Warning: Thist is just my fantasy coming through. And some information to you; the story plays before Bella became a Vampire and there is no Nessie in sight. So its just for out little Jacob's sake, he needs some luving.
Even when your heart breaks...
I had to get over it, i kept telling that to myself, but love was such a cruel monster. Bella Swan. She was what i wanted, and yet the only thing that i couldnt get. Since she came into my life, all the other girls became grey and blurry. Everyone around thought i had lost my mind, and i couldnt blame them. I couldnt sleep, i only ate cause my body wanted me to and that was it. I didnt talk to my wolf brothers, and whenever i could i remained in my human form. Otherwise they would get too much of my pain, and they already were annoyed with Leah. So the only choice i really had was keeping it inside, trying to survive. Even now that i hadnt seen her for a while i remembered every detail of her face. Her wonderful deep brown eyes, and her full lips. I wanted her, more than anyone could want her. Okay, everyone apart from that damn bloodsucker Edward Cullen.
There it was again, that bitter taste of jealousy sending a wave through my body. What the hell was wrong with me? And even more important, why did she have such a hold on me. You need to wake up Jacob Black.Again i was so lost in my thoughts that i didnt hear Embry coming, he appeared behind me, sighing.
''Whats the problem, man'', he tried to sound careless, but after all he was my best friend.
I didnt answer, and that was more than he needed. Cause deep inside he knew what it was, just like all the times before. He took a seat next to me, staring into the sea, that brought up heavy waves. The wheater was about to change, that was what my wolf instincts told me. The smell of a heavy rainshower was in the air, i liked it. I would change into my wolf form later on, running for my life. Running to forget whatever was about to hunt me, running from her.
''I dont think thats healthy, your too much into this.''
I looked at him, trying my best to see the brother he was. But i couldnt help it, my temper played tricks on me. And without any other chance i raised my voice, feeling the anger.
''I didnt ask for your opinion. Keept out of it'', my voice sounded strange and wrong. Like from some old black/white movie, done in the sixties. I was suprised that i even remember how talking worked, its been too long.
''We are all worried about you, you need to get out of that dark hole. She didnt choose you'', again he walked on dangerous ground. The right answer didnt come to my mind, so all i had left was getting up not looking back. I wanted to leave before i said something that i couldnt take back, something that hurted him. I could feel his eyes burning a hole onto my backside, but i started to run. Still human, but probably faster than anyone else i knew. In no time i had reached the forest, and got deeper into it. I would stay focused, trying to find something to do.- trying to forget. And just in the moment that i thought it was working i heard a scream, it was pretty far away.- but i was able to hear it. That was a girls voice, and she seemed to be frightened. Without thinking i started to run, while running changing into my wolf form.- making sure i could run faster. And then i reached a meadow, the one where we fought against the newborns.- not too long ago. But it was empty, apart from this girl lying on the ground over her some wild animal. My heart skipped a beat.
There is nothing you can do
She was laying on the ground, not doing any fast moves, probably trying to find a way out. Her long brunette hair was on the ground aswell, and i could smell blood. I ran faster, my mind didnt work right anymore. Without a second thought i jumped on the bearlike thing, getting into an unfair fight. The thing didnt have a chance, and was down in an instant. I tasted some of the fur and meat in my mouth, allowing my instincts to take over. Behind me i heard some very quiet breathing, she was still in shock and probably crying. But could i make that better? Wouldnt she be scared of me too? I was huge, i was a wolf and i appeared out of nowhere. Not the best way to introduce yourself, apart from the fact that i saved her life. I wanted to turn around, face her and seeing her reaction, but then something happpened. Something that i wouldnt have guessed in a million years, she was there standing next to me. Her hand reaching out to touch my fur, it was insane. A part of me wanted to growl, but the bigger part waited for her hand to reach me. The second she did i held very still, feeling her soft hands.
''Thank you'', it was a whisper. I felt her warm breath reaching my body, it smelled sweet. A mixture of her personal scent and strawberries. Yeah get yourself in more trouble with girls. I babbled to myself, of course in my mind only. Maybe i had saved an angel here, someone that really deserved to be saved. Someone that came from another world, my fantasy was playing tricks on me. None than less, my eyes were focused on her face. It was friendly and yet it was so far away, and i wanted to have a better look. I expected her to get her senses back, running away but that never happened. Instead she kneeles down in the grass, next to the slaugthered bear.- her hand still on my fur. It was like i couldnt get away, and then it hit me.- i didnt wanted to get away. Jacob Black and the ladies...Her green eyes were shining towards me, she smiled again.
''I am not sure if you understand me, neither am I sure if it makes sense. I think i know you, since a long time...'', for the first time i heard her, for real. Her voice was stronger now, like she got over things too easily. And there came the moment when i wanted to answer her, when i wanted her to rub my shoulder.- not my fur. She seemed to understand me without knowing i was in there. It was without a doubt the strangest feeling i had felt in my life, and at the same time it was the best. I laid my head on her knees, another strange move but it seemed right.
Jacob, where are you?, it was Embry now again, but of course in his wolf form.
Leave me alone., i tried to sound mean, but it didnt work. I was currently too relaxed, she made me feel that way.
Sam will send the pack if you dont come home soon., i wasnt sure if that was Embry or Quil, but no matter who they were going on my nerves.
Good i will come, and now shut up, i looked up at the girl, wondering what was going through her head. I wanted to talk to her, telling her i would save her from whatever.- but that was not possible. First of all it would have been odd to change to human form and then stand naked in front of her. Plus i wasnt allowed to give away my secret, so no matter what i was damned. The only girl that ever knew, was the one girl that send me to hell. I was sure that Sam would send the others, and that would make things more complicated. I mean it would be hard to believe to have one huge monsterlike wolf in front of your eyes.- but ten? I didnt wanted to mess her brain up, but i couldnt go.
All of the sudden it seemed like something had sprung to her head, as she looked at me. Her head lowered and she kissed my head, not minding the dirty fur. Then she got up, looking at me with this big eyes.- turning around. Her dress was messed up, everything was messed up.- but she was adorable.
''Goodbye, my love.''
I watched her leaving, fighting with myself if i should run after her. The decision was taken from me, when i heard something moving in the forest.- the pack.
What happened here?, of course it was Sam's voice, the leader. He was a good alpha, but right now i wished he would just die.
A bear tried to attack me...?, this only worked cause it wasnt a real lie. It was just bending the truth. I heard some laughter, it was Paul trying to mock me.- which didnt work currently. They were gone as soon as they came, and i remained a little longer on the meadow. I was laying on the cold ground, looking at the spot where she was just seconds ago. Was this even real? Or did my mind play tricks on me, probably i was going insane. Wouldnt have been a suprise to me. I did soak in her scent again, to make sure i wasnt totally crazy. And that afternoon it happened, for the first time it wasnt about Bella Swan and her complicated life. It was about me, myself and I. And something spread in me, happiness combined with love interest. I had to see that girl again, and I would.
End of the first Chapter...