"Woooo-hoo!" Rigby yelled as the wind blew through his fur. Mordecai swerved back and forth on the golf cart as he sped down the road with all that the golf cart had.
"Dude, this Beast drink is the bomb!" Rigby exclaimed, sticking his head out the side of the golf cart as he took a giant gulp of the purple energy drink. "Where'd you get it?"
"The attic!" Mordecai replied, popping a wheelie as he cracked open another tall can. "Benson keeps some crazy drinks up there!"
"Aww yeah!! Let's get this party started!" Exclaimed muscle man as he opened the door to at least a hundred people. "Bro, where are the drinks?" Hi-five ghost asked him.
"In the attic! And you know who ELSE is in the attic?" He ripped his shirt off to reveal a tattoo of an extremely fat woman on his stomach. "MY MOM!!!!" He screamed as brain explosion came on. His shirt spun in the air, spewing sweat, until it landed on another guy's head.
"Muscle man, there are no drinks in the attic!" HFG exclaimed, floating down the stairs.
"How much caffeine is in these, dude?" Mordecai yelled, his eyes bulging with excitement.
"It says this drink is nothing but caffeine!" Rigby replied.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!" They both yelled as the golf cart tumbled down a flight of stairs. Suddenly, a building appeared right in front of the golf cart. They screamed, trying to stop the cart. "Dude, the brake won't work!" Mordecai yelled, repeatedly pushing the brake. They slammed through a wall, the golf cart flipping two or three times before landing upside down in the middle of a restaurant.
Everyone stared as smoke began to fill the room. "Woohoo! That was awesome!" Rigby exclaimed, climbing out from under to see hundreds of people in fancy suits and dresses staring back at them.
"What do you guys think your doing?!" A woman in a really fluffy dress exclaimed. "Guards!"
Two large men burst through the front doors and yanked Mordecai and Rigby out from under the wrecked car, avoiding the wet spots where Beast energy drink spilled on the floor. "You guys are going to jail for breaking property!" They declared, slapping handcuffs on their hands. "Oh no, dude," Mordecai croaked. "Benson's gonna totally fire us!"
The cell door slammed loudly as Mordecai and Rigby were locked inside. "Dude, I'm still hyped up on that Beast drink!" Rigby whispered. He jumped up almost to the height of Mordecai.
"Dude, we're in jail! There's nothing to be hyped up about!" Mordecai wailed, an edge of regret in his voice. His head fell into his hands.
"Yes, you are in jail," An unknown British voice bellowed from the shadows. "And your in it with me! Official jail tour guide! My name's Bob, you?" Yellow eyes flashed from a dark corner of the cell, and a webbed green hand poked out. Mordecai and Rigby reluctantly shook his slimy hand. "I'm Mordecai," Mordecai proposed.
"And I'm Rigby!" Rigby jumped up and tackled Bob's hand.
"Whoa whoa whoa!" Bob protested, jerking his hand away from Rigby's clutch.
"Now, where were we? Ah, your tour of the jail," Bob stepped out of the darkness to reveal his frog-like appearance. "This is your cell, number 6... 6..... 6." He cackled evilly, then turned back to normal. "This is your beds," He pointed to a three-level bunk bed with ripped sheets. "Your sink," A disgusting green fungus covered the sink. Mordecai and Rigby gagged and looked away. "Your toilet," He flushed it quickly and laughed nervously. "And your writing table. You write letters to your family and friends here." They sat down on the bottom and middle bunks, trying to get comfortable in their new cell. Rigby immediately lay down. "I'm gonna take a power nap," He said before shutting his eyes.
"I guess me too," Mordecai sighed and laid down.
"Wake up everybody! It's time to get up!" Bob yelled, tearing the sheets off of the two.
"Aww man, is it morning already?" Rigby grumbled, getting up and falling off the bunk. Mordecai hit his head on the top of the bed as he got up. He groaned in pain.
"No, it's nowhere near morning. But it is dinner!" Bob declared. The cell door swung open, and a sheriff walked in.
"You gonna get food or not?" He sneered. Mordecai and Rigby hurried out and followed the other prisoners to the cafeteria.
"Today's special: Mystery Meat with Overcooked potatoes!" The lunch person implied with a gravelly voice. The depressed bluejay scooted over in front of a boling pot of something slimy. The lunch person slopped it onto his plate with a potato wrapped in foil. Rigby was next in line, although his head couldn't reach the edge of the table. He heard the plop of food splattering on his tray, and he followed Mordecai down to an empty table.
"Hey you punks, what are you doing at our table?" A few giant men with mo-hawks bellowed. One stuck his face two inches away from Mordecai's with a questioning look.
"Dude, you guys are ripped!" Rigby proclaimed. "I bet they can't win punchies against you, Mordecai." Mordecai looked appalled. "No, wait-" He started, but it was too late.
"You think you can beat US at Punchies?! We'll see about that!" The guy with a green mo-hawk chuckled. Mordecai reluctantly raised his fist and hit a purple-haired guy on the shoulder, where a tattoo of a menacing snake was. All of his fingers cracked loudly as they made contact with the rock-hard shoulder. Mordecai shook his hand in pain, but was expressionless, determined to stand up against the prisoners. The man laughed as Rigby stared, filled with excitement! The purple-haired guy raised a huge fist, tightened his grip, and came down on Mordecai's shoulder like lightning. Mordecai fell against the table, inches away from landing in his slop and potato. He flinched, screaming on the inside, but stood back up with a strong face and raised his fist to finish off the bodybuilder. Using the last muscle strength he had left, Mordecai pounded the guy's shoulder, and it almost looked as if his snake tattoo was weak from the impact. The man griped in pain, clutching his shoulder.
