I decided to post this article so that I can just clear something up that has been literally bothering me for quite some time. I have seen many Delena fans going around on all of the social sites, and forums and they have managed to label their ship "Twin Flames". Now, I admit, every time I see such a thing, I really get annoyed because it couldn't be farther from the truth. And also, many Delena fans like to call Stelena just "soulmates". Well, I'm here to tell you that it's not as simple as it sounds in regards to Stelena. And Stelena are not just "soulmates". In fact, Stefan and Elena are much bigger then just ordinary soulmate connection. I think this is where many Delena fans have failed to do any research when it comes to the concept of Soulmates but then again, I'm not surprised considering that there is much ignorance on the behalf of the Delena fan base to begin with. I know a lot about the concept of soulmates and soul connections so I would just like to clear up the meanings and how it all applies to Stelena. Again, I know there are some people who may read this article and not believe anything that I'm about to say but nevertheless, I do have my beliefs as does everyone else and I would love if those who come across this article would be at least a little bit open-minded. There are those who do believe in soulmates and those who don't believe in soulmates and again, regardless of what you believe, I would just like to express my beliefs and opinions on this subject throughout this article. Let me just start by differentiating a regular soulmate connection from Twin Soul/Twin Flame connections.
So, let's start by defining what exactly soulmates are. Soulmates are individuals who come into your life to teach you a lesson of some sorts. They come into your life to help you evolve and grow on a personal level. They are there to assist you in your personal growth and they are life teachers to you. Now, anyone can be a soulmate. Soulmates are mostly family, friends, husband/wife, co-workers, acquaintances, pets, even enemies can be soulmates. There are also many different kind of soulmate connections as well. For example, there are Karmic Soulmates, which are a type of soulmate connection that involves the balancing of karma between two people. Most Karmic Soulmates come together to either learn something from each other, or teach each other something important, a life lesson. Normally, Karmic Soulmates are very highly tumultuous in nature and they are also rather intense. With Karmic Soulmates, you will find that there is a huge intense attraction and because of this, most people often mistake Karmic Soulmates for their Twin Soul/Twin Flame. Because there is so much intensity and passion between Karmic Soulmates, people often make the frequent mistake of mistaking a Karmic Soulmate for a Twin Soul. A person can have many Karmic Soulmates in their lifetime or in every incarnation. Normally the dynamics of Karmic Soulmates are normally hot/cold, on/off, love/hate type of relationships and they are normally highly chaotic and unpredictable in nature. Anyone can be a Karmic Soulmate, but more often then not, many Karmic Soulmates tend to be romantic partners or lovers. These people come into your life in order to help you learn a valuable life lesson that you may not have learned in your previous life or incarnation and they come to you in this lifetime to help you learn the lesson. Once the two individuals within the Karmic Soulmate relationship have learned from each other or have taught each other the important and crucial lessons in which they need to learn in this lifetime, then the two individuals can go their separate ways and move on. However, with that being said, Karmic Soulmate connections tend to be rather obsessive in nature and it's rather hard to let go of these kinds of connections, especially when you haven't learned all you need to learn from this particular person. But once you have learned all you need to learn from a Karmic Soulmate, you feel ready to move on and move forward and put the relationship behind you. Karmic Soulmates serve the purpose of learning valuable life lessons and balancing karma and most of the time, these types of soulmate connections are the most chaotic, painful and stressful. Most people who have been in Karmic Soulmate relationships have said how being in a relationship or being involved with a Karmic Soulmate is draining. So if one says that they were emotionally drained from being involved with a particular person, that person was a Karmic Soulmate. Again, Karmic Soulmates are the most difficult relationships that most people within a lifetime can experience. Then there are Kindred Soulmates. Kindred Soulmates are normally friends and companions, especially best friends or people with whom you share a nice, easy going bond with. They are there for you, they have a bond with you and they comfort you in times of need. Most of the time, Kindred Soulmates are NOT romantic in nature, and they can be of the opposite sex. This means that two Kindred Soulmates could be two guys, two girls or a girl and a guy. Again, these are the kinds of soul connections where you share a deep emotional bond with one another, you share some things in common and you understand each other on a deep emotional level. These are the nice, smooth, easy going connections that we have with other people in our lives and they are normally the people that we love and cherish the most. There's Companion Soulmates, which is a type of soulmate that is mostly romantic in nature. Normally Companion Soulmates are the ones you see on a daily basis. They are the "substitute" for those who don't find their Twin Soul in this particular lifetime. Companion Soulmates normally come together and they slowly bond and fall in love with each other. Companion Soulmates normally come together for marriage or to bear children, since more then half the time, people don't marry their Twin Flame or even have children with their TF, since that is not the main purpose of a Twin Flame relationship. But nevertheless, the Companion Soulmate is normally the person that we "settle down" with for marriage and children.
