Sketchy Beginnings
Tawni: Yes, sprinkle us with your Wisconsin funny dust.
Tawni: We Don't want to hear your cheers. Not your sis, not your boom, and not your ba.
Sonny: But what if I have a really awesome baa?
West coast story
Sonny: We were trying to make peace.
Chad: Please, you were trying to trap us.
Sonny: Trap you? You've obviously been watching your show too much. You know, not everything is cutthroat and gossipy? Sometimes people do things because they're trying to be nice.
Chad: Do they, Sonny? Do they, really? Look, it was sweet of you to put that picnic together. It was way sweet. But the bad blood between our two shows has run too deep for too long to be healed by a bowl of egg salad, and even the best of intentions. [holds Sonny's hand] Just because you wish for something doesn't make it so.
Sonny: Oh, Chad Dylan--
Chad: Shh. The time for talking is over. I must go. So run-- run back to your show, and put your sweet little dreams of peace to bed. [walks away]
Sonny: (staring at Chad) What just happened?
Chad: You know. A lot of people say that it's So Random! that we won this award. But it's not So Random! ... it's never So Random! . Because Mackenzie Falls rules! Thank you, Tweens!
Chad: Not bad. Perhaps there's a spot for you on MacKenzie Falls... after Portlyn disappears in a mysterious ballooning accident.
Sonny: My problem is everything my friends...and Tawni told me about you was true.
Sonny at the falls
Sonny Munroe: This is last you will see of Sonny Munroe! I mean other than the fact that we have to rehearse.
Tawni, Nico, Grady, Zora: Yeah.
Nico: We have names!
Chad: Yeah, but remembering them would take effort and interest and...excuse
Zora: Why is Zac Efron up there?
Chad: Because it's my wall,and I like saying I banned Zac Efron.
Sonny: You wanna know what I think about that? I'll tell you what I think about that...... TAKE WHAT YOU CAN AND RUN!!!
Grady: this is like that episode of Mackenzie Falls where they blinded that girl and brainwashed her... not that i watch it
Nico: not that i watch it either, but that was never an episode.
You've got fan mail
Sonny: Why are you helping me?
Chad: I'm not helping you. I just wanted to try on the beard.
Sonny: Sounds like somebody cares.
Chad: Somebody... wanted to try on a werid beard.
Sonny: Cares.
Chad: Beards.
Sonny: Cares.
Chad: Beards.
Sonny: Cares.
Chad: Beards.
Sonny: Beards.
Chad: Cares.
Sonny: Gotcha!
Tanwi: Any fan of Sonny's is a fan of mine! Right?
Sonny as Eric: Not necessarily.
Chad: (sees Sonny putting "Eric" into a box) I knew I recognized you. You're Weird Beard. Why are you Weird Beard?
Sonny: Why do you care?
Chad: I don't know. Let's give it a shot.
Sonny: Well, I sent myself a fan letter, pretended to be my own fan, and now I get to go out on stage and meet the fan I'm pretending to be.
Chad: Why would you write yourself a fan letter?
Sonny: Because I lost faith in myself.
Chad: Oh. Classic case of actor insecurity. You start doubting your abilities, wondering whether you were good enough and whether you deserve to be on TV.
Sonny: So you've been through this before?
Chad: No, no. No, but I made you think I had which is why I'll never go through it. Whew!
Sonny: Those are all for me!
Tawni: No! They're all for-Sonny?
Sonny: You've been hiding my fan mail.
Tawni: You're pretending to be your own fan?
Sonny: You committed mail fraud!
Tawni: You committed fan fraud!
Sonny: Fan fraud's not illegal!
Tawni: Mail fraud's not embarrassing!
Cheater girls
Tawni: Are you insulting me with geometry?
Three's Not Company
Chad: So I, uh, guess I'll be seeing you at my party tonight?
Sonny: Yeah. As much as I'd love to come bask in the glory of your Chadness, I can't make it.
Chad: So you were the no? You were the one person I invited who's not coming? Wow. I always knew this would happen to me someday. I just really expected it to come from a Tisdale or a Montana.
Fast Friends
Chad: Oh, we're very good friends.
Sonny: Actually, we can't stand each other.
Chad: And this is the kind of fun we get to have every day.
Sonny: Which apparently is starting today.
Chad: Isn't she adorable? That's why Sonny's my favorite member of So Random.
Sonny: Really?
Chad: Yes, really. Santiago you are lucky to be getting this interview this girl's going places. Speaking of which I got to go.
Santiago Heraldo: You've got some dog's to shove.
Chad: Shoving dogs towards bowls of food that I lovingly lay out for them. You know why I love puppies.
Sonny: (after Chad hands her a puppy) Oh, he's so cute!
Chad: Yeah, when I saw him I thought of you.
Sonny: That's a compliment, right?
Chad: Of course.
Sonny: Well, then tell Santiago. I want people to know me for who I am.
Chad: And I want people to know me for who I'm not. Look, I like you. And I'm sorry the rest of the world doesn't know the real you.
Sonny: It's your fault.
Chad: Is it, Sonny? Is it, really?
Sonny: Yes. It is. Really!
Sonny With a Chance of Dating
Chad: Sonny.
Sonny: Chad.
Chad: Anyway they're shooting our scene we should probably go.
Sonny: Oh, you're on Mackenzie Falls this week? Let me guess, stuck up Mackenzie being chased by bad boy bank robber.
Chad: Let me guess, Life of the Boston Tea Party.
Sonny: Well, at least my show brings joy to the viewers.
Chad: At least my show has viewers.
James Conroy: You know, for something you said was nothing, that sure seemed like something.
Sonny: Oh, well, you know, it's a day-to-day something. Sometimes hour-by-hour. I don't know, it's complicated. He's complicated.
Tawni: Where's your idiot friend?
Chad: Bart! (Bart comes out)
Tawni: Not that idiot. James. Yeah, the one who's going out with Sonny tonight.
Chad: I'm sorry, what?
Tawni: James, Sonny, date, tonight.
Chad: Date? Sonny? Tonight? James?
Tawni: So where is he?
Chad: Right now he's breaking into the first bank of MacKenzie Falls. (sirens go)
Tawni: What is your show even about?
Chad: Oh, this week's our Christmas episode. Yeah, in the end he realizes he had a wonderful life.
Tawni: Look, just tell James to back off of Sonny.
Chad: Why do you want him to back off Sonny?
Tawni: Why are you wearing a bib?
Chad: You jealous?
Tawni: I have my own bib!
Chad: Not of the bib, of Sonny! What...?
Tawni: No. I'm trying to protect her. Why do you want him to back off Sonny?
Chad: I... never said I did.
Tawni: Oh, your lips say I don't care, but your eyes say I do care!
Sonny: Do you really think I would kiss you?
Chad: Well, that's what I'm putting on my blog. (Rolls across cantine floor) Peace out suckas! Blahaa!
Sonny: Okay. (puts her head on Chad's shoulder) This is nice... in theory.
Chad: Yeah, we, uh ... make a good couple. Hypothetically.
Sonny and the Studio Brat
Tawni: [holding up magazine showing MacKenzie Falls cast in cool places] And who do you see there? And there, and there, and there! [flipping through magazine]
Grady: Chad Dylan Cooper, and the cast of MacKenzie Falls.
Nico: Yeah, she's right we need to be seen in cool places.
Tawni: Yes, that's why we're going to a place so cool, so exclusive, so underground, it doesn't even exist.
Grady: We're going to Narnia?
Later - The Basement - Tawni dancing.
Grady: [holding a sword] This isn't Narnia!
Chad: (Chad's voicemail) Hey you've reached Chad Dylan Cooper. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now, because if you were important enough, you'd have the number to my phone I answer!
