because they make me sick so I'm not coping with it
very well at the moment I have cut but I stopped and haven't for almost a month I do
think about it when I see the scars but I'm trying to stay strong and keep my mind off it

The last few weeks I have been getting more panic attacks sometimes only over a little
thing and I don't know how to handle it sometimes I get one if I am going somewhere new

I haven't been sleeping right for the past few weeks and when I do no matter how
much sleep I get I am still tired and don't have a lot of energy

I haven't been eating as much as I should because I haven't been hungry and I have
been feeling sick everyday which doesn't help with my eating

I love my family but there is always fighting either with me my mum and nan or just
my brother and mum and it's getting hard

Somedays I miss my dad and would like to know what would happen if he was around more
I will always feel like it's my fault that he left

I do try and stay strong but sometimes it does get to much

Wow,Mira! This is such a nice idea to lessen the pain of each other:):) yes,we ARE family!

Right now,Im really really worried abt my status in class:(
When i wasn't on Fanpop,i used to come 2nd or 3rd in class,now I get normal marks,they are not as awesome as it was before..
I feel so sad and bad.,its all happened becoz of Fanpop & Facebook.
I try to stay away but i couldn't control myself from signing in. I always decide at night at "NEXT DAY,I WILL SURELY DELETE MY FANPOP ACCOUNT! AND FACEBOOK TOO!" but ah! its so painful to hurt your friends by leaving!

and you know Mira,earlier..all the students in my class..used to come to me when they were unable to solve a problem in maths or science or any subject and i always solved it ,now i have become totally dumb:(

From,15th exams are starting but i still could not concentrate on studies,oh god,what should i do? Im so much worried abt my future..

Another thing which makes me worry is Hairfall:3
I dislike praising myself,but my hair was really beautiful,it was/is long and silky and soft as well..
when i stand infront of anyone,they start touching my ponytail and says like "wow" XD

But 2 weeks ago,one of my school friend,Riya..exclaimed like "OMG SINI YOUR HAIR IS BECOMING THIN DAY BY DAY! DO SOMETHING OH MY GOD,IT REALLY BECAME THIN:O"
Now,im really worried abt it,i asked my mom and searched on net abt it but whatever solution it gave,I dont think it will stop my hair from falling!:(

I dont know,if you are thinking im worried coz of silly thing,but my hair means alot to me..
I dont even use hair dryers,colours ,straighteners and all still why this is happening to my hair:(

You have no idea how much this means to me. I love how we can express our feelings and everything, and there's no one I trust more than you guys. I'll definitely write on here when I'm feeling down or just want to blow off steam. I really think this is perfect♥.

Okay so, this definitely sounds like a great place for comfort so, I'm gonna go ahead and let it out. My dad used to work in another city but he decided to come work in our city so that he can spend more time with us. But the problem is, he's been causing nothing but drama since he came back! Me and him aren't exactly close and whenever I try to bond with him, he either shuts me out or turns it into a fight so I just stopped trying. Anyway, we spent the summer with him in London and he was terrible, and I mean terrible! He let out his anger on all of us, especially mom who was sick and had really high blood pressure. He yelled at her for the silliest things and he wouldn't apologise, but he would use work as an excuse and say he's really stressed out so, he unintentionally lets it out on us. The summer ended and we came back home and then we find out, he's coming to work in our city and we'll be seeing him everyday unlike before where we only saw him twice a week. Honestly, I'm already wishing he was gone and I know it's wrong of me to say it but he's still letting his anger out and he keeps making mom cry and this morning he made me cry! My brother and I were joking around and I accidentally hit him in his leg and hurt him, dad went berserk and he literally THREW a bottle at me and almost blinded me and I couldn't stop crying. It isn't the first time he's done something like that. I tried to ignore it and I focused on studying but my hands were shaking and I was almost having a panic attack because he was yelling and he was acting like I hurt my brother on purpose and I just felt so bad. Main point: he does nothing but argue, make me and my mom cry when he yells at us, blame everyone for his shit and I'm just so done with him!

