Votive Offering in the Spanish Style
I want to build for you, Madonna, my mistress,
An underground altar in the depths of my grief
And carve out in the darkest corner of my heart,
Far from worldly desires and mocking looks,
A niche, all enameled with azure and with gold,
Where you shall stand, amazed Statue,
With my polished Verses as a trellis of pure metal
Studded cunningly with rhymes of crystal,
I shall make for your head an immense Crown,
And from my Jealousy, O mortal Madonna,
I shall know how to cut a cloak in a fashion,
Barbaric, heavy, and stiff, lined with suspicion,
Which, like a sentry-box, will enclose your charms,
Embroidered not with Pearls, but with all of my Tears !
Your Gown will be my Desire, quivering,
Undulant, my Desire which rises and which falls,
Balances on the crests, reposes in the troughs,
And clothes with a kiss your white and rose body.
Of my Self-respect I shall make you Slippers
Of satin which, humbled by your divine feet,
Will imprison them in a gentle embrace,
And assume their form like a faithful mold,
If I can't, in spite of all my painstaking art,
Carve a Moon of silver for your Pedestal,
I shall put the Serpent which is eating my heart
Under your heels, so that you may trample and mock,
Triumphant queen, fecund in redemptions,
That monster all swollen with hatred and spittle.
You will see my Thoughts like Candles in rows
Before the flower-decked altar of the Queen of Virgins,
Starring with their reflections the azure ceiling,
And watching you always with eyes of fire.
And since my whole being admires and loves you,
All will become Storax, Benzoin, Frankincense, Myrrh,
And ceaselessly toward you, white, snowy pinnacle,
My turbulent spirit will rise like a vapor.
Finally, to complete your role of Mary,
And to mix love with inhumanity,
Infamous pleasure! of the seven deadly sins,
I, torturer full of remorse, shall make seven
Well sharpened Daggers and, like a callous juggler,
Taking your deepest love for a target,
I shall plant them all in your panting Heart,
In your sobbing Heart, in your bleeding Heart !
***************************************************
A UNE MADONNE
Ex-voto dans le goût espagnol
Je veux bâtir pour toi, Madone, ma maîtresse,
Un autel souterrain au fond de ma détresse,
Et creuser dans le coin le plus noir de mon coeur,
Loin du désir mondain et du regard moqueur,
Une niche, d'azur et d'or tout émaillée,
Où tu te dresseras, Statue émerveillée.
Avec mes Vers polis, treillis d'un pur métal
Savamment constellé de rimes de cristal
Je ferai pour ta tête une énorme Couronne,
Et dans ma Jalousie, ô mortelle Madone
Je saurai te tailler un Manteau, de façon
Barbare, roide et lourd, et doublé de soupçon,
Qui, comme une guérite, enfermera tes charmes,
Non de Perles brodé, mais de toutes mes Larmes!
Ta Robe, ce sera mon Désir, frémissant,
Onduleux, mon Désir qui monte et qui descend,
Aux pointes se balance, aux vallons se repose,
Et revêt d'un baiser tout ton corps blanc et rose.
Je te ferai de mon Respect de beaux Souliers
De satin, par tes pieds divins humiliés,
Qui, les emprisonnant dans une molle étreinte
Comme un moule fidèle en garderont l'empreinte.
Si je ne puis, malgré tout mon art diligent
Pour Marchepied tailler une Lune d'argent
Je mettrai le Serpent qui me mord les entrailles
Sous tes talons, afin que tu foules et railles
Reine victorieuse et féconde en rachats
Ce monstre tout gonflé de haine et de crachats.
Tu verras mes Pensers, rangés comme les Cierges
Devant l'autel fleuri de la Reine des Vierges
Etoilant de reflets le plafond peint en bleu,
Te regarder toujours avec des yeux de feu,
Et comme tout en moi te chérit et t'admire,
Tout se fera Benjoin, Encens, Oliban, Myrrhe,
Et sans cesse vers toi, sommet blanc et neigeux,
En Vapeurs montera mon Esprit orageux.