Sonny: Let's go get some ice-cream
Dakota: (looks at Mackenzie falls poster) Mackenzie Falls shoots here. I had no idea. I love Chad Dylan Cooper!
Sonny: Yeah, so does Chad Dylan Cooper.
Chad: (scared) Oh Daddy?
Sonny: Daddy, there's your funny little punchline! Boy is he gonna be mad at you for yelling at his daughter!
Mr. Condor: Sonny, you brought my precious angel to a Hollywood club?
(Sonny and Chad start backing away)
Chad: Looks like he's mad at you.
Mr. Condor: Oh no, he's mad at you too!
Sonny: Actually Mr. Condor, it's a really funny story!
Chad: Trust me it's really not that funny.
Promises, Prom-misses
Sonny: Well, Chad, you were right. All proms end in disaster.
Chad: Do they Sonny? Do they really? Because sometimes, I heard, you get to have that perfect dance, with that one special person. [takes out headphones] You're just going to have to settle for me.
[Sonny smiles and takes a headphone]
[they start slow dancing]
Sonny: This is sweet.
Chad: I have my moments.
Sonny: You gonna press play?
Chad: Oh, right.
Chad: Oh hey Sonny.
Sonny: Sorry Chad, can't talk, I'm in a hurry.
Chad: Oh right, right that whole secret prom, (Sonny turns around) They're not that much of a secret when every kid on the lot is walking around with flyers that read 'Secret Prom!'
Sonny: Aren't you exited? I'm even exited about how exited I am!
Chad: Yeah, we're not really feeling that over at the Falls...mostly we just think it's dumb?
Sonny: Well, if you think it's so dumb, then maybe you and your little snobby friends at Mackenzie Falls shouldn't come.
Chad: Well maybe we won't.
Sonny: Good! 'Cause your officially uninvited.
Chad: Good 'Cause we officially wouldn't have come anyway.
Sonny: You're only saying that cause I just uninvited you.
Chad: You only uninvited me because I just said I didn't wanna come.
Sonny: Are we done here?
Chad: Oh we're beyond done.
Sonny: Good!
Chad: Good!
Sonny: Good!
Chad: Good!
Sonny: So we're good?
Chad: Oh we're so good.
Sonny: I can't believe I missed it! (bumps into Chad)
Chad: Whoa, watch it.
Sonny: Chad? Oh my gosh what happened? (refers to Chad's black eye)
Chad: Oh, I just got in a huge fight over at the Falls.
Sonny: (nods) They don't like you either?
Chad: Funny. No we were shooting a scene. I know it's hard to believe I can look this good when I look this bad huh? (Sonny looks down) Normally that would've charmed you. What's up with you?
Sonny: Nothing, I'm just a little bummed. I missed my prom back home and I just got some pictures from my best friend.
Chad: Oh pshht. You're not missing much! I've been to a bunch of proms and they have all ended in disaster.
Sonny: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
Chad: Yeah, episode 10, my hair caught on fire. Last year's season finale, my date turns out to be my long lost sister...
Sonny: What? Chad those are fake proms.
Chad: Fake proms, real proms they all stink.
Sonny: No they don't! They're romantic! You know a girl dreams her whole life about going to the prom and sharing that perfect dance with a very special guy.
Chad: And then he gets hit in the head by a faulty disco ball, episode 16!
Sonny: You know what Chad? you wouldn't know real romance if it punched you in the face. In fact you wouldn't know a real punch in the face if it punched you in the face, because there is nothing real about you.
Chad: Well here's something real for you, I really don't wanna stand here and talk to you.
Sonny: Good! Cause I really don't wanna stand here and talk to you!
Chad: Good!
Sonny: Good!
Chad: Good! (Sonny and Chad turn and walk different directions) (Chads phone rings) Hello?
Sonny: Good!
(Sonny walks in prop house)
Sonny: Good!
Chad: (on phone) Good.
Sonny: Good!
Chad: Good
Sonny: Good! and goodbye! (hangs up cell phone) Chad says hi!
Sonny: Chad? What are you doing here? You weren't invited.
Chad: Oh you see, I was invited, but I didn't wanna go, so then I got uninvited so now I had to go. (walks into prom)
Sonny: No no no no no no no. (blocks him) You're not going into my prom before I do
Marshall: Sweetheart, look, I have nothing against proms, but if I let you have a prom I have to give in to everybody.Nico gets his carnival, Grady gets his puppet show. We'll all be living in Tawnitown. Is that what you want? Do you want to be living in Tawni town?
Sonny: I... hear it's a heck of a town?
Sonny: Ok, I think we've said it enough times. (grins) We're having a secret prom!
Grady: Ah, how come you got to say it again?
Sonny: Because I wrote the book.
Tawni: I thought you checked out a book?
Grady: Oh, wait, I'm confused.
Sonny: (sighs) Ok, there's no book, but we're having a prom.
Nico: A secret prom though?
Sonny: Yes. Are we all on the same page?!
Grady: Whoa, wait. There's a page??
Sonny: (throws hands up in frustration) Really?!
The Heartbreak Kids
Chad: Then you and me are going to have to go to Lookout Mountain.
Sonny: I'm not going to lookout mountain with you. That's a date place.
Chad: Do you want them broken up?
Sonny: Yes.
Chad: Pick you up at eight. (winks at sonny)
Sonny: (smiles)
Sonny: How it this suppose to break up Bitterman and Marshal?
Chad: It's all in the script.
Sonny: What script?!
Chad: (takes out Makenzie falls script) Episode 319 of Mackenzie Falls! Bigfoot gets the girl, it's a classic!
Sonny: (takes script away from Chad) Oh my gosh..This is your plan? This isn't real; this is a show!
Chad: Sonny, sometimes life imitates art! Okay? And this piece of art happens to be about a couple who takes a drive up Lookout Mountain for a romantic evening...
Nico: Yeah, and then Bigfoot comes out the woods and scares them!
Chad: Yeah, and the guy gets so freaked out, he runs away.
Sonny: And that gets the girl to break up with him...
Chad: Exactly!
Sonny: Oh my gosh...THAT IS THE WORST PLAN I'VE EVER HEARD FROM THE WORST SHOW I'VE NEVER SEEN! (Chad looks insulted)
Chad: Well, here come the lovebirds, so unless you like the chewy tastes of worms...
Sonny: Nico, put your head back on!
Sonny: With this.(holds up a salt shaker)
Grady: A magic salt shaker?
Sonny: If anyone gets caught eat the instructions!Got any questions?(Grady raises his hand)Yes Grady?
Grady: What happens if I've already eaten lunch,I'm kinda full,do I still have to eat the instructions?
Sonny: Yes.
Grady: Well can you put the instructions on cake?
Sonny: No!
Grady: Cookies?
Sonny: No! NOW GO! GO! GO!
(Nico and Grady march out the room)
Sonny:(to Tawni) You wanna go get some cake?
Tawni: Ooh...and cookies.
Sonny: I can't just come between love.
Tawni: I don't want you to come between it,I want you to crush it!
Battle of the Network Stars
Selena: [Through megaphone] YOU TWO ARE...PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER! I'M OUT OF HERE!
Chad: Wait, wait! So you're leaving my movie?
Selena: Heh, I don't need this! I was in Camp Hiphop! [walks away]
Sonny: Okay, bye Selena! It was nice working with you! Awww, she seems nice. I should call her.
Chad: Why? You're gonna become BFFs with Selena Gomez?
Sonny: Pfft... It could happen! So... do you really think I have pretty hair?
Chad: I dunno... Do you really think I have sparkly eyes?
