what are those funny/weird assumptions you had when you were a kid?

That everything was put here for me. Television was for me. Candy was for me. Toys were for me. I could go into any place I wanted to. I felt that I was the planets child.

That I would ever find a happy and fulfilling life

I thought that death affects only other people, but me, my family and my friends will live forever.
Another one - I also used to think that I`m the smartest and best at everything and if I can`t do something, eventually I`ll learn it and still will be the best at it. 😳

Whenever I saw this road sign, I used to think it meant we were heading North XD

There are quite a few. Some of them have been already mentioned. The fact that everything will always be ready for me and I won't be missing out, that I will live a perfect Life, that all the people that have come close to me will stay that way forever, etc.

Since Easter is here, I'll mention this. When I was a kid, I used to think that Magiritsa, a certain kind of Soup made by Lamb Offal, used Humans actually. More specifically, Female Cooks as their translation in my Native Language is pretty similar to the name of the Soup. So, I ate the Soup and I was enjoying it but was having that belief at the same time. I mean, I was really picturing someone preparing the Soup and then getting killed by another person who took their place and used the former as the final ingredient. That kind of Tradition every year. These come to mind for now XD !!!!

When I was kid, I legit though that the bank you go to just randomly gave you whatever amount of money you wanted/needed. I know fucking idea that you had to put $$$ in first in order to get it. I still laugh at myself about it to this day.

When I was little and I would take baths, I thought that if I stayed in the tub as it was draining, I would go down the drain.

I thought I would live forever as long as I never got sick. I wasn't too happy when I was told the truth.