For the past two days, Sherlock didn't sleep. He was so focused on finding her that sleep wasn't an option anymore. He placed all the evidence on the wall above the fireplace and tried to piece them all together but he couldn't find any link. Who ever this is, they're very good, They had him stumped. He sat down on the couch with his head in his hands and sighed. After a moment he looked back up and saw 'Joan' standing in the corner.
'I know i'm not asleep or on drugs so how can you be here?.'
'Because you haven't slept in two days, you need to rest and you better not be on drugs.' She went over and sat next to him. 'Your not going to find me if your brain can't work.'
'It works fine, I've spent many a day without sleep. Especially when the police are after you.'
'But this is different. Your trying to piece this together but you can't find a connection and you know that's not like you.' Sherlock chuckled.
'Funny, even though your from my subconscious you even sound like Watson.'
'It's because in situations like this, This is how you expect me to be.' She got up and went over to look at the wall. 'You've done well so far.'
'But i still can't work out who would take you.'
'You thought about finding Irene?.'
'How? She is almost impossible to find.'
'So your saying even the great Sherlock Holmes couldn't find her?.' She looked over her shoulder and smiled at him.
'I'm not saying that at all. I could find her if i wanted too.' She looked back at the board, Sherlock got up from the couch and went to stand behind her. 'But i don't know where to start.' He hesitated a minuet then wrapped his arms around her waist. 'I'm sorry.'
'For what?.'
'Letting all this happen.' She lent back into him.
'It'll all be ok. Trust me.'He kissed the top of her head and once he pulled away she was gone. He felt tears coming to his eyes, She was gone again. He wished he could go back in time and stop all this. He remembered telling himself he would never fall in love again after what happened with Irene but he never anticipated meeting Joan Watson. He let the tears run down his face. He looked up at the board then decided to go onto the roof for some air to clear his head. He sat on the ledge and looked out to the city, knowing she was out there somewhere he just had to keep looking. He then heard the honk of a car, he looked down and saw Gregson. He signaled him to come up. After a couple minuets, he peered round the doorway.
'You come up hear often?.'
'Only when i need to really think.' Gregson could tell by his voice that he was crying.
'You ok Holmes?.'
'I'm fine.' Gregson sat next to him. Sherlock sighed then looked at him.
'Never known you to cry.'
'Surprise, the jerk has feelings(!).'
'No need to be like that. I've just never seen this side of you.'
'That's because i promised myself i would never let it happen again. I guess i was wrong about that one.' He got up and stood on the edge. 'You think if i died they would let her go?.'
Gregson looked up at him.
'What?.'
'If i jumped off here right now, do you think that will save her?.' Gregson got up and stood back from him. 'Because if i'm dead then they'd have to let her go.'
'Then you leave Joan alone and broken is that what you want?.' Gregson moved forward a little bit. 'Holmes, just think about this.'
'I have and it's the only option left.'
'There are many options left and this isn't one of them.' Sherlock looked down at the ground below and saw 'Joan' standing there with tears falling from her eyes.
'I'm...' He started to cry. 'I'm sorry.' Gregson moved forward. 'I'm so sorry.' He was about to jump but Gregson grabbed him and pulled him down. Sherlock grabbed hold of his coat and cried into his shoulder. Gregson had never seen him like this.
Half an hour later, Sherlock woke up on the couch. He got up and saw Gregson in the kitchen making some tea.
'How did I...'
'I had to carry you. You wouldn't stop crying.' He handed him a mug.
'Thank you.' He took a sip.
'Listen Holmes, i understand it's hard but you didn't need to take drugs.'
'I didn't.'
'Then why were you acting like that?.'
'I was sleep deprived.' He took another sip of his tea.
'You started you cry before you were about to jump, why?.'
'I saw Joan, standing there, crying.'
'You saw her?.' Sherlock nodded.
'I saw her in the living room too. I was trying to work out the connection but couldn't then she appeared.' Gregson looked at him with concern. 'It felt so real.'
'How.?'
'I could actually wrap my arms around her and tell her i was sorry.'
'Holmes, I think you should live somewhere else for the rest of the investigation. It's not doing you any could being here.'