Sonny: I dunno... Well one of them is.
Chad: So...you wanna be in my movie? I kind of need a Sonny.
Sonny: Fine.
Chad: Fine.
Sonny: Good.
Chad: Good.
Sonny: Fine.
Chad: Fine. I’ll set you up an audition. Nine o’clock?
Sonny: Really, Chad? Really?
Chad: (into the megaphone, quickly) Fine. You got the part.
Sonny:Sorry it's just...this is the type of thing Chad does just to push my buttons.
Selena: (into tape recorder) Has buttons.
Chad: Oh Sonny, try to stop yourself from falling in love with me, I beg you!
Sonny: (rolls her eyes)
Selena: I'm just a small town girl with a big town dream, and meeting you was the biggest dream of all.
Sonny: Ok CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT!
Chad: Again! Really?
Selena: It's okay Chad. She's helping me out.
Sonny: Okay now Selena, remember your biggest dream is to be on So Random! Chad is just a monster who wakes you up! (glares at Chad)and remember that you hate him! You just really, really hate him! (Chad glares at sonny) Action. (walks off set)
Chad: Sonny-
Sonny: Oh and one more thing! He is the worst actor of our generation!
Chad: BART!(Bart comes out and gives Chad a megaphone) CUT! CUT! Stop the lying!
Sonny: You stop the lying!
Chad: You stop the lying!
Selena: STOP! STOP BEING- STOP, JUST STOP IT!
(Nico and Grady walk into the prophouse and find their lookalikes are gone.)
Nico: Hey, where'd we go? (Tawni walks in)
Tawni: I forgot something.
Grady: Wha--- (Tawni slaps him and walks out)
Nico: Oh, you're gonna need some ice for that.
Grady: What did I do?
Chad: [In Megaphone] Yes Take That Selena!
Sonny: [In Megaphone] In Your Face Gomez!
Tales From The Prop House
Sonny: (on phone) Chad can we talk this out like normal people? He said he's on his way back.
Chad: (bursts in on forklift)
Cast: (screams)&(Hides)
Chad: So what do you wanna discuss?
Sonny: Oh. It's a signed picture...of you.
Chad: look how its signed.
Sonny: 'To my biggest fan: I sorry T.V.'s Chad Dylan Cooper' Aww. I'm touched! That's so sweet Chad!
Sonny's In The Kitchen With Dinner
Chad: (pointing to a magazine with Sonny and Hayden kissing on the cover) Who is this guy?!
Tawni: The love of my life!
Chad: (voice high)THEN WHY IS SHE KISSING HIM?!
Tawni: I DON'T KNOW!
Sonny: I told you it was the kiss cam!
Nico: Sonny...
Sonny: IT WAS THE KISS CAM!
(Chad bursts into Sonny's apartment)
Chad: Freeze!
Tawni: Don't touch my purse!
Hayden: Chad Dylan Cooper! This is awesome. What are doing here?
Chad: I got a weird call from Sonny's cell. I heard screaming and crushing metal, so I cut my massage to an hour and rushed right over!
Chad: You mean (takes out tickets) these?
Sonny: Thanks Chad! (reaches for tickets)
Chad: Ah. (moves tickets out of Sonny's reach)Not so fast. I have these tickets because?
Sonny: (smiles) You're the star of Mackenzie Falls, the number one tween show.
Chad: Oh! That's worth one! (hands her one) (Sonny nods)
Sonny: and.. you have the best tasting sandwich in the whole cafeteria!
Chad: (fake gasps) Here's number two. (gives her the second ticket) You wanna go for three?
Sonny: Can't.
Chad: Oooh, say it!
Sonny: I won't. (Chad waves ticket is Sonny's face)
Chad: Say it.
Sonny: (muffled) You're..the greatest actor of our gener-ation....
Chad: (hands her the third ticket) Enjoy the game. (Sonny smiles at him)
Sonny In The Middle
Sonny: Oh, hey Chad.
Chad: When's the party starting?
Sonny: This is it.
Chad:(confused) These look like the people who usally WORK at Mackenzie Falls parties.
Sonny: (Bumps in the wall and the chair lights up) Yeah, it lights up! It's a cool seat.(rolls away on chair)
Guess Who's Coming To Guest Star
Chad: And finally after we kiss, you'll be hooked.
Sonny: After we what?!
Chad: Kiss, four little letters just like my name.
Sonny: And you're nuts! Four little letters, just like your name!
Chad: Now I know what you're doing; you don't wanna look me in the eyes.
Sonny: Pffft! What are you talking about?
Chad: Fine. Then take off the hat.
Sonny: Fine. (takes off hat to reveal a smaller hat)
Chad: You're wearing a hat under a hat? Phew! You had the dream, didn't you?
(Sonny's eyes widens) Yeah, it's OK. Tisdale wore 6 hats, but that didn't stop destiny.
Sonny: There is no destiny! There is no you and me! There is no- Wow. I never realized what a deep shade of blue your eyes are.
(both lean into kiss)
Sonny: (snapping out of it) Oh my gosh, what am I doing?!
Chad: Ah, getting lost in me eyes. Check! Now then all that's left is the kiss.
Sonny: (takes off hat) You know what?! I will not kiss you! Not in a million years! You and I don't kiss not now, not ever!
Marshal: (comes out of nowhere) You two are gonna kiss!
Sonny: Let's just get this sketch over with.
Chad: Alright, but after it happens, you know we're gonna be in love.
Sonny: We?
Chad: (stammering) Yo-you I said you.
Sonny: You said we.
Chad: OK fine, but we is my nickname for you! We happy?
Cookie Monster
Sonny: (holding back Zora) Chad, I can't believe you didn't even thank me for saving your life.
Chad: (holding back Dakota) Look, I will have you know, I was choking on purpose, okay? To get your silly little merit badge, it's called acting.
Sonny: Yeah and you're not that good of an actor.
Chad: Acting.
Sonny: Choking.
(Chad and Sonny put Dakota and Zora down)
Chad: Acting.
Sonny: Choking!
Chad: Oh really?! Someone better hold me back.
(Dakota holds Chad back while Zora holds Sonny back)
Sonny: Dakota Condor; She thinks that just cause her dad owns the studio that she can have anything she wants!
Dakota: Hey Monroe, gimme your muffin!
Sonny: Anything you want!
Dakota: Hi Chad! How about joining me for lunch?
Chad: Oh hi Dakota. Yeah I'd love to. Actually I'm due on set for rehearsal.
Dakota: Not if my daddy cancels your show.
Chad: (high voice) Oh what are we having?
Zora: Hi Chad. How would the greatest actor of this generation like to buy a box of cookies?
Chad: (takes out money) You had me at greatest actor of this generation.
Sonny: I once had a friend who was a little bloomer. She was only one merit badge shy of becoming a full grown blossom scout. [Starts having flash back]
Mrs. Mongergoure: Sonny Monroe, you will NEVER be a Blossom Scout!!! [Rips of Sonny's stouch. Sonny starts crying. Flashback ends and Sonny if still crying.]
Sonny: My friend never got to realize her dream.
Tawni: Im not really paying attention. And I can already tell this freind of your's is you.
Zora: Well would you or your friend like to buy a box of cookies?
Sonny: You know what put me down for a box
Zora: ONE STINKING BOX I'M TRYING TO BREAK THE COOKIE SELLING RECORD!
Zora: It's the only record I don't currently hold!
Tawni: (with make up all over her face) Why so SERIOUS?
Sonny: You know what the joker's right.
Sonny so far
(Chad, Sonny and Tawni all look towards screen) (shows a clip of Chad and Sonny)
Tawni: Whoa.
