I know that sounds really strange to say but the truth is that when it comes to the general TVD public, the relationship/connection between Stefan Salvatore and Elena Gilbert is highly misunderstood. I know a lot of people are going to think I'm silly and stupid for what I am about to say in my article but it is just my personal opinions and beliefs on the matter. Most people within this fandom don't understand their relationship and connection so that is why many people within the fandom feel the incessant need to bash and hate on their relationship. Now, most people would try to argue this and simply say, "Oh, it's just that I can't stand Stefan", or "Stefan and Elena don't have any sexual chemistry" or "Stefan and Elena are boring", etc, the list goes on. But what I don't think people realize is that when they say such statements such as what I have just listed, what they are really saying in translation is that "I simply don't understand or comprehend the concept of Stefan and Elena's relationship." And there are many reasons why most people within the general TVD viewing public don't understand their relationship. I think many people think Stefan and Elena have one of those everyday, simple, dating, life-time companion type of romances or connection and the truth is, they are wrong. Stefan and Elena is not the typical romance or the everyday "hearts and flowers" relationship. Sure, on the show especially, their relationship may involve those things. It may involve flowers, dates, romantic getaways, wine, Stefan cooking for his precious Elena, etc. But what most people don't understand is that Stefan and Elena, primarily on the show, are basically trying to live as much of a normal human life as possible, even though their connection is not for that purpose at all. Stefan and Elena's love and relationship has nothing to do with just romance.
Stefan and Elena's relationship is highly meaningful and has a grand purpose. Stefan/Elena didn't just "meet" to play house together and raise a few kids (which is impossible since Stefan can't procreate to begin with). No, that is for regular "human love" or human relationships. Stefan/Elena's love is not human love. And it has nothing to do with the fact that Stefan is a vampire and Elena is a human. No. Stefan/Elena's love/relationship is an extremely rare kind of love/connection. It's not a type of connection that occurs on a daily basis or happens alot on this earth. This is part of the reason why I believe that Stefan and Elena's relationship is so highly misunderstood and misinterpreted. Stefan/Elena's relationship is NOT a mental, physical, or even emotional connection; IT IS A SOUL/SPIRITUAL CONNECTION. Stefan/Elena's love is strictly from the soul and the soul only. They are literally ONE SOUL. They are two separate individuals with the same soul essence, except one half is male/yang (Stefan) and the other half is female/yin (Elena). They are literally each other's half. Most people would refer to this as a Soul Mate or a Twin Soul/Twin Flame. The TVD book readers might have a much better understanding of Stefan/Elena's connection than that of the TVD show readers. Most people think that Damon/Elena are "Twin Flames" because they have supposed "intense" chemistry. But again, I cannot stress enough that true Twin Flame relationships/connections have NOTHING to do with intense sexual chemistry, passion or desire and they also have nothing to do with intense lust or fiery chemistry between two people. Although TF's do have an intense, magnetic, fiery and passionate love for each other, the sole purpose of a Twin Flame/Twin Soul relationship is NOT about selfish purposes such as being physically attracted to someone or wanting/desiring/obsessing over someone because they remind you of someone else or because they are extremely hot/attractive/good-looking. A Twin Soul relationship is not about surface factors such as physical apperance or sexual desire/passion/lust. Those are "HUMAN LOVE" CONNECTIONS. Most people on Earth live these kinds of love relationships and have these types of connections with people. And because of this fact, most people simply cannot understand, whether it be in the real world or even in fiction, how two individuals who are complete and total strangers and don't know each other or know anything about each other whatsoever, could deeply, intensely and passionately love each other so much to the point where they can't live without one another. Most people simply do not and cannot understand or comprehend these kinds of connections hence why you have so many people questioning it and or bashing/undermining such relationships and connections. This is why most people ship Delena within the TVD fandom. Because when you look at the whole picture, Delena's connection embodies the typical earthly/"human love". Their connection embodies all of the qualities that most humans feel on earth; feelings such as sexual attraction, excess lust and desire, pure physical attraction, obsession/obsessive feelings, abusive and controlling love relationships, etc. All selfish qualities in which most people on earth experience on a daily basis. Most people do not or have never experienced "love at first sight", or deep love which is unconditional and selfless. Mot people don't understand this type of love, relationship or connection.
