Oh what might have been – and what should have been? Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson as Harry and Hermione in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Photograph: Jaap Buitendijk
Age: 13-60.
Appearance: Fervid.
As in feverish? Have they tried taking paracetamol? No, the fire that burns within a shipper burns with a fierceness that no mere over-the-counter antipyretic may douse.
Yes, definitely. Except I don't understand a word of what you said. What is a shipper? You know Harry Potter?
I do. You know Hermione Granger?
That's the girl, right? It is.
In that case, yes. Did you ever wish they'd, you...
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