"First of all I wanna than you Mira for considering me a part of your big amazing family...Well i really don't know from where i should start but i have a lot of things to say...My dad who is a crazy person by the way i still can remember him and he was holding the knife on my mom neck and i still cry for that every day or when he slapped me and my twin sister coz we made mistakes in the maths exam and we were crying so much and it was the worst or when he put the knife on my older sister neck just becoz she refused to marry a person she doesn't love and he wanted to make her marry a person she doesn't love...Or when he was cheating my mother yes he did...Or when he beated my brother only for craps...I hate him and becoz of him i hate men all of them i just wanna leave this place immediately...
I suffer from panic attacks and my parents refuse to believe that...I can't sleep in the night : (
I am not a normal girl i have been never felt like i am a teenager i lost my best years staying at home coz i am sacred from people to judge on me...And i still scar from getting out of the house...
I am about to join to the collage and i am still a dump can't even say hallo to others...I scar so much when i go out of the house i feel like everyone staring at me...And i always feel like i am ugly person and i would never have the chance to leave from here and be free like a bird and i fee like i am gonna stay here for ever...I am now almost 19 and in Egypt girls and boys still stay at their parents house till they get married and now any man comes to the door my dad will accept him...I might can't live my late teenage life i just want to breathe the freedom even for a second...This life is not fear with me or with anyone here at all : (("

This is how I feel. Hurt. That is kind of word I'm describing right now.. I literally hurting right now.. Do you ever have that one friend who you literally would do anything to them? Do you ever feel like she love you so damn much and she makes you feel so special! Turns out, she don't actually love and care about you? Well, thats how she did to me. I feel so stupid for love her. I feel so stupid to care about her when I shouldn't. A few days ago we have a little argument.. which I start it first. And it lead to us hate each other now. I'm surprise that she didn't even care about our friendship. She just let it go and move on.. Some part of me thinking that she is a heartless woman. She saying that I'm just jealous cos she's found a new friends. What kind of jealous? Cos to be honest, she didn't talk to me like a few weeks! And she always talked to her new friends! What am I? What does "you mean everything to me" "I love you" kind of shit? Do I mean anything to her? I know her for almost 2 years now all I get was nothing. She does not even cared when I left her life. And people keep blaming me.. while they don't know my side of the story. I feel like cutting a few days back but to think of it its quite pathetic to just cut for the girl who doesn't give a shit about you. And when I block her on twitter, all she did was laugh it out and didn't say anything. Like what does 2 years of friendship means to he anyway? I just heartbroken and stupid. So apparently, this is how I feel. Some of you know who she is, and will tell her everything I don't care anymore.. if she care enough about me, she should talked to me, not leave me be and treat me like someone you just met in 2 days. #done lol

How is everyone's feeling today?

LiamQueen x

This is so sweet for you to and honestly for me I don't know where to start. I have so many problems with my dad. I don't think he really cares for me at all. He does not speak to me anymore and he does not even try to to become part of my life. My parents are separated and seeing them fight really hurts and sometimes I just got to my room and just cry for hours.I just wish he could get his life together so my family can be happy again because everyone is drifting apart. Also I have a few problems and I take meds for them and I get depressed a lot. One reason is because of my mom She yells at me about things that's not even my fault and blames it on me just because i'm the oldest and it pisses me off. I get bullied at school because I am a very different girl I should say and very weird and people don't except me for who I am. I also have problems with loving myself.I don't think I'm smart or pretty worth it at times even though people tell me I am I just don't think I am.I would come home and cry in my the corner of my rooms having thoughts of killing myself everyday. I have been having thoughts about talking my life these past couple of days because of problems at school and home. I told everyone yesterday "I just don't want to be here anymore" "I can't take it" maybe if I was dead I would not have to suffer. People make fun of me because of my culture;race;the way I dress, and the list goes on and on. I struggle with school and I think I might have a learning disorder because I see letters and numbers and they all just looked mixed up and I cant comprehend them at all. I feel like my mom only cares for the her two other kids because they are straight A kids and smart. With me I just can't seem to get everything right or perfect and I feel like a piece of crap in my own home. With no one to talk to at all. I mean I have friends at school but they don't understand and don't listen to me and i'm just lost at the moment. x

Hello,My New dear friends here:)

I wanna tell you all that Im leaving for one year because of studies and shit examinations.I know this is stupid but Im doing this so that i can gain that self confidence again:D
Once,I get my self confidence back,no one gonna stop me from being a topper ,and my real life sis also have suggested me to do this only!:)

Thanks for being so nice to me,I love ya all forever :D ♥
Take care,all of you! & Plz don't forget me XD

Omg Im scared bcoz what if,I come back..i will say "Hiiiiiiii Miraaaa,Im back^_^" and she will say like "But who are you? Sorry,I couldn't recognize you,Have we ever talked? :/ "
LOL

Bye bye,Wish me luck!:))
Always keep showing your teeth^^
Stay happy and healthy <3 :)
I will never forget you all,you all are so nice:)