So, the reason why Stefan/Elena's relationship receives so much criticism from the TVD fandom is because most people don't believe in 'love at first sight". Hell, there are quite a few people who don't believe in the concept of Soul Mates. And for those who don't believe in such a thing to begin with, it would be hard for them to understand a relationship like Stefan/Elena's. Like I said earlier, Stefan/Elena's love is not just any kind of love, it is not a typical kind of love. Stefan and Elena were brought together for a significant reason and purpose. Most people meet each other and they feel an nice easy going connection to one another. This is NOT Stefan/Elena's connection. Stefan/Elena's connection is significantly much more passionate, intense and indescribable to be a "soulmate" relationship. For those who have read the TVD novel series, you would understand Stefan/Elena's connection since the very first book. When Stefan arrives at the school and Elena sees him for the first time, Elena feels an immediate, intense and indescribable connection to him. This is not just a regular human feeling such as a crush or an infatuation. What Elena felt at that moment when she laid her eyes on Stefan for the very first time was not a physical attraction or even a sexual attraction. IT WAS A SOUL RECOGNITION. Elena's soul was recognizing Stefan's soul. A soulmate connection is when you meet someone and everything is all nice and easy going and you bond and become friends. This is NOT S/E's connection. Elena and Stefan basically loved each other since the first time they met and encountered each other. This, to the general public, is strange and unusual because most people don't understand how people can fall in love with someone that quickly. So most people refer to these kinds of connections and relationships as too rushed or moving too fast.
Stefan/Elena's connection is basically like two halves of a whole coming back together after FOREVER of being apart. It is literally like a big homecoming. It's a feeling of completeness and wholeness. It's like two people coming back as one after being separated for all of eternity. It could be compared to that of two life long companions/lovers/best friends who have known each other since the very beginning of time and they are finally reuniting after being apart and separated for so long. This type of connection is extremely intense and overwhelming and it is also extremely life changing. If you look at similar relationships and pairings to Stefan/Elena who have had this same type of connection; pairings such as Romeo/Juliet, Marc Antony/Cleopatra, Edward/Bella or even Angel/Buffy, all of these are "love at first sight" connections and for the most part, these types of connections are extremely rare and do not occur often on this earth. So Stefan/Elena loved each other at first sight because their connection is a soul/spiritual connection. And because of this, Stefan/Elena "awakened" each other. They triggered each other's individual spiritual journeys and because of this rare special connection in which Stefan and Elena have with one another, many inner struggles, issues and deeply buried pains and hurts in which both Stefan and Elena have kept secluded within themselves for their whole lives, has been finally brought up to the surface to be healed. The reason for this is because Soul Mates/Twin Souls are each other's mirror. When you meet you ultimate Soul Mate, EVERYTHING HIDDEN COMES UP TO THE SURFACE TO BE HEALED. Nothing is hidden between one another. In both the books and on the show, Stefan being a vampire couldn't be hidden. Stefan was keeping this deep dark secret both in the books and on the show, but because Elena is Stefan's mirror, this forced him to reveal who he was and also to come to accept who he is. Because if Stefan didn't accept who he was, then he really couldn't love Elena with all of his best self and being. Basically, Elena and Stefan's relationship is not only about humanity but it is also about spiritual healing between themselves. Stefan and Elena basically "healed" each other and because they did this, their relationship progressed to amazing levels. Stefan/Elena grew together and are still continuing to grow together. No matter what obstacles stand in their way, they face it and they overcome it together and they overcome these obstacles fast. This is the primary concept of Soul Mate relationships. Take Stefan's HB issue on the show. Stefan was struggling with human blood and having an addiction with it due to not touching human blood for a long while. Stefan tried to keep it from Elena, but he couldn't and it eventually came up to the surface for Elena to see. And what happened when Elena found out about Stefan's human blood issue? They solved it together, and not only that they solved it without that much trouble as well. This goes to show you that any particular problem, obstacle or issue that Stefan/Elena face, whether it be both in the books or on the show, they are able to overcome it at abnormally fast levels. This is because between Twin Souls, they don't prolong conflict. They resolve things quickly and they move forward. Whereas most regular and earthly relationships which have many issues and problems take forever to overcome, Twin Soul connections (such as S/E's) overcome them extremely fast and with ease. However, just because they overcome these issues quickly does not mean that Stefan and Elena aren't going to argue or fight. Because Stefan/Elena are one soul and feel everything the other is feeling, there is also quite a bit of chaos and their relationship is rather tumultuous at times. Stefan and Elena's relationship both in the books is not as easy going and smooth sailing as you think. Stefan and Elena have a lot of many different issues and obstacles which repeatedly try to stand in their way of being together, but most of these issues have nothing to do with Stefan/Elena's relationship, the relationship itself. If Stefan and Elena have issues, it mostly has to do with individual or personal struggles or outside forces and obstacles (for example, Damon, Katherine, Klaus, Doppleganger Curse on Elena, family issues, etc). Most of S/E's problems have nothing to do with THEIR RELATIONSHIP. Yes, S/E have disagreements. Yes, they don't always agree on everything. But for the most part, whatever issues comes between S/E and their relationship, THEY SOLVE IT AND THEY OVERCOME IT TOGETHER. Because that is just the kind of connection that Stefan and Elena have with each other.
