Here are my list of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let you know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything or eating anything you might spit it or something.)
#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.
#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)
#3 Why was the broom late to work?
#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels.
#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorite vegetable?
#6 Why does the mushroom have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)
#7 What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)
#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
#9 What do you call a pencil without lead?
#10 How do you make an octopus giggle ten times?
You give him ten-tickles (tenticles)
#11 How do you make lady gaga cry?
#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
#13 What's a chicken's favorite composer?
#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between you and me man, something smells." (Your nose)
#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."
#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."
#17 Why can't you hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)
#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
#19 Why did the tomato blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)
#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.
#23 How do you know if it's raining cats and dogs?
You step in a poodle (puddle)
#24 How do you know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)
#25 How do you get pikachu on a bus?
You pokémon (pok 'em on)
#26 Why can't you dress with pikachu in the room?
He'll pikachu (peek at you)
#27 What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)
#28 How do get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it!
#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD
#30 Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts to.
#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)
#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)
#33 What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator
#34 What's pink and fluffy?
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
Pink fluff holding it's breath.
#35 What happens when you drink 7 coca colas?
You burp 7up
#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.
#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.
#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)
#40 what did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
#41 Why can't you trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)
Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope you liked them. Make sure you check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...