Now, onto the most ultimate soulmate connection, the Twin Flame or Twin Soul connection. First, I would like to say that the term Twin Flame is the ancient term used for this kind of connection. The modern terminology used today for Twin Flame is either Twin Soul or Soul Mate. Today, we normally don't use the term Twin Flame in New Age. We use the term Soul Mate. Now, what is a Twin Flame/Twin Soul/Soul Mate? A Twin Flame or Twin Soul is the other half of your soul. Twin Flames/Twin Souls have the exact same vibration and the same soul frequency as you. Twin Flames come together to serve some sort of mission that is highly important. Twin Souls also come together and have to come back together in order to balance the male and female energies, the Yin and Yang. The concept of Twin Flames and Twin Souls is that at the beginning of time, a soul was created and split into two and one half was put into one body and another half was put into the other body, normally of the opposite sex. So, in other words, Twin Souls are best described to be "two halves of a whole", if that makes any sense. The mission for Twin Flames is to incarnate through many life times and to try to find each other and reunite in sacred and divine love and also to serve a purpose or serve their mission together during that particular life time. Each and every one of us has only ONE Twin Flame/Twin Soul. We can have many soul mates, but we only have one Twin Soul. Twin Soul connections are highly intense, deep and electrifying and they are the most life changing and also the most profound type of soulmate connection. When a Twin Soul comes into your life, you feel an instant attraction to this person and you don't know why you're so drawn to this person. You recognize this person right from the moment you meet them and time just seems to stop when you two meet for the first time. This is when the two individuals souls are recognizing each other after forever of being apart or separated. Once a person meets a Twin Soul, your life is never the same again. You become awakened spiritually. Twin Souls "awaken" each other and bring each other back to life. Most Twin Souls have said that before reuniting with their Twin Soul, they have mentioned that they have felt sad, lonely or empty and felt that they were "missing something". Also, most Twin Souls have mentioned that before they meet their Twin Soul, they can sense that they are about to reunite. Some Twin Souls have said that they have felt nervous, scared, anxious before meeting their Twin Soul. Twin Souls are effortless connections and they require little to no work. You feel each other, you sense each other, you understand each other at significantly deeper levels than that of a regular soulmate. Twin Souls normally experience a pure, unconditional, selfless and divine kind of love, which most people often mistake for being sappy or cheesy. The love that is shared between Twin Souls is the most sacred, divine and pure love that any two people on Earth can experience. But here's the deal. Although many Twin Flames/Souls share such a deep love and a deep connection with each other, there aren't always going to be happy times ahead for Twin Soul pairings. In fact, many Twin Soul pairings face many obstacles that try to stand in the way of them being together or staying together and there are many obstacles that await them in this lifetime. One of the missions for Twin Souls is to test the love that they have for one another and to also try to overcome the obstacles that wait them in a particular lifetime. Many Twin Soul/Twin Flame pairings tend to be labelled "starcrossed lovers" because many Twin Flame pairings struggle to stay together due to many outside forces that try to keep them apart. Even though Twin Souls are destined to be together throughout all of eternity in lifetime after lifetime, Twin Souls can still embark on other relationships even if they have found each other. In fact, many Twin Souls tend to separate frequently in order to explore other relationships. Most of the time, Twin Flames do this, because they may still need to learn more life lessons from other