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(THIS ARTICLE IS A JOKE. CALM DOWN MATES. ENJOY :D)

*Cough* I WANNA HANG MYSELF

SO how's it goin' Internet, everyone getting along? It's good to be home again. :)

Typical Internet Douche: WHO U CALLIN' A WINY BICH U BICH >:(

I was right.....I AM home. :P

So I'm pretty sure that it's common fucking sense at this point that a hilariously large minority of the internet seem to either be five years old, have never gone to school, or are just mindless retarded sadists who jack off to others pain using grammar worse than that of a goddamn cheese grater.

And today, I'm going to be one of those sadists....

#1: BLACK FIN:
30 years ago, Seaworld wasn't exactly at it's brightest of lights. As a film known as "Black Fin" reveals the tragic truth of the largest known, captive Orca.. tilikum.
The film reveals Tilikum was captured near Iceland in November of 1983, over 30 years ago. At only 2 years old, when he was approximately 13 feet long, he was torn away from his family and ocean home.
And, long story short, he might of been bullied by the other Orcas.
This eventually leading to Tilikum killing 3 trainers.
The most famish being the violent death of Dawn Brancheau.
It's believed Tilikum was acting very...

Don't mess with this monkey.

Footage from a security camera is said to show a young man in Shimla, India, giving the finger to one of the area's famously belligerent monkeys. And as you might expect, the monkey is having none of it.

It drop kicks the man right in the head, knocking him to the ground.

The man, however, appears to be OK after the attack as he gets up and walks off.

Shimla's monkeys are known to cause problems for both tourists and locals visiting the Jakhoo temple, which is dedicated to the monkey god Hanuman.

"The monkeys of Shimla are not pleasant animals, they roam around in gangs...

#5: PRINCESS LUNA:
Princess Luna has a problems that a lot of us have. Family problems for the most part. She's always in the shadow of her sister. She's not appreciated for what she does. She's an lone wolf, alone for the most part. Lot of ponies judge her from her past and not what she is now. Unable to except her new self..

#4: TWILIGHT SPARKLE:
I never noticed at the time.
But she reminded me a bit of myself.
Never really having the time for friends.
Till I met them..

#3: ZUKO: THE LAST AIRBUNDER:
Zuko feels like an real person who goes through a lot in the world. His father abandoning him from...

1) Go into a phone store, look at the sales person, hold out a banana and tell them you want to upgrade to an apple.

2) On New Years Eve at 11: 55 order a pizza then at 12:01, New
Year's day, call and complain I ordered this last year!

3) Go into a public restroom then after a few seconds, yell "LET IT GO! LET IT GO! CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE!" then drop something heavy into the toilet.

4) Order a pizza 3 minutes before new year and when it comes say "I ordered this a darn year ago" and scream in frustration.

5) Go into a supermarket, and in the produce section, find a pineapple. Grab it and shake...

#1: JASON BRODY:
Starting off as your average immature dare devil. But then Vaas kidnapped him and his brother Grant.. And during their escape Vaas coldly murders poor Grant and Jason is unable to save the poor guy. This being being one of them main reasons Jason tracks down and kills Vaas, though not too many sympathize the death of Vaas, despite how badass he is.
Not only that but Jason becomes a unstoppable force do to the harsh ways of the island destroying both his innocence, and even his sanity.
But Jason uses this, not for bad, but for the sole purpose of rescuing his friends and family...

(Hello there! If you're new to this series, here's the basics. I take comments asking questions from the last episode and answer them in the next article, but with Robotnik! As a result you'll see some pretty funny stuff. XD Hope you enjoy our first episode of Ask Dr. Robotnik!)

But before we begin, special shout-outs to the people who left comments in the last article! (Link to the article is here: link)

RainSoul, kicksomebut23, PlazmaKiller59, sonicfan94, windwakerguy430, LGYCE, stella2015, MalloMar, ntmfan0707, and of course, me! Thanks for commenting guys!

And now, our feature presentation!...