When it all comes right down to it, Stefan/Elena's relationship for the most part, both in the books and on the show is NOT ABOUT THEM. Their relationship is about OTHERS. It's about helping others, protecting others, looking out for humanity. Like I have said before, Stefan and Elena'a relationship is for HUMANITY. This is exact same way that Clark/Lois's relationship is for humanity and for the goodness of mankind. Like Clois, Stelena's relationship has a grand and significant purpose. It is not just a regular connection between two people where they are all about simply living happily ever after and playing house together forever (although, that is highly in the cards for both Stefan and Elena together, although it may not be as easy as they want it to be). Stefan and Elena were brought together by destiny or some unknown force; it was fate for them to meet and serve a grand purpose together, to begin a spiritual journey together and embark on a special, unique mission together. A part of me strongly believes that part of the reason why Stefan/Elena were brought together in the unexpected and "special" way that they were has to do with Damon's spiritual journey and redemption. If you have read the novels, you would know that Damon's redemption arc and spiritual evolvement and growth into finding his humanity and "healing" himself from his extremely dark, sinister past, is a huge storyline for the TVD novels. Hell, there was a whole trilogy dedicated to Damon's spiritual journey/redemption. It is my strong belief that Stefan/Elena were brought together in the books (also in the show), not only so they can reunite in divine, unconditional love, but to help heal Damon on his spiritual journey and redemption. Part of Stefan/Elena's mission together as a pairing/couple in this series is to assist Damon and to help him; to ultimately help heal him so that he can find redemption from his past. Because it is only this way that Damon in the books (and also on the show but I am talking about the books right now) is going to find his way back to the light and also, find love, joy and happiness for himself. This is why I believe that S/E's relationship is so highly powerful and incredibly purposeful, deep and meaningful, because their connection/relationship/love for each other has and is having a huge impact on many different characters in this series, both on the show and in the books, especially DAMON. I think that out of everyone, the one individual who is most influenced by Stefan/Elena's love is Damon. The reason why Damon is starting to evolve and change has absolutely nothing to do with his "own selfish" love/obsession with Elena. it has to do with Stefan/Elena's selfless and unconditional acceptance and love with each other. And deep down, Damon DESIRES that, he deeply and strongly wants that. But the problem is, he believes in his own mind that this person is with his brother's beloved (Elena), hence why it has become beyond an unhealthy obsession for Damon (this goes for the books and the show but especially the show).