people, other soulmates, so that they can reunite and come back together again after learning the lessons that they need to learn from the other relationships in which the Twin Souls have embarked on. Again, the purpose of Twin Souls/Twin Flames is to serve humanity somehow. It's to help serve others, help others together and serve the purpose of assisting humanity/mankind as a unit. This is the main purpose and mission of Twin Souls/Twin Flames. Now, Twin Flames are very rare. Most people on Earth do not meet their Twin Soul in this lifetime. However, there are also some people who meet their Twin Soul and they are NOT ready. When this happens, they separate and go embark on other relationships. Some people have met their Twin Soul and don't even know it, because they are not spiritually evolved enough to recognize the connection. They need to spiritually evolve and grow more in order to be able to recognize the connection. Also, it should be noted that Twin Flames don't just come together for strictly romance. They come together for the sake of others and for the sake of humanity. They come together for some kind of spiritual work, or service to others. Although, with that being said, most Twin Souls/Twin Flames do engage in romantic love relationship, even though that is not their main and primary purpose for coming together. Twin Flames/Twin Souls are mirror images of each other, meaning that when you look at the other person, you see yourself. They are the perfect and exact mirror image of you. Therefore, everything that you have struggled with, personal issues and problems will come right up to the surface to be healed. Now a Twin Soul doesn't necessarily heal you, they just assist you on the lessons that you need to learn in this lifetime. Personal assistance and healing is for soulmate connections. Twin Souls grow together as they overcome many obstacles set out for them in a particular lifetime. Twin Flame love is the most unconditional, selfless love. You love this person without condition. There's no manipulation, there's no game playing and you can openly communicate with one another. Twin Flame/Twin Soul connections are the ONLY type of Soulmate connection that involves the silver cord connection. Twin Flames are eternally connected from soul to soul with a silvery/blue cord. This cord can NEVER be severed and it can never break either. Not even the Twin Souls themselves can break this special eternal cord between them. It is this special silver cord that connects one to their Twin Soul/Twin Flame. Through this cord, you feel each other, you sense each other and it draws you together, regardless of space, time and distance. Twin Souls can be in other relationships and no matter what, they will still feel that tug, that indescribable pull and yearning in their heart/soul toward and for their Twin Soul. The Twin Soul is the only one to make one "complete" because they are the other half of one's soul.
Now that I have defined the difference between regular soulmate connections and Twin Flame/Twin Soul connections, I would like to incorporate the relationship/dynamic of Stefan/Elena into all of this. Like I said earlier, Stefan/Elena are nor just a soulmate connection. Their relationship is much too intense, passionate and electrifying for it to be a basic soulmate connection. If you have read the books, you can recall Elena, when she first encountered Stefan, feeling a strong, overwhelming, indescribable, magnetic connection to Stefan when she first laid eyes on him. THIS IS WHAT ONE EXPERIENCES WHEN THEY HAVE MET THEIR TWIN FLAME/TWIN SOUL. It is basically two halves of one soul coming back together after forever of being separated and being apart. When you first meet your Twin Soul, you feel it, this instant, indescribable connection instantly via your soul. This is what Stefan/Elena felt when they first met each other, both in the books and on the show. What happened during that moment was Elena's soul was instantly recognizing Stefan's soul. Like I said, this is a highly intense and overwhelming experience and it is euphoric. When Elena met Stefan, she experienced 