Wow, what is this now? Now I know what we’re all thinking. Is this supposed to be an in-season April Fools joke? Is this like an epic prank gone wrong gone sexual? This can’t truly be, Nik. You’re not really going to tell us about the actual intelligence of this film. No…. I’m dead serious. This is a review of the film, a review that actually talks about Freddy Got Fingered… But positively. Yes. Really. So this film has been considered not just one of the worst films of the decade, not just one of the worst comedies ever, but it’s also been considered one of the worst movies of all time, with scathing reviews from all outlets and critics, and won many razzies including Worst Actor, Worst Director, Worst Couple, and more, which this film won nine of from the Golden Raspberries alone. However, something strange happened. Freddy Got Fingered got considered a cult classic. And not just a cult classic, but has gained re-evaluation in later years and is actually considered ahead of its time now. What happened? What made Freddy Got Fingered into a film worthy of re-evaluation. But before I ruin all my credibility in the span of a single article, we need to discuss some things. First off, the act of Dada
So the movement of Dada, or Dadaism is a very complicated series of things. The origins are vague at best, and the movement hasn’t really been seen much outside of small niche audiences. Thank you to the video on Freddy Got Fingered by Nostalgia Woman and Kyle Kallgran, who brought up this ideology for the movie, so if you want a better idea on that, there you go. I won’t go into the long, long, long history that is this movement, so I’ll try to keep things simple. Basically, Dada was a form of, debatably, expression artform that was described as anti-art, a form of taking an art and making it something so… nonsensical. It derives its medium from sheer chaos, made to shock, offend, or just confuse the general audience in some way. The act was not really respected at the time, with many of the art forms being banned when it first came, with even some artists being arrested for it. And with World War II, many of them were forced out of Europe with the rise of Axis powers, even Hitler considering it a degenerate artform. Look, Adolf, you’re just salty cause you didn’t get to go to art school. Point is, after World War II ended and brought about a more optimistic look to the future, the cynical nature of Dadaism died out, at least for a time. After that, musical artists like Chumbawamba and Frank Zappa were considered self-Dadaists in the form of making nonsensical stuff, and in the case of Chumbawamba, did it to shock and offend. Yeah, you know the song, Tubthumping. Probably heard it in a ton of movies in the 90s and early 2000s? Yeah, that same band had an album where the cover had a baby popping out of the womb. I am not making this joke. So, to keep it simple, the art is all about offending. If you are offended, it worked. But what also lied in the art form of just sheer madness also lied a sense of nihilism. While the point of the art is to be pointless, that’s kind of the meaning to it. There is no point to the art. And after World War I, the deadliest war that humanity had known at the time, artists kind of wondered what the point of anything was. So, in writing, in their art, in music, Dada was not just an act of offending and shocking for laughs, but to also drive home the fact that life is pointless and just bad. And, yeah, while that sort of nihilism isn’t exactly something I agree with, I perfectly understand it here. And yet, that movement would inspire so much work later on. From the aforementioned Frank Zappa and Chumbawamba, many nihilist authors and writers, and would create the strange surrealist sense of humor that we kind of toil in now… But we’ll get to that later. For now, now that we understand this point, this strange point of pointlessness, let us discuss the man himself. The star, writer and the bastard of Canada himself, Tom Green.