Many viewers of the TV show (and maybe even some TVD novel readers) seem to simply believe that Stefan/Elena's relationship is about simply getting together and having absolutely everything be blissful, happy and easy going. No, that is NOT the case. Even though Stefan/Elena's find so much bliss, happiness and joy when they are with each other or even in each other's presence, they also experience the most extreme pain, heartache and chaos because of them being with each other. Stefan/Elena's relationship for the most part is and has been rather chaotic and tumultuous both on the show and in the books. Their relationship has not been one easy going and smooth ride. Anyone who tries to label Stefan and Elena as boring together simply and clearly do not understand Stefan and Elena's relationship. And you want to know why? Because they are simply ignorant. They only care about Damon/Elena and the "connection" in which they have. The reason why most people within this fandom ship Delena is because they probably find it significantly more "relatable." It may sound odd, but on the whole, Damon and Elena's connection is much more relatable and understandable to the general TVD public then Stefan and Elena's connection. This is because most people endure a similar kind of connection to D/E's; a connection which involves extreme sexual lust, desire and attraction or falling for someone because they directly remind you of someone else that you used to love, or developing a deep infatuation and obsession with someone simply because they are are someone whom you can't have. I think a lot of people ship and relate to Delena because it's that notion of "build up" between two people. And most people believe that real, true love is gradual and happens overtime. Most people on this earth don't believe that two people or two individuals can fall deeply in love with each other after they first meet and feel like they know each other inside and out. So most people ship what they can relate to. This is often why epic love stories such as Romeo/Juliet, Mar Anthony/Cleopatra or even Jack/Rose (Titanic), are so incredibly misinterpreted and misunderstood because for the most part, even though people love and admire epic love stories and romances, THEY CAN'T IN ANY WAY RELATE TO THEM. This is why Stelena never gets as much love as Delena, because in my opinion, most TVD viewers simply cannot understand or relate to Stefan/Elena's relationship/connection. And there's no point in trying to get these people to understand it because in order for one or people to understand it, they have to have a pretty open-minded view of love and what real, true love is about. The fact of the matter is, Stefan/Elena's love is not a typical "human love". Matt/Elena, both in the books and on the show, is a typical human love connection. Even Jeremy/Bonnie is a "human love" relationship; it's easy going connection. Even though Bonnie is a Witch on the show (and in the books), which makes her a supernatural being, and Jeremy is a regular human, J/B's relationship is a typical, easygoing human love connection; it is nothing 'rare" or even "special". Take Book Bonnie for example. If you look at the relationship/connection that she has to Matt, it's easygoing, it's platonic, it's a nice, smooth relationship. But if you look at Bonnie's connection with Damon, it is completely and entirely different then her connection with Matt. Bonnie's connection with Damon, I find, is incredibly intense, magnetic, unusual, indescribable and incredibly unique and different. When I read Book Damon and Bonnie, I don't feel like I am a reading a typical "human love" relationship/connection. And no, it has nothing to do with the fact that both Damon and Bonnie are supernatural beings (Damon being a vampire and Bonnie being a psychic witch). It's just their connection and what defines it; it is highly unique and different. But anyways, this article is not about Bamon, so I will save my opinions on Bamon for the Damon & Bonnie spot.
I guess what I am ultimately trying to say is that most people don't and probably will never understand Stefan and Elena's relationship and the fact that it is not the everyday typical kind of connection in which two people have with each other. It is not and never has been a typical, dating romance but then again, most people don't understand S/E's relationship hence why I feel that their relationship for the most part is highly misunderstood. It sucks that because S/E's relationship is so misunderstood by the general TVD public, that it receives so much hatred/criticism and bashing but I guess it is what it is and part of it has to do with ignorance. I know that everyone within the fandom has their personal opinions and their preferences when it comes to shipping and supporting fictional couples, but a little more open-mindedness and understanding from the TVD fandom as a whole, especially in regards to the concept and true purpose of Stelena's relationship, would clearly sufficed. Unfortunately, I have my strong and indefinite doubts that this will ever happen and that pure and clear understanding on the part of the TVD fandom will ever come from them in regards to Stelena's relationship but me, as one fan of this series, has absolutely no influence or ability to change anyone's mind. I can only voice my personal opinion and let my voice be heard, but I can't, in any way, change the opinions and thoughts of people's ideas and beliefs on what real, true love is and means. The fact of the matter is as a TVD fandom, we all have differing opinions and views on what real and true love is and that is never going to change. For me personally, I am an individual who does strongly believe in the concept of Soul Mates/Twin Flames/Twin Souls and "love at first sight" connections because truthfully, this was just how I was raised. I know it may sound like I'm brainwashed, but I am not. I just have my own opinions, beliefs and views on things and to be honest, I am not really expecting people to think like me or think similar to the way I think, although I do know plenty of people out there who do share my views and beliefs regarding this matter. The truth is, love is love, but there are different kinds of love. And the main