Fair warring this article states FATCS that are REAL but people make excuse for it or simply deny it, this the real Stefan Salvatore so brace yourselves.
So from S1 until S3 the writers and the fans have portrayed/ seen Stefan as the “good” brother as the “saint” the selfless brother and all that crap. But if you really open your eyes for one second of this picture perfect you will see the truth. That Stefan from day one LIED and kept secrets, hides his past and made his brother out to be the “big bad wolf” and him as the scared little boy who has done nothing wrong.
But facts proves of the opposite, let’s stroll down memory lane shall we? In 1964 the Salvatore brothers met the “lovely” Katharine pierce both were infatuated by her both wanted to be with her and even though she picked Stefan first, Stefan didn’t care how much he hurt his big brother knowing that he too loved Katherine( Stefan’s words not mine), Katherine ended up dating both of the brothers and even though they both wanted her for themselves and weren’t happy about this arrangement they were ok with it(for the time being) both kept competing against each other and both believed that eventually one day she would make her final choice, however the brothers agreed on one thing to keep her secret (her being a vampire) from their father, Damon trust Stefan completely and depended on him, but Stefan being Stefan he hinted to their father about Katherine who already was suspecting her and he did that because he WANTED to be the “good” son who never disappoints his daddy even if it meant hurting Damon (selfish act #1)
When both Salvatore’s were in transition of becoming vampires both agreed to kill themselves and be done with it (we all know what happened after this) so Stefan was turned (by accident, by his own choice) either way he was a vampire and even though he knew that his brother no longer wanted to become a vampire he MADE him become one because he didn’t WANT to be alone (selfish act #2), after they were turned they sated at mystic falls for a while during which Stefan was yet again SELFISH (selfish act #3) by murdering all the founder’s families because he WANTED revenge, while Damon tried to stay low to PROTECT themselves from anyone who might can/want to kill them and kept warning Stefan that he was doing was NOT safe for either of them but Stefan DID what HE WANTED and didn’t CARE that he was hurting Damon yet again.
Shortly after this Damon finally did something for himself and left Stefan but NOT before making SURE that he will get the help he needs. Enters lexie the vampire who made Stefan all “goody good” and deny his past (well she didn’t deny his past but Stefan did).
Back to present day Stefan saw his beloved “Katherine” that he (at the time) thought was dead, and he realized that she was none other than Elena gilbert (just a girl that looks like Katherine) he still followed her because she reminded him of his lost love, didn’t matter the fact that she wasn’t, he just had to know her (again Stefan’s words not mine) he didn’t think it how dangerous things can become by just being in her life he didn’t consider the bad things he would put her through (selfish act #4) (yes I know he didn’t know all that carp will happen to her I’m not blaming him for that) but he must have at least realized giving what he really is that one day she would find out and that would put her or did he truly believe that he can pull off that “I’m human” thing forever, he knew the risks (Stefan’s words “I know the risks” 1x01) still with him knowing the risks he took them anyway (he was lucky that Elena accepted what he is any other girl would have ran way or tried to kill him) yes he prepared to take the risks but did he ever for once think Elena might not be ready, that she might not want to know that there are real vampires and everything she believed to be fiction is real.
And those they “meet” for the “first time” “accidently” outside the boy’s bathroom, and start to his best to impress her and make an impartation on her (smiling) and acting like a normal human 17 year old who like her lost both of his parents (he kept this act up and lies, making Damon look like the monster of the story to us the fans and to everyone Stefan ever met, (we all truly believed him to be the victim to his crazy brother)off topic until episode 5) when Elena being smart that she is figured it out and knew what he was pretending to be is a big fat lie, and giving that Elena is as kind and forgiving and loving as smart she forgave him and gave him another chance (after he told her the ”whole story” or so she thought) , only to find out that he didn’t tell her everything he still had some skeleton in his closet, the guy slept with her he would at least tell her have the decency to tell her that he didn’t “accidently” met her at school, or the fact she was adopted or the fact that he went after her because she look like his ex, but no he kept that from her because he was afraid she wouldn’t understand and that he would lose her which make this (selfish act #5) because he had no right keeping this from (putting aside the Katherine look alike thing that his business) but the other stuff her being adopted, him meting her the “first time” in school it’s her business she has every right to know the truth about her origin, and how she survived the car accident while her parents died she deserved to know that.
To top all of this, he made Damon look like the psycho path (and the way Damon was acting didn’t help, yes he was doing bad things, but wasn’t completely lost like Stefan wrote in his diaries 1x03 “there’s nothing human left in Damon”, he was doing what he thought had to be done to get what he wanted, he never lied to Stefan he kept him in the dark yes but didn’t lie about what he’s planning and despite Damon’s plan he never took a risk with Stefan’s life, he could have easily let Logan kill Stefan in 1x06 and Damon would have been free to do his plan in pace but he never let his plan interfere with his brother’s life, he even made lexie take the blame for all the killings that he was doing again he could have easily made Stefan take the blame) but guess what Stefan had a much much darker past than Damon and he ACTED like he was above it, like he never made any mistakes or anything bad in his life, and whenever Damon good side start to show he always suspected and made everyone think that there’s something behind this nice act.