It's a Pokemon Christmas
[The camera zooms in on Pallet Town and into Ash's house. Ash and Pikachu are sleeping in the bed. Ash's alarm clock goes off and sleigh bells are heard. Ash wakes up.]
Ash: [groans as he stretches his arms] Ahh, a beautiful morning. [He strokes Pikachu's fur] Pikachu, wake up, buddy.
[Pikachu woke up and rubs his eyes and yawns "Chaaaa"]
Pikachu: Pika Pika Pi.
Ash: Look, buddy, it's drawing very near. Our favorite time of the year. [He jumps out of bed] The snow is falling and the cold wind blows. [He changed his night wear into his Kalos outfit] Christmas is almost here. And I know that Santa has his jolly little eyes on both of us! [He spins Pikachu around, making him laugh]
[Ash and Pikachu walks over to Misty's gym where Misty is putting up lights]
Ash: Hi, Misty. What are you doing today?
Misty: Stringing lights so Santa knows, in no uncertain terms...[Turns the lights on] ...to have a Merry Christmas!!! By the way, my sisters are in the naughty list, again, but I'm a good girl. (giggles)
Ash: I know because you're a gym leader.
Misty: Merry Christmas, Ash.
Ash: Merry Christmas, Misty. [He walks up to Clemont doing a Christmas experiment and Bonnie next to a box on a stick tied with string to a cookie] Hey, Clemont. Hey, Bonnie.
[sees the box] What's that?
Bonnie: It's a trap! A trap for Santa!
Ash: Baited with Christmas treats?
Clemont: I told her not to trap Santa using her tricks.
Bonnie: [singing to the tune of "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"] I will trap Santa in my box, locked up like Fort Knox and make him stop the clocks. And then we'll have Christmas all year long! Look, Dedenne, a cookie! [Bonnie goes for the cookie and the box traps her.]
Clemont: The future is now in, thanks to science. Oh, Christmas is sweet mystery. I'll mix a dash of Christmas cheer with a candy cane and deconstructed alchemy.
Ash: Science is so amazing.
[Serena arrives with Fennekin in her arms]
Ash: Hi, Serena!
Serena: Hi, baby! Hi, Pikachu. (She pets Pikachu's head)
Ash: (he kisses Serena's cheek) Are you ready for Christmas?
Serena: Yeah, Christmas is my favorite time of the year!
Bonnie: After all, 'tis the season of getting!
Ash: Don't you mean the season of giving?
Bonnie: Exactly! The more you give, the more I get.
[The gang laughs]
Jessie: Prepare for trouble of our best Christmas!
James: And make it double for our jolly business!
Jessie: To protect the world with devastation!
James: To unite all people within our nation!
Jessie: To denounce the evils of truth and love!
James: To extend our reach to the stars above!
Jessie: Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!
James: Surrender now or prepare for a Jolly fight!
Meowth: Meowth! That's right!
Jessie: Oh, Santa has his eyes on us. He's seen everything we have done. Every plot, plan, and scheme to catch Pikachu.
James: It's just a bit of fun. Santa has his eyes on us, Jessie.
Meowth: Every naughty deed is written in his scroll. So every Christmas morning, we get a stocking full of coal! [He dumps out coal from his stocking]
James: Maybe we get a real present from Santa if we weren't the biggest jerks in town.
Jessie: I'm way ahead of you, James! [Periodic Table lowers from ceiling. Jessie walks over to it and sticks a piece of notepad paper on it. The paper says Jt for Jerktonium] There is one element in the known universe that can turn even the nicest sap into the biggest jerk they can be! And I have discovered it. Behold! [Jessie pulls a lever] Jerktonium! [A piece of Jerktonium contained in a glass capsule lowers from the ceiling] We'll give everyone in town a present of the most innocent of all goodies. The fruitcake! Each and every slice will be laced with Jerktonium! Once ingested, no one can help becoming the biggest, creepiest, meanest jerk ever!
James: You're right, Jess. Then Santa will realize that Team Rocket aren't so bad after all!
