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Matt Bellamy



Last time we met (The Conspiracist) he was pondering the end of the world. Today, there’s troubles closer to home for him…

How the devil are you?

– I’m not in a great mind-frame… I’ve had a rough week. But we’ve been playing concerts in the UK this week that have been amazing.

What’s been the best thing about this century?

– Blimey. I have a fishbowl memory; I am not very good at retrospectives. So I am going to say our gig in Sheffield recently. The crowd were just mental. We’d played some shows in North America and Northern Europe on the tour but it was a different ballgame in Sheffield, a noticeable shift in atmosphere. It was amazing.

And the worst?

– I remember getting really drunk and eating an entire chorizo sausage while we were playing in Spain, and being sick for three whole days. Waking up in a pool of sick on the day of the concert is not a good place to be.

What’s the most extravagant thing you’ve bought in the ‘00s?

– I’ve put a deposit down on one of those Tesla cars, the electric cars. They’re about 110,000 pounds, which is pretty expensive for a car. But it won’t need petrol so I am hoping it will pay for itself in the next 30 years.

What is the most decadent party you’ve had recently?

– We don’t go that decadent any more. We had a party in Berlin and A-ha showed up to drink our champagne, but it wasn’t wild. We keep it pretty frugal these days, I am not sure there’s much room for the excesses of rock’n’roll with the way the world is now. Dom (Howard) and Tom (Kirk, Muse’s media manager/web master and Bellamy’s best friend) are both single, so they’re living the party life on behalf of everyone else. We get to hover around it, and when people start pulling their clothes off I go home and phone my girlfriend.

What are the best and the worst things about having a psychologist for a girlfriend?

– The best thing is getting free therapy and the worst thing is getting free therapy. She has a way of reading some meaning into everything you say and do, and that can do your head in: sometimes you just want to keep it shallow and talk about the weather.

Is there any chance of wedding bells? (Unintended muse-pun by the journalist)

– Um, well, you know how I said I was having a rough week? Well, it’s exactly the opposite at the moment, we’re kinda on the rocks as we speak, so who knows what the future holds?

Oops. Moving on… Hoodoo was voted Lyric Of The Decade by Q readers: which lyric are you most proud of?

– Hoodoo? That’s weird! I like, “Rise up and take the power back, it’s time the fat cats had a heart attack” from Uprising. It sums up how I and a lot of people feel about this banking crisis. Not many of those people in the high region of wealth deserve their wealth: the Duke Of Westminster is a pretty fat cat and someone should take him down! I’m coming to the conclusion that the UK needs a constitution. I’m a libertarian but it feels like a time for a drastic change. Because Britain has no constitution there’s no higher power than the government – I think that’s why the UK is getting so done over.

Have you got into trouble for your views over the years?

– I was thrown off a plane. I got searched in quite a vigorous manner before getting on a plane to America and I made a bad joke about not having a bomb on me. Two home security officers took me off and asked about my political views. I told them what they wanted to hear so that I could get back on the plane. Quite often coming to the US now I get red-flagged, taken aside and asked about my political views. Don’t make bad jokes on planes is the moral of that story.

Has conspiracy theory uber-lord David Icke been in touch yet?

– Not yet. We played the Isle Of Wight festival and he lives there, so I fancied getting him on stage to make a speech, but it never happened. I think he might think I am a lizard. Some of the real hardcore conspiracy theory types think that those who aren’t hardcore enough are working for the other side, so he might regard me as falling into that category. I’ll have to be careful.

Do you have a favourite conspiracy theory from this century?

– My favourite is that oil is endless and the notion that it will run out is a conspiracy to justify government actions… I don’t know if I believe it, but I hope it’s true – otherwise we are going to run out of oil in 10 years and all sorts of wars are going to kick off.

Well, you’ll be alright; you’ll have your electric car…

– Exactly! I’m prepared.

Can you sum up your century in a Tweet of less than 140 characters?

– It’s been a great decade, I hade some great times, had some ups and downs, but I’d do it all again.
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I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THIS. ALL RIGHTS GO TO chess_boxing ON LIVE JOURNAL. I AM SIMPLY SHARING THIS AMAZING STORY. NONE OF THIS REALLY HAPPENED. IT IS SIMPLY A FANFICTION

Warning: Language

I was woken as the bus hit a bump in the road, throwing my head sideways against the wall I'd been leaning on.

This was annoying. God knows it had taken long enough to drift off in the first place, and the light streaming through the slits in the metal panelling indicated that I hadn't been asleep long at all. The bus had no windows. Well, it had a windscreen, I expect, but not much else. Convicts on their way...
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Height: 5'2" (160 cm)





Weight: thin


Hi.


Hair: dyed blond/brunette



Eyes colour: blue


Hi.


Language: English/Italian





Occupation: model





Favourite group: Millionaire, dEUS, Rage Against The Machine



Hi







Ability: gymnastics, languages






Likes: good food, restaurants, parties and kinky sex






Dislikes: house clubs, house wives, people who talk in films




Yes, he thinks he can actually get a model!!!



Also, someone who is exactly good for him . . . .





HA!
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I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE FOLLOWING. ALL CREDIT GOES TO CHESS_BOXING ON LIVEJOURNAL. I AM SIMPLY SHARING THE STORY. I WROTE NONE OF THIS

As we neared the block that contained the canteen and our lunch, Matt tried to remember two things. Firstly, the day of the week, and secondly, the meal of that day. He was having no luck on either count. I did point out that within forty five seconds then we'd be inside and all his questions would be answered, but he shook his head furiously and shushed me. 'It's like a game, Dom,' he insisted. 'It'll be annoying me for the rest of the day if I don't get it...
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