Sonny: Where did you get that?
Gilroy: Didn't know you were being filmed, huh? Apparently someone in Makenzie Falls doesn't like Sonny very much. So as we say on the show.....GOTCHA!
Sonny: What? You 'gotched' nothing, alright? That was totally taken out of context.
Gilroy: That's what I do! If I were to wait for things to be in context I would not have a show. Still, seems the two of you of a little something, something going on... care to comment?
Sonny: I can't believe Gilroy tried to do that to us!
Chad: Yeah, the guy's a jerk. I can't believe I read that book for nothing.
Sonny: You know, Tawni and I made a pact earlier that we wouldn't tell anyone secrets, and I think that we should probably do the same thing.
Chad: Okay fine, I didn't read the book! (Sonny looks at him) Wha-oh no, you were talking about the us, (Sonny nods) yeah, we don't have secrets!....Do we?
Sonny: Uh-I don't know, do we?
(Sonny and Chad on the monitor)
Sonny: I mean, what if it's something like us, liking each other...
Chad: Yeah, I mean don't really wanna talk about my feelings in front of a live studio audience.
Sonny: Yeah, yeah yeah right, I mean especially feelings we've never talked about before.
Chad: Yeah..you have feelings?
Sonny: yeah,Do you have feelings?
Chad: I-I mean since you're really asking...it's just two of us....
Sonny: Right! I mean this time there's no cameras or anything.
Chad: Yeah, I really...I just....
Sonny: No, listen. It's what I'm here for. (Chad smiles at her) You go first!
Chad: No you go first.
Sonny: No you g- ok same time.
Chad: Yeah.
Sonny: One... two...
Chad: I was gonna say that yeah, um, 2 and a half?
(Tanwi grabs the remote and turns off camera)
Walk A Mile In My Pants
Sonny: Hey Chad. Did you hear about my Walk-a-Thon for books?
Chad: Oh yes, we did. And I have to say Sonny, you are very inspiring,thats why I love you sonny.
Sonny: Well, we have so much. It's important that we give back.
Chad: (laughs) Aah, I meant you inspired me to have a Walk-a-Thon against your Walk-a-Thon.
Sonny: (Pauses to look at the flyer Chad handed to her) A Walk-a-thon against books? How could you be against books Chad ?
Chad: That's easy. The more you read, the less you watch MacKenzie Falls.
Sonny: That's your cause Chad, To get people to watch more TV? your are such a jerk.
Chad: Are you not listening? It's to get them to read less. I'll see you at the Walk-a-Thon to read less books. (turns and turns back around) I've got something to tell you Sonny. We're gonna raise more money than you.
Sonny: For what?
Chad: Not buy books.
Sonny: That makes no sense.
Chad: Aah. Guess all that reading you're doing isn't making you any smarter now, is it? See ya.
Chad: We're gonna look hotter than you at the Walk-a-Thon.
Sonny: (laughs) Giving back is whats hot!
Chad: That's what people who don't look hot say.
Chad: Sonny! Sonny, come here! I need to tell you something, in case I don't make it.
Sonny: Okay.
Chad: I love...
Sonny: Yes?
Chad: I mean I deeply love..
Sonny: Go on!
Chad: ...that more kids are reading less books because of Chad Dylan Cooper!
Sonny: (lets go of Chad's hand and touches his forehead) Oh no! I think you're coming down with P.F.S. too!
Chad: What's that!?
Sonny: (picks up pillow) Pillow in the Face Syndrome! (hits Chad with pillow)
Doctor: Ms. Monroe!
Sonny: Yeah, just fluffing Doc! (throws pillow at Chad and walks over to the doctor)
Chad: Give it to me straight, doctor! I can take it.
Doctor: You have L.B.S.
Chad: (gasps) Leaving Boy Syndrome?!
Doctor: No. Lack of Book Syndrome! Also known as Lazy Butt Syndrome! lbs is also the abbreviation of pounds, (starts poking Chad), which is what you are going to gain if you don't stop watching yourself on T.V.
Chad: Can't you just cut my pants off? You know how you do?
Doctor: Read two books, then call me in the morning, Mr. Cooper. (hands Chad a perscription)
Chad: (Looks at perscription) Actually it's Dylan Cooper.
Doctor: Not anymore, I removed your Dylan while you were under.
Chad: NO! What did you do to it?!
Doctor: I gave it to someone who wouldn't waste it! (Opens curtains to reveal Grady)
Doctor: Good afternoon, Mr. Grady Dylan Mitchell.
Grady: I got my Dylan. I've been waiting for 2 years!
Chad: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (cries) WHY?!
(Chad wakes up)
Chad: I must have fallen asleep reading. Stupid books. That was horrible! (closes book)
Sonny: We have to make this work.The only way we can get Tawni to walk with us,is if we wear her jeans,because her fans will see her on TV,us wearing her jeans,sell her more jeans,raise more money for books,and less money for no books, and everyone wins except Chad!
Nico: We're gonna need a butt-horn for the butt-horn,'cause this baby ain't coming out.
Sonny:(to Tawni) About the butt-horn, you might want to re-think the placement of your face.
Tawni: I'd rather crawl hot then walk ugly.
Sonny Get Your Goat
Tawni: I don't know why you're packing, you're not going anywhere until you apologize!
Sonny: I don't know why you're packing because I'm not apologizing!
Tawni: Of course you're apologizing it's your thing, you apologize. It's the circle of life (Pretends to draw a circle in the air) cir-cle!
Sonny: And here's what I think about you (Makes hand motion) cir-cle (Pretends to grab circle)
Tawni: (Gasp) What are you doing to my circle?!
Sonny: I'm ripping it! (Pretends to rip circle)
Tawni: Give me that! (They start fighting for the circle)
Sonny: Got it! (Tawni cries)
Sonny: Let Tawni have her fancy european adventure,let her be mobbed by adoring fans,let her be wooed by gorgeous boy with accents...
Marshal: Pushed you out,didn't she?
Sonny: Yeah.
Gassie Passes
Sonny: (to Gassie) You know, I used to have a dog just like you in Wisconsin. Yeah, except he was a beagle with three legs and one eye. We called him Lucky! Or... or Limpy. Or Blindy. But, you know, it didn't matter what we called him because he was deaf too!
Sonny: I didn't come here to argue I came here to give Gassie some dog time. Beneath the trees and on grass...
Chad: Except the grass is plastic and the trees are cardboard(through the bull-horn)THIS IS A SET.
Sonny: Good then what Gassie is doing to that bush over there wont kill it.
(looking at the Gassie & We movie poster)
Tawni: Why is Gassie's head bigger then mine?
Sonny: Well, I'm not sure that it is.
(lunch-box lets out a farting sound)
Sonny: Gross! you want people to buy that and then put food in it?
Zora: Gross sells sister.
Dakota: You have have very nice blue eyes.
Grady: Why thank you.
Dakota: It'd be a shame if you lost one of them!
Grady: Yeah it would.
Dakota: Now hand me to the Matador!(Grady hands her to Nico)
Nico: Hola?
Chad: You just found out your boyfriend's a vampire,you're scared,you're confused,you have two holes in your neck what do you do? AND ACTION!
Sonny with a Song
Chad: "Bangs and Fangs" we all get awesome hair and get bitten by vampires.
Nico: Is your show written by monkeys?
Chad: Chad Dylan Cooper fears nothing.
Sonny: Spiders.
Chad: Not the little ones.
Sonny: Heights.
Chad: Not the little ones.
To be continued....
P.S.
Sorry if there are any mistakes.The things I wrote were the quotes I remembered. Feel free to correct the mistakes in the comment section and feel free to add some of your fav. SWAC quotes.
