After getting the crowd to laugh from jokes about monkey pox, Tom waited a few seconds for everyone to settle down. He continued with more material.
Tom: So I offered to buy lunch for my mom a few days ago at a shopping mall, but she said no. I think she was trying to give me a taste of my own medicine, because when I was a colt, I was a fussy eater.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: He's fussy! He's a fussy eater! Fussy eater is a euphemism for biiiiiiiig pain in the ass.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I mean if I didn't like something, I told them. I didn't play with my food, I simply said I don't like that!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: You make this? I don't like it!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Why? They wanted reasons.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Well you don't always have a reason.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I don't know. I know I don't like it. And I know if I ate it, I would like it even less.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: You like it? You eat it!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Then they try to corner you with logic. How do you know you won't like it? If you've never even tried.....it?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It came to me in a dream!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Biiiiig pain in the ass.
Crowd: *Clapping, and whistling*
Tom: Some things I didn't like because of the sounds of the food. To this day, I still cannot eat.....Yogurt.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Yo-yogurt. It sounds like it's coming up again.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Yogurt. Yogurt. I can't eat anything with a Y, and a G in it.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Something else that doesn't sound good. Squash!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: YOU WANT SOME SQUASH?!?!?!?!?!?
Crowd: *Laughing and clapping*
Tom: Shit no! It sounds like someone sat on my dinner.
A few seconds of laughter occurred as Tom continued naming foods.
Tom: Succotash. Want some succotash? What you call me fucker?!? Oohlaheeoh!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Hey, hey, cool out. It's just lima beans, and corn, cool out.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Wheatgerm. *Goes cross-eyed while making a scary face*
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: No! Get it off my plate!!
Crowd: *Laughing, and cheering*
Tom: Even something, like. Eggplant!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Well which one is it anyway?! Tell it to make up it's mind, then come back!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Terrible sounding food. Headcheese.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: UUUHHHH!! *Slowly walks to the right* UUHHHH!!!!
Crowd: *Clapping, and cheering*
Tom: UUUHHHHHH!!!!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I can't even look at the sign!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I'll be down at the baloney. You look at it!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Between headcheese, and blood tongue, I may never eat again!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Certainly won't be at the deli. Then there are some foods that are too humorous to eat.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Did you ever hear something too funny to eat? Guacamole!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It sounds like something you wear to a dance. May I borrow your green guacamole?
Crowd: *Laughing, and whistling*
Tom: Garbanzo. Hey you want some garbanzos?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Sounds like a circus act, fillies and gentlecolts, the garbanzos!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Clapping could also be heard, but when it settled down, Tom mentioned the next food.
Tom: And the funniest food of them all. Kumquats.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I don't even bring 'em home anymore! They just go to waste.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Some things just don't look right. I don't like that ma. Don't look right to me. Did you make that? Is there a picture of it in the cookbook?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I'll bet it don't look like that.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: Let's face it, some things don't look right! But of course some ponies will eat anything. I saw a few ponies in the army at the chow line. What's this?! Never mind! Give me a whole lot of it!!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: That's rat's asshole Don.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Well it certainly makes a fucking good fondue!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Don't look right, I don't eat anything I don't recognize immediately. If I have to ask questions, fuck it. I'll pass.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Tomatoes don't look right either. On the outside, they're fine. Tomatoes look lovely on the outside, but when you take a look on the inside, something is wrong. Something has gone afoul inside of a tomato.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It doesn't look right! It doesn't look like it's finished for one thing.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It looks like it's in the larval stage of something.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: There's a thousand seeds and a whole bunch of jelly looking stuff! Uuuughh!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Sticks his tongue out while closing his eyes* Uuuuughgh!! Ullullululuuughhh!!!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Get it off my plate. Ullulllullugh! Squishy, it's like that stuff on the end of an egg. Bluugh!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: UUUGHH!!!!
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: And I know it's not the end of an egg, it's the beginning of a chicken!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It's handcum! AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!
Crowd: *Laughing, cheering, and clapping*
Tom: Get it off my plate!!!
One of the crowd members can be seen laughing while clapping.
Tom: It don't look right!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Something else that doesn't look right for food. Lobsters and crabs.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I mean anything, coming at me. *Intimidates a crab while walking on his back legs*
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Walking sideways. With big pinchers. Somehow doesn't make me hungry.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: In fact my instinct is step on that fuck!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Look at the big bug, step on the big bug!!! Before he gets to the children.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: They look like they mean business. Can't order frog's legs. Can't help but wonder, what did they do to the rest of the frog?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: What do they do? Give 'em crutches, and wheelchairs?
