Nathan: (wanking in his coffin) Ah… Take it to the edge. Oh! Pull it back… Pull it back… Oh! Make it last, you little tease! Okay, crank it up! Crank it up! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! You love it, you beautiful bastard!
Kelly: So if you’re not dead, how come you smell so bad?
Nathan: I appear to have shat myself.
Alisha: Were you having a wank in there?
Nathan: Yeah, so what if I was? A man can’t enjoy a quick shuffle in his own coffin? It’s not like I was expecting visitors.
Nathan: I need to eat. Has anyone got a kebab?
Nathan: Yeah, so my mum opens the door and she’s like ‘Aaaaaaahh!’...