"Come on guys, we're getting another table!" He said, giving one last scold to Mordecai as they walked away.
As soon as the group was out of earshot, he yelled in pain and plopped down on his chair, his arm limp.
"Dude, that was amazing! You were like "eh," and he was like "raaawr!" and then you were like "RAWWRRR!" and then they were like "boo hoo,"" Rigby exclaimed, using really unnecessary sounds and hand gestures.
"My arm feels like this food, though," Mordecai murmured.
"It isn't even food! It's more like Benson's face," Rigby replied.
"Totally!" Mordecai chuckled. They walked away, leaving their food untouched.
"Back already?" Bob inquired, stepping out from the corner of darkness that he always seemed to be in. "I heard about your tangle with the jail's Mo-hawk Gang."
"Yeah, how'd you know?" Mordecai asked nervously.
"Well everybody knows about the Mo-hawk Gang! They've never been defeated in Punchies before. You're the first!" He replied with confidence, putting his webbed hands on his hips. Mordecai smiled. Just think what I can do now, he thought. I could be a celebrity!
Mordecai went on and defeated many more prisoners at Punchies, became friends with the toughest criminals, and even had homemade toilet punch juice, made exclusively in the most disgusting of jail toilets. he grew farther and farther away from Rigby, and Rigby had no choice but to befriend Bob the frog. As Mordecai's popularity grew larger and larger, he felt on top of the world. Or, at least on top of the prison building.
"Hey Mordecai!" Rigby enthusiastically greeted as the blue jay strutted into his jail cell. Mordecai waved his hand slightly without turning to even look at Rigby. After a long silence, Rigby decided to speak up. "So what's up, buddy?" He tried to say nonchalantly.
"Nothin'," He replied, looking in the mirror and flexing his newly grown muscles.
"So, have you been thinking about leaving yet?" Rigby asked, hinting an escape. Mordecai finally turned and looked at him with disdain.
"Look," he started. "I am a leader. You are more like a Rigby. You don't need to talk to me, because I will not talk as if you're my friend." Rigby's heart dropped to the floor as Mordecai beat down on him with these words.
"But... Mordecai..." He whimpered, blinking away tears.
"C'mon, Rigs, let's go talk." Bob emerged from his dark corner with a look of concern on his face. He put his long arm over Rigby's shoulder and led him away.
"Listen, you don't need him," Bob comforted. "He's too caught up in the jail stuff. You don't wanna mess with people like that." He pulled out a tissue and handed it to Rigby.
"He's just been my best friend for like, ever." Rigby replied.
"I know. Now, I have a plan of how we can escape from here. First of all..." Rigby leaned in close as he whispered the escape plan. "We sneak out during lunch. Then, we get one of their laser weapons and cut a hole through the wall! Then we go out and replace the hole with a picture."
"That's genius!" Rigby smiled.
"Rigby!" Bob murmured. He whistled, beckoning him. Rigby finished off his extra salty green beans and walked over to Bob's table.
"This is our chance! You gotta sneak into the police meeting room and get one of their laser weapons. I'll meet you outside the door." He explained. Rigby nodded in agreement and sprinted out of the cafeteria.
Finally getting to the meeting place, he creaked the door open and realized no one was there. Sneaking in, he searched for the weapons box, which was in a corner of the room. He opened it using his raccoon-ish nails and grabbed the coolest gun he could find, which sparked and flared continuously. He hurried outside where Bob was waiting and sneaked him the gun, which Bob put down his orange jail shirt. They ran down to the jail cell and immediately began slicing a hole through the wall with the gun.
"What are you guys doing?" Mordecai entered the jail cell.
"We're escaping! Wanna come with us?" Rigby asked. It was his moment of truth to see if Mordecai and his friendship could be saved. After a long silence, Mordecai replied.
"... No, I'm staying here. Where I have friends that really are cool." Rigby was taken aback. Mordecai... He doesn't even want to be with me anymore, he thought. What have I done?!
"Hey, you idiot!" Bob exclaimed, putting Rigby behind him. "If you want to hurt someone, hurt me. Otherwise, I suggest we escape before the guards catch us!" He raised his fists. "Let's settle this over Punchies," Mordecai offered. Bob nodded in agreement. First, Mordecai raised a mighty fist, worn from all of the punchies battles he won in jail. He struck down on Bob's shoulder as hard as he could, and Bob grabbed his shoulder in pain. A bruise already formed on his green skin.
"Okay," Bob started, standing back up. "We're doing this the hard way." He raised a large green fist, gritted his teeth, and hit Mordecai's shoulder as fast as lightning. There was a loud crack as Bob's fist made contact with Mordecai's shoulder. Mordecai screamed in pain, one thing he made himself never do in Punchies. "AAAHHH! I think you broke my shoulder!!!" He exclaimed.
"And THAT'S why I became the jail tour guide." Bob explained. "Now, Mordecai, you have no choice but to escape with us and leave all your jail friends. Come on!" They began towards the giant hole in the wall when a guard came over the intercom.
"Mordecai and Rigby, please come to the main office," The intercom blared. "Oh, that's us!" Rigby exclaimed. Bob shoved Mordecai forward, beckoning him to follow Rigby.
"These girls are here to pick you up. Go! I don't want you here!!" The officer yelled. Mordecai and Rigby looked over to see Eileen and Margaret scolding them with arms crossed.
"Jail, Mordecai? Seriously?" Margaret questioned, more angry than he had ever seen her.
"Margaret, I, I..." Mordecai stuttered.
"I like bad boys," Eileen flirted, edging a little closer to Rigby.
"Come on guys. Let's go." Margaret grumbled.
Eileen giggled, walking as close as she could to Rigby. "Come on, bad boy!"