Hey guys,the depressing Ari again :)
I want to just say this.
Um,I think I have bipolar depression. I want to go and get treatment but I don't know where to begin or if any Rehab facilities will accept me because I might be too young or something.
Just for the last month I have felt so so happy at times at the next moment I would be crying or severely down. A few weeks ago I stopped feeling anything altogether and I hated that feeling so much that I made myself fight out of it. But anyway,it happened again yesterday when I was at my writer's group and when I came home,I just felt this need to cut. I refrained but then I had a nightmare so bad last night,I almost cut in my sleep. It didn't make sense,like God wanted me to die or something...I wasn't even really conscious and I almost...
I haven't cut since March of this year and I have been so proud of that but sometimes I feel down again and I don't care about my pride I just want it to end or I need to escape.
So I need advice on this.
I also want you guys to know that I am so grateful for your comments. I am not that open and I keep almost everything to myself but when I posted my first "entry" a couple fays ago,I just...I knew you guys cared but people I've never really spoken to cared for me enough to take their time and offer help (Jen,Sini). I just wanted to say this whole thing has helped me immensely.
Also,I read Demi Lovato's Staying Strong book and never in a million years did I think it would help me as much as it had.
But I still am not healed even though I've had such positive thoughts and healing,I feel like I'm not even close to recovery. I want to believe in myself,but I loathe myself constantly and I am still scared because school starts Monday and I don't think I will be able to handle the stress or the bullying again. I am happy at times and depressed at others,like I said. I feel weak even though everyone says I am strong.

So here's what I feel like right now: A failure.
I have been cutting again and I hate myself so much. I hate myself because I break promises I make and make others give. I hate myself because I thought it was okay,ya know? That whatever happened in my life I would never cut again. I can't even keep that goal.
I can't talk to my friends because I want to cry every time I do. Because I know what I make them feel like: I make them feel like I don't listen. Like everything they tell me doesn't matter. And it does matter. They just don't know how weak I am. I have been taking off my anti-depressants and sleep-aids because my parents think that is the cause of my eating disorder. They stopped paying for my psychiatrist,they don't think he helps. He doesn't really,but he makes me see things clearly sometimes. And now I have lost all that.
School was okay until I defended a girl who was getting bullied,so now I am getting bullied. Again. They make fun of my cutting,they joke about the things that happened to me,they are terrible people but I can't blame them because they are true.
I wake up every morning and I don't want to do anything I like. I feel like everything I do will amount to failing. I'm weak ya know? I can't take it all. Not anymore.
I can't even kill myself right.

Well here I am, the infamous Lisha ;)
Dear Diary,
Well today was just .. i don't know. The past days for me have been pretty stressful, mainly becoz i've had so much work to do, and well just been really busy i guess :( However what i want to tell you today is something that happened. So today my mum got back from the hospital, she stayed overnight becoz my sister Houria was having a sleep study, but anyway, she got back around 9, i think? and we were all at school and well the house was a mess. So i texted my mum to tell her sorry about the mess that was left behind, just being nice and all. And so the day continued. When i got home after school today, she seemed okay, not pissed at me which was good and so i just got on with my own things. Then later on i was sitting in the frontroom, doing my work, listening to music. my mum then asks to get something for her, and so i do and then get back on with my work. then like minutes later she calls me again to do something, and then again, and i was literally so pissed off becoz she knows i have loads of coursework, but she still tells me to do things and fucking tells me that i need to help! its just soo annoying, and then eventually i sit back down my dad tells me to log off, becoz of dinner and i was just soo pissed off, in that hour? i barely got anything done ... and then during dinner my mum kept on giving me dirty looks, and like when i tried talking to her she'd just ignore me like wtf? So anyway after i cleared up from dinner, i sat in the front room to do my work becoz my back was really hurting. in the backroom my dad had zayd who was like crying mad, so my mum says, "somebody go and get zayd", SOMEBODY, right? so i go and get him and try putting him into his buggy and well he didn't want to go in, so i held him until my mum took him, and well he didn't want to go yo her, and well that pissed my mum off, and well that was it, she started on me, for no reason! saying random shit like im not his mum, that she didn't ask me (when really she did say someone), saying other stupid stuff like ipm in her way?! and well as if i'm just gonna stand there and let her talk to me like that! And well guess what the outcome of that was? her taking my laptop, telling me to go to bed. amd i was just so pissed off, like i was literally shaking becoz what did i do wrong? nothing. and so thanks to her, im even more stressed with my work, and its not fair. i wasted like two hours doing nothing and when i could've done my work >.< and so ywah, thats it. i'm also really worried about arianna, i feel so bad i can't do anything to help her! :( i feel so useless ... im supposed to be a friend.....