Woah! Time to change the thought patterns in your head. Every time you get a negative thought like this replace it with a positive thought,such as, I am a good person and I deserve to be happy. Learn to be your own best friend and learn to believe in yourself.
Focus on all the positive stuff in the world and block out all the negative stuff. In this age of modern technology too much negative stuff is forced onto us through the media. Learn to block it out as it can cause overkill and a lot of stress. The world's problems aren't our problems, they are their problems. Just get out there and start living, and focus on yourself. Learn to say 'no' to people.
Look at developing a better sense of yourself and who you want to be. Join some hobby groups or clubs doing something you enjoy. If you don't know what you enjoy doing, then start looking for something you could enjoy doing, and learn that or do that. Go to the park and feed the ducks. Walking is great for improving your moods. Just get out of the house and go some where new on a bus or train.Stay in a backpackers. It is a beautiful world out there. Enjoy!
Here are some websites with options for improving your thinking:
link
link
link
link
link
link
link