Part 1: Tom Green, Make Me Qreem
Tom Green is an… interesting fellow, to say the least. Aside from being a comedian that was made to put random things in his mouth, walk up to people in the streets just to shock them completely, even making a big publicity of his actual, real testicular cancer that he thankfully beat and making a big stunt on Saturday Night Live where he was to marry his then-fiance Drew Barrymore live at the end, only for her to not show up at the show and just end, confusing so many viewers. Honestly, if not for the fact that Tom Green’s humor is… fucking disgusting, to say the least, the man is kind of inspirational. And I… never grew up with him. I tried asking my older brother, the most 90s kid guy I know. Yep, 90s kid. He’s 26 now. But yeah, he never knew him. I never knew him. The most I ever knew of Tom Green was that one cameo he had in Clone High, the pinnacle of human achievement. But the Tom Green Show on MTV was considered a landmark, for many great gags like Tom Green painting lesbians on his dad's car, putting a cows head in his dads bed, basically just tormenting his parents on live TV, among all sorts of acts that cross the line from “Is that okay for TV?” to “Is that even okay on a moral level?”. But a landmark nonetheless, as Tom Green’s antics would actually inspire another show of idiots hurting themselves and pranking each other for the entertainment of redneck Americans world wide, myself included. That show was Jackass. But his career was just getting started. Tom Green had finally made it big in Hollywood when he was cast to be in the film, Road Trip. The film was okay, but it made a shit load of money, and while being narrated by Tom Green, Fox decided to give Tom Green a movie. A full movie that he could make, on his own, with no limitations other than to keep it under NC-17. So, yes, for his roles in television and one movie role ever, Tom Green was given fourteen million dollars and total control over his movie. Fuck, man, Stanley Kubrick and Martin Socrses wish they could get that lucky on their first try. So, with $14 mil in his pocket and his hopes high, Tom set out to make the movie he always wanted to make. And how was it?!
Part 2: freddy got fingered
… huh. Well I mean… It’s not the worst comedy I’ve ever seen. I’d rather be shocked and offended then bored out of my skull. Okay, so, let’s talk about it. Freddy Got Fingered is a comedy film released in 2001. Yeah, more tragedy that year. Hoo boy. It follows our hero, Gordy, a 28 year old dead beat who dreams of being an animator but lives with his parents and deals with his disappointed father, played by the late Rip Torn in one of his funniest roles. I never thought I would laugh so much at an abusive parent. The film is an hour and twenty seven minutes. And throughout this film, there is barely anything that happens plot wise. There are many scenes, like Tom Green swinging a salami around in peoples faces like his dick, jerking off a horse, wearing the skin of a dead deer and playing with it, licking the exposed broken bone of his friend, biting into a baby’s imbilecal cord and then swinging it around akin to fucking “So long, Gay Bowser”, and just sheer stupidity like scenes such as Daddy Would You Like Some Sausage and The Backwards Man. And it isn’t until 50 minutes exactly, yes, fifty minutes of this hour and twenty seven minute long movie, just above thirty minutes left of the film, we get to the actual plot of the film, the thing the movie is named after, where Freddy, tired of his fathers constant insults and abuse, accuses his father in therapy for fingering his 25-year-old younger brother, Freddy, and gets him taken away. This plot goes nowhere and is just made for more shock value. The film is full of so many scenes like this from beginning and ending, even other such horrid things, like a hospital called The Institute for Sexually Molested Children where they run around without supervision and watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and a running joke of this kid, the best actor in the movie, getting assaulted horribly, including getting a bottle smashed on his head, getting his teeth knocked out, and getting grinded up in an airplane propeller, but he says he’s okay, so it’s cool. This film is just shock and violence and sickening imagery and stupidity one after another. And I gotta be honest… I can’t believe I’m going to say this… But I kind of… enjoy it. Okay, here me out, please. Is Freddy Got Fingered a good movie? Fuck no. While the comedy fits my sick sense of humor, the film has many other issues. Plot lines that go nowhere and just don’t matter, and just exist to be pointless, and that doesn’t include the weird editing with the camera shots, the inconsistent lighting, the poor acting from some characters, and just the constant revolting imagery. But there’s just something about it. Like the film is so bad, yet it feels so lovingly crafted to be bad. Like the scenes are so shocking, and so horrid, that I find myself laughing with them. It also helps that I showed my grandma this movie. YES! Really! My poor 75 year old grandma was born witness to this fucking travesty. And the thing is, we were hyperventilating with laughter. We were disgusted, we were uncomfortable, we both were probably experiencing a hate crime… But we were invested. There came a point where the madness just took us over and we were laughing with Freddy Got Fingered. Much like the Joker finding that life was actually a comedy, it felt like that. Aside from the part where we scream about society.
