posted by lucysmileyface
1. The correct response to bitch! is always jerk!.
2. Say no chick flick moments when you want to avoid mushy conversation.
3. If you're in a car accident, don't worry about those embarrassing open-back hospital clothes, because if you're incredibly attractive (like Dean) they just give you nice tight white shirts and blue trousers.
4. Every house should own a huge salt cellar.
5. Always keep a paper clip at hand just in case you happen to need one.
6. Pay close attention to your Latin lessons.
7. Never leave your little bro alone...he could wander off, get lost, and kidnapped by a demon.
8. Bow hunting is an important skill.
9. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole.
10. Never mess with Dean's car!
11. When you watch a horror movie, pay attention. When someone tells you a place is haunted, don't go in!
12. Don't try to con a con-man.
13. Always come up with a ridiculous code phrase in case someone ties you up and makes you talk on the phone.
14. If you're nervous on a plane, choose some soothing music to calm you down..like Metallica.
15. Don't ever EVER try Purple Nurples.
16. Always wear charms and Egyptian amulets.
17. Use rock star names as fake ones.
18. Draw a key of Salomon on the ceiling of your bedroom.
19. Use coordinates, signs in your journal (don't forget to write like freakin' Yoda).
20. Check your shampoo for Nair on a regular basis.
21. DO believe in unicorns.
22. Always remove your Christmas decorations right after New Year, or you just might get filleted by a hooker from God.
23. Know a little about a lot of things, just enough to make you dangerous.
24. If you happen to become a Bikini Inspector don't worry, no one will notice.
25. When in doubt, serve all of your beverages laced with holy water.
26. What's dead should stay dead(except a Winchester).
27. Never accept church heirlooms as gifts...especially if you're having moral issues with everyone.
28. When a ghost is hitch-hiking, don't pick her up.
29. Never get involved in a prank war with a Winchester.
30. Prey everyday.
31. Don't be a smart ass and you'll get an extra cookie.
32. The older brother is always right.
33. Always have something made of iron close by, followed by salt and silver bullets.
34. The best way to see ghosts is via camera with night vision.
35. All scarecrows are fugly.
36. Justin Timberlake is quite the triple threat.
37. Don’t be friends with the Snuggle bear or you’ll be hunted down.
38. When aliens abduct you ask them to dance. They like dancing.
39. You did not invent lying to the cops. Bobby did.
40. Apple pie is freakin' worth it.
41. Dean always throws scissors.
42. Radios never get their signals messed up just because they feel like it..so stop tapping them and go do some demon hunting!
43. If you ever get into trouble just remember: WWBD - What Would Buffy Do?.
44. Never EVER say Bloody Mary into the mirror three times.
45. Never reach down a drain for something shiny, you might get eaten by an alligator.
46. Don't think about murderous spirits when looking at Tibetan Spirit Sigils.
47. Flickering lights are very rarely actually caused by a short in the wiring. Grab the salt!
48. Credit card fraud is hard work.
49. Making deals with demons isn't as easy as pie.
50. Don't fall asleep in the car with Dean or you might wake up with a plastic spoon in your mouth.
51. Coffee makes everything better.
52. Never believe teenagers about details like the color of some chick's hair..cos they always tell different stories.
53. If your house is haunted make sure you know where your toddler is at all times or it might end up in the fridge.
54. If you see an ugly painting at a charity auction, don't buy it..especially if it contains a razor.
55. Never use a magic fingers massage bed when there is someone else in the room.
56. Never admit that you watch Oprah in front of your younger brother.
57. Clowns are evil.
58. If you are going to watch porn make sure your brother isn't going to come back early and walk in on you.
59. 9 times out of 10 your brother DIDN'T do it, even if it happens to be on camera or the news.
60. Everyone has a handy dandy hidden weapon compartment in their trunk.
61. Mullets are the thinking caps of nudist geniuses.
62. Sam and Dean aren't working for the mandroid.
63. If you're possessed, never go to Bobby's place and do not accept a beer if he offers.
64. If you are going to make a deal with the devil, make sure you brush your teeth and use mouthwash before going to the crossroads.
65. EMF readers can be made from a busted up walkman (it's homemade).
66. Never follow the stream of blood, where do you think it leads?!
67. If you ever see the word croatoan carved into a tree, ready the explosives and watch out for crazy nurses!
68. Never joke about digging up Johnny Ramone's grave, heathen!
69. When searching a freezer for human hearts, always remember to check behind the Haagen-Dazs.
70. If placed upside down, a Spongebob place mat can make a perfectly acceptable altar cloth in a pinch.
71. Don't annoy priests daughters you never know what's avenging their anger.
72. Don't leave your little brother alone in a motel room to play video games..you don't know who may come through the window.
73. If your going to kill bees, you have to use an aresol can with a lighter to get them extra crispy.
74. If your going to live in a dream world you might as well have your girlfriend be the model for your favorite beer.
75. If you have exactly six months old child, never leave it out of your sight or in the future it may turn in to something evil.