Meowth: And then we'll get what we really want for Christmas, the twerp's Pikachu! [Meowth jumps on an oven and holds the fruitcake] And now for the main ingredient, JERKTONIUM!
Jessie: Okay, Jerktonium, do your stuff! It's complete! [Laughs] Ha ha! The Jerkmaker 9000 will make doling, outraging fruitcake a breeze!
James: Now, who's gonna be our first victim?
Pikachu: Pi. Pi. (He see the fruitcake oven) Pika?
Meowth: Looks like Pikachu is first for the fruitcake!
Jessie: Here you go! [She presses button on the dispenser as a robotic arm gives Pikachu a fruitcake!]
James: Hot from the oven and full in lovin'!
Pikachu: Pi? (sniffs) Pika! [he takes a bite] Pikachu!
Meowth: So, how do you feel, kinda cranky?
(Pikachu shook his head)
James: Turns out Pikachu isn't feeling any jerky going on.
Jessie: Hmm... He must have gotten a piece without Jerktonium! Here. Have some more.
Pikachu: Pikachu! [He eats the fruitcake]
Jessie: How's your dander? Is it up?
James: How could he possibly be angry when his taste buds are swimming in Christmas cheer?
[Pikachu takes another piece; cut to inside of his mouth]
Pikachu Taste Bud: Oh, boy, here comes some more! Yaaaay!
Jessie: Grrr! Have some more! [She fires a piece into Pikachu's mouth] Have a whole loaf! [The arm stuffs a loaf into Pikachu's mouth] Have a baker's dozen! [She fires many fruitcakes into Pikachu's mouth] Well?
[Pikachu swallows and burps very loud even the town hears it, Team Rocket gives Pikachu's big burp some of 9, 8, 10]
James: You know what? Knock yourself out. [He throws Pikachu the keys to the dispenser]
Jessie: Stupid hunk of junk-tonium! My gift to the twerps.
Meowth: Boy, oh, boy.
[Team Rocket storms off, Ash arrives]
Ash: Hey, Pikachu. Whatcha doin buddy?
Pikachu: Pika Pikachu!
Ash: You're about to deliver fruitcake to everyone in town? Great idea, buddy!
Pikachu: Pika Pika!
Ash: I think everyone should taste the amazing fruitcake! [He rides the dispenser up to 3 carolers with Pikachu] Hey, guys! Would you like a Christmas treat?
Brock: Why, sure, Ash!
Tracey: Yeah, who doesn't like Christmas treats?
Ash: [Dives into the dispenser and emerges with a plate of fruitcake] Nothing loosens up the old pipes like some fruitcake. Dig in! [They all take a piece]
Tracey: It's like a present for my mouth!
Ash: I knew you'd like it.
Brock: [Grows bushy eyebrows, bags under his eyes, and five-o'clock shadow] Hey! Did we come here to sing or eat fancy cake?
Tracey Whoa, calm down, Brock! What do you want to sing?
Brock: Well, I want to sing the only Christmas song that matters, and that's “Jingle Bells”. From the top! A one and a two and a –
Cilan: [Turns into a jerk] No, hold your holly! We're singing the best Christmas song ever, and that's “Silver Bells”!
Brock: Wrong bells, buddy!
Tracey: [Turns into a jerk] Hey, I want to sing “Stantler the Red-Nosed Reindeer”! [They all continue to argue]
Ash: [Driving away, unaware that they have been poisoned with Jerktonium] It's so awesome to see people so passionate about the holidays.
Jessie: [Emerges from the house with James and Meowth] What's all the racket? What do you know?
James: The Jerktonium seems to work on these jerks.
Meowth: Very interesting.
[Cut to a shot of a Christmas parade in town]
Ash: Look, Pikachu, a Christmas parade! The perfect occasion to spread some mouthwatering joy. Hey, everyone, try some hot fruitcake today. Eat it all up and you will shout “Hooray!”!
Ash: Everyone can get behind a mouthful of warm sunshine, everyone eat a Christmas time cliché.
Pikachu: Pika Pika!