'euphoria'. In the books, she was in a trance like state, the experience of meeting Stefan was so intense, powerful and overwhelming for her. Same with Stefan. Also, on the show, when Elena first bumped into Stefan, she felt a shockwave go through her when she first laid eyes on him. This was Elena's essence recognizing Stefan's essence. It was indescribable to her and she couldn't understand it hence why Elena was tongue tied because she was so overwhelmed during that moment. Now in that moment when Elena and Stefan met each other in the Pilot, Stefan didn't seem as overwhelmed as Elena was. The reason for this is because Stefan had already met and known Elena 4 months earlier and had already "recognized" the connection between Elena and himself when he unexpectedly and inevitably saved Elena from the car accident. But nevertheless, Stefan and Elena recognized each other and felt a deep and strong connection and pull towards each other when they first met in the Pilot episode. In the books, after Elena had met Stefan, she started going through a lot of drastic and tumultuous changes over a period of time. Her eating habits changed, her sleeping patterns changed, everything became more magnified including her emotions. This happened with Elena on the show as well. Basically what was happening to Elena in the books when she was going through all these ups and downs after meeting Stefan was basically her soul trying to adjust to the shock of meeting Stefan, her Twin Soul. And Stefan, who had endured much pain in his dark past in the books (and also the show, but I'm strictly talking about the novels right now), due to meeting Elena, his Twin Soul, all of the deeply buried issues, pain and struggles that he had been dealing with for over 5 centuries came rushing to the surface almost instantly. This is because Stefan and Elena are each other's other half, each other's mirror. They came together to mirror to each other their hidden self, "their shadow self". Although Elena was eager to be with Stefan, Stefan on the other hand, tried to ignore her as much as possible. The reason for this is because aside from the overwhelming, intense and electrifying connection that he feels with Elena, Elena also happens to be the spitting image of his first love which caused him a lot of pain centuries ago, Katherine. This made the separation between Stefan and Elena in the books much worse. And because of this, this caused Stefan to become a runner. Normally in Twin Soul relationships or connections, there is always a 'stayer' and a 'runner'. In this case, Elena was the stayer and Stefan was the runner. In the books, Stefan ran away from Elena because of the overwhelming connection that he felt to Elena. Elena was the stayer because she desperately wanted to be with Stefan and tried to do everything in her power to be with him. Normally the runners in these kinds of connections choose to run from the connection, because they are simply not ready for this kind of connection or relationship. They need some time to sort out a few issues within themselves and it basically implies that their soul is not ready for the intensity of this kind of connection. The reason why Stefan in the books chose to ignore Elena and run from her is because he had a lot of deeply buried problems, issues and struggles within himself and in the beginning, because of who he is (which is a vampire who hates himself), he felt totally unloved and unworthy. Stefan never believed that he was worthy of Elena in the beginning so he ran from her because his soul was not ready to become one with Elena's soul. Elena, on the other hand was desperate to reunite with her male half (Stefan), but Stefan wasn't ready to reunite with his female half (Elena) because the time wasn't right for him yet. This is why in the first book, The Awakening, Stefan and Elena experienced an on/off, tug/pull dynamic between them. They wanted to be together but something was always stopping them. This mostly had to do with Stefan and Elena's personal issues within themselves and also, many other obstacles and outside forces trying to come between them as well (i.e. Damon).