Tawni: Yes, sprinkle us with your Wisconsin funny dust.
Tawni: We Don't want to hear your cheers. Not your sis, not your boom, and not your ba.
Sonny: But what if I have a really awesome baa?
West coast story
Sonny: We were trying to make peace.
Chad: Please, you were trying to trap us.
Sonny: Trap you? You've obviously been watching your show too much. You know, not everything is cutthroat and gossipy? Sometimes people do things because they're trying to be nice.
Chad: Do they, Sonny? Do they, really? Look, it was sweet of you to put that picnic together. It was way sweet. But the bad blood between our two shows has run too deep for too long to be healed by a bowl of egg salad, and even the best of intentions. [holds Sonny's hand] Just because you wish for something doesn't make it so.
Sonny: Oh, Chad Dylan--
Chad: Shh. The time for talking is over. I must go. So run-- run back to your show, and put your sweet little dreams of peace to bed. [walks away]
Sonny: (staring at Chad) What just happened?
Chad: You know. A lot of people say that it's So Random! that we won this award. But it's not So Random! ... it's never So Random! . Because Mackenzie Falls rules! Thank you, Tweens!
Chad: Not bad. Perhaps there's a spot for you on MacKenzie Falls... after Portlyn disappears in a mysterious ballooning accident.
Sonny: My problem is everything my friends...and Tawni told me about you was true.
Sonny at the falls
Sonny Munroe: This is last you will see of Sonny Munroe! I mean other than the fact that we have to rehearse.
Tawni, Nico, Grady, Zora: Yeah.
Nico: We have names!
Chad: Yeah, but remembering them would take effort and interest and...excuse
Zora: Why is Zac Efron up there?
Chad: Because it's my wall,and I like saying I banned Zac Efron.
Sonny: You wanna know what I think about that? I'll tell you what I think about that...... TAKE WHAT YOU CAN AND RUN!!!
Grady: this is like that episode of Mackenzie Falls where they blinded that girl and brainwashed her... not that i watch it
Nico: not that i watch it either, but that was never an episode.
You've got fan mail
Sonny: Why are you helping me?
Chad: I'm not helping you. I just wanted to try on the beard.
Sonny: Sounds like somebody cares.
Chad: Somebody... wanted to try on a werid beard.
Sonny: Cares.
Chad: Beards.
Sonny: Cares.
Chad: Beards.
Sonny: Cares.
Chad: Beards.
Sonny: Beards.
Chad: Cares.
Sonny: Gotcha!
Tanwi: Any fan of Sonny's is a fan of mine! Right?
Sonny as Eric: Not necessarily.
Chad: (sees Sonny putting "Eric" into a box) I knew I recognized you. You're Weird Beard. Why are you Weird Beard?
Sonny: Why do you care?
Chad: I don't know. Let's give it a shot.
Sonny: Well, I sent myself a fan letter, pretended to be my own fan, and now I get to go out on stage and meet the fan I'm pretending to be.
Chad: Why would you write yourself a fan letter?
Sonny: Because I lost faith in myself.
Chad: Oh. Classic case of actor insecurity. You start doubting your abilities, wondering whether you were good enough and whether you deserve to be on TV.
Sonny: So you've been through this before?
Chad: No, no. No, but I made you think I had which is why I'll never go through it. Whew!
Sonny: Those are all for me!
Tawni: No! They're all for-Sonny?
Sonny: You've been hiding my fan mail.
Tawni: You're pretending to be your own fan?
Sonny: You committed mail fraud!
Tawni: You committed fan fraud!
Sonny: Fan fraud's not illegal!
Tawni: Mail fraud's not embarrassing!
Cheater girls
Tawni: Are you insulting me with geometry?
Three's Not Company
Chad: So I, uh, guess I'll be seeing you at my party tonight?
Sonny: Yeah. As much as I'd love to come bask in the glory of your Chadness, I can't make it.
Chad: So you were the no? You were the one person I invited who's not coming? Wow. I always knew this would happen to me someday. I just really expected it to come from a Tisdale or a Montana.
Fast Friends
Chad: Oh, we're very good friends.
Sonny: Actually, we can't stand each other.
Chad: And this is the kind of fun we get to have every day.
Sonny: Which apparently is starting today.
Chad: Isn't she adorable? That's why Sonny's my favorite member of So Random.
Sonny: Really?
Chad: Yes, really. Santiago you are lucky to be getting this interview this girl's going places. Speaking of which I got to go.
Santiago Heraldo: You've got some dog's to shove.
Chad: Shoving dogs towards bowls of food that I lovingly lay out for them. You know why I love puppies.
Sonny: (after Chad hands her a puppy) Oh, he's so cute!
Chad: Yeah, when I saw him I thought of you.
Sonny: That's a compliment, right?
Chad: Of course.
Sonny: Well, then tell Santiago. I want people to know me for who I am.
Chad: And I want people to know me for who I'm not. Look, I like you. And I'm sorry the rest of the world doesn't know the real you.
Sonny: It's your fault.
Chad: Is it, Sonny? Is it, really?
Sonny: Yes. It is. Really!
Sonny With a Chance of Dating
Chad: Sonny.
Sonny: Chad.
Chad: Anyway they're shooting our scene we should probably go.
Sonny: Oh, you're on Mackenzie Falls this week? Let me guess, stuck up Mackenzie being chased by bad boy bank robber.
Chad: Let me guess, Life of the Boston Tea Party.
Sonny: Well, at least my show brings joy to the viewers.
Chad: At least my show has viewers.
James Conroy: You know, for something you said was nothing, that sure seemed like something.
Sonny: Oh, well, you know, it's a day-to-day something. Sometimes hour-by-hour. I don't know, it's complicated. He's complicated.
Tawni: Where's your idiot friend?
Chad: Bart! (Bart comes out)
Tawni: Not that idiot. James. Yeah, the one who's going out with Sonny tonight.
Chad: I'm sorry, what?
Tawni: James, Sonny, date, tonight.
Chad: Date? Sonny? Tonight? James?
Tawni: So where is he?
Chad: Right now he's breaking into the first bank of MacKenzie Falls. (sirens go)
Tawni: What is your show even about?
Chad: Oh, this week's our Christmas episode. Yeah, in the end he realizes he had a wonderful life.
Tawni: Look, just tell James to back off of Sonny.
Chad: Why do you want him to back off Sonny?
Tawni: Why are you wearing a bib?
Chad: You jealous?
Tawni: I have my own bib!
Chad: Not of the bib, of Sonny! What...?
Tawni: No. I'm trying to protect her. Why do you want him to back off Sonny?
Chad: I... never said I did.
Tawni: Oh, your lips say I don't care, but your eyes say I do care!
Sonny: Do you really think I would kiss you?
Chad: Well, that's what I'm putting on my blog. (Rolls across cantine floor) Peace out suckas! Blahaa!
Sonny: Okay. (puts her head on Chad's shoulder) This is nice... in theory.
Chad: Yeah, we, uh ... make a good couple. Hypothetically.
Sonny and the Studio Brat
Tawni: [holding up magazine showing MacKenzie Falls cast in cool places] And who do you see there? And there, and there, and there! [flipping through magazine]
Grady: Chad Dylan Cooper, and the cast of MacKenzie Falls.
Nico: Yeah, she's right we need to be seen in cool places.
Tawni: Yes, that's why we're going to a place so cool, so exclusive, so underground, it doesn't even exist.
Grady: We're going to Narnia?
Later - The Basement - Tawni dancing.
Grady: [holding a sword] This isn't Narnia!
Chad: (Chad's voicemail) Hey you've reached Chad Dylan Cooper. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now, because if you were important enough, you'd have the number to my phone I answer!