[People start turning into jerks. Somebody pops a kid's balloon. Another person smashes a gift over somebody's head. Iris squirts water at passers by] Everyone can get behind a mouthful of Christmas time, let's all eat some hot fruitcake today!
Meowth: Jessie, James, this just keeps getting better and better.
Wobbuffet: Wobba Wobba!
Costumed Santa: [On a float, with Max on his knee] Ho ho ho! So, little boy, what would you like for Christmas?
Max: I want a sled and truck and a bike and a train ...
Ash: Hi, Santa! Have some fruitcake. [He throws a piece]
Max: And a water pistol and a helicopter and – and, uh ...
Costumed Santa: [Turns into a jerk] Well, why don't you get a job and buy all that junk yourself? And while you're at it try brushing your teeth, you little -
Ash: Have some fruitcake! [Hands a piece to the float driver]
Driver: Thanks! [He turns into a jerk, which shocks him in surprise] That's it! I'm outta here! [He panickedly leaves the float and it crashes off the end of a cliff]
Max: [Bouncing on the Costumed Santa's belly] Wheeee! Oh yeah, and I want a trampoline!
James: Soon all the people will be jerks!
Jessie: Now we just need to figure out what to do about old twerp.
[Cut to the lab]
Meowth: Once again our master plan is fatally flawed. [He brings up a diagram] It seems that twerp's innocent love of the holidays shields his heart from the effects of Jerktonium.
Ash Diagram: Dahahaha! Stop! That tickles.
Pikachu Diagram: Pika Pika!
Jessie: Drat! That twerp's gonna throw our whole naughty to nice curve right off!
James: Jessie, I guess it's time to introduce Plan B. [He pulls a lever and a giant Ash robot drops from the ceiling]
Team Rocket: Hahahahaha!
Jessie: Plan B, meet Wobbuffet.
James: And don't forget my Chimecho.
Chimecho: Chime Chime!
Meowth: Now go, my automated agent of naughtiness, go and destroy the twerp's good name! [He laughs evilly but nothing happens]
Jessie: Uh, Meowth, you forgot to turn it on.
Meowth: Huh? Oh yeah. [He winds up a key in its back]
ToyAsh: I am ready! I am ready! I am ready! Ready to destroy Christmas! [Flames shoot from his nose. He leaves the lab and destroys a car, then heads for Misty's gym]
Misty: (she riding her bike) What's goin' on out here? Oh, it's just you, Ash. [ToyAsh burns Misty's bike]
Misty: Aaaaahhhh! My bike!
Meowth: Oh, he's been a bad, bad toy!
Wobbuffet: Wobba Wobba!
[Ash is riding the dispenser through the town with Pikachu and comes across the 3 carolers he first gave Team Rocket's fruitcake to]
Ash: Merry Christmas, guys!
Brock: Ah, go stuff a stocking!
Ash: Gee. That wasn't very nice.
[They went past Misty, who is now angry about her broken bike]
Ash: Seasons greetings, Misty!
Misty: Will you get some nerve, Ash Ketchum! You're gonna pay for my bike! (She angrily runs to Ash as he drove off)
Ash: What's that all about? [He drives up to Bonnie, who is setting another trap] Hey, Bonnie! What're you up to?
Bonnie: I think it's pretty obvious, Ashy boy! [She eats a slice of fruitcake with Dedenne]
Dedenne: (angrily) De ne ne!
Bonnie: We're eating fruitcake and setting a tiger trap for Santa! Now, if you don't mind, we're kind of busy right now.
Ash: Yeesh, OK. Don't have to be a jerk about it. Everybody's on edge today, Pikachu. Must be the holiday jitters.
Pikachu: Pika Pika.
Bonnie: Nosy-body. [She falls into her own trap] Yay, it works! Hello, Mr. Big Scary Ursaring. [She screams as it attacks her]
[The next morning, Ash steps outside from his house with Pikachu on his shoulder]
Ash: Pikachu, it's Christmas Eve! When all of the town are filled with good will.
Barry: Merry Christmas, Gary.
Gary: Merry Christmas to you, too, Barry. [He throws a snowball in Barry's face]
Barry: Oh, that's it! I wanna a fine!
