BACON!! Sorry, thats not the question. Anyways... so the question is: Can u make me laugh? IF U CAN U GET PROPS :)

"Hey Gwown up!" says the little kid,"Can I eat ur cookies"?

"No, sorry," says the lady, " I don't have any cookies for u!"

"Ya you do!" little kid says, " right there!" *points to her chest area...
"I wowrk fo da cookie monster, and u hwave his favwit fwavor!?


These two are real stories

science class in 2nd grade--- teacher: "It's good to protect the enviroment, and not hurt animals, like ducks, and dear ect." Ryan (kid):" *raises his hand* " my dad shoots ducks!"
Teacher: "ummm ok."

3rd grade-- ok We were looking for our favorite songs and one of the kid's favorite song was by the Rolling Stones.
nick: "Who's this song by?"
me: "The Rolling Stones"
nick: "There's no band called The Rolling stones!"
Me: Yes there is. They're famous!
nick: No that's a magizine!
me: Yes, but the band came first. The magizine was named after the band. Right niko?
niko: No! Rolling stones isn't a band, it's a magizine.
Me: *slaps my fore head and shakes my head.

Thanks to my spelling of magizine!

Heres a video that u'll lol at. This guy has great vids. I loled at him dancing!

NuffSaid.

These are real questions asked by real people that go to my school...

"Where's Japan? It that in like, California?"
"Are there Asian people in America?!" (The person who asked this is Asian......)
"What's Obama's last name?"

~Right after Osama was killed...
"OBAMA WAS KILLED!?!"
"No... Obama wasn't killed. Osama was."
"Nuh uh! I saw on the news that he was shot! Twice!"
"That was Osama..."
"NUH UH!! THEY SHOWED A PICTUR OF HIM AND EVERYTHING! IT WAS OBAMA!!"

"What's 1 plus 1? IS IT FOUR?!"
"How come my hair straighter won't work when it's not plugged in?"
"Mr. Jones, what's your last name?"

~While we were randomly talking about the Titanic in Social Studies...

"Right, so the Titanic sank, and-"
"NOO DON'T TELL ME THE ENDING! I HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE YET!!"
"... You didn't know the Titanic sank?"
"I just said I haven't seen the movie yet! Thanks for ruining it!"
"You didn't have to see the movie to know that... It's a famous historic event..."
"WAIT, THAT ACTUALLY REALLY HAPPENED?!"

"What's a cat called?!" (What. The. Fuck.)
"I'm confused! Is Paris Hilton the smartest person in the world or something?!"
"Did Abraham Lincoln kill John Wilkes Booth?!"

~While playing a review game for studying Sates and Capitals...
"This is an easy one. What's the capital of the United States?"
"I don't know! Can I pass?"

Most of these questions came from the same person....

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxgIbznAV84&feature=related

www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-ruZ7zad8g&feature=relmfu

link

link

link

these made me crack up

;D

PASTE!!!!!! >v<

:)

"Road Trip" - Gabriel Iglesias- (From Hot & Fluffy comedy special)

Always makes me laugh!

Funny TV show lines:

"There goes Suzy Lipton, strutting her bony ass in those skinny jeans. I heard she lost all that weight drinking breast milk."
"What?"
"Boob milk, you can buy it online!"

"We need caffiene."
"Umm, no offense, but, can I make it?"
"Serisouly?"
"I have to go with Aria on that one."
"Sorry, Spencer, your coffee gives me the shakes."
"Amateurs!"

"Oh, my god, Sara, you did NOT walk in on your parents having sex!"
"Don't worry, I didn't go in. I vowed never to do it again after the first time."
"My brother did once. He said it was the most disgusting, disturbing, grossest thing he's seen in his life. My room is right below my parents' so I can sometimes hear it. It's torture. But not as bad as seeing it, apparently."

Here's the really good joke: Smart guys.

FEAR IT!!! XD