Sonny: Let's go get some ice-cream
Dakota: (looks at Mackenzie falls poster) Mackenzie Falls shoots here. I had no idea. I love Chad Dylan Cooper!
Sonny: Yeah, so does Chad Dylan Cooper.
Chad: (scared) Oh Daddy?
Sonny: Daddy, there's your funny little punchline! Boy is he gonna be mad at you for yelling at his daughter!
Mr. Condor: Sonny, you brought my precious angel to a Hollywood club?
(Sonny and Chad start backing away)
Chad: Looks like he's mad at you.
Mr. Condor: Oh no, he's mad at you too!
Sonny: Actually Mr. Condor, it's a really funny story!
Chad: Trust me it's really not that funny.
Promises, Prom-misses
Sonny: Well, Chad, you were right. All proms end in disaster.
Chad: Do they Sonny? Do they really? Because sometimes, I heard, you get to have that perfect dance, with that one special person. [takes out headphones] You're just going to have to settle for me.
[Sonny smiles and takes a headphone]
[they start slow dancing]
Sonny: This is sweet.
Chad: I have my moments.
Sonny: You gonna press play?
Chad: Oh, right.
Chad: Oh hey Sonny.
Sonny: Sorry Chad, can't talk, I'm in a hurry.
Chad: Oh right, right that whole secret prom, (Sonny turns around) They're not that much of a secret when every kid on the lot is walking around with flyers that read 'Secret Prom!'
Sonny: Aren't you exited? I'm even exited about how exited I am!
Chad: Yeah, we're not really feeling that over at the Falls...mostly we just think it's dumb?
Sonny: Well, if you think it's so dumb, then maybe you and your little snobby friends at Mackenzie Falls shouldn't come.
Chad: Well maybe we won't.
Sonny: Good! 'Cause your officially uninvited.
Chad: Good 'Cause we officially wouldn't have come anyway.
Sonny: You're only saying that cause I just uninvited you.
Chad: You only uninvited me because I just said I didn't wanna come.
Sonny: Are we done here?
Chad: Oh we're beyond done.
Sonny: Good!
Chad: Good!
Sonny: Good!
Chad: Good!
Sonny: So we're good?
Chad: Oh we're so good.
Sonny: I can't believe I missed it! (bumps into Chad)
Chad: Whoa, watch it.
Sonny: Chad? Oh my gosh what happened? (refers to Chad's black eye)
Chad: Oh, I just got in a huge fight over at the Falls.
Sonny: (nods) They don't like you either?
Chad: Funny. No we were shooting a scene. I know it's hard to believe I can look this good when I look this bad huh? (Sonny looks down) Normally that would've charmed you. What's up with you?
Sonny: Nothing, I'm just a little bummed. I missed my prom back home and I just got some pictures from my best friend.
Chad: Oh pshht. You're not missing much! I've been to a bunch of proms and they have all ended in disaster.
Sonny: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
Chad: Yeah, episode 10, my hair caught on fire. Last year's season finale, my date turns out to be my long lost sister...
Sonny: What? Chad those are fake proms.
Chad: Fake proms, real proms they all stink.
Sonny: No they don't! They're romantic! You know a girl dreams her whole life about going to the prom and sharing that perfect dance with a very special guy.
Chad: And then he gets hit in the head by a faulty disco ball, episode 16!
Sonny: You know what Chad? you wouldn't know real romance if it punched you in the face. In fact you wouldn't know a real punch in the face if it punched you in the face, because there is nothing real about you.
Chad: Well here's something real for you, I really don't wanna stand here and talk to you.
Sonny: Good! Cause I really don't wanna stand here and talk to you!
Chad: Good!
Sonny: Good!
Chad: Good! (Sonny and Chad turn and walk different directions) (Chads phone rings) Hello?
Sonny: Good!
(Sonny walks in prop house)
Sonny: Good!
Chad: (on phone) Good.
Sonny: Good!
Chad: Good
Sonny: Good! and goodbye! (hangs up cell phone) Chad says hi!
Sonny: Chad? What are you doing here? You weren't invited.
Chad: Oh you see, I was invited, but I didn't wanna go, so then I got uninvited so now I had to go. (walks into prom)
Sonny: No no no no no no no. (blocks him) You're not going into my prom before I do
Marshall: Sweetheart, look, I have nothing against proms, but if I let you have a prom I have to give in to everybody.Nico gets his carnival, Grady gets his puppet show. We'll all be living in Tawnitown. Is that what you want? Do you want to be living in Tawni town?
Sonny: I... hear it's a heck of a town?
Sonny: Ok, I think we've said it enough times. (grins) We're having a secret prom!
Grady: Ah, how come you got to say it again?
Sonny: Because I wrote the book.
Tawni: I thought you checked out a book?
Grady: Oh, wait, I'm confused.
Sonny: (sighs) Ok, there's no book, but we're having a prom.
Nico: A secret prom though?
Sonny: Yes. Are we all on the same page?!
Grady: Whoa, wait. There's a page??
Sonny: (throws hands up in frustration) Really?!
The Heartbreak Kids
Chad: Then you and me are going to have to go to Lookout Mountain.
Sonny: I'm not going to lookout mountain with you. That's a date place.
Chad: Do you want them broken up?
Sonny: Yes.
Chad: Pick you up at eight. (winks at sonny)
Sonny: (smiles)
Sonny: How it this suppose to break up Bitterman and Marshal?
Chad: It's all in the script.
Sonny: What script?!
Chad: (takes out Makenzie falls script) Episode 319 of Mackenzie Falls! Bigfoot gets the girl, it's a classic!
Sonny: (takes script away from Chad) Oh my gosh..This is your plan? This isn't real; this is a show!
Chad: Sonny, sometimes life imitates art! Okay? And this piece of art happens to be about a couple who takes a drive up Lookout Mountain for a romantic evening...
Nico: Yeah, and then Bigfoot comes out the woods and scares them!
Chad: Yeah, and the guy gets so freaked out, he runs away.
Sonny: And that gets the girl to break up with him...
Chad: Exactly!
Sonny: Oh my gosh...THAT IS THE WORST PLAN I'VE EVER HEARD FROM THE WORST SHOW I'VE NEVER SEEN! (Chad looks insulted)
Chad: Well, here come the lovebirds, so unless you like the chewy tastes of worms...
Sonny: Nico, put your head back on!
Sonny: With this.(holds up a salt shaker)
Grady: A magic salt shaker?
Sonny: If anyone gets caught eat the instructions!Got any questions?(Grady raises his hand)Yes Grady?
Grady: What happens if I've already eaten lunch,I'm kinda full,do I still have to eat the instructions?
Sonny: Yes.
Grady: Well can you put the instructions on cake?
Sonny: No!
Grady: Cookies?
Sonny: No! NOW GO! GO! GO!
(Nico and Grady march out the room)
Sonny:(to Tawni) You wanna go get some cake?
Tawni: Ooh...and cookies.
Sonny: I can't just come between love.
Tawni: I don't want you to come between it,I want you to crush it!
Battle of the Network Stars
Selena: [Through megaphone] YOU TWO ARE...PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER! I'M OUT OF HERE!
Chad: Wait, wait! So you're leaving my movie?
Selena: Heh, I don't need this! I was in Camp Hiphop! [walks away]
Sonny: Okay, bye Selena! It was nice working with you! Awww, she seems nice. I should call her.
Chad: Why? You're gonna become BFFs with Selena Gomez?
Sonny: Pfft... It could happen! So... do you really think I have pretty hair?
Chad: I dunno... Do you really think I have sparkly eyes?
