posted by Windwakerguy430
So, when I think of trollfics, I think of stories that are made to suck on purpose. I can see why they are made, but, here’s the thing. Are they good… no. So, I want to talk about a popular one, known as the Spiderses… why is it called that? Well, lets find out. But, before I read this, I must warn you, if you have Arachnophobia, or a strong fear of spiders, then do not read this review. Trust me, if you are scared of spiders, then this will be terrifying.
So, it starts with Spike getting a spellbook for Twilight, and- Oh, god, the poor grammar. Now, I actually enjoy reading something with good grammar, and if it weren’t for my shit keyboard, I would do pretty well at grammar as well. That is why bad spelling, on purpose or not, bothers me.
So, we then get a small paragraph, which LITERALLY says this …… “it was a magic spell and she knew that it was magic which is why she casted it because her cutie mark is magic because she is a uunicorn.” Yeah, because it’s not like we would have fucking guessed that. So, Twilight shrinks and… she says that she has become a spider…. Wow, there was no build up, no suspense, not nothing. We just said, flat out, Twilight’s a spider….. Ugh, this is gonna be a long one.
So, Twilight tries to open the book, without Spike, because she’s worried he will probably kill her. Then, she hears a spider that wants to talk to her, and she says that she should talk to the spider, because, that’s what spiders have to do… Yeah, spiders HAVE to talk, they don’t have to build webs, spiders don’t have to catch food, spiders don’t have to reproduce to keep their species alive, no, they only have to talk. I’m glad the author knows SO MUCH about spiders.
So, Twilight then begins to talk to a red spider, which is a Big Mac spider…. why….. WHY?! Why is there a Big Mac spider. Just why? And if that wasn’t dumb enough, He asks for sex, and Twilight just says, “Duh, okay, lets gross out the reader and just have sex”. My, fucking, God.
So, after some time passes- Wait! Time goes by, yet no one bothers to look for Twilight? Are you telling me that her friends never bothered to go and look for her, and they just forgot about her… Well, some fucking friends they are. So, Twilight see’s that her belly has grown, and she doesn’t know why- She’s pregnant, isn’t she. Big Mac Spider tells her that she is pregnant- Yep, of fucking course.
So, after MORE time passes, Twilight begins to lay the eggs, but feels bad, because she thinks there gross. Yes, Twilight, feel bad for yourself, because YOU put yourself into this, YOU choose to get pregnant, and Spike is probably starving to death because of all this. Yes, feel bad for yourself and only yourself. So,after MORE FUCKING TIME PASSES! - Seriously, why aren’t your friends looking for you - The eggs finally hatch, and millions - and I do mean millions - of small spiders come out. Last time I checked, house spiders only lay 200 eggs, not a whole fucking colony of them. So, what is the first thing this bunch of newborn spider do… Go downstairs, attack Spike, and drain his body of his fluids, killing him. Yeah, that’s what they do. Apparently, spiders kill people with no intentions now, they just do…. Did the writer ever bother to look into spiders before writing this thing?
So, after they take over the whole library, they just start crawling around, just doing jack shit. So, Twilight has a brilliant idea… getting thrown into the large group of them. Quick question, she’s supposed to be smart, right? So, once she is in the middle of the large crowd of baby spiders, she tries to tell them to stop, but they ignore her because they don’t know that she’s their mother. Okay, I’m calling bullshit on that. That isn’t how spiders work. So, they carry her away, and Big Mac Spider goes to save her… you know, something her fiends should have been doing AGES AGO!!!
So, the spiders then go around Ponyville, just… walking, that’s all, when this brown spider, named Miriam Webster, comes out of fucking nowhere, and tells them to stop… and they just listen. So the moral of the story, everyone, is “Ignore everything your parents say, and always listen to complete and total strangers”. What a fucking brilliant moral. So, Twilight tell the baby spiders to help Spike… who is dead, how can they help…… Well, the baby spiders just barf all of his blood back into his body, and that brings him back to life….. Wow…. that was without a doubt the most poorly written moment in a fanfic I have ever seen, ever. There was no way that could happen. The writer just said, “Fuck it” and put that in the fanfic, as if everyone would be okay with it. Does it look like I’m okay to you? No. This was awful. This whole scene was awful. Let’s just get this fanfic done before I get a headache.
So, the spider is a wizard - Just, don’t judge anything. Just go along with it - And she turns Twilight and Big Mac back into ponies. Then a random alicon named Argembarger - Again, don’t judge - Comes, Twilight gets attracted by him, and then he just leaves. And so, what is the lesson Twilight learned from all of this…. “Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that spiders are creepy, but being a spider is better than being dead. Your faithful studnt, Twilight Spackle” ………….. This story is a piece of shit. Nothing more to say. It has some of the worst writing I have ever seen in any fanfic. And trust me, I have seen some REALLY bad writing. But this one really takes the cake on bad writing. You thought stories like Full Life Consequences, Day of the Blood, or Legolas By Laura were poorly written…. Well, they are, but they are NOTHING like this. But, hey, that’s only my opinion. What’s Your Take.