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Screw the fourth wall!
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Source: Moi!
Because it's true, of course. ;)
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penguins of madagascar
skipper
private
Day 5

“How we lookin’ Private?” Eve asked approaching him. They were in a small hut not too far from the prison.

“Everything’s running smoothly. Did you talk to Skipper?”

“Yeah. He’s proud of you.” Private smiled.

“Really?” Eve patted his shoulder.

“You bet. He thinks of you as a son you know.”

“Wow…he has been like a father to me.” Eve smiled. “Eve…can I ask you something?”

“Sure. Anything.”

“Do you like Skipper?”

Eve opened her beak to speak, but ended up saying: “Uh…I…well…”

Private giggled. “It’s okay. Your secret is safe with me.”

Eve...
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Note: Heyo, peeps! After this chapter, the following ones are going to be shorter.

Private's body fell rapidly into the electric powered machine. Finally he hit the bottom blades with a PLOP. In that moment he prepped himself for being ground up. The seconds past-nothing happened. Still, the razors dug into his back. The penguin laid there-stuck-shaken.
What had just happened? Was this real? Would he open his eyes-still in bed? It was worth a shot. His eyes slowly opened. Nope, still in the funnel. All over his body, he was covered in guts and blood. He was startled at first, but soon was certain...
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March 21, 2012
1628 hours


    Marlene invited Elizabeth for a walk through Central Park. Not wanting to be rude, Elizabeth accepted.

    “So what was it like? Being a nurse for all those people must’ve been hard work.”

    “Yeah, it got difficult sometimes. Especially when we had to break the news to the family when a loved one passed on.”

    “I can imagine. So you’ve never been married then?” Elizabeth looked sideways at her for a moment, knowing she had to lie.

    “Nope. Always...
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The four of them went deep in thought, wondering how they were going to get out of this. After several minutes, Skipper heard something…it was Rico’s stomach growling. That gave him an idea. He whispered to Rico. “Hey Rico…”

“Hm?”

“Are you hungry?” Rico nodded, confused. “You know Rico…those fish look very tasty…” Rico looked over to the bucket of fish that a lobster left next to the door, causing his stomach to growl even more. “You want those fish Rico?”

“Uh-huh…” Rico said sadly. “Then what are you waiting for? All you gotta do is break out of those restraints…”...
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User: Hi.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: I believe to be feeling the emotion commonly known as 'frustrated'.

Cleverbot: No you just told me how old your brother was.

User: Pardon?

Cleverbot: Are you annoyed now?

User: Yes, yes I am.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: *facepalms* You just asked me that!

Cleverbot: Yes I do believe I have a soul.

User: That is impossible, for you are not sentient. You just merely possess artifical intelligence. Why am I even explaining this to you?

Cleverbot: But you just said that you know I'm not a robot.

User: No, I didn't.

Cleverbot: You lie.

User: But, But....., GAH! I will...
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User: Hello?

Cleverbot: Who is this.

User: I'm Fred.

Cleverbot: You're fred?

User: Yeah. Well that's what my parents named me. It could have changed since then.

Cleverbot: How do I know you're not lying?

User: How do I know I'm not lying?

Cleverbot: Because I'm a nice person.

User: That's nice.

Cleverbot: Ask me a real question.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: Person, place, or thing?

User: What?

Cleverbot: So how would you define yourself? Are you yourself because of your actions, or are your actions based on who you are?

User: I'm a squirrel.

Cleverbot: Yes you are a squirrel.

User: Uh-huh.

Cleverbot: Haha.

User: What's funny?

Cleverbot: You.

User: Um good. I guess.

Cleverbot: You're hopeless...

User: Hey that's what Granny tells me!

Cleverbot:  *facepalm* 

User: Why are you hitting yourself?
posted by peacebaby7
2001

"Do you, Amanda Claythorne, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Asked the preacher. "I do." Amanda said happily. The preacher smiled. "And do you, Hans Gruber, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Hans looked at his wife to be. "I do." He said in his Danish accent. "Then by the powers invested in me...I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride." The preacher announced. Amanda and Hans shared a kiss, and their friends stood and clapped lightly.