Sonny: I dunno... Well one of them is.
Chad: So...you wanna be in my movie? I kind of need a Sonny.
Sonny: Fine.
Chad: Fine.
Sonny: Good.
Chad: Good.
Sonny: Fine.
Chad: Fine. I’ll set you up an audition. Nine o’clock?
Sonny: Really, Chad? Really?
Chad: (into the megaphone, quickly) Fine. You got the part.
Sonny:Sorry it's just...this is the type of thing Chad does just to push my buttons.
Selena: (into tape recorder) Has buttons.
Chad: Oh Sonny, try to stop yourself from falling in love with me, I beg you!
Sonny: (rolls her eyes)
Selena: I'm just a small town girl with a big town dream, and meeting you was the biggest dream of all.
Sonny: Ok CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT!
Chad: Again! Really?
Selena: It's okay Chad. She's helping me out.
Sonny: Okay now Selena, remember your biggest dream is to be on So Random! Chad is just a monster who wakes you up! (glares at Chad)and remember that you hate him! You just really, really hate him! (Chad glares at sonny) Action. (walks off set)
Chad: Sonny-
Sonny: Oh and one more thing! He is the worst actor of our generation!
Chad: BART!(Bart comes out and gives Chad a megaphone) CUT! CUT! Stop the lying!
Sonny: You stop the lying!
Chad: You stop the lying!
Selena: STOP! STOP BEING- STOP, JUST STOP IT!
(Nico and Grady walk into the prophouse and find their lookalikes are gone.)
Nico: Hey, where'd we go? (Tawni walks in)
Tawni: I forgot something.
Grady: Wha--- (Tawni slaps him and walks out)
Nico: Oh, you're gonna need some ice for that.
Grady: What did I do?
Chad: [In Megaphone] Yes Take That Selena!
Sonny: [In Megaphone] In Your Face Gomez!
Tales From The Prop House
Sonny: (on phone) Chad can we talk this out like normal people? He said he's on his way back.
Chad: (bursts in on forklift)
Cast: (screams)&(Hides)
Chad: So what do you wanna discuss?
Sonny: Oh. It's a signed picture...of you.
Chad: look how its signed.
Sonny: 'To my biggest fan: I sorry T.V.'s Chad Dylan Cooper' Aww. I'm touched! That's so sweet Chad!
Sonny's In The Kitchen With Dinner
Chad: (pointing to a magazine with Sonny and Hayden kissing on the cover) Who is this guy?!
Tawni: The love of my life!
Chad: (voice high)THEN WHY IS SHE KISSING HIM?!
Tawni: I DON'T KNOW!
Sonny: I told you it was the kiss cam!
Nico: Sonny...
Sonny: IT WAS THE KISS CAM!
(Chad bursts into Sonny's apartment)
Chad: Freeze!
Tawni: Don't touch my purse!
Hayden: Chad Dylan Cooper! This is awesome. What are doing here?
Chad: I got a weird call from Sonny's cell. I heard screaming and crushing metal, so I cut my massage to an hour and rushed right over!
Chad: You mean (takes out tickets) these?
Sonny: Thanks Chad! (reaches for tickets)
Chad: Ah. (moves tickets out of Sonny's reach)Not so fast. I have these tickets because?
Sonny: (smiles) You're the star of Mackenzie Falls, the number one tween show.
Chad: Oh! That's worth one! (hands her one) (Sonny nods)
Sonny: and.. you have the best tasting sandwich in the whole cafeteria!
Chad: (fake gasps) Here's number two. (gives her the second ticket) You wanna go for three?
Sonny: Can't.
Chad: Oooh, say it!
Sonny: I won't. (Chad waves ticket is Sonny's face)
Chad: Say it.
Sonny: (muffled) You're..the greatest actor of our gener-ation....
Chad: (hands her the third ticket) Enjoy the game. (Sonny smiles at him)
Sonny In The Middle
Sonny: Oh, hey Chad.
Chad: When's the party starting?
Sonny: This is it.
Chad:(confused) These look like the people who usally WORK at Mackenzie Falls parties.
Sonny: (Bumps in the wall and the chair lights up) Yeah, it lights up! It's a cool seat.(rolls away on chair)
Guess Who's Coming To Guest Star
Chad: And finally after we kiss, you'll be hooked.
Sonny: After we what?!
Chad: Kiss, four little letters just like my name.
Sonny: And you're nuts! Four little letters, just like your name!
Chad: Now I know what you're doing; you don't wanna look me in the eyes.
Sonny: Pffft! What are you talking about?
Chad: Fine. Then take off the hat.
Sonny: Fine. (takes off hat to reveal a smaller hat)
Chad: You're wearing a hat under a hat? Phew! You had the dream, didn't you?
(Sonny's eyes widens) Yeah, it's OK. Tisdale wore 6 hats, but that didn't stop destiny.
Sonny: There is no destiny! There is no you and me! There is no- Wow. I never realized what a deep shade of blue your eyes are.
(both lean into kiss)
Sonny: (snapping out of it) Oh my gosh, what am I doing?!
Chad: Ah, getting lost in me eyes. Check! Now then all that's left is the kiss.
Sonny: (takes off hat) You know what?! I will not kiss you! Not in a million years! You and I don't kiss not now, not ever!
Marshal: (comes out of nowhere) You two are gonna kiss!
Sonny: Let's just get this sketch over with.
Chad: Alright, but after it happens, you know we're gonna be in love.
Sonny: We?
Chad: (stammering) Yo-you I said you.
Sonny: You said we.
Chad: OK fine, but we is my nickname for you! We happy?
Cookie Monster
Sonny: (holding back Zora) Chad, I can't believe you didn't even thank me for saving your life.
Chad: (holding back Dakota) Look, I will have you know, I was choking on purpose, okay? To get your silly little merit badge, it's called acting.
Sonny: Yeah and you're not that good of an actor.
Chad: Acting.
Sonny: Choking.
(Chad and Sonny put Dakota and Zora down)
Chad: Acting.
Sonny: Choking!
Chad: Oh really?! Someone better hold me back.
(Dakota holds Chad back while Zora holds Sonny back)
Sonny: Dakota Condor; She thinks that just cause her dad owns the studio that she can have anything she wants!
Dakota: Hey Monroe, gimme your muffin!
Sonny: Anything you want!
Dakota: Hi Chad! How about joining me for lunch?
Chad: Oh hi Dakota. Yeah I'd love to. Actually I'm due on set for rehearsal.
Dakota: Not if my daddy cancels your show.
Chad: (high voice) Oh what are we having?
Zora: Hi Chad. How would the greatest actor of this generation like to buy a box of cookies?
Chad: (takes out money) You had me at greatest actor of this generation.
Sonny: I once had a friend who was a little bloomer. She was only one merit badge shy of becoming a full grown blossom scout. [Starts having flash back]
Mrs. Mongergoure: Sonny Monroe, you will NEVER be a Blossom Scout!!! [Rips of Sonny's stouch. Sonny starts crying. Flashback ends and Sonny if still crying.]
Sonny: My friend never got to realize her dream.
Tawni: Im not really paying attention. And I can already tell this freind of your's is you.
Zora: Well would you or your friend like to buy a box of cookies?
Sonny: You know what put me down for a box
Zora: ONE STINKING BOX I'M TRYING TO BREAK THE COOKIE SELLING RECORD!
Zora: It's the only record I don't currently hold!
Tawni: (with make up all over her face) Why so SERIOUS?
Sonny: You know what the joker's right.
Sonny so far
(Chad, Sonny and Tawni all look towards screen) (shows a clip of Chad and Sonny)
Tawni: Whoa.
Sonny: Where did you get that?