'Thanks for your concern but i want to stay. I work better here, putting me somewhere else would make my brain function work even less.' He placed his mug on the side. 'I appreciate you helping me. By the way why were you here?.'
'I was coming to tell you we have Irene in custody.'
'I know i'm not asleep or on drugs so how can you be here?.'
'Because you haven't slept in two days, you need to rest and you better not be on drugs.' She went over and sat next to him. 'Your not going to find me if your brain can't work.'
'It works fine, I've spent many a day without sleep. Especially when the police are after you.'
'But this is different. Your trying to piece this together but you can't find a connection and you know that's not like you.' Sherlock chuckled.
'Funny, even though your from my subconscious you even sound like Watson.'
'It's because in situations like this, This is how you expect me to be.' She got up and went over to look at the wall. 'You've done well so far.'
'But i still can't work out who would take you.'
'You thought about finding Irene?.'
'How? She is almost impossible to find.'
'So your saying even the great Sherlock Holmes couldn't find her?.' She looked over her shoulder and smiled at him.
'I'm not saying that at all. I could find her if i wanted too.' She looked back at the board, Sherlock got up from the couch and went to stand behind her. 'But i don't know where to start.' He hesitated a minuet then wrapped his arms around her waist. 'I'm sorry.'
'For what?.'
'Letting all this happen.' She lent back into him.
'It'll all be ok. Trust me.'He kissed the top of her head and once he pulled away she was gone. He felt tears coming to his eyes, She was gone again. He wished he could go back in time and stop all this. He remembered telling himself he would never fall in love again after what happened with Irene but he never anticipated meeting Joan Watson. He let the tears run down his face. He looked up at the board then decided to go onto the roof for some air to clear his head. He sat on the ledge and looked out to the city, knowing she was out there somewhere he just had to keep looking. He then heard the honk of a car, he looked down and saw Gregson. He signaled him to come up. After a couple minuets, he peered round the doorway.
'You come up hear often?.'
'Only when i need to really think.' Gregson could tell by his voice that he was crying.
'You ok Holmes?.'
'I'm fine.' Gregson sat next to him. Sherlock sighed then looked at him.
'Never known you to cry.'
'Surprise, the jerk has feelings(!).'
'No need to be like that. I've just never seen this side of you.'
'That's because i promised myself i would never let it happen again. I guess i was wrong about that one.' He got up and stood on the edge. 'You think if i died they would let her go?.'
Gregson looked up at him.
'What?.'
'If i jumped off here right now, do you think that will save her?.' Gregson got up and stood back from him. 'Because if i'm dead then they'd have to let her go.'
'Then you leave Joan alone and broken is that what you want?.' Gregson moved forward a little bit. 'Holmes, just think about this.'
'I have and it's the only option left.'
'There are many options left and this isn't one of them.' Sherlock looked down at the ground below and saw 'Joan' standing there with tears falling from her eyes.
'I'm...' He started to cry. 'I'm sorry.' Gregson moved forward. 'I'm so sorry.' He was about to jump but Gregson grabbed him and pulled him down. Sherlock grabbed hold of his coat and cried into his shoulder. Gregson had never seen him like this.
Half an hour later, Sherlock woke up on the couch. He got up and saw Gregson in the kitchen making some tea.
'How did I...'
'I had to carry you. You wouldn't stop crying.' He handed him a mug.
'Thank you.' He took a sip.
'Listen Holmes, i understand it's hard but you didn't need to take drugs.'
'I didn't.'
'Then why were you acting like that?.'
'I was sleep deprived.' He took another sip of his tea.
'You started you cry before you were about to jump, why?.'
'I saw Joan, standing there, crying.'
'You saw her?.' Sherlock nodded.
'I saw her in the living room too. I was trying to work out the connection but couldn't then she appeared.' Gregson looked at him with concern. 'It felt so real.'
'How.?'
'I could actually wrap my arms around her and tell her i was sorry.'
'Holmes, I think you should live somewhere else for the rest of the investigation. It's not doing you any could being here.'
'Thanks for your concern but i want to stay. I work better here, putting me somewhere else would make my brain function work even less.' He placed his mug on the side. 'I appreciate you helping me. By the way why were you here?.'
'I was coming to tell you we have Irene in custody.'