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Ponies On The Rails
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From Chibiemmy
Honey Bee From NaomiWinx
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 7: The boss of my boss is my enemy
May 25, 1951
We start this episode near the station of Cheyenne. An observation car was sitting on a siding near the line.
???: Oh my god man! How many of these engines do you still have?
Pete: The same ammount we had since 1944.
???: That's not good! We can't allow this!!!
Pete: Sir, we have a lot of engines, why do you insist on replacing some in favor of new engines?
???: You know why. We need MORE diesels, and less steam! If we don't get rid of these engines, WE'LL LOSE MONEY!!!
Pete: I think we're already losing money buying new diesels.
???: And we make money by selling the steam engines! Alright, listen. We need these engines gone within eight years, alright? Start with the switchers, than CONTINUE with the stronger engines. If you don't get the job done, you can go work for another railroad. Now get the fuck off my car!
Pete: *exits passenger car* ugh, jeez. *walks away*
Three hours later at a diner
Pete: *sighs* Thank's for taking me here Hawkeye. I really love this place.
Hawkeye: No problem boss. So, how did it go with your boss?
Pete: It was somewhere between dumb, and fuck.
Gordon: That's how it should be with everyone's boss.
Pete: Oh hell no. Not for me! I'm your boss.
Hawkeye: Hey, waitress! Three more colta colas.
Waitress: *goes to kitchen*
Gordon: So, what's so bad about your boss?
Pete: He wants to deiselize this line, that's what.
Hawkeye: Yup. I agree with this being between dumb, and fuck.
Gordon: I agree with your boss. He probably makes a lot of other good decisions.
Pete: Uh, yeah no. He doesn't.
Waitress: *Brings colts*
Hawkeye: Thanks. Here's thirty cents *Gives waitress three dimes*
Waitress: *walks away*
Gordon: So what decisions has he made that weren't good?
Pete: You really want to know?
Pete: Alright than. Sip those sodas, and get yourselves comfortable for a long night, cuz I've got a story to tell.
February 2, 1935
Pete: *narrating* It was roughly a year before we recieved our first articulated locomotives. The 4-6-6-4 challengers. At that time they would be the largest steam engines in the world, but we had other engines. 4-12-2's. We nicknamed them the 9000 class, because we numbered the engines between 9000, and 9087. I was an engineer during this time, and my boss was the controller of the section of the U.P that I worked on.
Hawkeye: What was your boss like?
Pete: He was an alicorn.
Gordon: Yup. I can see why you hate him.
Pete: He also made this daring plan for me to carry on.
Waiter: Sir? When are you three leaving? We have a party of nine coming in, and there isn't enough room for them.
Pete: Damnit. Alright you two, I'll tell you the rest tomorrow.
Hawkeye: Alright. We'll see you at the station.
The next morning, Hawkeye, and Gordon went to the station early, to hear more of Pete's story.
Pete: Alright, where was I? Oh yesh. It was 1935, five days before Hearts and Hooves day, when my boss told wanted me to do something no engineer could do before.
February 9, 1935
Pete: Uh, Kevin? I mean sir? What is my consist for today?
Kevin: You are to get a train that is 90,000 pounds worth of oil up Sherman Hill, with a 9000 class engine.
Pete: Sir, the rails are slippery. I can't get a 90,000 pound train up there.
Kevin: Yeah, well some ponies said I couldn't wear sunglasses during a snowstorm, but here I am.
Pete: Why are you wearing sunglas-
Kevin: Don't you question me! I have a horn, and wings!!
Pete: Yeah, I can see that. *goes to servicing facility*
As I got to the facility, I had to look for No. 9011. That was the engine I would use to get my train up the hill, but it wasn't there.
During the mid thirties, when Percy was a colt, his father worked on the line. Percy wouldn't start working for the Union Pacific until 1943, while Jeff started in '45.
Hawkeye: What was Percy's dad's name?
Pete: It was Danny, but he liked being called Dan. If you called him Danny, he would be very mad. He has, tourettes.
Pete: Mornin' Danny.
Pete: Great to see you too.
Dan: I'd like to see you walk a mile, in my shit!
Pete: I'd definitely like to do that.
U.P engineer: *brings engine to servicing facility*
Pete: *sees number* 9011. That's my locomotive.
Dan: *servicing engine* Tonight, on unsolved mysteries! Find out who gives a shit about Bigfoot!