In Shadow Souls, Elena had an out of body experience and she saw the silver cord connecting her soul to Stefan's soul. This is the "Soulmate Principle" that L.J. Smith refers to and uses in her many series. The SoulMate Principle really means a Twin Soul/Twin Flame. The person whom you are connected to by a silver cord is your destined lover. The two individuals souls (which are connected by the silver cord of fate), were born and created together at the beginning of time and the two individuals who share the silver cord connection were born for each other and destined for each other. THIS IS LITERALLY THE OTHER HALF OF YOURSELF AND YOUR ONE TRUE BELOVED. Again, let me make this clear: STEFAN AND ELENA'S SOULS ARE CONNECTED BY A SILVER CORD, INDICATING THAT THESE TWO ARE ETERNALLY CONNECTED IN LIFETIME AFTER LIFETIMES, NO MATTER WHAT WHAT HAPPENS. So basically, what I am trying to say is that Stefan/Elena are a Twin Flame/Twin Soul dynamic. The idea that there are people out there who are trying to call Delena Twin Flames is beyond insulting and preposterous, especially as someone who does know a lot about the subject in the first place. This is why I laugh my ass off at those who call Delena Twin Flames, because the honest truth is THEY ARE NOT. Now, just for the record, Twin Souls can meet each other and still love other people other then each other. After all, the purpose of Twin Souls is not to possess or control each other, since they love and respect each other unconditionally as it is. Sometimes the love that Twin Soul pairings share is so overwhelming that most of the time, the Twin Souls feel the need to share this love that they have developed within them due to the relationship with their Twin Souls. This is because when Twin Souls meet and love each other, there is so much love within the both of them, that most of the time, many Twin Souls feel that need to share the love that they have developed inside of themselves with other people who need love. This, to me, describes what is happening in the case of the Elena/Stefan/Damon triangle. It is not that Elena, both in the books and in the show, will ever love Damon more then she loves Stefan, because that is impossible due to the kind of connection that Stefan/Elena have in the first place. It is about Elena feeling the need to give some of the love that she has developed inside of herself due to her overwhelming and unconditional love that she has for Stefan, in order to help "heal" Damon. Because Damon has been so unloved for his entire existence, Elena, being the empathetic individual that she is, especially on the show, feels the need to try to save Damon by trying to love him. Elena knows deep down within her heart and soul, both in the books and in the show, that she will always unconditionally and eternally love Stefan no matter what, but she feels like she has to save Damon by giving him love and affection. Most Stelena shippers see it as cheating, as have I, but I completely understand her intentions at the same time. Basically, in both the books and the show, Elena feels sorry for Damon. She feels pity for him and she feels that by giving him love, that it's going to help save him and heal him. But the fact of the matter is, Elena is always going to love Stefan more then Damon, because Stefan and Elena share the ultimate connection between two individuals and it is a highly rare connection in which most people on this Earth don't experience. Also, a part of me feels like in regards to Elena, she feels so secure in her love for Stefan and that because they have this deep, unconditional, eternal love for each other, that loving someone else, or loving more then one person is okay. This is the notion that we have gotten from this series that it is possible to love two people at the same time. However, with that being said, they are two different types of love. The love that Elena has for Stefan in both the novels and the show, is a rare kind of love. It is an unconditional love. Elena loves Stefan unconditionally and selflessly and their love is forever, it's eternal, no matter what happens. On the other hand, Elena's love for Damon is more about compassion and empathy, it is not a soul connection, but it is an emotional connection or attachment that Elena has with Damon. It is more of a "human love" that she has for Damon. The love that Elena and Stefan is not typical "human love". Their love is out of the ordinary, although Elena and Stefan still try to live as normal of a human life as possible. Even though their connection and relationship is not for that purpose. Stefan/Elena's relationship is basically about others, it's about humanity. If you notice both in the books and in the show, their relationship is not selfish, it's not about just them. It's about helping others, looking out for others, looking out for mankind/humanity and being of service for others. This includes helping Damon on his spiritual journey and evolvement into finding himself and finding his humanity. Stefan/Elena came together for a significant reason and purpose and although that sounds cheesy, this is just the truth. Stefan/Elena's relationship is highly deep, meaningful and purposeful and it is an unselfish connection. Most human love is about simply getting, not giving. Well, Stefan/Elena's relationship is simply about giving. Stefan/Elena give to each other unconditionally. And not only that, they give to OTHERS. This is the main purpose of their relationship in the first place.
So again, I just thought I would write an article clearing up this issue with Stefan/Elena and the "soulmate" issue. I know that there are many people out there who will try to debate my argument, but again, like I said, I know a lot about the concept of soulmates and therefore, I understand the different types of soulmate connections. But I thought writing this article about the true meaning of Stefan/Elena's relationship would clear up a lot of confusion and also, reveal the facts regarding Stefan/Elena's relationship. Thank you for reading.