Tom then impersonated someone in a wheelchair while the audience clapped, and laughed.
Tom: Try. Try to return them to a normal life if you can.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Trouble is the, crutches for froggies program has been. Cut in half.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: We probably also won't see them in wheelchairs anytime soon.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I'd rather eat a box of cookies. Doesn't that always come in handy? Just eat a box of goddamn cookies. You ever do that? The whole box of cookies right in a row. I don't mean take them out, I mean eat them in the kitchen. Standing right in the kitchen eating a whole box of goddamn cookies.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Just stare at the electric clock while you're eating those cookies.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: Do you ever notice on the box, it says open here?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Well what the fuck do they think you're gonna do? Move to Beijing just to open their box of cookies?!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Of course you're going to open them here, you're going to eat them here!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: You almost, have to open them here.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Thank god it doesn't say, open somewhere else.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Shit I'd be up all night trying to find a good location.
Crowd: *Laughing*
2 B Continued
Tom: So I offered to buy lunch for my mom a few days ago at a shopping mall, but she said no. I think she was trying to give me a taste of my own medicine, because when I was a colt, I was a fussy eater.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: He's fussy! He's a fussy eater! Fussy eater is a euphemism for biiiiiiiig pain in the ass.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I mean if I didn't like something, I told them. I didn't play with my food, I simply said I don't like that!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: You make this? I don't like it!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Why? They wanted reasons.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Well you don't always have a reason.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I don't know. I know I don't like it. And I know if I ate it, I would like it even less.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: You like it? You eat it!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Then they try to corner you with logic. How do you know you won't like it? If you've never even tried.....it?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It came to me in a dream!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Biiiiig pain in the ass.
Crowd: *Clapping, and whistling*
Tom: Some things I didn't like because of the sounds of the food. To this day, I still cannot eat.....Yogurt.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Yo-yogurt. It sounds like it's coming up again.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Yogurt. Yogurt. I can't eat anything with a Y, and a G in it.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Something else that doesn't sound good. Squash!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: YOU WANT SOME SQUASH?!?!?!?!?!?
Crowd: *Laughing and clapping*
Tom: Shit no! It sounds like someone sat on my dinner.
A few seconds of laughter occurred as Tom continued naming foods.
Tom: Succotash. Want some succotash? What you call me fucker?!? Oohlaheeoh!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Hey, hey, cool out. It's just lima beans, and corn, cool out.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Wheatgerm. *Goes cross-eyed while making a scary face*
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: No! Get it off my plate!!
Crowd: *Laughing, and cheering*
Tom: Even something, like. Eggplant!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Well which one is it anyway?! Tell it to make up it's mind, then come back!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Terrible sounding food. Headcheese.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: UUUHHHH!! *Slowly walks to the right* UUHHHH!!!!
Crowd: *Clapping, and cheering*
Tom: UUUHHHHHH!!!!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I can't even look at the sign!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I'll be down at the baloney. You look at it!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Between headcheese, and blood tongue, I may never eat again!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Certainly won't be at the deli. Then there are some foods that are too humorous to eat.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Did you ever hear something too funny to eat? Guacamole!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It sounds like something you wear to a dance. May I borrow your green guacamole?
Crowd: *Laughing, and whistling*
Tom: Garbanzo. Hey you want some garbanzos?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Sounds like a circus act, fillies and gentlecolts, the garbanzos!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Clapping could also be heard, but when it settled down, Tom mentioned the next food.
Tom: And the funniest food of them all. Kumquats.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I don't even bring 'em home anymore! They just go to waste.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Some things just don't look right. I don't like that ma. Don't look right to me. Did you make that? Is there a picture of it in the cookbook?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I'll bet it don't look like that.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: Let's face it, some things don't look right! But of course some ponies will eat anything. I saw a few ponies in the army at the chow line. What's this?! Never mind! Give me a whole lot of it!!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: That's rat's asshole Don.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Well it certainly makes a fucking good fondue!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Don't look right, I don't eat anything I don't recognize immediately. If I have to ask questions, fuck it. I'll pass.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Tomatoes don't look right either. On the outside, they're fine. Tomatoes look lovely on the outside, but when you take a look on the inside, something is wrong. Something has gone afoul inside of a tomato.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It doesn't look right! It doesn't look like it's finished for one thing.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It looks like it's in the larval stage of something.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: There's a thousand seeds and a whole bunch of jelly looking stuff! Uuuughh!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Sticks his tongue out while closing his eyes* Uuuuughgh!! Ullullululuuughhh!!!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Get it off my plate. Ullulllullugh! Squishy, it's like that stuff on the end of an egg. Bluugh!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: UUUGHH!!!!
