Standing in a clearing with Merlin’s evil twin, Jethro, a big and scary and blue monster named Gary, and now Mordred – the dude who wanted to kill Arthur – would make anyone a little scared. But scared enough to turn and run screaming away? Not our fearless four!
Arthur turned and ran, screaming, away, but Merlin grabbed the back of his shirt. “Where do you think you’re going, mate?”
Mordred stood beside Jethro, radiating evil and cuteness. He was only a little boy, after all. He smiled at Merlin, Arthur, Donna and the Doctor. “I thought you would’ve guessed by now,” he said, “that I brought Jethro here using magic!”
“You did?” asked Jethro, looking around. “Really, thanks, I was beginning to miss this place.”
“You were?” Mordred asked. “In my opinion, I think it’s a bit dull.”
“Me, too!” said Donna. “Question for you: this place or Hawaii?”
“ENOUGH!” bellowed Mordred. “Aren’t any of you wondering why I brought Jethro here in the first place?”
Merlin shrugged. “No, not really.”
“I thought maybe you were sick or being alone and creepy,” said Arthur.
“Obviously,” said the Doctor, “you need him for something.”
Mordred smiled. “Finally, someone who actually has a brain. Yes, I need him for something. Something so important that I believe he isn’t that capable of doing, but never mind. Gary seems to like him and Gary’s hard to control.”
“Well, he is a giant monster,” Donna muttered.
“What’s the really important thing, then?” Merlin asked.
“Oh, it’s actually rather small,” said Mordred. “I just want you all dead, then I can give Jethro the TARDIS in return for his help and……… TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!! Muh ha ha.”
“Deal,” said Jethro. “Gary, eat them.”
Gary started advancing towards Merlin, Donna, Arthur and the Doctor. They were trapped!
“WAIT!!” Arthur shouted and everyone paused. “I have one more thing to ask.”
Mordred held up his hand and Gary stopped. “Well, get on with it. Ask away.”
Arthur looked at something just over Jethro’s shoulder and shouted, “WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!”
Jethro and Mordred turned around and the Doctor yelled, “RUN!” and he, Donna, Merlin and Arthur turned and ran away through the trees.
“God, I feel like a coward,” said Merlin as they ran.
“Would you rather be a coward or Gary food?” Donna asked.
“Gary food,” said Arthur and Merlin poked him with the stick.
There was a crash from behind them as Gary run through the trees, breaking branches and crushing bushes. He was gaining on them and he sounded hungry. Either that was him growling, or his belly.
“This is hopeless,” said Merlin. “We’re all going to die!!!!!!!! Waaaaa.”
At that moment, Gary leapt and he was suddenly in front of them, roaring. Merlin, Arthur, Donna and the Doctor skidded to a stop and looked up at their doom, ready to be eaten at any moment.
“Can’t you do some magic or something?” Donna shouted at Merlin, who was making shushing motions with his hands.
“No,” he said quickly. “Why would I know anything about magic?” He scoffed. “I’m not a sorcerer.”
“Uh, yes you are,” said the Doctor. “You know, the all mighty Merlin with the pointy hat and the white beard.”
“Never heard of him.”
“You’re a wizard!” Donna shouted. “So bloody act like one and make that monster turn into a puff of smoke already!!!”
Merlin looked at Arthur, who rolled his eyes. “You think I didn’t know? You’re more stupid than you look. Could you just hurry up and kill the monster before we die?”
“How’d you find out?” Merlin asked.
“OH, WOULD YOU JUST KILL IT?!?!?!?!” Donna screamed.
Merlin turned to face Gary, who was still staring at them and growling. Probably deciding which one to eat first. They all looked yummy.
Merlin raised his hand and said, “Abracadabra.”
There was a funny noise, the sound of Gary gurgling. Then he began to bubble. Little blue bubbles floated off his skin and went pop in the air. Arthur popped one with his finger and it burst all over him, covering him in sparkling blue stuff.
“What did you do?” the Doctor asked, looking up at Gary, who was trying to eat the bubbles that floated off him.