Enfin, pour compléter ton rôle de Marie,
Et pour mêler l'amour avec la barbarie,
Volupté noire! des sept Péchés capitaux,
Bourreau plein de remords, je ferai sept Couteaux
Bien affilés, et comme un jongleur insensible,
Prenant le plus profond de ton amour pour cible,
Je les planterai tous dans ton Coeur pantelant,
Dans ton Coeur sanglotant, dans ton Coeur ruisselant !
I want to build for you, Madonna, my mistress,
An underground altar in the depths of my grief
And carve out in the darkest corner of my heart,
Far from worldly desires and mocking looks,
A niche, all enameled with azure and with gold,
Where you shall stand, amazed Statue,
With my polished Verses as a trellis of pure metal
Studded cunningly with rhymes of crystal,
I shall make for your head an immense Crown,
And from my Jealousy, O mortal Madonna,
I shall know how to cut a cloak in a fashion,
Barbaric, heavy, and stiff, lined with suspicion,
Which, like a sentry-box, will enclose your charms,
Embroidered not with Pearls, but with all of my Tears !
Your Gown will be my Desire, quivering,
Undulant, my Desire which rises and which falls,
Balances on the crests, reposes in the troughs,
And clothes with a kiss your white and rose body.
Of my Self-respect I shall make you Slippers
Of satin which, humbled by your divine feet,
Will imprison them in a gentle embrace,
And assume their form like a faithful mold,
If I can't, in spite of all my painstaking art,
Carve a Moon of silver for your Pedestal,
I shall put the Serpent which is eating my heart
Under your heels, so that you may trample and mock,
Triumphant queen, fecund in redemptions,
That monster all swollen with hatred and spittle.
You will see my Thoughts like Candles in rows
Before the flower-decked altar of the Queen of Virgins,
Starring with their reflections the azure ceiling,
And watching you always with eyes of fire.
And since my whole being admires and loves you,
All will become Storax, Benzoin, Frankincense, Myrrh,
And ceaselessly toward you, white, snowy pinnacle,
My turbulent spirit will rise like a vapor.
Finally, to complete your role of Mary,
And to mix love with inhumanity,
Infamous pleasure! of the seven deadly sins,
I, torturer full of remorse, shall make seven
Well sharpened Daggers and, like a callous juggler,
Taking your deepest love for a target,
I shall plant them all in your panting Heart,
In your sobbing Heart, in your bleeding Heart !
***************************************************
A UNE MADONNE
Ex-voto dans le goût espagnol
Je veux bâtir pour toi, Madone, ma maîtresse,
Un autel souterrain au fond de ma détresse,
Et creuser dans le coin le plus noir de mon coeur,
Loin du désir mondain et du regard moqueur,
Une niche, d'azur et d'or tout émaillée,
Où tu te dresseras, Statue émerveillée.
Avec mes Vers polis, treillis d'un pur métal
Savamment constellé de rimes de cristal
Je ferai pour ta tête une énorme Couronne,
Et dans ma Jalousie, ô mortelle Madone
Je saurai te tailler un Manteau, de façon
Barbare, roide et lourd, et doublé de soupçon,
Qui, comme une guérite, enfermera tes charmes,
Non de Perles brodé, mais de toutes mes Larmes!
Ta Robe, ce sera mon Désir, frémissant,
Onduleux, mon Désir qui monte et qui descend,
Aux pointes se balance, aux vallons se repose,
Et revêt d'un baiser tout ton corps blanc et rose.
Je te ferai de mon Respect de beaux Souliers
De satin, par tes pieds divins humiliés,
Qui, les emprisonnant dans une molle étreinte
Comme un moule fidèle en garderont l'empreinte.
Si je ne puis, malgré tout mon art diligent
Pour Marchepied tailler une Lune d'argent
Je mettrai le Serpent qui me mord les entrailles
Sous tes talons, afin que tu foules et railles
Reine victorieuse et féconde en rachats
Ce monstre tout gonflé de haine et de crachats.