(He attacks Gary)
Ash: More like bad will! If people don't start acting nicer, Santa's going to fly right past the town this Christmas Eve! I'm gonna need some help. Let's go, Pikachu!
[He leaves with Pikachu, and ToyAsh walks up to Ash's house, pounding on the door]
Delia: Ash, you don't need to pound on the door, honey. [ToyAsh wrenches the door off its hinges] Ash, give me back my door, young man!
[ToyAsh smashes it over her head, she groans as she passed out]
[Cut to the field]
Ash: Hey, Clemont! I need your help! It's Christmas Eve and everyone in town are acting like jerks! You gotta help me find out why.
Clemont: [Turns around and bares his teeth, scaring Ash and Pikachu, except that he isn't a jerk after all] Why should I help all them jerks?
Ash: Because those jerks don't care about Christmas anymore! It's a big problem.
Clemont: Problem? My only problem is I'm out of fruitcake. Only thing I've got left to eat are boring old nuts. [He throws one at Ash]
Ash: Oh, the problem isn't the fruitcake! The problem is that everyone, including you, is acting like a jerk! Oh, I'll have to solve this on my own. [He turns to leave and slips on a nut, accidentally throwing the fruitcake into Clemont's Christmas analyzer] Whoa!
Clemont: Ash, you got fruitcake in my Christmas magic analyzer! [An alarm sounds] Oh, my. My analyzer's found something in the fruitcake! [He looks at the reading and gasps] This is terrible!
Ash: What is it?
Clemont: The fruitcake is contaminated with jerktonium! No wonder I've been as ornery as a sidewinder on a hot driveway. Jerktonium is the worst element of them all and your fruitcake is full of it. Where'd you get that fruitcake, anyway?
Pikachu: PiPi-kachu. (Team Rocket!)
Clemont: Team Rocket baked the fruitcake with Jerktonium?
Ash: (not amused) Pikachu, you took food from Team Rocket and made both of us fed it to everyone in town?
Ash: You're crazy.
Clemont: No wonder everyone in town is a big old meanie.
Pikachu: Pika Pika Pikachu!
Ash: You're saying that you eaten tons of that fruitcake?!
Pikachu: Pika Pikachu!
Clemont: [Pokes him] Hmm … Pikachu doesn't act jerky. For some reason it's not affecting the both of you. [He puts a scanner in front of him] It must be a combination of the tiny brain and pure heart. You and Pikachu are immune to Jerktonium, Ash, but the rest of us will need an antidote. I'll set the analyzer to calculate the formula. [He pulls a switch and a big potion pops out] Why, this formula for the antidote don't make no sense at all!
Ash: Hmm… That's not a formula! That's a potion! [He pours it on Clemont and Clemont becomes his normal self] Clemont! The potion is the antidote! I knew science is so amazing!
[Cut to downtown, where people are still rioting]
Man: Oh yeah? Well your hands are fat!
Man 2: Says who?
Ash: Hey, everybody! [He clicks his fingers and mistletoe appears over the heads of Brock and Tracey he fed Team Rocket's fruitcake to, curing them of Jerktonium poisoning. He clicks again and a pile of presents appears, curing two other guys. Max begins to play Christmas baubles like bells]
Ash: Don't be a jerk. It's Christmas!
Pikachu: Pika Pikachu!
[May hands a gift to Dawn, who continues to pass it down a line, curing people by the potion as they receive it, except for Paul, who is unaffected, Ash pets Pikachu]
Clemont: You did it, Ash, the potion worked!
Ash: And not a moment too soon. Santa should be here any minute.
Pikachu: Pika Pikachu!
Brock: You ain't kiddin'. Here he comes now!
[They all clear the way as Santa Claus' sleigh and Stantler land in front of Professor Oak's lab]
Ash: Santa! You made it!
Santa: Whoa, ho, ho, ho, ho! Cool your jets there, son. I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad tidings.
Santa: Oh, yes. It seems you're all on my naughty list, this year.
Ash: Naughty list?
Santa: No buts about it. You've all been a bunch of jerks.