Merlin grinned. “Turned him into–”
There was a loud CRACK! and a billion blue bubbles. When they floated away and all popped, a little blue creature was sitting where Gary had been moments before.
“A cat,” said Donna. “You turned him into a cat.”
“Isn’t he cute?” said Merlin, walking forward to pick up Gary. “Hello, puss.”
“Mew,” said Gary.
“Ooh, ooh, ooh!! Let me hold him,” said Arthur, taking Gary from Merlin. “A cootchie-coo, little kitty. Mew mew mew. You’re so cute. Yes you are, yes you are. Oh, a little pussy–”
“Drop. The. Cat.”
“Aah!” Arthur dropped Gary and they all looked up to see Mordred and Jethro coming through the path off destruction that Gary had made.
“Oh, Gary!” Jethro shouted. “You ruined my monster.”
“Yeah, but now he’s cute,” said Donna. “Isn’t that a plus?”
“Guess you can’t kill us now,” said the Doctor. “No Gary, no guts, no problem.” He smiled. “We’ll just be going now.”
They started to leave, but Mordred said, “Oh no, you don’t. I can still kill you myself, and I believe I will.”
“But first,” said the Doctor, pulling a bar of chocolate from his pocket. “Don’t you want some candy?”
Mordred eyed the chocolate as Jethro ran to pick up Gary. Then he hurried back to Mordred’s side and Merlin snapped his fingers. “Kazam.”
There was a puff of white smoke and Jethro and Mordred were suddenly locked in an unbreakable cage.
“Hey, hey,” said Mordred. “You can’t do this to me. You know I’ll just escape, I’m way more powerful than you.”
“As if, shortie,” said Merlin with a grin.
“Merlin,” Jethro begged. “Listen, I know I’ve been bad, but I’m your brother. Honest, I won’t do anymore nasty things. Let me out!! PLEASE!!”
Merlin nodded. “Alright.” He snapped his fingers again and Jethro was suddenly standing beside the Doctor, with Gary still in his arms and Mordred still in the cage, banging his head against the bars.
“Time to go?” said Donna.
“Hawaii, here we come,” said the Doctor. “See you later, Merlin. Thanks for saving my life, I guess I’ll have to say. And byebye to you, too, Arthur. Hurry up and take over from your stupid dad.”
“Will do, mate,” said Arthur.
“Bye,” said Merlin.
“Bye, cuties,” said Donna and she and the Doctor headed back to where the TARDIS waited for them.
Jethro watched them go, then he chucked Gary at Merlin, who caught him. “I’m going with them,” Jethro said. “I’ve been away too long and I don’t actually like it here, I’ve decided.”
“Really?” Arthur said.
“Really,” Jethro said.
“I’ll miss you, then,” Merlin told him.
“You, too, Merls. Keep up the good work.”
Merlin nodded and Jethro ran off after the Doctor and Donna. Merlin and Arthur watched him go, then they turned and headed the other way, back towards Camelot, leaving Mordred screaming after them.
“So,” said Merlin, a few hours later and they were still walking. “When’d you figure out that I was a sorcerer?”
“You know how I was going to tell you something about when the Dragon attacked Camelot?” Arthur said.
“Yep, I remember.”
“Well, I saw you talking to the Dragon and everything,” Arthur admitted. “I just pretended I didn’t see because I thought, maybe, you were crazy. But I mean, I stabbed it in the leg and you said I dealt a mortal blow or whatever. Seriously, as if that would make a dragon fly away.”
“You’d be surprised,” said Merlin with a grin. “He’s a big woss. Kinda like Gary.”
“Meow,” said Gary.
“But it was kinda obvious,” said Arthur.
“Yeah. But don’t worry, I won’t tell me dear old dad,” he said. “He chop your head off and then who would I have to do all my chores?”
“Someone who might actually like slaving after you all day,” said Merlin. “I mean, have smelt your clothes? And I have to wash them!! Ew.”
“Merlin?” said Arthur.
“You really are an idiot.”