this is the depressing chapter 6
(so sorry for the people who waited for story of a fan I had some problems with writing the story apparently it had been deleted by mistake before I published it)
vanessa is still at the M.A.C still shocked of the relationship between the girl she met on a shop and her celebrity love taylor lautner in which she knows she has no choice.
chapter6 locked in my own heart
they looked so happy together,like they were ment to be.
the interviewers were still interviewing Teresa asking her how does she feel in being the lucky girl.
i would of told them how the unlucky people feel when the person they love is with someone else.
taylor's face expression was bored and tired.
the reason that made me remain there was that taylor lautner wanted me to come but i wish he would had said he hated me and he never wanted to see me again.
if it was that way it would have been better,knowing he hates me wouldve hurt painfully but not more than how you realise he likes you...not quite as a friend...more like a stranger but still likes you..
without having a chance in being with him.
that was the most painful part for me.
he moved and now he was near the crowds of people who where watching him in what he was doing.
He was heading to me and i didnt know...what do do i was staring, my eyes couldnt change the direction where they where looking and i continuosly stared at him,but he's face wasnt really a happy one.
He was closer than he would had ever been,i think he did so for someone to not hear something and i was suspicious how would that affect taylor.
he opened his mouth preparing to speak then he sighed.
"I think its not a good idea for you to stay here"
and that was it ....those words forming a sentence i would had never wanted to hear though...i knew i wasnt going to wait that long for him to say that.
and i couldnt say anything until i noticed he walked away
some questions got in my mind one by one
"is taylor afraid that rumours would tell im his girlfriend?"," teresa doesnt want me here because i met taylor for a total of 10 minutes?
and the questions kept going on without me having a chance to answer them.
but now the reason didnt matter,it was those words that hurt and the images i have in my head with him makes "forgetting him"too hard.
in those seconds,with all the noises from outside I didnt hear anything,not even what was in my mind and i felt ...angry
though i knew it was useless.
I looked at the big clock tower that stood in my right,I wasnt going to be late at home at least.
I remembered I had left my bicycle somewhere but i just couldnt remember where.
I walked looking carelessly after my bike.
a lost bike didnt make me feel i truly lost something but a guy ive never got the chance to tell him what i feel did make me feel bad.
If i add the minutes ivef talked to him it would not be more than 7 minutes,but at least i met him in person unlike other fans who only see him in their dreams.
I saw with with the corner of my eye the wheels from my bicycle and i felt a bit happy,just because it ment i didnt need to stay another minute in the place bad memories would remind me.
Everyone looked once again at my bad combination of elegant dress-converse shoes-and a bike.
A child that reminded me of my brother pointed me out.
On the way to my home i decided to tell my mum mainly the truth,that i was invited by "someone" to the movie award ceremony and that i left early because i had an argument with a woman.
I was almost there, i felt the pressure of sickness,it was probably because i didnt eat a thing today.
For the first time i felt i was lucky to have the keys to the house,it would have been alot worse my mum to open it...
the door was already opened which was either a good thing or a bad thing...it ment they expected me to come home early.
When i got in, the television was loudly open and i didnt know what to expect.
-"Vanessa! your early,arent you"
i should had known i had to wait more until i came home my mum figured out something by now.
-"I saw you on the tv" sayed rob mad ,i guess he wanted to appear on it too.
before i wanted to say something my mum continued
-"and you where talking to taylor lautner"
My brain cells instantly froze it was helplessly,whenever i would hear about him,I would feel something.
My mum noticed I didnt reply and came to me closer.
-"What's wrong Vanessa?...I thought you'd be happy going to M.A.C"
I shook my head to recover and smiled fakely so no one would notice something
-"It's just that M.A.C finished"then I frowned comicly though I was afraid I was acting to stupidish...
-"It was so short...shorter than I expected..."
I repeated those words that I have sayed out loud...
I couldnt resist anymore...
junks of tears surrounded my eyes as I've put my hands on face and fell on my knees.
-"Vanessa!,are you okay, what happened?"
I couldnt hold myself,It was worse than I would've ever expected.I never wanted someone to see this scene...especially my mum and brother at the same time.
I didnt realise I was half-unconcious for a long time as my mum brought me in my room away from my brother and she was sitting on the corner of my bead.
I layed on my bed away from my mum's face and waited for her to start asking questions.
-"Vanessa I wont ask you to give me a summery but...who did this to you?"
I smiled...it would have seemed weird to tell my mum I'm desperately in love with a celebrity.
-"no one did this to me...I did this to myself"
my mum was surprised but I continued.
-"I fell in love with someone I already knew it would have been impossible to have but I still continued"
my mum didnt say a word for a few minutes analysing what I sayed and then hugged me without saying anything.
she knew how much I hated to answer questions when I felt...bad
tommorow was monday I needed to go to school...
My heart was locked...only he had the key to my heart...