Gilroy: Didn't know you were being filmed, huh? Apparently someone in Makenzie Falls doesn't like Sonny very much. So as we say on the show.....GOTCHA!
Sonny: What? You 'gotched' nothing, alright? That was totally taken out of context.
Gilroy: That's what I do! If I were to wait for things to be in context I would not have a show. Still, seems the two of you of a little something, something going on... care to comment?
Sonny: I can't believe Gilroy tried to do that to us!
Chad: Yeah, the guy's a jerk. I can't believe I read that book for nothing.
Sonny: You know, Tawni and I made a pact earlier that we wouldn't tell anyone secrets, and I think that we should probably do the same thing.
Chad: Okay fine, I didn't read the book! (Sonny looks at him) Wha-oh no, you were talking about the us, (Sonny nods) yeah, we don't have secrets!....Do we?
Sonny: Uh-I don't know, do we?
(Sonny and Chad on the monitor)
Sonny: I mean, what if it's something like us, liking each other...
Chad: Yeah, I mean don't really wanna talk about my feelings in front of a live studio audience.
Sonny: Yeah, yeah yeah right, I mean especially feelings we've never talked about before.
Chad: Yeah..you have feelings?
Sonny: yeah,Do you have feelings?
Chad: I-I mean since you're really asking...it's just two of us....
Sonny: Right! I mean this time there's no cameras or anything.
Chad: Yeah, I really...I just....
Sonny: No, listen. It's what I'm here for. (Chad smiles at her) You go first!
Chad: No you go first.
Sonny: No you g- ok same time.
Chad: Yeah.
Sonny: One... two...
Chad: I was gonna say that yeah, um, 2 and a half?
(Tanwi grabs the remote and turns off camera)
Walk A Mile In My Pants
Sonny: Hey Chad. Did you hear about my Walk-a-Thon for books?
Chad: Oh yes, we did. And I have to say Sonny, you are very inspiring,thats why I love you sonny.
Sonny: Well, we have so much. It's important that we give back.
Chad: (laughs) Aah, I meant you inspired me to have a Walk-a-Thon against your Walk-a-Thon.
Sonny: (Pauses to look at the flyer Chad handed to her) A Walk-a-thon against books? How could you be against books Chad ?
Chad: That's easy. The more you read, the less you watch MacKenzie Falls.
Sonny: That's your cause Chad, To get people to watch more TV? your are such a jerk.
Chad: Are you not listening? It's to get them to read less. I'll see you at the Walk-a-Thon to read less books. (turns and turns back around) I've got something to tell you Sonny. We're gonna raise more money than you.
Sonny: For what?
Chad: Not buy books.
Sonny: That makes no sense.
Chad: Aah. Guess all that reading you're doing isn't making you any smarter now, is it? See ya.
Chad: We're gonna look hotter than you at the Walk-a-Thon.
Sonny: (laughs) Giving back is whats hot!
Chad: That's what people who don't look hot say.
Chad: Sonny! Sonny, come here! I need to tell you something, in case I don't make it.
Sonny: Okay.
Chad: I love...
Sonny: Yes?
Chad: I mean I deeply love..
Sonny: Go on!
Chad: ...that more kids are reading less books because of Chad Dylan Cooper!
Sonny: (lets go of Chad's hand and touches his forehead) Oh no! I think you're coming down with P.F.S. too!
Chad: What's that!?
Sonny: (picks up pillow) Pillow in the Face Syndrome! (hits Chad with pillow)
Doctor: Ms. Monroe!
Sonny: Yeah, just fluffing Doc! (throws pillow at Chad and walks over to the doctor)
Chad: Give it to me straight, doctor! I can take it.
Doctor: You have L.B.S.
Chad: (gasps) Leaving Boy Syndrome?!
Doctor: No. Lack of Book Syndrome! Also known as Lazy Butt Syndrome! lbs is also the abbreviation of pounds, (starts poking Chad), which is what you are going to gain if you don't stop watching yourself on T.V.
Chad: Can't you just cut my pants off? You know how you do?
Doctor: Read two books, then call me in the morning, Mr. Cooper. (hands Chad a perscription)
Chad: (Looks at perscription) Actually it's Dylan Cooper.
Doctor: Not anymore, I removed your Dylan while you were under.
Chad: NO! What did you do to it?!
Doctor: I gave it to someone who wouldn't waste it! (Opens curtains to reveal Grady)
Doctor: Good afternoon, Mr. Grady Dylan Mitchell.
Grady: I got my Dylan. I've been waiting for 2 years!
Chad: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (cries) WHY?!
(Chad wakes up)
Chad: I must have fallen asleep reading. Stupid books. That was horrible! (closes book)
Sonny: We have to make this work.The only way we can get Tawni to walk with us,is if we wear her jeans,because her fans will see her on TV,us wearing her jeans,sell her more jeans,raise more money for books,and less money for no books, and everyone wins except Chad!
Nico: We're gonna need a butt-horn for the butt-horn,'cause this baby ain't coming out.
Sonny:(to Tawni) About the butt-horn, you might want to re-think the placement of your face.
Tawni: I'd rather crawl hot then walk ugly.
Sonny Get Your Goat
Tawni: I don't know why you're packing, you're not going anywhere until you apologize!
Sonny: I don't know why you're packing because I'm not apologizing!
Tawni: Of course you're apologizing it's your thing, you apologize. It's the circle of life (Pretends to draw a circle in the air) cir-cle!
Sonny: And here's what I think about you (Makes hand motion) cir-cle (Pretends to grab circle)
Tawni: (Gasp) What are you doing to my circle?!
Sonny: I'm ripping it! (Pretends to rip circle)
Tawni: Give me that! (They start fighting for the circle)
Sonny: Got it! (Tawni cries)
Sonny: Let Tawni have her fancy european adventure,let her be mobbed by adoring fans,let her be wooed by gorgeous boy with accents...
Marshal: Pushed you out,didn't she?
Sonny: Yeah.
Gassie Passes
Sonny: (to Gassie) You know, I used to have a dog just like you in Wisconsin. Yeah, except he was a beagle with three legs and one eye. We called him Lucky! Or... or Limpy. Or Blindy. But, you know, it didn't matter what we called him because he was deaf too!
Sonny: I didn't come here to argue I came here to give Gassie some dog time. Beneath the trees and on grass...
Chad: Except the grass is plastic and the trees are cardboard(through the bull-horn)THIS IS A SET.
Sonny: Good then what Gassie is doing to that bush over there wont kill it.
(looking at the Gassie & We movie poster)
Tawni: Why is Gassie's head bigger then mine?
Sonny: Well, I'm not sure that it is.
(lunch-box lets out a farting sound)
Sonny: Gross! you want people to buy that and then put food in it?
Zora: Gross sells sister.
Dakota: You have have very nice blue eyes.
Grady: Why thank you.
Dakota: It'd be a shame if you lost one of them!
Grady: Yeah it would.
Dakota: Now hand me to the Matador!(Grady hands her to Nico)
Nico: Hola?
Chad: You just found out your boyfriend's a vampire,you're scared,you're confused,you have two holes in your neck what do you do? AND ACTION!
Sonny with a Song
Chad: "Bangs and Fangs" we all get awesome hair and get bitten by vampires.
Nico: Is your show written by monkeys?
Chad: Chad Dylan Cooper fears nothing.
Sonny: Spiders.
Chad: Not the little ones.
Sonny: Heights.
Chad: Not the little ones.
To be continued....
P.S.
Sorry if there are any mistakes.The things I wrote were the quotes I remembered. Feel free to correct the mistakes in the comment section and feel free to add some of your fav. SWAC quotes.
