They died. Just like that. Right then and there on the jagged rocks and sticky, dew-covered grass, steps from the shallow edge of the lake. They must have passed when I was attempting to swim us to safety. The air is cold and the wind is worse, the bugs flying around the town's lightpoles make for an even unpleasant drowning, adding cold ice in our lungs and chest, coughing up water and blood. But you can't choose where you die. You can't choose who dies. The world keeps turning and lives keep going on, anyway.
---
Rebecca's mother had just given birth to her newest little sibling, a baby girl, Charlie. We were driving from the hospital with Rebecca's five-year-old sister, Amity, in the carseat in the back, sleeping like a rock until I accidentally hit a pothole or two. Rebecca was excited. She had feared of being an only child, but the birth of Amity ceased those fears.
Rebecca has brown hair so dark it's almost black as night, skin ghostly pale and pure. Eyes midnight blue and as haunting as a ghost story you hear in the dark of your bedroom over a dull flashlight. Amity has only regular brown hair with green and blue eyes mixed into one shade. We think Charlie's going to be a blonde, but since eye color is unpredictable in the Chima family, her eyes will remain undiscovered until the day she fully opens them. Their parents, Jocelyn and Joel, have different hair and eye colors. The dark eyes come from Joel, the hair from Jocelyn.
Amity was singing along in the backseat, sleepily. The quiet lullaby of a tired child. Even Rebecca herself attempts to keep herself awake enough to remain excited about fresh little Charlie. Jocelyn's third pregnancy came as a shock to everyone, including me---they only planned for two children, but they obviously don't object to a larger family. Jocelyn gave birth at one o'clock tonight, and the drive from the hospital to Rebecca and Amity's home is a real motherfucker, so it's essential to keep my eyes locked on the road ahead. But not for too long. I'll also be sleeping. Jocelyn and Joel both stayed in the rental cabin that belonged to Jocelyn's father during the later stages of the pregnancy, so Rebecca cared for Amity at home alone.
Of course, I was over there a lot. Rebecca wasn't totally alone, but she also didn't have guests and random visitors like she did when Jocelyn and Joel still lived with them. I can't help but wonder if they'll either return to the house or decide to move Rebecca and Amity in with them at the cabin. Rebecca and I have been rather close confidants since our earlier days. I still am an only child, but Rebecca, at the time of having no little Amity hanging around her, didn't seem to mind having a boy for a buddy. After all, I was someone who could keep her company, and I still do. But we're only friends. We wouldn't want to destroy our friendship with secret desires, would we?
Rebecca looks over at me, eyelids barely open. It's a wonder she can see me at all. "I think I left the keys to the house locked on the inside." she says, becoming irritated. "Don't worry, you and Amity can bunk with me for the night. You're both too tired to be hunting down extra keys." Rebecca says something I can't understand. Just then, before dozing off, Rebecca leans her head back and asks, "You alright back there, Amity?"
No answer. She must be sleeping.
"Go to sleep. Now," I urge her. She doesn't have any trouble with agreeing. "Aren't your legs cold?" I whisper so quietly she can't even hear me through her veil of darkness. Rebecca's in a flimsy white nightgown and flats that she wears to church on Sunday mornings. No time to get dressed. Amity's in her pink pajamas with cartoons of a little Asian girl and co. printed all over them, her dark hair mostly in loose buns on the sides of her head, but now are mainly hanging at her temples after the wind has battered the hairstyle. We're going around a curve, rather quickly, too, because I don't want everyone suffering from cramped necks in the morning, and I lose control. I swerve, brutally waking both Rebecca and Amity. "What are you doing? Let me drive, you're gonna fall asleep at the wheel!" Rebecca rages at me.
Amity rubs her tired eyes. "No, I'm fine! Go back to sleep and everything's gonna be---" a deer stands in the middle of the road. I swerve sharply to miss the deer, but end up going over the side of the bridge that covers the lake. In an instant, we're screaming and are in the air. Fucking deer, why don't you stand in the middle of the goddamn road! We hit the murky, dark, and deep water with a booming crash. Water like waves engulf the car and swallow us whole.
We begin our sink to the bottom, and since we're in the shallower parts of the lake, we should only be in about seven or eight feet of water. Still terribly deep, but better than the twenty and later forty feet on out. Water immediately fills the car. Everyone is strapped in their seatbelts, Amity is trapped in her carseat. We thrash and beat to desperately escape, but it's too late. The water is already above our heads and little Amity is beginning to get too quiet for comfort.
We hit the bottom, darkness all around. Water fills my lungs as I pull at my belt. Rebecca sits still in her seat.
Motionless.
Amity's barely holding on, and it's all I can do after I free myself to yank Amity out of her carseat. Holding a frail, screaming Amity in my arms, her face paling and thrashes becoming less and less violent, I nudge Rebecca sharply. I hit her. Amity sees this and sobs. Her eyes flicker open and I begin to unbuckle her. She takes in more water, as do I and Amity. She motions for me to take Amity up, to come for her later. I risk screaming at her that I must save them both at the same time, more dirty water pooling inside of me. I agree, but the door won't budge. I bust out a window, darker water pours in.