Pete: *rolls eyes*
Dan: UPDATE!! Apparently no one gives a shit about him, so fuck it. *oils drive rods*
Pete: You know a lot
Dan: UPDATE!! Last night, somepony stole $50 from my home. It was either Pete Reimer, or Princess Luna!
Pete: She's in the moon, and doesn't come back for another 80 years or so!
Dan: Fuck you! Drive your engine, it's finished.
So I did. After dealing with the "Tourettes pony" I went to the yard to pick up my train. It was sixty tank cars, and a caboose.
Pete: *couples engine to train*
U.P. Conductor: *doing hoof signals*
Pete: He wants me to put the brakes on *does hoof signal, and puts on brakes*
Kevin: *climbs into cab*
Pete: Sir, what are you doing?
Kevin: I'm going to create history. I found out you're going to be the very first engineer to get a 90,000 pound train up Sherman hill.
Pete: Yeah I wonder why.
Kevin: The signal is green. Time to go.
Pete: Yup. Here we go *blows whistle*
The rails were slippery, but we didn't have any wheel spin when we left the yard. However, I was a little worried for when we would get to Sherman Hill
After leaving the yard, we drove to Sherman Hill. Our locomotive was doing 35
Kevin: You may need to go a bit faster.
Pete: How much?
Kevin: Go 40.
Pete: *makes train go 40*
We started going up the hill. It was a long way up, and despite my being nervous, I was determined to get this train up the hill.
Pete: How are we doing now?
Kevin: Excellent. We've got a steep grade here, so why don't we keep this thing at 40, and talk?
Pete: About what?
Kevin: Do you have a special somepony?
Pete: I do, my wife.
Kevin: How long have you been married?
Pete: 6 months.
Kevin: That's nice.
Pete: What about you? Any special somepony?
Kevin: I found a few mares, but I'm not entirely sure which one to ask out.
Pete: Do you think about them a lot?
Kevin: Yeah. Sometimes I think about being in bed with them.
Pete: wow. Good luck with that. If you get to that.
U.P engineer: *driving past Pete*
Kevin: He's lucky to go downhill.
Pete: Don't remind me.
However, the train that passed us had grease leaking out of it's engine. And it was on a switch we would pass soon.
Kevin: That grease could be a problem. Make this thing go faster!
Pete: *accelerates to 45*
Kevin: *shoveling coal*
Pete: *pours sand on rails*
Kevin: Good thinking.
Sand prevents an engine's wheels from slipping. It was a good thing our sander didn't freeze up, otherwise we wouldn't have passed the grease.
Pete: Wait a minute, there's still grease on those tracks.
Kevin: You still got the sand going?
Pete: Yeah, but I'm not sure how much we have left.
Kevin: Stay here, I'll go check *flies out of cab*
Pete: *keeping control of train*
Kevin: *comes back* We have a lot of sand.
Pete: Good. We'll make it.
Halfway up, we got passed all the grease
Pete: *stops sand*
Kevin: Good work.
Pete: Now, we got smooth sailing from here.
Or did we? Before we reahed the top of the hill, there was a peice of track covered up in ice. Neither of us saw it.
Suddenly, when the wheels hit the ice, they spun, causing our train to slow down
Pete: We lost traction.
Kevin: The Sand! Use the sand
Pete: *pours sand on rails*
Kevin: The wheels are still slipping. *applies brakes*
Pete: We're sliding downhill!
Kevin: Oh shit. *releases brakes*
Pete: *pushes lever*
The wheels still didn't get any traction as we slowly moved down the hill.
Kevin: I have another plan *leaves cab*
Pete: What is he doing now?
Kevin: *magically moves train*
Pete: Kevin, what are you doing?
Kevin: Using magic. Keep the train going past the ice.
I just did what I was told. After all, there was an alicorn helping out.
Soon, we were passed the ice.
Kevin: *gets back in cab*
Pete: Alright. Good job.
Kevin: Yeah, thanks.
And soon, we reached the top of the hill.
Pete: Well, that's about all I got to tell you.
Hawkeye: It was a great story, but you said all those decisions he made were dumb. How were any of them dumb?
Pete: Ok, well remember the part where he said that he would create history for getting a train up sherman hill?
Gordon: Yeah, so?
Pete: He should've said I would be creating history. I drove the train, and he just didn't do shit. Except for when he used magic to get us passed the ice. That was cool.
Hawkeye: Yep. *walks away*
Gordon: *does the same*
Pete: Well, it sucks that they don't care.
On the next episode of Ponies On The Rails
Gordon returns to his stupidity