Santa: But nothing! Coal for everyone! Except for Team Rocket.
Ash and Friends and Co.: WHA-A-AT?!?
Santa: I'm just as surprised as you, but compared to the rest of you, they are being good so far. [He hands Pikachu to James] Here you go, Team Rocket, I believe this is what you asked for.
Ash: My Pikachu?
Iris: How did you get him?
Santa: I have MY ways.
[An elf accidentally slips from the sleigh and a coal drops from the bag hits Misty on the head]
Misty: Oww! That hurts!
May: You okay?
(Psyduck pops out from Misty's pokeball, laughing)
Misty: (angrily, slaps Psyduck) Get back in your ball, you dimwit duck!
Ash: But- but- but- but- but- but---! [Dawn slaps him] But, Santa, you've got it all wrong!
Santa: On the contrary, Ash, you're the worst of all.
Misty: Welcome to my world. I have to deal his stubborn attitude every single day.
Ash: (to Misty, angrily) Hey, who are you callin me stubborn?
Santa: There you go, right now---wreaking havoc! [The crowd parts and reveals the rampaging ToyAsh]
Dawn: What is going on?
ToyAsh: [Focuses on Ash, Serena, Iris and Santa] I am ready to destroy Christmas! [transforms into his mega mode] Destroy Santa!
Ash: You want Santa, you gotta get through me!
Mega ToyAsh: Okey-dokey. [Karate chops Ash]
Santa: Oh, my.
Pikachu: Pika Pi!
Ash: Is that all you got?
[Mega ToyAsh picks him up and flings him far away and releases a flame]
Santa: I'm outta here! [He hides in the lab, but ToyAsh finds him and picks him up] You do realize this counts as naughty.
Ash: You put that jolly elf down, you big tin imposter! [Ash riding with his Charizard Charizard fires flame at Mega ToyAsh, he rushes back to rescue Santa] Hurry up, Santa, hop on! [Mega ToyAsh shorts out and explodes]
Pikachu: Pika Pi! (He ran to Ash, Ash hugs him)
Santa: Thanks again for saving my keister.
Ash: Oh, it was nothing.
Pikachu: (pats Ash's head) Pikachu.
Santa: You're clearly a very good lad, unlike the owners of that wind-up monstrosity! [An elf hands him the wind-up key] What have we got here? "If found, please return to the Team Rocket"?!? JESSIE!!! JAMES!!! MEOWTH!!!
Jessie and James: Uh, oh is right.
(Team Rocket tries to run until...)
Ash: Pikachu, use thunderbolt!
[Team Rocket gets shocked by Pikachu's attack, then gets flung at Santa's sleigh, and they splatter all over it. They fell off, leaving squish marks on the sleigh]
Jessie: This could've done worse.
James: You're right! We're all burned up!
Meowth: Like our lives.
Santa: O.K., boys, let's give Team Rocket what they deserve. [The elves pour coal onto Team Rocket]
Jessie, James and Meowth: Looks like Team Rocket's been all coaled up again!
Santa: So long, kiddies! Ho-o-o-o, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! [He flies away as everyone [except Paul] waves goodbye to him]
Clemont: Hey, has anyone seen Bonnie?
Bonnie: [Hiding on Santa's sleigh] Gotcha! [She catches Santa in a net, sending the sleigh off course]
(Later, Ash and his friends are enjoying a Christmas party in his house, even the Pokemon are enjoying the treats including Clemont's Chespin)
Chespin: (chewing on a cookie) Che-Chespin!
(Pikachu is eating a marshmallow when Ash came in with a gift)
Ash: Merry Christmas, Pikachu.
Pikachu: Chaaaa!!! (He accepts the gift from him) Pikachu. (He opens it and it is a ketchup bottle!) Chaaaa! Pika Pi! (He kisses the bottle)
Ash: (laughs) Glad you like the gift, buddy.
(Then, a mistletoe sets up between Ash and Serena)
Serena: (blushing) We have a best Christmas.
Ash: Yup, so far.
(Ash and Serena kiss under the mistletoe while Pikachu continues kissing a ketchup bottle!)