Tu verras mes Pensers, rangés comme les Cierges
Devant l'autel fleuri de la Reine des Vierges
Etoilant de reflets le plafond peint en bleu,
Te regarder toujours avec des yeux de feu,
Et comme tout en moi te chérit et t'admire,
Tout se fera Benjoin, Encens, Oliban, Myrrhe,
Et sans cesse vers toi, sommet blanc et neigeux,
En Vapeurs montera mon Esprit orageux.
Enfin, pour compléter ton rôle de Marie,
Et pour mêler l'amour avec la barbarie,
Volupté noire! des sept Péchés capitaux,
Bourreau plein de remords, je ferai sept Couteaux
Bien affilés, et comme un jongleur insensible,
Prenant le plus profond de ton amour pour cible,
Je les planterai tous dans ton Coeur pantelant,
Dans ton Coeur sanglotant, dans ton Coeur ruisselant !
Life is filled with transitions.
young become old, rainbows dissapper,
self-esteem can be discouraged, courage
can become fear.
Happy faces and joyful hearts, can sometimes be sad. Sunny days with frustrations, can cause
perfectly good day to go bad.
Seconds change into minutes, minutes change into
hours. A seed planted in soil with the proper
rain and sunlight, can grow into a lovely flower.
friendships may grow distant because of problems and pain. Times are filled with transitions, but I love you just the same.
young become old, rainbows dissapper,
self-esteem can be discouraged, courage
can become fear.
Happy faces and joyful hearts, can sometimes be sad. Sunny days with frustrations, can cause
perfectly good day to go bad.
Seconds change into minutes, minutes change into
hours. A seed planted in soil with the proper
rain and sunlight, can grow into a lovely flower.
friendships may grow distant because of problems and pain. Times are filled with transitions, but I love you just the same.
Forgive my bitterness
I never knew my heart was this cold
Please oh please forgive me
Please
My words cut like knives
They hurt and bleed others
Oh what pain I've caused
Oh and what pain I feel
Forgive me
I never knew I could hurt
I just feel bad now
For what I've caused in life
I made good, bad
I made beauty, ugly
I made fun, dull
I turned healing into suffering
I know I was bad
But I feel remorse
I feel bad
I feel bad now
Listen to me
Listen my love
I will not shatter
Your fragile heart
Never again
We'll be okay
And love again
Everyone will know now
That I will show love
Hate is gone
It's buried
Beneath the ground
Love glows in the darkness of hate
But why so much hate?
Love feels better
Towards everything
So why oh why so much pain?
Hate cuts like a knife
But love can heal
So why try to hurt
When you can heal
I never knew my heart was this cold
Please oh please forgive me
Please
My words cut like knives
They hurt and bleed others
Oh what pain I've caused
Oh and what pain I feel
Forgive me
I never knew I could hurt
I just feel bad now
For what I've caused in life
I made good, bad
I made beauty, ugly
I made fun, dull
I turned healing into suffering
I know I was bad
But I feel remorse
I feel bad
I feel bad now
Listen to me
Listen my love
I will not shatter
Your fragile heart
Never again
We'll be okay
And love again
Everyone will know now
That I will show love
Hate is gone
It's buried
Beneath the ground
Love glows in the darkness of hate
But why so much hate?
Love feels better
Towards everything
So why oh why so much pain?
Hate cuts like a knife
But love can heal
So why try to hurt
When you can heal
Some day earth will cease to be
And with it, so will I.
I don't mind the leaving,
But I'd like to say goodbye.
Before I am swept away
In an unknown swell,
I wish the world would warn me
So I can say farewell
To the world that's sheltered me,
My home for many years.
It is far from perfect;
It coldly watched my tears.
As my mind grew far too much,
Its pressure never ceased,
Though I suppose that was my fault.
I'm the beauty, I'm the beast.
And that's why I fear going,
Though where, no one can say;
Wherever I go, so comes my mind,
I have no hideaway.
I don't think I'd mind nothingness,
But infinity with my head?
I'd rather live forever
With a monster under the bed.
Give me something I can fight,
I'll leave it black and blue,
But how can you beat a monster
That lives inside of you?