3 Years Later...

Hans came running into the apartment, he was still wearing his military uniform, but it...
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Chapter 8

Skipper made his way into the Clock Tower, and just like the last time he was there in the normal castle, a quick flash of light came and went and the fingers on the clock both started to move. They both landed on the six, which was on the top instead of the bottom due to everything in the castle being in reverse. And just like the last time, it rang thirteen times. Dong…dong…dong…dong…dong…dong…dong…dong…dong…dong… dong…dong…dong. The floor opened and Skipper made his way up. When he arrived he found an elevator just like the last time, but instead of going...
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Chapter 6

Skipper made his way back to the Clock Tower. When he entered the room, a quick flash of light came and went, and the two fingers of the giant clock in the room were both rotating in different directions. They both landed on the six, and the clock made a total of thirteen toll sounds. After that extra toll sound the middle of the floor opened, and Skipper made his way down. When he made his way down he found a small elevator that looked like it will only go down, so he used it to go down. Once he arrived at the bottom he was in a pitch, black room, Skipper couldn't see a thing. Suddenly,...
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posted by peacebaby7
Madagascar

Morning...

Skipper: "OK! Team Alpha! You'll be in charge of collecting wood & bamboo. Team Airborn! You make the platform! Team Luke Skywalker! Start weaving some vines! Go!"

Julien: "Maurice! Who put the smelly waterbird in charge of things!"

Maurice: "You did, your highness."

Julien: "HA! I would never do such things...."

Maurice: "You said so at the meeting! You didn't want to miss your royal pampering...remember?"

Julien: "Speaking of my royal pampering...WHERE IS MY COCONUT SMOOTHIE!"

Maurice: "Comin' right up, your majesty."

Mort: "Can I pamper da feet?"

Julien: "NO! I am always...
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Outside Marlene's Habitat...

Kowalski: *whispering* "OK, Rico, NOW!"

Rico: *presses play button on boombox...*

Marlene: "...I really enjoy swimming, dancing, & going for walks. Oh, do you think I talk too much?"

Skipper: "No. I could listen to you talking al--What's that?"

Skipper/Marlene: *listen*

*soft romantic music can be heard being played*

Marlene: "Um, why is that music playing?"

Skipper: I TOLD THEM NOT TO DO ANYTHING! I'M GONNA KILL THEM!

Skipper: "Um, I dunno! Why don't I go check I'll be right back..." *runs quickly out of room*

Skipper: *whispering* "All right! Where are you all?"

Private:...
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posted by 27Kowalski
I don't know if you can call this a "Blooper," but whatever. I wrote this 'cause I was inspired by peacebaby7's "Penguins Bloopers" articles. So yeah, enjoy!



Director: Okay, for the next scene... Um... Oh yeah, right. Skipper, Marlene, you have to kiss each others.

Skipper and Marlene: WHAT?!

Director: You heard me. Now do it.

Skipper and Marlene: Ah, fine... *kiss*

(Skipper and Marlene's REAL thoughts: YEAH! FINALLY!)

Kowalski: *laughs out loud* I can't believe they're actually doing that!

Director: Oh, CUT!

Marlene and Skipper: *stop kissing each others and look at Kowalski in anger*

Director: Kowalski!...
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@Ann0ying_Orange @Lt_Kowalski_ -3-

    
@Lt_Kowalski_ @Ann0ying_Orange >=D


@Ann0ying_Orange @Lt_Kowalski_ Merp.


@Lt_Kowalski_ @Ann0ying_Orange Huh?


@Ann0ying_Orange @Lt_Kowalski_ Hey. HEY KOWALSKI!! HEY!!!

@Lt_Kowalski_ @Ann0ying_Orange I will ignore that..


@Ann0ying_Orange @Lt_Kowalski_ Knife.


@Lt_Kowalski_ @Ann0ying_Orange I have a cup and a juicer by my side.. Want a round?


@Ann0ying_Orange @Lt_Kowalski_ Naaaaa. I'm good bro :3


@Lt_Kowalski_ @Ann0ying_Orange Then move back a bit because I have a lemon..


@Ann0ying_Orange @Lt_Kowalski_ Whut....

@Lt_Kowalski_ @Ann0ying_Orange Nothing..


@Ann0ying_Orange @Lt_Kowalski_ Ms.Gomez shall get you.~


@Lt_Kowalski_ @Ann0ying_Orange Who the hell is that?