So yeah, Freddy Got Fingered is not a good movie. But it is an entertaining movie. How many movies are considered so bad, they’re good, or ones that eventually become beloved classics? Like people nowadays forget that The Shining was a hated film at the time. People thought that the idea of a father killing their family was unsettling and cruel, which… no shit? It’s a horror film. You’re supposed to be uncomfortable. And yes, I did use The Shining to prove my point about Freddy Got Fingered. This is how far I’ve sunk. But think about it. The Room, Samurai Cop, Plan 9. Hell, Kung Pow: Enter the Fist is regarded as a trash tier movie, and yet so many people reference it all the time. Johnny Mnemonic is considered a garbage film, yet it’s one of the most influential cyberpunk films around. Also has Keanu Reeves, pre-Johnny Silverhand era. What I’m saying is, you can be a bad film, but you can still be entertaining. And if you entertain, you did your job and you did it… right? Well you did it. Being bad but entertaining is fine. Otherwise, if you're bad and you're boring, then you have no point of existing, and yes, I mean you, Captain Marvel. And boy did this film fail. Not just critically, but at the box office. $14 million spent and $14.3 million gained. Yeah, that may not sound so bad, but that just makes it a waste of everyone's time. For a film to be a success, it needs to make back double what it spent. Otherwise, what the fuck was the point? And yeah, not only that, but everyone hated being in this film, pretty much, and no one brings up being in this film. Everyone… except Tom Green
Part 3: The Absolute Mad Lad
Tom Green was all about this film, crazy about it. Obviously, he was big into just doing his usual brand of humor, harassing his parents, fictional parents, but still. Putting random things in his mouth, including animals, be it alive or dead. And just being a menace to people. Hell, when you make local screwball, Harland Williams, the straight man that questions the madness of another character… Well, shit, I don’t know if that’s an act of miscasting or if that was just to prove the point that your character is more insane than the man with a high pitched girl scream. But Tom Green made the film he wanted to make. And what he wanted to make was a total bastardization of the medium as a whole, something that would offend everyone, make everyone disgusted, and just be called trash. All paid for by a giant billion dollar conglomerate and just watch as he burned all their money for fun. When Tom Green won his Razzie at the 2001 Golden Raspberry Awards, he came with pride, in a white Cadillac, a suit, and even brought his own red carpet. This man won nine Razzies and he was fucking egstatic. It could have won Worst Film of the Decade, but Battlefield Earth was just too shitty. He even advertises the bad reviews in the DVD pamphlet. Here, this is my physical copy of Freddy Got Fingered
And here is the pamphlet’s good review
And here’s the rest
So yeah, this man takes pride in his failure. He wanted to make the worst film ever and he succeeded. A film so hated and disgusted. But… the thing is… It kinda isn’t
Part 4: Wait, there’s more of this bullshit?!
So yeah, as it turns out, Freddy Got Fingered may have been a pioneer for the film genre of dumb humor, as it is now considered on it’s official Wikipedia page a surrealist comedy film. The insane, almost maddening humor of Freddy Got Fingered, and how everyone is so casual to this man child’s escapades aside from his father who is falling into more and more madness as his son screws up his life more and more all feels like a nightmare. Especially the hospital scene where Freddy swings a baby around as these women chant in some sort of hymn as blood splatters the wall. And yet, why do I find the madness funny. Well, I think it has to do with me, personally. Because I grew up with a lot of Adult Swim shows as a kid. I watched all the classics growing up. Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Superjail, Metalocalypse, Moral Orel, and so many more. I even check out some of their more recent and absurd stuff like The Shivering Truth and the ever topical Eric Andre Show. All that, mixed with the insane humor of the internet just adds to that. What I’m trying to say is that I like humor that is very abstract and absurdist. That’s the nice way of saying my humor is fucking retarded. This shit, right here?