Rebecca's eyes roll back in her head. "Rebecca! Damn you, stay with me!" I yell. Rebecca is still alert and breathlessly urges me to take Amity away. I look at Amity in my arms, a shard of glass has torn through her side. Small, but with the water, fatal. Blood collides with water. I swim to the surface.
When we break through the surface of the water, the sudden chill of the freezing air making me wheeze, I pull myself and Amity onto the side of the lake. "Amity . . . listen to me . . . are you . . . okay?" I gasp, coughing up water. "Save Becca!" she shouts through tears. I can't bear to leave Amity alone and freezing in the quiet with an underwater battle for survival going on, but I'd be helping her more by saving her sister.
I plunge into the water, a sudden sinister power pulling me down to Rebecca's possible watery grave. My lungs hurt. My arms bleeding. My breath hasn't even returned. I reach the car and retrieve a limp and numb Rebecca. Even after we break the water surface, Rebecca could practically float. I fear the worst, but I refuse to believe she's dead, I put her in the grass and hit her back so hard, water drains out from between her lips. Her back is bloody, too. A shard has pierced the place where her spine is close to. Pulling the thin glass out of Rebecca's skin, my fingers bloodying, she still isn't moving, and the blood flows fresh. I turn to check on Amity, who has, of course, removed the piece in her side.
Amity is limp on the ground. Her side bleeding and she is freezing, she gasps for air and wheezes. "Becca . . ." her words fade. "Yes, Becca's here." She gives me a weak smile. I kiss her forehead and gently lay her back down. I take off my soaked jacket and toss it into the water. I remove the rest of my wet clothes, including my underwear. But maybe I should've kept those on. Amity is dead. Still, no heartbeat, no pulse. Nothing. What was once a bright and beautiful five-year-old is now a cold corpse. Unable to look at the shell of Amity, I let the water comsume her body. She sinks down to her final resting place in the depths and darkness of the lake.
I beat Rebecca's back. But she, too, is without a heartbeat. "No!" I scream. Did I have to lose two people in one night? Rebecca is also dead to the world, and my mind wanders back into the water. Amity's still floating. Like a water angel, cursed and blessed. Rebecca, no longer living, I also toss into the lake. There, let death have their bodies, too! Why didn't I die? Should I have died in the place of Rebecca and Amity? I don' know, I don't really want to know. I lie back numbly on the grass, letting my pupils enlarge and my heart and lungs struggle to work properly again. I close my eyes, but this is not a dream or nightmare. It's worse: it is reality. And that, I hope you know, is the worst place you'll ever be.
---
Rebecca's mother had just given birth to her newest little sibling, a baby girl, Charlie. We were driving from the hospital with Rebecca's five-year-old sister, Amity, in the carseat in the back, sleeping like a rock until I accidentally hit a pothole or two. Rebecca was excited. She had feared of being an only child, but the birth of Amity ceased those fears.
Rebecca has brown hair so dark it's almost black as night, skin ghostly pale and pure. Eyes midnight blue and as haunting as a ghost story you hear in the dark of your bedroom over a dull flashlight. Amity has only regular brown hair with green and blue eyes mixed into one shade. We think Charlie's going to be a blonde, but since eye color is unpredictable in the Chima family, her eyes will remain undiscovered until the day she fully opens them. Their parents, Jocelyn and Joel, have different hair and eye colors. The dark eyes come from Joel, the hair from Jocelyn.
Amity was singing along in the backseat, sleepily. The quiet lullaby of a tired child. Even Rebecca herself attempts to keep herself awake enough to remain excited about fresh little Charlie. Jocelyn's third pregnancy came as a shock to everyone, including me---they only planned for two children, but they obviously don't object to a larger family. Jocelyn gave birth at one o'clock tonight, and the drive from the hospital to Rebecca and Amity's home is a real motherfucker, so it's essential to keep my eyes locked on the road ahead. But not for too long. I'll also be sleeping. Jocelyn and Joel both stayed in the rental cabin that belonged to Jocelyn's father during the later stages of the pregnancy, so Rebecca cared for Amity at home alone.
Of course, I was over there a lot. Rebecca wasn't totally alone, but she also didn't have guests and random visitors like she did when Jocelyn and Joel still lived with them. I can't help but wonder if they'll either return to the house or decide to move Rebecca and Amity in with them at the cabin. Rebecca and I have been rather close confidants since our earlier days. I still am an only child, but Rebecca, at the time of having no little Amity hanging around her, didn't seem to mind having a boy for a buddy. After all, I was someone who could keep her company, and I still do. But we're only friends. We wouldn't want to destroy our friendship with secret desires, would we?
Rebecca looks over at me, eyelids barely open. It's a wonder she can see me at all. "I think I left the keys to the house locked on the inside." she says, becoming irritated. "Don't worry, you and Amity can bunk with me for the night. You're both too tired to be hunting down extra keys." Rebecca says something I can't understand. Just then, before dozing off, Rebecca leans her head back and asks, "You alright back there, Amity?"