Some people fear the darkness.
Some people are not me.
I don't fear oblivion,
I fear eternity.
~an original poem by me~
And with it, so will I.
I don't mind the leaving,
But I'd like to say goodbye.
Before I am swept away
In an unknown swell,
I wish the world would warn me
So I can say farewell
To the world that's sheltered me,
My home for many years.
It is far from perfect;
It coldly watched my tears.
As my mind grew far too much,
Its pressure never ceased,
Though I suppose that was my fault.
I'm the beauty, I'm the beast.
And that's why I fear going,
Though where, no one can say;
Wherever I go, so comes my mind,
I have no hideaway.
I don't think I'd mind nothingness,
But infinity with my head?
I'd rather live forever
With a monster under the bed.
Give me something I can fight,
I'll leave it black and blue,
But how can you beat a monster
That lives inside of you?
Some people fear the darkness.
Some people are not me.
I don't fear oblivion,
I fear eternity.
~an original poem by me~
My senses all are backwards
and it really makes me wonder
if on the day that I was born
somebody made a blunder.
For, strange but true, my senses
all got totally reversed.
Now everything I like the best
is what you'd call the worst.
I only like the smell of things
that frighten other noses.
I love the odor of a skunk.
I hate the smell of roses.
I only like the taste of foods
that cause most folks to shiver.
I hate the taste of chocolate.
I'm crazy over liver.
I'm not too fond of music
but there's simply no denying
I like the sound of honking horns
and little babies crying.
I hate the feel of silky, velvet
softness on my skin.
I much prefer the way it feels
when sitting on a pin.
I hate the look of anything
that's really cute and snuggly.
The things I think are pretty
are what most consider ugly.
So let me tell you one more thing
before I have to go:
I think YOU are the most attractive
person that I know.
and it really makes me wonder
if on the day that I was born
somebody made a blunder.
For, strange but true, my senses
all got totally reversed.
Now everything I like the best
is what you'd call the worst.
I only like the smell of things
that frighten other noses.
I love the odor of a skunk.
I hate the smell of roses.
I only like the taste of foods
that cause most folks to shiver.
I hate the taste of chocolate.
I'm crazy over liver.
I'm not too fond of music
but there's simply no denying
I like the sound of honking horns
and little babies crying.
I hate the feel of silky, velvet
softness on my skin.
I much prefer the way it feels
when sitting on a pin.
I hate the look of anything
that's really cute and snuggly.
The things I think are pretty
are what most consider ugly.
So let me tell you one more thing
before I have to go:
I think YOU are the most attractive
person that I know.
we tie time
in knots and try
to connect the dots,
but time was meant
to measure between
things and all
we’re measuring
is the difference
between his time
and my time
or between this time
and last time.
30 seconds in the microwave
means nothing
until those 30 seconds
could have been spent
eating the food,
talking to a sister,
or practicing that new
dance move which is only
new because it is newer
than those other moves
because its distance
is shorter to the present
than the other dance class
and not because
it is the next big thing,
although that makes a different
move new.
what i mean to say
is that time is overused,
overemphasized. we give
time the throne
and it rules and makes rules.
we follow them
because we like to think
that time is important
and we are important
and our time is gold,
but even gold
would have no value
if there were an endless supply,
and time is endless, but
not for us, but
time is endless nevertheless.
in knots and try
to connect the dots,
but time was meant
to measure between
things and all
we’re measuring
is the difference
between his time
and my time
or between this time
and last time.
30 seconds in the microwave
means nothing
until those 30 seconds
could have been spent
eating the food,
talking to a sister,
or practicing that new
dance move which is only
new because it is newer
than those other moves
because its distance
is shorter to the present
than the other dance class
and not because
it is the next big thing,
although that makes a different
move new.
what i mean to say
is that time is overused,
overemphasized. we give
time the throne
and it rules and makes rules.
we follow them
because we like to think
that time is important
and we are important
and our time is gold,
but even gold
would have no value
if there were an endless supply,
and time is endless, but
not for us, but
time is endless nevertheless.