76. '67 was Impala's best year.
77. Correct spelling and pretty/readable handwriting is irrelevant.
78. School House Rock is better than school.
79. Never go to prison without having an inside man.
80. If you ever become a parent and your child says it has a friend that you can't see, call Sam and Dean!
81. If something sounds to good to be true, it probably is.
82. Bad things are about to go down if you run out of pretzels.
83. The older brother always gets to stay with the hot girls.
84. MySpace isn't porn.
85. The REO Speedwagon guy sings from the hair, not the heart.
86. If you are a Winchester and you get a nasty cut on your face, don't worry your face will heal up just as pretty as before within' a day.
87. If your going to electrocute a raw head make sure not to stand in the water puddle.
88. According to Dean, chicks dig artists.
89. You don't break a curse, you get out of its way.
90. Special Federal Agents appear at the worst times.
91. Even someone with no soul can bang Lindsay Lohan.
92. You don't have to wait long for a smirk from Dean or a pout from Sammy.
93. Sooner or later your gonna have to face up to who you really are.
94. Never trust a little old lady in the secluded house in the woods and a tasty-looking pie on the window seal or you will end up sick to your stomach and then dead.
95. If there are any two random FBI agents then, by default, they are called Mulder and Scully.
96. Rabbits always get screwed in the deal...too bad because they're really cute.
97. Gay love can pierce the veil of death and save the day.
98. Rabbit's foot - not lucky for the rabbit....worse for you.
99. A moon bounce is epic.
100. No matter what happens it's ok, they were possessed.
101. When supposedly inanimate objects start operating of their own accord, run like hell!
102. Never ever EVER leave your clothes out on the table while you're in the shower, where Dean can get to them...you never know when he has itching powder.
103. Sam and Dean are both very good with...shaking sheets.
104. Being sacrificed is classier than being killed.
105. Donuts are not love.
106. According to Dean, a greasy pork sandwich served up in a dirty ashtray is a good hangover remedy.
107. Really pretty sure is a more standard response than sure.
108. Stay inside the magic circle!
109. When unsure if old lady is faking, poke her with a stick.
110. Demons we get, people are crazy!
111. Life is meaningless..ask any alcoholo-porno addict giant stuffed teddy bear.
112. There are prophets named Chucked too.
113. Even if you are in the middle of Basic Instinct, you can still bang Sharon Stone.
114. Ghosts can get creative too.
115. P.E. teachers are hot in red shorts (only if they're Dean).
116. Dodge is the greatest games ever invented. A game of skill, agility, cunning, a game with one simple rule.
117. You ain't been had, till you been had by the Chief.
118. You can't tail a magician..even if he's 60.
119. When you're in bed, getting ready to sleep, check under it...you don't wanna be molested by Casper the pervy ghost.
120. If you're having a house with three bedrooms, two baths and one homicide for sale don't worry..the place is going to sell like hotcakes.
121. Even humans can cut themselves a slice of angel food cake.
122. If you have an angel and a demon, riding in the back seat, you're set for a Penthouse Forum letter.
123. Angels are God’s little Power Rangers.
124. You can often confuse reality with porn.
125. If you're a demon and you can't touch a panic room, you can always write your congressman.
126. Even if you were in hell, tortured, carved and sliced, when you'll come back you'll look fantastic.
127. A little-known translation of the Book of Revelations has jack-o-lanterns in it.
128. Demon whisperers are sometimes reliable.
129. Teddy bears can catch lollipop disease.
130. You don't want some giant, flaming, pissed-off teddy on your hands.
131. If Bigfoot breaks into a liquor store jonesing for some hooch like Amaretto and Irish Cream, he's definitely a girl-drink drunk.
132. Leprechauns are scary..small hands.
133. You can meet people so vanilla that they make vanilla seem spicy.
134. Witches are so freaking skeevy.
135. If you are a six-hundred-year hag and you can choose any costume to come back in, go for a hot cheerleader!
136. Don't make a left-hand turn into oncoming traffic! You're not suicidal!
137. Everyone drops dead sooner or later.
138. Longpig means human flesh.
139. 66 seals is not a show at SeaWorld.
140. If you have a weekend off, you can always build a panic room.
141. You should look like a Thriller video reject if you're getting out of hell but don't worry about that if Cas is around.
142. If you work in a cubicle and feel like you don't belong there, you’re probably right.
143. If you’re going to fight ghosts, don’t forget! Health insurance is a must!
144. Be careful when you dig up a body, it’s illegal in possibly all states.
145. Even angels can be stabbed in the face.
146. Contrary to popular belief, driving a classic car and fornicating with women it’s a gift, not a curse.
147. In their spare time, angels do decoupage.
148. When hunting a ghost, first rule: Figure out what you're up against!
149. Ghosts have bad trips too..they're called burny acid or what us mortals call salt.
150. Never ever sit on the bed with your feet on the floor! You don't know when something would grab you by your ankles.
I'll be back with more.
added by bouncybunny3
added by bouncybunny3