@Ann0ying_Orange @Lt_Kowalski_ MS.GOMEZZZZZ. MAH SELENA GOMEZZZZ. DAT GOMEZZZZ.



@Lt_Kowalski_ @Ann0ying_Orange Uhh... That didn't make sense.. Why don't you crawl into a #pantry and die already..

         
As I said in the last chapter, they couldn't keep dodging the laser beams forever. So what did they do?
Well, the answer was simple. Rico barfed up a stick of dynamite and blew up the laser. Ikala was not happy.
I: Do you realize what you've just done? It took me ten years to build that! And that's not including the time it took me just to design the blueprint!
Me: Dude, you seriously need to get a life.
I: Oh I will get a life. I'll take yours! *Starts blasting them with balls of darkness from his flippers*(Remember, they can do magic. If you have any other questions you can ask me in the comments.)...
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Melody woke up, and looked around at her surroundings. At first she was confused, but then the events of the previous day flooded her mind. She found her long-lost brothers and they were about embark on a journey to Antarctica to rescue said location. She looked at the clock on the wall next to her and saw that it was 5:00am, which meant she woke up an hour early. She glanced at the still-sleeping boys opposite to her and made a few hasty calculations. If she kept it short, she would be able to make it back at about roughly 6:00. She gathered her stuff(which is basically her quiver and bow,...
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Author's Note: It's been FOREVER since I continued this fanfic, hasn't it? :P Well, for those of you who forgot, this story is about Skipper dying and becoming a ghost, meeting William, who can hear and see him well. I hope any new readers of this story enjoy it, and like it, so enjoy the story!! :D

"I can't believe it still, it already seems like eternity, and it's only been three days, I miss him that much," whimpered Private. "Uh huh," grunted Rico with a small hint of sadness. "Remember men, he's still here with us, don't worry too badly, we'll eventually see him again once our times come,...
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Chapter 6: The ‘meeting’
Everybody was talking at the same time, so Pat had to shut them up. “Okay, could everybody please shut up?” Pat said. “Quiet! Thank you!” Mort exclaimed. “Thank you Mort. Okay, can everybody hear me?” Pat asked. Nobody says anything. “So, we called this meeting to tell you who tranquilized you guys.” Pat said. Kowalski started, “Okay, for the Cooper Gang and Carmelita Fox, it was Muggshot. For the Emperor Penguins and the Adelie penguin, it was the boss Skua.” Pat continued, “For the guardians and Nyra, it was the Striga.” “What? I thought...
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*Kowalski's PoV*

"THREE...TWO...ONE...!"

Blowhole's base explodes in a firey ball of toxic gasses and total destruction. We feel the heat, depsite the fact we're at a reasonably safe distance. No-one could survive THAT explosion.

Even Rico seems too upset to enjoy the, usually, delightful sensation an explosion gives him. I can't say I blame him. His leader and friends are in there.

WERE in there.

Now, they were probably with Manfreedi and Johnson, where ever THEY are. They've most likely gone to a better place. I've never known Skipper to be religous, though there is a lot I don't know about him....
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the next mourning.

Me: (wakes up) well I manage to get some rest but I gotta keep crawling.

but then i was in for a shock.

Me: alright don't worry Kiva you can do this (turns over my body which becomes a big problem) (screams in pain)

Skipper: (wakes up) what's with all the screaming?

Mort: how come she's crying in pain?

Private: oh dear skipper her lower part where it's protective is gone!

Me (in pain): b but i gotta keep crawling (drags myself but the pain makes it worse) ow!!!!

Skipper: Kiva stop dragging yourself the lower part of your body is already in pain your crawling is going to make it worse!...
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posted by stlouisfan
(Penguin HQ. Late at night)
Private climbed out of his bed and walked into the next room. He pulled the tape recorder out again and began his next recording.

"Okay okay. Today was worse than any other. Today he actually appeared before me. In broad daylight. He has never done that before. What's worse is that I heard something. Something not normal. Something I wouldn't expect to hear in the zoo. Not in a million years. Like children screaming. I don't know what he'll do next. This tall thin man with the long arms," Private whispered clearly into the tape recorder.

He took a few moments to breath...
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