point of me writing this article and incorporating the relationship of Stefan Salvatore and Elena Gilbert into my argument is to basically let people see and possibly get them to understand that not every love relationship requires or has the dynamic of a "build-up". The reason for this is because not every love story is strictly a mental and physical one, but that there are some love stories which are strictly soul/spiritual in nature. Like I have said before, these types of love relationships/romances and connections are extremely rare and they do not occur often. Most people fall in love gradually and over a period of time and this is what is considered to be "normal" to most people living on this planet. Because this is what most people have experienced in terms of love relationships and connections. Most people on this earth don't come together for humanity or for spirituality or divine love. Most people come together on this earth for marriage, raising babies/children and growing old together. I am going to use an example from Stefan and Elena's relationship in regards to this example that I just mentioned about living a typical human life. Stefan/Elena, both on the show and in the books, love each other so much, but as you can see on the show's case, Elena recently told Stefan in 2.20 "The Last Day", that she wanted a normal regular life with family and friends and a husband. She wanted to think about building a career, developing a regular human love relationship with someone, starting and planning marriage and having a family/children and growing old with her companion/husband, watching her children grow up, etc. These were all ultimate goals for Elena as a human. But because she deeply and passionately loves Stefan so much and knows about his identity and the fact that he is a vampire, Elena knows that because of her deep love for Stefan, she might have to give it all up. All of her dreams that she had for a regular human girl. This is why Stefan/Elena are somewhat "star-crossed" because even though they love each other so much, something is going to keep them apart in some way. Stefan and Elena can get married but they can't have children together because Stefan can't procreate. So this is the basic point I am trying to make. Stefan/Elena's love has nothing to do with coming together to live the simply, human life and have a simple human love relationship (even though they do live this life and try to live this life as much as possible when they are together). Again, Stefan and Elena's love/connection is STRICTLY for humanity and spiritual work. Stefan/Elena have awakened each other and became alive again because of each other. It is a completely selfless and unconditional love and not only is it a selfless, unconditional love, it is also an ETERNAL LOVE. Stefan/Elena's love is FOREVER. Their bond is forever, their destinies are linked together for all of eternity.
This is what L..J Smith implies in her books and novel series when she talks about and refers to 'The Soul Mate Principle." L.J. Smith, the own author of TVD, has been implementing the concept of Soul Mates since she first began writing her books, because the concept of Soul Mates/Twin Flames/Twin Souls is ancient. I think most people who watch the CW show and also, those who read the TVD novel series are seriously misinterpreting the true meaning of L.J. Smith's "Soul Mate Principle' concept. When L.J. Smith talks about Soul Mates in her books, she is really talking about the Twin Flame/Twin Soul connection. I know this, because I know a lot about the subject of Twin Flames/Twin Souls. And in L.J. Smith's novel series, not just TVD, but also series such as Night World and Secret Circle, what indicates that someone is your Twin Soul/Twin Flame or more commonly used term today, Soul Mate, is the silver cord connection from heart to heart between two individuals when they are in their spiritual selves due to an OBE (out of body experience). As all of you Stelena fans who have read the books already know, Stefan and Elena are eternally connected to each other soul to soul by a long, silver cord the colour of moonlight. This basically suggests that the two people who share the silver cord connection are born for each other and are fated/destined to be together, no matter what. They are literally two halves of a whole, ONE SOUL. As L.J. Smith described it, she said it basically indicates that the two people are meant to fit together like two puzzle pieces perfectly. This means that this person is your ULTIMATE SOULMATE and that no other person or individual on the earth would ever replace this person with whom one shares the silver cord connection with. So, in Stelena's case, Elena could easily embark on a relationship with Damon, but regardless, she will always be eternally connected to Stefan, because that is her ultimate Soul Mate. NOBODY will replace him and nobody will take his place. Elena cannot live without Stefan and Stefan cannot live without Elena, because they are eternally bonded/connected for all of eternity by the Cord Of Fate/Destiny. So, don't believe any Delena fan out there who tries to tell you that Delena are Twin Flames because the truth is,THEY ARE NOT; FAR FROM IT. Twin Soul/Flame love is the most ultimate/divine love that anyone can feel on this earth and like I have repeatedly said before, it is an extremely rare connection. So, believe me when I say, as someone who knows a lot about the concept of TF's and Soul Mates, S/E is a Twin Flame/Twin Soul dynamic.
Again, to end my article, I would just like to say that Stefan/Elena's love and relationship will always be incredibly epic and beautiful to me as a TVD fan. I would go on about Stefan/Elena's relationship and why I understand it so incredibly well, but then this article would turn into a novel or I may just begin to look like a rambling idiot. Stefan/Elena's connection will always be special to me and it will always be deemed highly significant and meaningful and incredibly deep by me. And for the most part, Stefan/Elena's relationship is a highly selfless relationship on all levels since it is not about them. IT IS ABOUT OTHERS. And that is only part of the major reason why Stefan/Elena's relationship is so amazing and epic. ♥