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: And I know it's not the end of an egg, it's the beginning of a chicken!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It's handcum! AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!
Crowd: *Laughing, cheering, and clapping*
Tom: Get it off my plate!!!
One of the crowd members can be seen laughing while clapping.
Tom: It don't look right!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Something else that doesn't look right for food. Lobsters and crabs.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I mean anything, coming at me. *Intimidates a crab while walking on his back legs*
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Walking sideways. With big pinchers. Somehow doesn't make me hungry.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: In fact my instinct is step on that fuck!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Look at the big bug, step on the big bug!!! Before he gets to the children.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: They look like they mean business. Can't order frog's legs. Can't help but wonder, what did they do to the rest of the frog?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: What do they do? Give 'em crutches, and wheelchairs?
Tom then impersonated someone in a wheelchair while the audience clapped, and laughed.
Tom: Try. Try to return them to a normal life if you can.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Trouble is the, crutches for froggies program has been. Cut in half.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: We probably also won't see them in wheelchairs anytime soon.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I'd rather eat a box of cookies. Doesn't that always come in handy? Just eat a box of goddamn cookies. You ever do that? The whole box of cookies right in a row. I don't mean take them out, I mean eat them in the kitchen. Standing right in the kitchen eating a whole box of goddamn cookies.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Just stare at the electric clock while you're eating those cookies.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: Do you ever notice on the box, it says open here?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Well what the fuck do they think you're gonna do? Move to Beijing just to open their box of cookies?!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Of course you're going to open them here, you're going to eat them here!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: You almost, have to open them here.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Thank god it doesn't say, open somewhere else.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Shit I'd be up all night trying to find a good location.
Crowd: *Laughing*
2 B Continued
"Ever since you started this band, you've been letting... little things get to you. I didn't say anything because I didn't feel like it was my place. Not when I'm so new to this friendship thing. I still have a lot to learn. But I do know that if you don't work out even the smallest problems right at the start, the magic of friendship can be turned into something else."
"A demon. I turned into a raging she-demon."
"I don't know. I mean, these girls, they were... There was something off about them."
" I don't think anyone is supposed to have all the answers. But you can count on your friends... to help you find them."
"I have an idea how we can get in touch with Princess Twilight!"
"None taken. Heh, I'm used to it."
"A demon. I turned into a raging she-demon."
"I don't know. I mean, these girls, they were... There was something off about them."
" I don't think anyone is supposed to have all the answers. But you can count on your friends... to help you find them."
"I have an idea how we can get in touch with Princess Twilight!"
"None taken. Heh, I'm used to it."
so as we all know, because FiM ended its run last October, Hasbro decided to pull the plug on Equestria Girls too.... without even bothering to giving it a proper close. 'cause Holidays Unwrapped sure as hell ain't no finale (not even close).
but the question is: did EqG really deserve to be cancelled like that? my answer: no. say what you want about how Hasbro treated this spin-off franchise during its lifetime, but to me personally, i think EqG had a shot at having a real conclusion (and to an extent, even a great one). there still were a lotta unanswered questions and stories to be told here. EqG might've just been a spin-off, but i say it still had potential. i mean, it was definitely better than the shit we got now (lookin' at you, Pony Life!).
but at the end of the day, Hasbro is the big boss. if they want something to end, there's nothing that can stop them. so, as much as it sucked to see get cancelled so abruptly, it was the final decision.
but the question is: did EqG really deserve to be cancelled like that? my answer: no. say what you want about how Hasbro treated this spin-off franchise during its lifetime, but to me personally, i think EqG had a shot at having a real conclusion (and to an extent, even a great one). there still were a lotta unanswered questions and stories to be told here. EqG might've just been a spin-off, but i say it still had potential. i mean, it was definitely better than the shit we got now (lookin' at you, Pony Life!).
but at the end of the day, Hasbro is the big boss. if they want something to end, there's nothing that can stop them. so, as much as it sucked to see get cancelled so abruptly, it was the final decision.