No answer. She must be sleeping.
"Go to sleep. Now," I urge her. She doesn't have any trouble with agreeing. "Aren't your legs cold?" I whisper so quietly she can't even hear me through her veil of darkness. Rebecca's in a flimsy white nightgown and flats that she wears to church on Sunday mornings. No time to get dressed. Amity's in her pink pajamas with cartoons of a little Asian girl and co. printed all over them, her dark hair mostly in loose buns on the sides of her head, but now are mainly hanging at her temples after the wind has battered the hairstyle. We're going around a curve, rather quickly, too, because I don't want everyone suffering from cramped necks in the morning, and I lose control. I swerve, brutally waking both Rebecca and Amity. "What are you doing? Let me drive, you're gonna fall asleep at the wheel!" Rebecca rages at me.
Amity rubs her tired eyes. "No, I'm fine! Go back to sleep and everything's gonna be---" a deer stands in the middle of the road. I swerve sharply to miss the deer, but end up going over the side of the bridge that covers the lake. In an instant, we're screaming and are in the air. Fucking deer, why don't you stand in the middle of the goddamn road! We hit the murky, dark, and deep water with a booming crash. Water like waves engulf the car and swallow us whole.
We begin our sink to the bottom, and since we're in the shallower parts of the lake, we should only be in about seven or eight feet of water. Still terribly deep, but better than the twenty and later forty feet on out. Water immediately fills the car. Everyone is strapped in their seatbelts, Amity is trapped in her carseat. We thrash and beat to desperately escape, but it's too late. The water is already above our heads and little Amity is beginning to get too quiet for comfort.
We hit the bottom, darkness all around. Water fills my lungs as I pull at my belt. Rebecca sits still in her seat.
Motionless.
Amity's barely holding on, and it's all I can do after I free myself to yank Amity out of her carseat. Holding a frail, screaming Amity in my arms, her face paling and thrashes becoming less and less violent, I nudge Rebecca sharply. I hit her. Amity sees this and sobs. Her eyes flicker open and I begin to unbuckle her. She takes in more water, as do I and Amity. She motions for me to take Amity up, to come for her later. I risk screaming at her that I must save them both at the same time, more dirty water pooling inside of me. I agree, but the door won't budge. I bust out a window, darker water pours in.
Rebecca's eyes roll back in her head. "Rebecca! Damn you, stay with me!" I yell. Rebecca is still alert and breathlessly urges me to take Amity away. I look at Amity in my arms, a shard of glass has torn through her side. Small, but with the water, fatal. Blood collides with water. I swim to the surface.
When we break through the surface of the water, the sudden chill of the freezing air making me wheeze, I pull myself and Amity onto the side of the lake. "Amity . . . listen to me . . . are you . . . okay?" I gasp, coughing up water. "Save Becca!" she shouts through tears. I can't bear to leave Amity alone and freezing in the quiet with an underwater battle for survival going on, but I'd be helping her more by saving her sister.
I plunge into the water, a sudden sinister power pulling me down to Rebecca's possible watery grave. My lungs hurt. My arms bleeding. My breath hasn't even returned. I reach the car and retrieve a limp and numb Rebecca. Even after we break the water surface, Rebecca could practically float. I fear the worst, but I refuse to believe she's dead, I put her in the grass and hit her back so hard, water drains out from between her lips. Her back is bloody, too. A shard has pierced the place where her spine is close to. Pulling the thin glass out of Rebecca's skin, my fingers bloodying, she still isn't moving, and the blood flows fresh. I turn to check on Amity, who has, of course, removed the piece in her side.
Amity is limp on the ground. Her side bleeding and she is freezing, she gasps for air and wheezes. "Becca . . ." her words fade. "Yes, Becca's here." She gives me a weak smile. I kiss her forehead and gently lay her back down. I take off my soaked jacket and toss it into the water. I remove the rest of my wet clothes, including my underwear. But maybe I should've kept those on. Amity is dead. Still, no heartbeat, no pulse. Nothing. What was once a bright and beautiful five-year-old is now a cold corpse. Unable to look at the shell of Amity, I let the water comsume her body. She sinks down to her final resting place in the depths and darkness of the lake.
I beat Rebecca's back. But she, too, is without a heartbeat. "No!" I scream. Did I have to lose two people in one night? Rebecca is also dead to the world, and my mind wanders back into the water. Amity's still floating. Like a water angel, cursed and blessed. Rebecca, no longer living, I also toss into the lake. There, let death have their bodies, too! Why didn't I die? Should I have died in the place of Rebecca and Amity? I don' know, I don't really want to know. I lie back numbly on the grass, letting my pupils enlarge and my heart and lungs struggle to work properly again. I close my eyes, but this is not a dream or nightmare. It's worse: it is reality. And that, I hope you know, is the worst place you'll ever be.
