The moral of the story: If your twin sister is a psychopath, just keep letting her be a psychopath.

The Big Deal: the Phi Epsilon – Pi Beta Alpha dance

Synopsis:

The series opens with Jessica staring in the mirror, complaining about how fat and ugly she is. This affords the narrator the opportunity to tell us that Jessica and Elizabeth are, in fact, the most spectacular looking identical twins in the whole world. I feel like throwing up already.

Liz has a major crush on Todd Wilkins and he seems to like her, too. They agree to meet after school one day, but Liz ends up running late. She gets...

The moral of the story: It’s okay to act like a total bitch as long as you have a medical condition from which you’ll recover one day and not remember any of your bitchiness. All will be forgiven.

The Big Deal: “Welcome home” party at the Wakefields’ and a “pickup party” at Lila’s

Synopsis:

Most of the first chapter (part of which is for some reason told from Liz’s perspective, even though she’s in a coma) consists of Jessica blabbering to a comatose Liz about how guilty she feels about what happened, blah, blah, blah. Then Liz wakes up and has turned into Jessica. Jess is...

The moral of the story: No motorcycles! Motorcycles=death!

The Big Deal: Enid’s sweet sixteen party

Synopsis:

For some reason Liz is afraid to tell Todd that she isn’t allowed to ride his new motorcycle. For once, Jessica is the voice of reason and tells Liz to just tell him what’s going on. She does and he understands. He offers to talk to Ned and Alice to see about getting the restriction lifted, but they say no. Todd promises them he’ll never let Liz on the bike.

Todd starts giving rides to other girls and Liz gets jealous. She talks to Mr. Collins, naturally, who tells her she needs...