Yeah, this is comedy gold to me. Basically, what I’m saying is that the comedy of Freddy Got Fingered holds up a lot. Now, am I gonna to sit here and say that Freddy Got Fingered is a better comedy than movies like Clerks or Blues Brothers or Fargo? Uh, fucking no. I mean, fuck, it’s barely funnier than Nacho Libre (BTW, Nacho Libre is good, don’t @ me, queermongers). But Freddy Got Fingered was ahead of the humor of the insanity and just sheer shock of it all. Maybe not on par with the quality of Eric Andre or Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and really, the best absurdist comedy film ever was Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, that’s just a hard fact, but Freddy Got Fingered was very much a start of this humor. And hey, remember that pointlessness that was brought up, but also nihilistic? Well, really, isn’t this film nihilistic? Like Freddy Got Fingered is a gross out comedy about a grown man watching animals have sex and lets a parapallegic girl suck him off. But what the film is actually about is a crude and socially retarded grown man who wants to achieve something in his life, but is beaten down by his emotionally and verbally abusive father, on top of hating the disabled and being a sexist pig. So he accuses his dad of being a child molester just to get back at him, ruining his fathers life and coming out on top only to piss all his fortune away in some absurd attempt to impress his father, with scenes of disabilities, violence, including that on children, and just sheer lack of care from the world around them. Is… is Freddy Got Fingered smarter than it actually is??? Ha ha ha! Oh, god, fuck no, this film is a fucking dumpster fire. But it is a dumpster fire I want to watch burn, examine the ashes, and try to find the value in it. And that brings me to my last point.
Part 5: For fucks sake, just like what you want to like
Seriously, why is it that we have reached a point where we all have to agree on something just someone called it good or bad. Look, I don’t care who you are. I don’t care what you like. If you like something, and genuinely love it with a passion, then sick. But for god's sake, don’t go saying something is bad because someone on the internet or a critic said it was trash, because that just keeps you from forming your own opinions. If you like Highschool of the Dead for the social commentary and how the tits and asses may actually be a commentary on teenage hormones, good for you. If you think YIIK: A Postmodern RPG is a game that is worth talking about because of the insane design and story choices and are important for those reasons while having some genuine good ideas, good. And if you watch a fucking psychotic film by a mad man who attacks his parents and think, “Hey, this movie is pretty funny”, then good. I would rather you love something that is terrible and mean it, rather than agree with the general populace that it is terrible without seeing it. And vice versa too. Don’t just read this article and say, “Ya know, maybe Freddy Got Fingered is good.” No! You won’t know what you like or don’t like if you don’t experience it for yourself. If you are mildly curious about this movie, then go check it out. If not, that’s fine. But don’t hate it or like it because someone said so. The reviews of people online are not gospel. This isn’t an Anton Ego from Ratatouille where my word on Freddy Got Fingered is my final word, THE final word. Because no. You really think I have intelligence and influence to change minds? I just spent six hours on this, an hour and a half watching the movie a second time, two hours doing research on the movie, Tom Green, and some stupid art movement that no one knows nor cares about except art nerds and me, and the remaining spent typing this shit out while listening to fucking ska music and drinking ass tasting energy drinks. I’m a faggot. But at least my opinion is my own. Make your own opinion. And don’t be ashamed to admit it. I’m not gonna call Freddy Got Fingered a guilty pleasure because that devalues the opinions of others, I think. I’m not gonna say, “So I like Freddy Got Fingered. Pretty cringey, am I right, fam?”. No. Fuck that. Fuck you! I like Freddy Got Fingered. Finger my boyhole if you don’t like it. (Just kidding, I love you. Please don’t divorce me).
So yeah, that about wraps it up. In conclusion, Freddy Got Fingered is trash. But I am a filthy raccoon man and I crave trash. And I leave you with this. Tom Green had tried to get Gene Wilder, of Young Frankenstein and original Willy Wonka fame, to be his dad, but he refused as he thought the movie was offensive. Man, we could have had Willy Wonka call Tom Green a retard and a faggot, but… I guess in another lifetime. See you later, masturbators.